Arrogant people who think they are sexperts need to check themselves before they wreck themselves.
A woman had always noticed that her male friend was a braggart about his sexual conquests.
But one day, she epically contradicted his claims and the resulting fallout made the 24-year-old Redditor Lucky-Crow visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and ask:
“AITA for telling my male friend that he’s sh*t at sex.”
Lucky-Crow explained how she discovered for a fact that her friend was all talk.
“One of my (24F) male friends, I’ll call Jack (25 M[ale]), is a bit of a lad and very good looking.”
“Jack basically thinks that lad points are important, he’s always going on about how many girls he’s been with and how high is body count is.”
“I lived with him in a house share for a while and whenever he bought a girl home, he’d make sure to parade her around by introducing her, spend 15-20mins in his room having sex, then come out and strut around naked or in his boxers..yes he really would.”
“I remember saying a few times why are you out here, you have a beautiful girl in your room and you’re not in there with her?”
“This behaviour was pretty common for him and even though he was an almighty douche, we were still friends.”
“Anyway after about 8 months of living together, after a drunken night, me and Jack ended up in bed together.”
GIPHY
“Honestly it was terrible and having slept with him I realised something. Jack had a big dick (which I knew because of his strutting) but he thought that having a big dick automatically meant he was good at sex.”
“Like it just immediately made him amazing in bed. Our sex was sh*t, like hands down the worst sex I’d ever had.”
“No foreplay, he left lights and tv on, then unceremoniously shoved himself inside me. The whole thing was basically a race for him to get inside me as quickly as possible. Maybe 10 minutes of uncomfortable jackhammering then he was done.”
The Original Poster (OP) then explained the lingering effects of his so-called “jackhammering.”
“The next morning I was really sore because 1. I wasn’t wet at all 2. His dick was big. But because I was sore he took that as him doing a bang up job.”
“Anyway that experience was a few years ago, and even after all this time, Jack is still the same lad he was and still f’ks girls like they’re lined up on a conveyor belt for him.”
“Back to the present. Recently, my husband and I hosted a bbq in our garden as gatherings are now allowed. Jack came over as he’s in our mutuals group.”
“Of course after a while Jack starts going on about the girls he’s f’ked, and even showing up another girl at the party by telling people he’d f’ked her.”
“It’s then he turns to me and asks if I can prove to the lads how ‘fire’ he is at sex.”
Jack quickly learned there were consequences for putting the OP on the spot.
“Slightly embarrassed but also angry he even mentioned me, I straight up told him he was sh*t.”
“Basically worst sex I ever had, I then went onto say what happened and that he only has sex just to say that he’s had sex.”
“It wasn’t fun, pleasurable or enjoyable and for the record I didn’t come. Amazingly enough, two other girls also backed up what I was saying.”
“Saying their nights with him were pretty much the same to how I described it. Jack got defensive and angry but we wouldn’t drop it. He eventually left absolutely fuming.”
“My husband, who knows I slept with him years before said I was insensitive, especially as it seems jack relies heavily on the lad/sex God persona he’s created.”
“I don’t think so, it was about time Jack was called out for being sh*t in bed and maybe use this to learn how to actually have sex. All the boys in the group think I’m an a** for calling Jack out, me and the girls disagree.”
The OP updated her thread to clarify a few points.
“Should clear a few things up. A lot of people asking why I was or am friends with Jack. I was back then, because honestly at times he was a decent guy, just blanketed by a douchey exterior.”
“After I moved out of the house, we fell out of close contact but are still hovering in mutual friend circles. I’m not directly friends with him now but he’s still a friend of a friend and we are normally civil.”
Further, in case there was any confusion, the OP said she was never unfaithful to her husband.
“For the record I did not cheat on my husband. Jack and I had a one night stand together years ago while we were at uni.”
“I wouldn’t consider him my friend now but we still have mutuals from different social circles and we do occasionally still see one another.”
The OP asked Redditors to weigh in on whether or not she was wrong for calling out Jack in front of their friends.
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked to decide if the OP was:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors admired her hutzpah.
“Seriously, he may have a big dick, but she’s got monster lady balls. I would enjoy her friendship as well.”
“Dude needs to Google how to do the deed. A line of women with friction burns is ready to complete their feedback surveys.” – WeedIsFuckingAwesome
“Seriously OP you are a hero to all of us who’ve ever put up with mediocre sex with douchebags who thought they were good at it.”
“NTA and also you’re welcome to join my friends and I for brunch or drinks anytime.” – TheConcerningEx
“I have to go with NTA. It’s absolutely gross that he had to brag about sleeping with OP in a group and in front of her husband.”
“It’s not like OP brought it up. She’s under no obligation to lie him or the group.” – Rastavaray
This Redditor is familiar with the Jacks of the world.
“NTA. I knew plenty of Jack’s, in fact one of them was actually called Jack and he was absolutely the worst sex I have ever had.”
“He was also a lad who liked to gloat about all the women he had slept with. I was intrigued so I slept with him and it was the worst sex I have ever had, and again for exactly the same reason -he was sh*t at sex but had a big d*ck.”
“Jack needed a reality check, and it was his fault for bringing you up. He should have known better. The only reason your husband said you were insensitive is because he can relate – you hit Jack where it hurts all men, right in the sexual performance.”
“Your husband was just feeling second hand shame. Jack deserved it though, some people need a splash of cold water.” – HighQueenOfFillory
“We have all known a Jack, although mine was named Ian.”
“Big d*ck, but doesn’t really do much.”
“Ladies, the moment a man starts bragging about how big his d*ck is but has nothing else to say, run.” – CaptainTrips1919
This paramour gave a thoughtful explanation about what is essential to achieving good sex.
“Our society places a lot of emphasis on size and duration, as though they’re the only things that matter for sex (speaking as a guy who’s well-endowed).”
“A lot of boys are never really taught or learn anything else — porn reinforces the same stereotype.”
“The guys who truly excel at sex (not that I’m tooting my own horn) actually pay attention to their partners.”
“A huge part of my enjoyment comes from just listening to the girl and feeling her body react — the more genuine enjoyment I’m hearing and feeling, the more excited it makes me. And the best way to get the best noises and movements? Make her really excited.”
“It’s a positive feedback loop. In both senses of the expression.” – Vagrant123
And this Redditor explained that open communication with a partner can yield positive results.
“I faked it my entire sex life. No man paid enough attention to make fireworks happen and I was embarrassed to say anything, probably bc there’s still some weird stigma over women actually enjoying and talking about sex.”
“A couple of years ago with my current partner who I know ill spend my life with, I decided fuck this.”
“I told him what he was doing wasn’t working, we changed it around a lot and now we have the best sex ever. If it isn’t working I tell him and he’s absolutely cool with that, as he should be.”
“So moral of the story – SPEAK UP LADIES!! It’s worth it and if they’re decent guys they won’t mind.” ~ emmaheath_mua1
The truth may have stung, but Jack did ask for a confirmation about his performance in the bedroom. Based on his reaction, he wasn’t ready to hear it.