It's still far too common, not to mention too easy, to look down on people for working certain jobs.
But it's important to reserve judgment, for more often than not people might find themselves working jobs which are less than glamorous simply to help them get by.
And regardless, hard work always should be commended, no matter the position.
In order to help pay for her rent and tuition, Redditor Professional_Kiwi914 took a job with some pre-existing stigmas attached to it, something her roommate reminded her of on a regular basis.
Before too long, the original poster (OP) couldn't take any more of her roommates constant criticisms of her job, and didn't mince words in telling her so.
Worried that she might have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I the A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA snapping at my roommate for judging me for working at Hooters?"
The OP explained how her roommate's judgment towards her job finally reached its boiling point.
"I (21 F[emale]) recently got a job at hooters and my roommate, Ivy, has started making extremely passive-aggressive comments about it."
"I just started the job two months ago and ever since I started my roommate will not let up."
"We are both college students and both work in order to pay rent so I decided that I would try a hand at hooters because I have heard about how much money you can make, and so far it's all been true."
"I know some people have had really bad experiences but I adore all of my coworkers and have a very healthy work environment."
"Onto the issue, Ivy will make the rudest comments when I am about to leave or come home."
"She'll make 'slut jokes', say I am making women's lives harder by enforcing standards and make comments around the idea that I am losing 'worth'."
"Every time I bite back she always gets defensive and says that I don't know how to take a joke."
"This all blew up over the weekend."
"We invited all of our friends and boyfriends over to our apartment."
"They all got there at 8 and my shift ended at 10 so I was going to be late no matter what."
"When I walked in the door Ivy pointed at me and said 'This is what I was talking about!'"
"'The uniform is so demeaning!'"
"And I don't know if it was the stress of everything but I just snapped."
"I told her to shut the f*ck up and that if she was going to make her sh*tty comments at least do it in private."
"She got really sulky and said I was proving her point that I can't take a joke."
"Most of our friends took my side but I want an unbiased opinion."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for snapping at her roommate.
Everyone agreed that Ivy was being passive aggressive and judgmental, and the OP had every right to put her in her place.
"NTA."
"When someone says 'can't you take a joke?'"
"'I hear 'can't you take bullying?'"- Traveling-Techie
"NTA."
"Is Hooters my favorite phenomenon?"
"Nope."
"But do I absolutely support women doing whatever they want and making as much money as they can?"
"Absolutely."
"You do you."
"The roommate needs to pipe down and remember that if we're going to get anywhere with getting rid of misogyny then women need to support other women."- clutteredshovel
"NTA."
"Her trying to control what you do isn't very empowering for women now is it."
"She sounds misogynistic AF."- dumbbinch99
"NTA."
"I hate Hooters but that doesn't give your roommate the right to mock and demean you, especially in front of others."
"She needs to learn to mind her business."- lascivious_chicken
"NTA."
"She keeps trying to defend herself by saying she is joking, but you've made it clear that you don't appreciate her 'jokes' on this subject."
"That means it's no longer a joke."
"It's bullying and demeaning you."
"If she is so worried about empowerment, she shouldn't be so focused on tearing you down for making a choice that highlights your physical attributes rather than being ashamed of them."- 1568314
"NTA."
"If someone is going to make it rain, go on and pick it up."
"If you want to work at hooters, work at hooters."
"If you want to be a stripper be a stripper."
"If you want to be a librarian, go to fucking library school."
"You do you."
"Your roommate can go f*ck herself."- Guilty666
"NTA I'm a woman and Hooters is my fav chain restaurant."- drowzychaperone
"NTA."
"You know what really makes a woman lose her worth?"
"Putting down another woman."- aNoNonny23
"I don't think anyone should feel shamed for what they do for work."
"You're NTA. It's not a joke to degrade someone."
"She needs to learn how to tell a joke that's actually funny."
"Now I need some fried pickles."- nuts_n_bolts
"NTA."
"At first glance, Ivy seems to be your iconic: 'I'm happy to give it, but can't take it' type... who's always quick with a joke putting someone else down, but when 'joked back at', is fast to get defensive."
"Really hate those kind of people to begin with."
"Then as your story goes on, Ivy kinda proves herself to be a real a**hole."
"Really hope you can get her out of your life - she sounds awful."- UMCorian
"NTA."
"Hooters is not even that serious."
"Why is she acting like you are using sex as a weapon?"- melodyharper
"NTA."
"And I'm a boomer dyed in the wool feminist."
"She's probably jealous."
"Find a different living situation."- Stock_Vanilla8655
"'You can't take a joke'" is code for "I''m an a**hole and don't have a sense of humor myself, so I just insult people and call it a joke'."
"NTA."- Zestyclose-Page-1507
"NTA."
"She's probably just jealous you, uh, 'qualify' and she doesn't."
"I kid, I kid."- TaliesinWI
"NTA."
"You clearly expressed to her that you didn't appreciate that line of jokes multiple times and for her to do it in front of everyone is a a**hole thing to do."
"Maybe she has the luxury of having wealthy parents that pay for everything or is going eyeball high in debt."
"I'd 100% work at hooters if I was a female."
"It's a great income for the period of life you'll make the most there."- icollectt
"I mean."
"I definitely judge Hooters because the sexed up environment can go sideways really quick, and I've heard some stories."
"But if you're confident enough to wear their uniform and careful enough to do the job safely, go for it!"
"I'm all for any legal job that allows you to take care of yourself and better yet, lets you further your education."
"NTA."- psyche1986
"NTA."
"You chose to work there knowing the uniform, there for its not really demeaning, no one is forcing you to wear it."
"Ivy sounds like she may not understand feminism and slut shaming is really really over played at this point."- Platypus_Dream
"NTA."
"Your roommate is jealous and taking her insecurities out on you."
"Hooters is literally just like any other chain."
"I feel like most people that assume it's practically a strip club haven't actually been to hooters."-ASBF2015
"NTA."
"Please ask her to explain, in detail, exactly what the joke is."
"She isn't joking and she knows it."
"She just doesn't like being called out."- frustratedfren
"Hooters is sexist, misogynistic and ought to have been left in the 1970's where it belongs, but your roommate is still being a huge a**hole for the way she is going about this."
"Ask her to explain the 'joke'."
"NTA."- Sorry_Opportunity_81
"NTA."
"She's pouting because she thought everyone would join in and give you shit too, and that you'd just stand there and take it, and instead you stood up for yourself and no one agreed with her because they actually seem to respect and like you, making her look like the a**hole that she is."-Worth_Raspberry_11
"I'm not a fan of hooters, but I am a fan of women earn a living."
"Your friend is not being a friend because passive aggression is insidious and toxic behavior."
"Your faux pas isn't where you work, but who you choose to associate with."
"Nothing about her behavior screams 'friend' to me."
"Does she always disrespect you like this when you do anything that she doesn't approve of?"
"Don't you find that weird?"- IrreverantBard
Considering that Ivy doesn't ever need to go to Hooters herself, one can't help but wonder what she was trying to accomplish by constantly making life more difficult for the OP.
Who, she should remember, was only working there to help cover her share of the rent.
Then too, even if Ivy was "only joking", the fact that she was well aware that the OP "couldn't take a joke" and continued telling them regardless is very telling indeed.
Woman Irate After 'Misogynistic' Date 'Insults' Her In Front Of Waiter For Interrupting Him
While dating is supposed to be fun and the best way to find new love, some people are just not meant to date each other.
Fortunately, people can get out of dating someone, and no reason is too small or petty, members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit pointed out.
Redditor Mental_Driver_6134 had been dating a guy on and off for over a year, and while things were okay, there hadn't been a particular reason to make the relationship more serious.
When they went on a date, and the guy publicly insulted her for interrupting him and speaking out of turn, the Original Poster (OP) was not certain it was worth going on another date with him or continuing to string this situationship along.
She asked the sub:
At a restaurant, the OP's date wasn't being clear while speaking with the waiter.
"I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall."
"When the waiter came to take the order, he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically, he didn't want too much garlic in chili burnt garlic noodles."
"Everything was going fine, but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really getting to the main point, which was less garlic."
"I chimed in and casually said, 'We just want less garlic.'"
"But I couldn't even complete the sentence before he said to me in front of the waiter, 'If you're gonna cut me off like this, I'm not giving any orders, okay?!' in the rudest way possible."
The moment ruined the date for the OP.
"I just went quiet after that. He quickly realized that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that, 'Okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards.'"
"I was really p**sed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene."
"On our way back home, he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquette and that I should have at least said, 'Can I give my opinion here?- before cutting him off."
"It kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and 'The Man,' I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order."
"The whole tone was so misogynistic."
"He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly, which I didn't mind as basic banter, and I told him that there are forks and spoons kept here; it's not necessary to use the chopsticks (he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks)."
"When the noodles came, he said that we could use forks then, and I was like, 'No, why not use chopsticks here, as well? You should watch more anime, maybe,' and he then went on to brag about having been to many five-star restaurants, which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any 'real experience.'"
The OP was over it by the end of the conversation.
"I was too exhausted from this; it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance."
"Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing and that he won't shout again, but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all)."
"Also, sidenote: He's like four and a half years older than me. I met him last September and on and off many times with a few months of minimal contact. These offs end with him acting as if nothing happened."
"This incident was the calmest he's behaved if compared to past situations, so you can guess what the worst may have looked like."
"I only gave him a chance cause he was trying to control his anger issues. But I think you can't expect a 29-year-old to fix the misogyny."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she was right to be upset.
"He was s**tty, but it was her fault; I just love that. NOR."
"If she hadn’t interrupted his highness, none of this would have happened. Why can’t she just admit it?"
"I’m so glad I’m long out of the dating pool. There is no bar anymore; it’s what can I get from you while I treat you like s**t. Man, the good old days of dating are long over." - Shadow4summer
"NOR. The 'I'm the man' line revealed everything OP needs to know about him. He couldn't handle a simple, harmless interruption, so he tried to humiliate her in public to regain control. Taking his own dumpling dive while trying to act superior is peak karma, honestly." - virelaczi
"NOR! If a 'small' man tries to put you down in public on a date, run the eff away! It doesn’t matter if it’s two dates, two months, or two YEARS!" - Delicious_Winner_819
"Not overreacting, this man is clearly insecure and controlling. Not to mention a misogynist. Instead of being on and off, just be off. It's better to be single than to be with someone who tries to make you feel less than." - curiouscuriel
"'I know better than you.'"
"Should tell you ALL you need to know about this 'man'. Go and find somebody who will treat you as their person... and not an object. That is what is not sitting right with you."
"NOR. And bloody run!!! I wouldn't even give him the time of day after an experience like that." - pootling_1976
"My ex would constantly say, 'You're interrupting me.' I was not. He was a psycho."
"This is how it went, for example:"
"Him: I am ordering chicken and snow peas and white rice [long pause]."
"I start to say ANYTHING (the place is on effing fire!), and he would berate me, 'You interrupted me, you ALWAYS do that, I can never speak, blah, blah blah.'"
"I say, 'Lucifer (what I call him behind his back), you took a long pause. I waited, and I thought you were done.'"
"Then THAT becomes a pile of s**t convo, more berating... He was so manipulative and verbally abusive; I cannot even scratch the surface here."
"So, no. That date is a Lucifer, and you should never even speak to him again." - Belmontisnowhideous
Others pointed out that the OP didn't have to keep dating him if this is how she felt about him.
"Great news! You do not need to spend any more time with this guy." - Blue-flash
"If you marry this guy, this behavior will only get worse. He doesn’t respect women, and he probably never will. I'd stop dating him now before you waste more time." - Additional-Start9455
"NOR. Don’t waste another minute of your life on an angry man. He’ll get worse, not better. Just find a guy who doesn’t need fixing." - Broad_Pomegranate141
"I mean, him being an insufferable smug jerk is not a small thing."
"'I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off.' But this strikes me as an elephant in the room."
"It isn't often that good, healthy relationships are on and off again. And given how profoundly rude he was, how immediately he doubled down, how condescending, etc., I can't help but think this isn't the first time he's been gross as a partner."
"NOR, but really ask yourself what you're doing here. This can't be the life you hoped for, and you know he isn't going to change as well." - Traeyze
"NOR. There's no way to live with this kind of man, honestly, and OP should definitely leave this guy."
"A year of on and off with kind of behavior is basically a preview of the next ten." - NoEar4226
"NOR. I've broken up with guys like that by telling them they were right all along. I'm just not smart enough for him. He deserves someone on his own level..."
"Hopefully he picks up the hint and does some self-reflection for his future dates (with other women)."
"For what it's worth, I have two post-graduate degrees." - PomeloPepper
"When someone treats you like s**t, you do NOT have to stay with them, no matter how long you've been together."
"Unfortunately, my therapist had to explain this to me a short time after I started seeing her because my parents never gave me any autonomy to make my own decisions. I didn’t know that I could just leave places that I didn’t feel safe in because it wasn’t an option for me until then."
"Some people do need to be given permission to do what’s best for them because of the way they were treated by their parents."
"Hopefully she does leave him because he sucks, and with the way he treats her, things will likely get worse for her." - Accomplished_Dig284
We've all heard the advice to not cry over spilled milk, but clearly, this date must fuss over garlicky noodles.
To the subReddit, it wasn't worth continuing to date a man who clearly had anger and control issues, especially given everything going on in society right now.
The OP would be better off staying single for a while or dating someone new, preferably someone who respects their differences about noodles and chopsticks.