One would think that the fact that we live in an age where one’s sexual orientation can’t stop people from marrying the one that they love is a fact only to be celebrated.
But sadly, there are still people all over the world who firmly believe that marriage is something that is only for a man and a woman.
Which sadly often sees LGBTQIA+ couples notice that several family members chose to skip their weddings for that very reason.
Redditor Proud-Amoeba1832 thought that her family had finally come to accept the fact that she was a lesbian, and that her upcoming wedding might be conflict free.
Until the original poster (OP) discovered that their sister, who was also her maid of honor, felt otherwise, feeling there was only one appropriate solution.
Worried that they might have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for uninviting my sister/maid of honor to my wedding one month before?”
The OP explained how some unsettling discoveries regarding her sister resulted in her losing her position, as well as her invitation, to her upcoming wedding.
“I, 26 F[emale], am a lesbian woman who is getting married to my fiancé, Anna, in about a month in late September.”
“Anna and I have dated for years and we are extremely in love.”
“I come from an extreme religious family who didn’t accept us in our university years but many of my family members eventually grew supportive once realizing I wouldn’t change.”
“I’ve had to cut relations with a few cousins or aunts because of their constant frustration to our relationship, but my central family life with my parents and two sisters has always been fine.”
“As I mentioned above, I have 2 sisters, Claire and Kim.”
“Kim has always been extremely supportive with opening arms, and she herself is bisexual.”
“She isn’t out yet.”
“Claire, however, is pretty neutral on it.”
“She doesn’t talk about my relationship and sometimes changes the topic on it.”
“She was also raised in the religious surroundings.”
“Me and Claire have always been closer than Kim and I, and I even asked her to be my maid of honor alongside one of my best friends.”
“Until a few days ago, she never expressed disapproval towards Anna and I’s marriage.”
“A week ago, Kim came up to me and showed me some messages Claire was sending her group chat.”
“Kim was in one of the same group chats as Claire from university.”
“Claire had been chatting between her group chat saying this wedding concept was stupid.”
“The messages started off as plain jokes but eventually got worse calling me and Anna ‘sinners’ and ‘God would send us to hell and let us burn there’.”
“She even had a few messages calling us the f-slur but formed them as jokes like ‘This generation’s become too accepting’ or (quoted) ‘I’m the only one in my family who knows what’s right anymore’.”
“Upon this, I immediately informed Claire she wouldn’t be showing up at our wedding.”
“Claire was saying I overreacted because what happened in HER group chat is HER business only, and she never even said anything to me.”
“My mom is telling me I overreacted a bit, and to just let Claire calm down, but my dad is on my side along with Kim and Anna.”
“Was I overreacting over a few texts?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was well within her rights to revoke her sister’s maid of honor title, as well as her wedding invitation, and was not the a**hole for doing so.
Everyone agreed that after the OP’s sister revealed her true feelings regarding her impending nuptials, she didn’t deserve to be in attendance at the wedding.
“NTA a homophobe in private is a homophobe all the same.”- SuddenWhole
“NTA.”
“Gay woman here with sisters.”
“If one of my sisters did this, I would immediately go no contact.”
“I would say something to the effect of, ‘it is clear that this is what you really think of me, and I have no room for that in my life’.”
“It doesn’t matter how I know you are a bigot, I know, and there is no going back for me’.”
“And I would cut ties with anyone who supported her.”
“I’m so sorry, OP.”- ChakraMama318
“NTA.”
“And who gets invited to YOUR wedding and stays a part of YOUR wedding party is YOUR business only.”- iamconfusedaf_
“A semi-closeted bigot is still a bigot.”
“I would not want her at my wedding, or in my life honestly.”
“NTA.”- ScreamInHeart
“NTA.”
“Why would anyone want someone at their wedding who you knew was not only against it, but was against it to the extent that they also wished eternal damnation on the people getting married!”
“My guess is that her presence will not be missed.”
“Hope you have a great wedding OP and that you guys have a happy and bright future together.”-DimTimfromKew
“NTA.”
“You are actually doing Claire a huge favor by excluding her from the wedding.”
“Being ‘the only one in the family who knows what’s right anymore’, it would be a terrible ordeal for her, having to watch ‘sinners’ pave their way to hell.”- pulp_thilo
“NTA.”
“You’re not an asshole.”
“I’m queer, and this would make me feel very betrayed if someone was nice to me in person, but really didn’t think being queer was ok on a group chat.”
“That is highly messed up and very offensive she thinks how people are born is a sin-wtf.”
“Also do yourself a huge favor and un-invite any other fools that think gay marriage is wrong.”
“What are they attending for, free food!?”
“You deserve to have a great wedding day, free of stress and misinformed people.”
“Positive vibes only!”- Wonderful_Ad9044
“NTA.”
“Your sister is a bigot.”
“It doesn’t matter if she said them to you or not.”
“Only reason she is upset is because it will be glaringly obvious that she did something wrong to be disinvited so close to the ceremony, and word of this is likely to get around.”
“She doesn’t support your marriage, but doesn’t want people knowing it.”- Blake_Raven
“NTA.”
“It’s her opinion, not just trying to impress some people or else she wouldn’t have used such intense words.”
“Kim did right to show you and should show your mum as well.”
“You don’t have to include anyone at your wedding.”
“It’s YOURS and ANNAS wedding, not Claires and your mums.”
“You do you, girl.”- Mondfairy
“NTA.”
“But claire sure is the AH.”- Korezen
“NTA.”
“Your wedding should be a day where people surround you with joy and well wished, not where you worry someone is talking about you negatively behind your back.”
“If your sister is bigoted and doesn’t understand that we do not control who we love or are attracted to.”
“My daughter is a lesbian and I look forward to dancing at her wedding someday!”
“If I ever found out that someone who talked that way was at the wedding I would show them the door myself!”- AdEmbarrassed8902
“NTA.”
“Defending yourself against homophobia never makes you TA.”- triggerhappypoptarts
“NTA, at all.”
“A wedding is a celebration of two people’s love for each other.”
“Anyone who isn’t there to celebrate that love, shouldn’t be there at all.”
“She obviously disrespects and judges your love, so she loses the privilege of being at a celebration of it.”
“A secret homophobe is still a homophobe.”- DamnIGottaJustSay
“NTA.”
“Claire is not denying she said those ugly things.”
“She is denying your right to be upset about it.”
“She’s the a**hole.”
“You now know what she really thinks about you and people like you.”
“It’s hateful.”
“Why would you still want her at your wedding?”
“Your mom is standing up for Claire because she agrees with her views.”
“Look at what you shared in your post.”
“How could you possibly be the asshole for not wanting someone who thinks about you this way to be your MOH or even attend your wedding, which will be between two ‘sinners’ in Claire’s view?!”
“She essentially wrote that the brides to be should burn in hell for being lesbians.”
“How awful.”- OneTwoWee000
“NTA.”
“You deserve to be happy on your wedding day, surrounded by loved ones who are just as happy for you.”
“If she can’t get with the program, then she doesn’t need to be there!”
“You did the right thing for you and your fiancé.”- Ok_Fall3463
It’s heartbreaking that the OP’s sister felt that way, and even worse that she felt that way in secret, behind her sister’s back.
Maybe being persona non grata at her sister’s wedding will be just the wake up call she needs to reflect on her past behavior and her conduct going forward.
Here’s hoping the OP’s wedding day is full of love and acceptance, as it deserves to be.