When more than one person lives in a house, hilarity will ensue.
Roommate situations are fraught with mess.
You can't control everything.
Case in point...
Redditor aggressive_adderall wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
"AITA for 'flashing' my best friend's boyfriend?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I (F[emale] 23) usually live alone."
"However my best friend Susie (F 24) and her boyfriend Tom (M[ale] 28) recently had some issues with their living situation."
"And so I offered for them to live with me for a while."
"They gratefully accepted, and have been living with me for a few weeks now."
"Because of the fact that I previously lived alone, I had got into the habit of wearing minimal or no clothing around the house."
"Obviously when Susie and Tom moved in I had to adjust to wearing more clothes around the house, out of respect for them."
"Well, a few nights ago I slipped up."
"I went to take a shower but realized afterwards I had left my towel in my bedroom."
"It's a common mistake I make due to absent-mindedness and, like I said, I'm used to living alone."
"I didn't want to get back into my dirty clothes, and it was late so I thought Susie and Tom would be asleep anyway."
"I decided to just chance it and go and grab a towel from my room."
"Unfortunately though I ran into Tom in the corridor, much to my embarrassment."
"He immediately looked away and, aside from it being pretty awkward, I didn't really see it as a big deal."
"I forgot about it and went to sleep afterwards."
"However, the next day Susie blew up on me, demanding to know why I was walking around the house naked and 'flashing' her boyfriend."
"I was shocked by this."
"I explained to her it wasn't like that at all and there was no sexual motive behind it, it was just a careless mistake on my part."
"She insisted I should've 'texted them beforehand to let them know I would be walking around naked.'"
"And also that I should've let her know about the incident immediately after."
"I'll be honest, I didn't really think to do either of those things."
"She said I was disrespectful, that I had betrayed her trust, and that I was an AH in how I handled the situation."
"AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It's a tricky situation.
Let's hear some thoughts...
"NTA. This is literally your residence, and you're allowing your friend and her boyfriend to stay there."
"You didn't do this intentionally, and it sounds like Tom was a gentleman about the whole thing. Susie sounds insecure AF." ~ trashpanda44224422
"I've been on several threads now and seen this joke being fanned around a lot."
"I wonder how many here will catch wind of what it means."
"Also, nothing but facts from trashpanda44224422."
"And OP, her insecurities are NOT your problem."
"She's living in your house, is she paying rent?"
"Helping with anything?"
"Well, even if she is, your name is on the place - you're allowed to do the damn Macarena in all your nude glory bathed in the moonlight if it so pleases you. NTA." ~ Geek_Confessions
"The only response here is, 'I am so sorry that you feel betrayed and disrespected.'"
'"I understand that you can't comfortably continue to live here in light of my behavior.'"
'"So I won't be at all offended if you think you need to move out.'"
'"Don't worry - I'll even help you pack so you can leave more quickly and find somewhere safer.'"
"And then literally don't take no for an answer."
"She and her fiancé need to move out immediately for their own peace if mind."
"You don't know when you might forget your towel again, and you can't let her take that risk." ~ biscuitboi967
"NTA, but if you wanted to be one you could just text Susie every time you remove a piece of clothing."
"'Hey just so you know, I'm changing for the gym. I'll be partially naked in my room.'"
"Update: 'I'm done changing!" ~ 7hr0wn
"NTA - Susie's weird jealousy issues are her problem and not yours."
"Texting that you're going to be naked? Really?" ~ WilyEngineer
"If she didn't have a towel in the bathroom, would she have her phone? Maybe not."
"In any case she didn't think they were awake."
"If she thought they were asleep, should she have shouted a warning?"
"It was an accident and really no big deal. NTA." ~ Bicoastalgigi
A different thought...
"This might be an uncommon opinion, but light ESH besides the boyfriend."
"While she is definitely overreacting quite a bit and being kinda unreasonable."
"I think there could've been other ways you went about it..."
"Were the clothes absolutely disgusting?"
"If not, you won't immediately be dirty again if you just put them back on for the walk to your room."
"Could you not just text them asking, 'hey you up?' to see if you could either avoid them or have one of them bring you a towel?"
"Could you really not hear the boyfriend walking towards you and either run or shout out a warning?"
"It wasn't like you forgot you had roommates, you forgot your towel."
"It's an honest mistake, but there were better solutions that could've saved a very uncomfortable situation."
"Like sure, you didn't care and just brushed it off, but what if the boyfriend felt very uncomfortable?"
"Put yourself in his shoes, no one wants to accidentally see someone naked, especially their roommate." ~ unseriouscats
Reddit continued...
"NTA it was an accident."
"Tell her you'll make sure it never happens again by asking her to leave." ~ Dinosaur_Doctor
"NTA. Sounds mortifying for the two people actually involved."
"His girlfriend wasn't involved and nothing happened that was an actual issue regarding their own relationship."
"Maybe leave some extra towels in your bathroom? Lol." ~ Kathalysa
"NTA. It was an honest mistake. That's all. Susie needs to relax."
"It's too controlling to expect you to be texting them when you're naked and that you should have told her when you accidentally flashed him."
"I see no harm no foul to her and, if I was in Susie's place, I would have laugh my a** off." ~ SimpCaptain23
"Susie is totally TA for expecting you to text 'I'm naked now guys' like that is just weird."
"I'd be more uncomfortable receiving that text than i would be getting accidentally flashed."
"However, you DO have people in your house."
"And you mentioned you were AWARE that they were there, it's not like you forgot."
"You assumed they'd be asleep."
"But better to be safe than sorry."
"I would've probably just bitten the bullet and put the dirty clothes back on."
"Although it was unintentional I'd say it was a little disrespectful and unthoughtful of you to walk around naked with guests in your home."
"Susie is overreacting."
"BUT you created a hella awkward situation for tom that could've been avoided."
"But it was a mistake. NTA." ~ yellowbunnythrowaway
"NTA- Your are allowed to quickly run to your room to grab a towel at night when it is assumed people are asleep."
"You are doing your friends a favor." ~ lostalldoubt86
"A bit of a different take but I'm going with NAH."
"While you probably should've just put your dirty clothes on to get the towel you didn't, you made a mistake (and hopefully apologized to the bf.)"
"Is your friend overreacting?"
"Yeah probably but I would probably also feel a little weird if my friend was fully naked in front of my bf and we all lived together."
"No one's really an ah here but you should all probably just apologize to each other and move on, it'll make living together a lot easier." ~ anon689936
"NTA. It's your house and you were nice enough to let them stay instead of them paying for a hotel or being homeless."
"It's a body, one looks similar to another and you weren't trying to force him to look at you naked."
"Your friend sounds insecure and immature, she shouldn't have blown up at you."
"If that had been my friend I would have asked her to move out." ~ Harmonia_PASB
"That sounds very controlling for a guest."
"Not sure what state you're in but in some states people are considered tenants after awhile and you can't ask them to leave anymore."
"You'd have to evict them."
"I'd be careful letting someone like that stay with me long term to be honest."
"She doesn't seem to respect that it's your place. NTA." ~ PsilocybinK
"NAH - I think it's understandable your friend would be upset, but your momentary lapse is also understandable."
"I hope you can smooth this over and stay friends." ~ MCDexX
OP... Reddit understands.
Sometimes you have to be naked in your own home.
Accidents happen.
Maybe you and Susie and Tom can read through this together and move on.
"Move on" being the operative phrase for Susie and Tom.
Humiliated Redditor Ditches Friend's Birthday After She Publicly Mocks Them In Front Of Everyone
Fake people tend to show their true colors during pivotal moments, like weddings and major celebrations.
But when they want an audience to hurt someone else, it takes total sense that they would be called out in front of everyone, as agreed by members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit.
Redditor HollyyGinger went to their close friend's birthday party, expecting to have a good time and celebrate their loved one's special day.
But when their close friend made several mocking comments about them, and the party laughed along with them, the Original Poster (OP) took that as an indication of the state of their friendship and left the birthday party early.
They asked the sub:
The OP was excited to celebrate their close friend's birthday.
"One of my close friends had a birthday dinner last weekend, and I was genuinely excited to go."
"I helped her organize a few things beforehand, bought her a gift, and even rearranged some plans because I wanted to be there for her."
But the birthday dinner did not go at all how the OP expected.
"During dinner, though, she started making little jokes about me in front of everyone."
"At first, I laughed along because I didn't want to make things awkward on her birthday."
"But she kept going. She joked about dating life, brought up an embarrassing story I had told her privately, and made another comment about how I'm ''way too sensitive' sometimes."
"People were laughing, and I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but honestly, I felt pretty humiliated."
The OP tried to ask their friend to change the direction of the rest of the party.
"I quietly asked her when we were alone if she could stop making me the joke of the evening."
"She rolled her eyes and said I was taking everything too seriously and that everyone knew she was joking."
"I went back to the table for a while because I really didn't want to ruin her birthday."
"But then she made another joke about me, so I decided I'd had enough. I congratulated her again, said goodbye to everyone, and went home without making a scene."
The OP's friend tried to blame them for how the evening turned out.
"The next morning, she texted me, saying she was hurt that I left early and that several people noticed."
"She said that I made her feel like she had done something horrible when she was 'just having fun.' But her having fun was more of a public embarrassment to me."
"Now I feel guilty, because it was her birthday, and maybe I could have just ignored it for another hour or two."
"I wasn't trying to punish her or make the night about me. I just didn't want to sit there smiling while someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I had specifically asked her to stop."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she didn't have to stay at a party where she didn't feel welcome.
"She was having fun. You were not having fun."
"You’re not overreacting. You told her it was hurting you, and she kept doing it because hurting you was entertaining for her. She is not a good friend." - Dunquinn-
"I remember when I was really little, a bunch of adults were laughing at me as I cried."
"I cried to my mom, 'Stop laughing at me,' to which she replied, 'We aren’t laughing at you; we're laughing with you,' while giggling."
"My response was something I stand by to this day: 'Then why am I the only one crying?!'"
"It’s only funny if the person who’s being teased is laughing too. You weren’t laughing. It wasn’t funny; it was cruel. NOR." - XSmartypants
"She’s a bully. It wasn’t 'more like 'it was publicly embarrassing. It WAS publicly embarrassing."
"Then she tells you that SHE is embarrassed because YOU left early. That's bulls**t."
"NOR. Drop her." - WTH_JFG
"NOR. They make jokes about someone's privacy to humiliate that person. Anyone who would use info that was shared in confidence to get a laugh is an abuser. You don't do that, especially to a close friend, without the intent to hurt that person." - BungenessKrabb
"Would it have been fun if you did the same? Start telling her darkest secrets?"
"She made you into a punchline for other people’s entertainment."
"You told her to stop, and she didn’t; now she’s the victim?"
"NOR."
"But also, some people need to feel it to believe it. I hope you go to the next gathering with a few stories of your own and don’t let her rewrite the narrative." - beached_not_broken
"I’ve had it happen by my 'best friend' at the time, only it was in a professional setting event. Very personal details only she knew, all spilled for her amusement, embarrassing me in front of colleagues."
"NOR, OP. As you did, I left the gathering earlier than expected. My 'friend' called the next day asking why I left so early. I told her what she had said and done and how humiliated I felt."
"Her 'apology' was that flippant version that shows no remorse, like, 'Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.'"
"Over the subsequent years, she managed to alienate and burn bridges with most of those same people we were gathered with."
"I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. Anyone who thinks you were 'too sensitive' has no empathy and 'friends' like that don’t deserve your time." - Hungry_Tank9182
"NOR. She was being a jerk to you, and she was expecting you to just take it and not say anything or defend yourself."
"Because they think it's sooo funny to mock others, but I bet if the roles were reversed, she would be offended and upset."
"Honestly, you deserve better friends. I'm sorry you had to deal with this."
"I would've left and blocked her." - Cryslove
Others urged the OP to stop thinking about the event and let that friendship go.
"That was the point of her fun! Humiliating you with an audience!"
"Sharing something deeply personal, told in confidence? Immediate dealbreaker."
"She is not (and likely never was) your friend. Friends do not treat friends with such disrespect. Block her, and go no contact. She brings nothing good to your life, and she’s not worthy of your energy and time."
"NOR." - MizPeachyKeen
"It’s called bullying. She is not your friend. Friends don’t humiliate their true friends, or tell them 'they are too sensitive.'"
"That is what bullies do. She keeps you around to put you down and make herself look or feel better."
"Her actions, attitude, and behavior are those of an immature high schooler. She could actually be jealous of you and not want one or all of the following: you to succeed, have more friends, feel better about yourself, look better, etc."
"Please slowly distance yourself, find new hobbies and activities with more mature, well-rounded, healthy people." - Freeling_Fab_U_lous
"How DARE you spoil her fun; didn't you know that part of your gift was letting her make you the butt of her jokes? (sarcastic comment)"
"What an awful person. No one should need to put others down to raise themselves up. She doesn't deserve the title of friend, to be honest. You showed much more grace than I would have managed." - tphatmcgee
"She was using you as her punching bag to make the others attending laugh. Probably thinking you’d just take it. That’s not a good friend. NOR." - Additional-Start9455
"'Someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I asked them to stop.' NOR."
"First, you shouldn't have had to ask her to stop because a friend wouldn't have started in the first place. One of her 'jokes' was about you being sensitive, so she knew you didn't like it and did it anyway."
"Second, you asked her privately to stop, because you didn't want to embarrass her. Think about that. You didn't want to embarrass her. But she couldn't show you the same consideration, even after being asked to stop."
"That's not how I treat my friends, and I suspect that's not how you treat your friends, either." - calminthedark
"I would have answered her text that she's a s**tty friend and to f**k off. You have class."
"I probably would have made a comment at dinner that I asked her to stop with the insults."
"NOR. You did everything right." - Particular-King218
The subReddit was disappointed on the OP's behalf that a friendship they were so committed to, they were excited to celebrate their friend's birthday and even helped plan the event, came apart at their expense, and on very public terms.
If the friend didn't want to be "embarrassed," maybe she should have thought about how she was embarrassing others first.