It's still far too common, not to mention too easy, to look down on people for working certain jobs.
But it's important to reserve judgment, for more often than not people might find themselves working jobs which are less than glamorous simply to help them get by.
And regardless, hard work always should be commended, no matter the position.
In order to help pay for her rent and tuition, Redditor Professional_Kiwi914 took a job with some pre-existing stigmas attached to it, something her roommate reminded her of on a regular basis.
Before too long, the original poster (OP) couldn't take any more of her roommates constant criticisms of her job, and didn't mince words in telling her so.
Worried that she might have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I the A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA snapping at my roommate for judging me for working at Hooters?"
The OP explained how her roommate's judgment towards her job finally reached its boiling point.
"I (21 F[emale]) recently got a job at hooters and my roommate, Ivy, has started making extremely passive-aggressive comments about it."
"I just started the job two months ago and ever since I started my roommate will not let up."
"We are both college students and both work in order to pay rent so I decided that I would try a hand at hooters because I have heard about how much money you can make, and so far it's all been true."
"I know some people have had really bad experiences but I adore all of my coworkers and have a very healthy work environment."
"Onto the issue, Ivy will make the rudest comments when I am about to leave or come home."
"She'll make 'slut jokes', say I am making women's lives harder by enforcing standards and make comments around the idea that I am losing 'worth'."
"Every time I bite back she always gets defensive and says that I don't know how to take a joke."
"This all blew up over the weekend."
"We invited all of our friends and boyfriends over to our apartment."
"They all got there at 8 and my shift ended at 10 so I was going to be late no matter what."
"When I walked in the door Ivy pointed at me and said 'This is what I was talking about!'"
"'The uniform is so demeaning!'"
"And I don't know if it was the stress of everything but I just snapped."
"I told her to shut the f*ck up and that if she was going to make her sh*tty comments at least do it in private."
"She got really sulky and said I was proving her point that I can't take a joke."
"Most of our friends took my side but I want an unbiased opinion."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for snapping at her roommate.
Everyone agreed that Ivy was being passive aggressive and judgmental, and the OP had every right to put her in her place.
"NTA."
"When someone says 'can't you take a joke?'"
"'I hear 'can't you take bullying?'"- Traveling-Techie
"NTA."
"Is Hooters my favorite phenomenon?"
"Nope."
"But do I absolutely support women doing whatever they want and making as much money as they can?"
"Absolutely."
"You do you."
"The roommate needs to pipe down and remember that if we're going to get anywhere with getting rid of misogyny then women need to support other women."- clutteredshovel
"NTA."
"Her trying to control what you do isn't very empowering for women now is it."
"She sounds misogynistic AF."- dumbbinch99
"NTA."
"I hate Hooters but that doesn't give your roommate the right to mock and demean you, especially in front of others."
"She needs to learn to mind her business."- lascivious_chicken
"NTA."
"She keeps trying to defend herself by saying she is joking, but you've made it clear that you don't appreciate her 'jokes' on this subject."
"That means it's no longer a joke."
"It's bullying and demeaning you."
"If she is so worried about empowerment, she shouldn't be so focused on tearing you down for making a choice that highlights your physical attributes rather than being ashamed of them."- 1568314
"NTA."
"If someone is going to make it rain, go on and pick it up."
"If you want to work at hooters, work at hooters."
"If you want to be a stripper be a stripper."
"If you want to be a librarian, go to fucking library school."
"You do you."
"Your roommate can go f*ck herself."- Guilty666
"NTA I'm a woman and Hooters is my fav chain restaurant."- drowzychaperone
"NTA."
"You know what really makes a woman lose her worth?"
"Putting down another woman."- aNoNonny23
"I don't think anyone should feel shamed for what they do for work."
"You're NTA. It's not a joke to degrade someone."
"She needs to learn how to tell a joke that's actually funny."
"Now I need some fried pickles."- nuts_n_bolts
"NTA."
"At first glance, Ivy seems to be your iconic: 'I'm happy to give it, but can't take it' type... who's always quick with a joke putting someone else down, but when 'joked back at', is fast to get defensive."
"Really hate those kind of people to begin with."
"Then as your story goes on, Ivy kinda proves herself to be a real a**hole."
"Really hope you can get her out of your life - she sounds awful."- UMCorian
"NTA."
"Hooters is not even that serious."
"Why is she acting like you are using sex as a weapon?"- melodyharper
"NTA."
"And I'm a boomer dyed in the wool feminist."
"She's probably jealous."
"Find a different living situation."- Stock_Vanilla8655
"'You can't take a joke'" is code for "I''m an a**hole and don't have a sense of humor myself, so I just insult people and call it a joke'."
"NTA."- Zestyclose-Page-1507
"NTA."
"She's probably just jealous you, uh, 'qualify' and she doesn't."
"I kid, I kid."- TaliesinWI
"NTA."
"You clearly expressed to her that you didn't appreciate that line of jokes multiple times and for her to do it in front of everyone is a a**hole thing to do."
"Maybe she has the luxury of having wealthy parents that pay for everything or is going eyeball high in debt."
"I'd 100% work at hooters if I was a female."
"It's a great income for the period of life you'll make the most there."- icollectt
"I mean."
"I definitely judge Hooters because the sexed up environment can go sideways really quick, and I've heard some stories."
"But if you're confident enough to wear their uniform and careful enough to do the job safely, go for it!"
"I'm all for any legal job that allows you to take care of yourself and better yet, lets you further your education."
"NTA."- psyche1986
"NTA."
"You chose to work there knowing the uniform, there for its not really demeaning, no one is forcing you to wear it."
"Ivy sounds like she may not understand feminism and slut shaming is really really over played at this point."- Platypus_Dream
"NTA."
"Your roommate is jealous and taking her insecurities out on you."
"Hooters is literally just like any other chain."
"I feel like most people that assume it's practically a strip club haven't actually been to hooters."-ASBF2015
"NTA."
"Please ask her to explain, in detail, exactly what the joke is."
"She isn't joking and she knows it."
"She just doesn't like being called out."- frustratedfren
"Hooters is sexist, misogynistic and ought to have been left in the 1970's where it belongs, but your roommate is still being a huge a**hole for the way she is going about this."
"Ask her to explain the 'joke'."
"NTA."- Sorry_Opportunity_81
"NTA."
"She's pouting because she thought everyone would join in and give you shit too, and that you'd just stand there and take it, and instead you stood up for yourself and no one agreed with her because they actually seem to respect and like you, making her look like the a**hole that she is."-Worth_Raspberry_11
"I'm not a fan of hooters, but I am a fan of women earn a living."
"Your friend is not being a friend because passive aggression is insidious and toxic behavior."
"Your faux pas isn't where you work, but who you choose to associate with."
"Nothing about her behavior screams 'friend' to me."
"Does she always disrespect you like this when you do anything that she doesn't approve of?"
"Don't you find that weird?"- IrreverantBard
Considering that Ivy doesn't ever need to go to Hooters herself, one can't help but wonder what she was trying to accomplish by constantly making life more difficult for the OP.
Who, she should remember, was only working there to help cover her share of the rent.
Then too, even if Ivy was "only joking", the fact that she was well aware that the OP "couldn't take a joke" and continued telling them regardless is very telling indeed.
Humiliated Redditor Ditches Friend's Birthday After She Publicly Mocks Them In Front Of Everyone
Fake people tend to show their true colors during pivotal moments, like weddings and major celebrations.
But when they want an audience to hurt someone else, it takes total sense that they would be called out in front of everyone, as agreed by members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit.
Redditor HollyyGinger went to their close friend's birthday party, expecting to have a good time and celebrate their loved one's special day.
But when their close friend made several mocking comments about them, and the party laughed along with them, the Original Poster (OP) took that as an indication of the state of their friendship and left the birthday party early.
They asked the sub:
The OP was excited to celebrate their close friend's birthday.
"One of my close friends had a birthday dinner last weekend, and I was genuinely excited to go."
"I helped her organize a few things beforehand, bought her a gift, and even rearranged some plans because I wanted to be there for her."
But the birthday dinner did not go at all how the OP expected.
"During dinner, though, she started making little jokes about me in front of everyone."
"At first, I laughed along because I didn't want to make things awkward on her birthday."
"But she kept going. She joked about dating life, brought up an embarrassing story I had told her privately, and made another comment about how I'm ''way too sensitive' sometimes."
"People were laughing, and I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but honestly, I felt pretty humiliated."
The OP tried to ask their friend to change the direction of the rest of the party.
"I quietly asked her when we were alone if she could stop making me the joke of the evening."
"She rolled her eyes and said I was taking everything too seriously and that everyone knew she was joking."
"I went back to the table for a while because I really didn't want to ruin her birthday."
"But then she made another joke about me, so I decided I'd had enough. I congratulated her again, said goodbye to everyone, and went home without making a scene."
The OP's friend tried to blame them for how the evening turned out.
"The next morning, she texted me, saying she was hurt that I left early and that several people noticed."
"She said that I made her feel like she had done something horrible when she was 'just having fun.' But her having fun was more of a public embarrassment to me."
"Now I feel guilty, because it was her birthday, and maybe I could have just ignored it for another hour or two."
"I wasn't trying to punish her or make the night about me. I just didn't want to sit there smiling while someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I had specifically asked her to stop."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she didn't have to stay at a party where she didn't feel welcome.
"She was having fun. You were not having fun."
"You’re not overreacting. You told her it was hurting you, and she kept doing it because hurting you was entertaining for her. She is not a good friend." - Dunquinn-
"I remember when I was really little, a bunch of adults were laughing at me as I cried."
"I cried to my mom, 'Stop laughing at me,' to which she replied, 'We aren’t laughing at you; we're laughing with you,' while giggling."
"My response was something I stand by to this day: 'Then why am I the only one crying?!'"
"It’s only funny if the person who’s being teased is laughing too. You weren’t laughing. It wasn’t funny; it was cruel. NOR." - XSmartypants
"She’s a bully. It wasn’t 'more like 'it was publicly embarrassing. It WAS publicly embarrassing."
"Then she tells you that SHE is embarrassed because YOU left early. That's bulls**t."
"NOR. Drop her." - WTH_JFG
"NOR. They make jokes about someone's privacy to humiliate that person. Anyone who would use info that was shared in confidence to get a laugh is an abuser. You don't do that, especially to a close friend, without the intent to hurt that person." - BungenessKrabb
"Would it have been fun if you did the same? Start telling her darkest secrets?"
"She made you into a punchline for other people’s entertainment."
"You told her to stop, and she didn’t; now she’s the victim?"
"NOR."
"But also, some people need to feel it to believe it. I hope you go to the next gathering with a few stories of your own and don’t let her rewrite the narrative." - beached_not_broken
"I’ve had it happen by my 'best friend' at the time, only it was in a professional setting event. Very personal details only she knew, all spilled for her amusement, embarrassing me in front of colleagues."
"NOR, OP. As you did, I left the gathering earlier than expected. My 'friend' called the next day asking why I left so early. I told her what she had said and done and how humiliated I felt."
"Her 'apology' was that flippant version that shows no remorse, like, 'Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.'"
"Over the subsequent years, she managed to alienate and burn bridges with most of those same people we were gathered with."
"I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. Anyone who thinks you were 'too sensitive' has no empathy and 'friends' like that don’t deserve your time." - Hungry_Tank9182
"NOR. She was being a jerk to you, and she was expecting you to just take it and not say anything or defend yourself."
"Because they think it's sooo funny to mock others, but I bet if the roles were reversed, she would be offended and upset."
"Honestly, you deserve better friends. I'm sorry you had to deal with this."
"I would've left and blocked her." - Cryslove
Others urged the OP to stop thinking about the event and let that friendship go.
"That was the point of her fun! Humiliating you with an audience!"
"Sharing something deeply personal, told in confidence? Immediate dealbreaker."
"She is not (and likely never was) your friend. Friends do not treat friends with such disrespect. Block her, and go no contact. She brings nothing good to your life, and she’s not worthy of your energy and time."
"NOR." - MizPeachyKeen
"It’s called bullying. She is not your friend. Friends don’t humiliate their true friends, or tell them 'they are too sensitive.'"
"That is what bullies do. She keeps you around to put you down and make herself look or feel better."
"Her actions, attitude, and behavior are those of an immature high schooler. She could actually be jealous of you and not want one or all of the following: you to succeed, have more friends, feel better about yourself, look better, etc."
"Please slowly distance yourself, find new hobbies and activities with more mature, well-rounded, healthy people." - Freeling_Fab_U_lous
"How DARE you spoil her fun; didn't you know that part of your gift was letting her make you the butt of her jokes? (sarcastic comment)"
"What an awful person. No one should need to put others down to raise themselves up. She doesn't deserve the title of friend, to be honest. You showed much more grace than I would have managed." - tphatmcgee
"She was using you as her punching bag to make the others attending laugh. Probably thinking you’d just take it. That’s not a good friend. NOR." - Additional-Start9455
"'Someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I asked them to stop.' NOR."
"First, you shouldn't have had to ask her to stop because a friend wouldn't have started in the first place. One of her 'jokes' was about you being sensitive, so she knew you didn't like it and did it anyway."
"Second, you asked her privately to stop, because you didn't want to embarrass her. Think about that. You didn't want to embarrass her. But she couldn't show you the same consideration, even after being asked to stop."
"That's not how I treat my friends, and I suspect that's not how you treat your friends, either." - calminthedark
"I would have answered her text that she's a s**tty friend and to f**k off. You have class."
"I probably would have made a comment at dinner that I asked her to stop with the insults."
"NOR. You did everything right." - Particular-King218
The subReddit was disappointed on the OP's behalf that a friendship they were so committed to, they were excited to celebrate their friend's birthday and even helped plan the event, came apart at their expense, and on very public terms.
If the friend didn't want to be "embarrassed," maybe she should have thought about how she was embarrassing others first.