A close friend committing an act of deceit can ruin friendships forever.
But what happens when a family member betrays you? Is it just as easy to move on with your life as it is with an untrustworthy friend?
Redditor Tabibi12 is a 32-year-old woman who ten years ago was encouraged by her sister to end her relationship with the man she was dating at the time.
The revelation of the truth behind the sister’s motive severely fractured their sisterly bond for good.
After responding negatively to new family development, she visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for saying I don’t care about my sister finally having a kid?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“10 years ago I was dating Sean (33 male) when my sister Anna (34 female) encouraged me to break up with him because we weren’t good together.”
“At the time I was hesitant but then he cheated on me with this woman he worked with and I was done.”
“Anna was the most vocal cheerleader in the whole thing and then three months later I found out they were dating. I won’t lie, I felt betrayed.”
“Not because I particularly care about friends/family dating ex’s but more to do with the fact she was so vocal about us not being good together before we knew he cheated.”
“It felt like she wanted him for herself when I looked back, but on top of that she starts dating the guy who cheated on me. They never meant for me to find out when I did but once I found out they were openly together.”
“The girl he cheated with was almost more pissed than me at first. She thought they were going to be together. It was a mess. But I declared myself done with my sister that day.”
“I didn’t go to their wedding and I didn’t invite her to mine. I had two boys she never met and I knew from family she was struggling to conceive but I never reached out to support her.”
“Two months ago my parents told me she was pregnant and wanted to invite me to her baby shower but they wanted to talk to me first so they could explain why it was so important that I put the past to rest and move on.”
“They said our kids deserve to know each other and this pregnancy has been rough so her daughter is a true miracle baby and I would be a great aunt if I’m willing.”
“I told them I’m not and that they need to stop trying to make me move forward in a relationship with her. They told me she’s having a baby and this could be great for me.”
“I told them I don’t care if she’s having a kid or not. That I want no part of their lives. My parents told me I am dead wrong for that. Because their kid is innocent and is family, blood, and deserves to have her family want her.”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole in the situation.
“NTA – Family is blood? Then why didn’t they handle her when she did what she did? They are just guilt-tripping you.” – GoatEatingTroll
“NTA. OP, next time they come at you with that bullsh*t, tell them that THEY chose her over you, and if they harass you any more, you’ll be happy to cut them out of your children’s lives.”
“And seriously consider doing this anyway, b/c family that backs up a woman who steals her sister’s man is toxic and you don’t want that around your kids.” – usernaym44
“Part of me suspects the sister and the ex were an emotional affair, in the very least, before he cheated with someone else as well. Or that they planned it so that they would have an excuse of ‘But we weren’t together when you two were’ bs.” – fallen_star_2319
“Funny how your parents didn’t care that family is blood when she started dating your ex, or when YOU had children.”
“It’s just the precious golden child’s baby that counts is it? You are better off out of it. NTA” – HelloAll-GoodbyeAll
“NTA. Reproducing should not be used as a get out of jail card.”
“Am I right to assume that child is also a product of the guy who cheated on you or did she move on to some other guy?” – Maleficent_Ad_3958
The OP confirmed:
“She’s still with my ex.”
More NTA judgments continued.
“That just makes it worse because both of the people who betrayed you are trying to get you to celebrate their betrayal because often babies are seen as somehow legitimizing what they did to you. No thanks.”
“That definitely solidifies the NTA.” – Maleficent_Ad_3958
“NTA. Innocent kids are everywhere. There isn’t anything special about your sister’s.”
“Plus, you can’t have a relationship with the kids without a healthy relationship with the parents, and that just doesn’t sound like it is feasible.”
“Given that you don’t seem to be missing anything about not knowing their kids, I’d say keep on doing things your way.” – NachoDelFuego
“Nta. The kid deserves family that want her. But you – due to the actions of her father and mother – no longer feel a familial bond with your sister. The end.”
“To add: your parents are also incredibly hurtfull with their ‘your sister is having such a rough time’. Your sister gave you a rough time, so why would you make her feel better.” – EntertainmentOk6284
“NTA. Cousins are over-rated and your sister did you wrong. Thinking that you’ll have a deeper bond with someone just because you share dna is archaic and not true. The fact that your sister did what she did is proof of that.”
“Your parents are trying to make peace between their kids so it’s understandable but it’s easier for them to forgive because no wrong was done to them.” – thundaga0
Overall, Redditors believed the parents should respect the OP’s decision for not wanting to bond with her sister’s baby, regardless of whether or not the child was a miracle.