When someone announces that they are expecting a child, it’s usually cause for celebration.
However, some might argue that whether or not this is good news depends entirely on the person and/or situation.
As some people might think the expecting parent or couple is not ready, or in some extreme cases, not qualified to be parents.
While most people keep these opinions to themselves, others don’t have as much trouble letting their opinion be known.
The sister of Redditor homewrong44 recently announced to her friends and family that she was expecting twins.
Upon learning the news, the original poster (OP) did not rush to offer congratulations but instead gave her honest reaction.
A reaction that her sister, as well as the rest of her family, did not appreciate one bit.
Concerned she went too far, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for saying ‘Again?’ after my sister announced that she’s pregnant with twins.”
The OP explained why she couldn’t quite bring herself to offer her congratulations when her sister announced another pregnancy.
“My (21 F[emale]) sister (32 F) has been married to her husband 33M for 8 years.”
“They already have 6 kids total, the last one born 5 months ago.”
“Yesterday, my sister had announced that she’s 3 months pregnant with twins, and while everyone was congratulating her, I said out loud, ‘oh my god, again??'”
“Can’t your stupid husband leave you alone??”
“I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but it slipped out, and my sister looked at me angrily and literally dragged me into another room and asked, ‘Why tf did you say that?'”
“I told her that she and her husband have been pregnant every year for the last 8 years and that she needs to take a break.”
“I was worried about her having so many babies in such a short time, and I didn’t want anything bad happening to her.”
“She then said, ‘How about YOU leave us alone and worry about your own sh*t?”
“This is MY life, so f*ck off’.”
“My mother told me that I should apologize for being rude, but I told her that I won’t apologize for showing concern.”
“But now I just can’t help thinking that maybe I was being an a**hole and sticking my nose into other people’s business.”
“I was just worried, but maybe I was being a jerk.”
“I do babysit my sister’s kids sometimes, and all 6 of them at the same time whenever they need me to and if I’m available.”
“They pay me $30-$50/hour, but their kids are pretty destructive, and they don’t respect other adults like they’re supposed to, so it’s a full chore watching after them.”
“I’m aware that the ‘stupid husband” comment was inappropriate, but I have almost no filter, and my stupid mouth says sh*t before my brain can stop it.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community largely agreed that the OP was, indeed, the a**hole for her behavior, even if most people could understand where she was coming from.
While nearly everyone agreed that the OP was out of line for what she said and should definitely apologize, they also were equally surprised, puzzled, and concerned by the OP’s sister having so many children so close together.
“To be fair, I’m not sure I wouldn’t at least say the ‘AGAIN??!!’ part out loud.”
“With 6 kids already, including a newborn, how do they even find the time or energy to have sex?”-Unfair_Advantage_384
“Pregnant two months after giving birth?”
“Her poor body.”- Ecstatic_Produce9920
“So rude, do it again next year.”- ilgxrs
“Ok, I admit it. I laughed when I read OP’s post.”
“I mean, you probably blurted out loud what a lot of people would be thinking.”
“But yes OP, YTA, and your mother and sister are right. It’s really not your business, and it was a rude thing to say.”
“You are still very young, and I’m sure they will forgive you.”
“You might want also to explain that you were NOT ill-wishing these new babies and that you will welcome them with love!”- busyshrew
“YTA.”
“Rude and A**hole behavior, but somewhat understandable.”
“What is wrong with you?”
“You said this out loud and still think you may not be the a**hole?”
‘Get out of here with that nonsense.”- tubesweaterguru
“YTA.”
“But it needed to be said.”
“You are a good AH.”- glamourcrow
“YTA.”
“Look, I don’t fault you for thinking that.”
“All of my SILs are prolific Mormon housewives.”
“I have so many nieces and nephews it’s obscene.”
“I and my wife make jokes about the eighth kid rappeling down the umbilical cord or falling out when we’re alone together.”
“In front of the rest of the family?”
“We offer our congratulations.”
“She could be perfectly healthy.”
“Sure, maybe not, but she is right. That is none of your concern.”
“If she’s not having massive issues with the pregnancies and her husband has never given you abusive vibes, their incessant breeding is really none of your business.”
“Just apologize and explain that you were initially concerned but now realize that it’s none of your business.”
“Maybe throw in that you were being biased because you could never have so many children unless something hinky were going on, but you realize that your sister isn’t you and that you’re just happy to know that she’s happy and healthy and really feel bad about embarrassing her and yourself in front of the family.”- beanfiddler
“I mean, yeah, you know YTA.”
“But as Marge Simpson said once: ‘Well, yes, it’s true, but she still shouldn’t say it.'”- FixingWaffles
“YTA.”
“That said, an a**hole can be right.”- frygod
“People who have this many kids are selfish for so many reasons.”
“So while I agree with you, and think it’s kind of funny, a very, ever so slight, YTA for saying the quiet part out loud.”- ResponsibleSpite1332
Others, however, agreed that the OP was not the a**hole, feeling that she only said what her sister needed to hear.
“Sorry, she’s pregnant AGAIN, with twins no less, only five months after giving birth.”
“Holy f*ck NTA, does your sister just not care about her health?”
“She’s about to have a very rough delivery.”- ShadowLugia141
“NTA.”
“We as a society need to move away from this idea that parents are above reproach.”
“That’s too many children to care for in today’s society adequately.”
“You could have been more tactful, but someone needs to think about the wellbeing of her kids here.”- Aardeehar
“NTA.”
“I feel you, girl. 6 kids + 2 coming….omg.”
“Sounds like hell to me.”- Any_Zone_8920
“NTA.”
“While it was an a-hole thing to say.”
“They will have eight children.”
“Eight.”
“You can’t raise eight children without relying on everyone else around you for their time and money.”
“Someone needed to say it. I’m sure everyone else is just thinking it and talking behind her back.”-Chemical_Act_7648
After reading the comments from the Reddit community, the OP returned to offer an update on where things were between her and her sister.
“I apologized to my sister for insulting her husband and making that rude comment, but I told her that I’m still worried about her having so many kids back to back and that just concerned in general about her health and well-being.”
“She actually forgave me, and she said it’s because 1. I’m her youngest sister, 2. She knows about my problem with keeping my thoughts to myself and that I’m working on myself, and 3. She knows that I am concerned for her, and she appreciates it, but she has assured me that she’s fine and said that this pregnancy wasn’t planned, and her husband plans on getting a vasectomy because they both want this pregnancy to be the last.”
“For those asking in the comments, she and her husband can afford to have kids.”
“He runs a very successful business, and she is still co-partner with her best friend in a company that they both started before she got married.”
“How she manages to juggle being a full-time mom and work here and there is beyond me, but she does.”
“That’s why I babysit sometimes when the nanny isn’t available 24/7.”
“Her husband was the one who initially wanted a big family, and my sister just went along with the idea.”
“But that’s their business.”
There’s no denying that the OP’s behavior was insensitive and way out of line.
However, it also shouldn’t be ignored that it wasn’t coming out of a place of malice but genuine concern for her sister.
Thankfully though, as it seems that the OP’s sister is more than capable of raising her many children, it seems that the OP will keep these opinions to herself from now on and remain on good, loving terms with her sister and her very large family.