When someone you know opens their own business we should find ways to support them. Especially if they open a restaurant.
Paying for your meals is the least we can do considering the time and effort they’ve put into their business.
Redditor AITAcafe_gfbrother encountered this very issue with their mom. So they turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for laughing at my mum and telling her it’s not my fault she’s broke?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My girlfriend’s brother owns a small cafe and bakery. It’s a relatively new place, but I recommend it to everyone who wants a place to go. Everything there is good quality and it’s very cute.”
“It’s worth mentioning that my girlfriend and her brother are very close and my mom knows this.”
“This past weekend, my mom was in town and decided to visit the cafe with a few of her friends.”
“In the middle of the afternoon while my girlfriend is at work, I get a very distressed, angry phone call from my mom, demanding to speak to my girlfriend. I’m very confused and I could tell that she was crying, so I tried to calm her down a little before I tried to piece together what happened.”
OP’s mom was incredibly upset.
“Once she’s ready, she starts ranting about how terrible the cafe was. She claims that the staff treated her terribly and how my girlfriend’s brother embarrassed her in front of her friends.”
“I ask her to elaborate, and she explains that she didn’t bring any money to pay because she thought it would be free because she is ‘a friend of the owner.’ Because she didn’t have any money, she was forced to ask one of her friends to pay the bill.”
“To be fair, I found this all a little funny and absurd so I laughed.”
“Looking back on it, I probably shouldn’t have done this as this really, really aggravated her. She got mad, and proceeded to call my girlfriend a terrible person ‘who was never going to be a part of the family.’”
“I got mad, telling my mom that it’s not my fault that she’s broke. After that, she hung up.”
“I thought it was fine, but then I found out that my mom left a pretty bad review on the cafe’s website, harassed the cafe, and left my girlfriend a string of badly written text messages. I feel bad, because I don’t want my girlfriend – or her brother to suffer because of my actions.”
“EDIT: I’ve apologized to my girlfriend and her brother for my mom’s behavior. My girlfriend doesn’t blame me, but I still feel terrible.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA but you should really have a talk with your mother about how trash her behavior was, considering NO ONE had ever said she would get a free ride there.”
“Also I would more likely apologize to your GF and her brother about your mother’s behavior, and work on getting her to apologize and take the review down.” ~ arachnobravia
“Yeah no, I have no idea how she thought she would get a meal for SEVERAL PEOPLE on the house because she vaguely knows the owner. I don’t think I’ve even gotten a free drink there.”
“I’ve already apologized to my girlfriend and her brother, I feel so, so bad for the both of them.!” ~ AITAcafe_gfbrother
“I have 2 friends who have owned restaurants. One friend made it very clear from the beginning that there would be no freebies or discounts for friends. The other gave free stuff and discounts to anyone with the tiniest connection to him (OH, you’re my second cousins’ dog groomers’ landscapers wife? Sire free apps for the table!). Guess which restaurant closed during the pandemic because it was too far into the red?” ~ Fairykinn
“I’m pretty sure most non-trash restaurants have some kind of small comp the staff can dispense in a liberal but limited fashion to help ease the flow of business.”
“The key would be, small, and used sparingly.” ~ flukefluk
OP should explain how a business works to their mom.
“The restaurant I worked at pre-covid was a smaller Korean fusion place, and as part of our training they told us for each table we had to ‘go the extra mile.'”
“Sometimes an opportunity to do something like hang up coats, or bring warm napkins for messy sauce, or free samples would come up, but the most frequently used extra mile was to send the table a free small dish of their roasted potatoes or whatever seasonal veggie side we had.”
“It was ridiculous how much money I’m sure they lost giving those free dishes to every single table.” ~ elaina__rose
“I Joke about getting ‘free’ stuff from a large corporation restaurant because my family member is a manager and the restaurant can take it (its free in the sense that it gets taxed later).”
“But small business? Nope! As a friend/family member, you should WANT to pay and help their business. Not cripple it, by expecting free shit.” ~ SilverWings115736
“People trying to get free stuff from a business through “being friends” or “we’re the owner’s cousin” or whatever are so trashy in my mind. If you are friends or family of the owner the. That should make you WANT to pay full price to try to show your support for them!”
“If the owner offers a free drink or pastry or something, that’s one thing. But to expect it and complain when you don’t get it is absolutely garbage behavior.” ~ Frejian
“I started a little cake business. Now that I do cakes, apparently everyone wants one from me. My aunt expected her cake to be free. I said hell no, do you have any idea how much money ingredients cost? And what about my time?”
“I don’t believe in family discounts, of all people my FAMILY should be fully supporting me, not trying to get handouts because I provide this service now. Anyway, she wasn’t willing to pay so she didn’t get a cake. I can’t afford to eat $100.” ~ narcolepticturtle
That is an interesting reaction for an adult.