When more than one person lives in a house, hilarity will ensue.
Roommate situations are fraught with mess.
You can't control everything.
Case in point...
Redditor aggressive_adderall wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
"AITA for 'flashing' my best friend's boyfriend?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I (F[emale] 23) usually live alone."
"However my best friend Susie (F 24) and her boyfriend Tom (M[ale] 28) recently had some issues with their living situation."
"And so I offered for them to live with me for a while."
"They gratefully accepted, and have been living with me for a few weeks now."
"Because of the fact that I previously lived alone, I had got into the habit of wearing minimal or no clothing around the house."
"Obviously when Susie and Tom moved in I had to adjust to wearing more clothes around the house, out of respect for them."
"Well, a few nights ago I slipped up."
"I went to take a shower but realized afterwards I had left my towel in my bedroom."
"It's a common mistake I make due to absent-mindedness and, like I said, I'm used to living alone."
"I didn't want to get back into my dirty clothes, and it was late so I thought Susie and Tom would be asleep anyway."
"I decided to just chance it and go and grab a towel from my room."
"Unfortunately though I ran into Tom in the corridor, much to my embarrassment."
"He immediately looked away and, aside from it being pretty awkward, I didn't really see it as a big deal."
"I forgot about it and went to sleep afterwards."
"However, the next day Susie blew up on me, demanding to know why I was walking around the house naked and 'flashing' her boyfriend."
"I was shocked by this."
"I explained to her it wasn't like that at all and there was no sexual motive behind it, it was just a careless mistake on my part."
"She insisted I should've 'texted them beforehand to let them know I would be walking around naked.'"
"And also that I should've let her know about the incident immediately after."
"I'll be honest, I didn't really think to do either of those things."
"She said I was disrespectful, that I had betrayed her trust, and that I was an AH in how I handled the situation."
"AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It's a tricky situation.
Let's hear some thoughts...
"NTA. This is literally your residence, and you're allowing your friend and her boyfriend to stay there."
"You didn't do this intentionally, and it sounds like Tom was a gentleman about the whole thing. Susie sounds insecure AF." ~ trashpanda44224422
"I've been on several threads now and seen this joke being fanned around a lot."
"I wonder how many here will catch wind of what it means."
"Also, nothing but facts from trashpanda44224422."
"And OP, her insecurities are NOT your problem."
"She's living in your house, is she paying rent?"
"Helping with anything?"
"Well, even if she is, your name is on the place - you're allowed to do the damn Macarena in all your nude glory bathed in the moonlight if it so pleases you. NTA." ~ Geek_Confessions
"The only response here is, 'I am so sorry that you feel betrayed and disrespected.'"
'"I understand that you can't comfortably continue to live here in light of my behavior.'"
'"So I won't be at all offended if you think you need to move out.'"
'"Don't worry - I'll even help you pack so you can leave more quickly and find somewhere safer.'"
"And then literally don't take no for an answer."
"She and her fiancé need to move out immediately for their own peace if mind."
"You don't know when you might forget your towel again, and you can't let her take that risk." ~ biscuitboi967
"NTA, but if you wanted to be one you could just text Susie every time you remove a piece of clothing."
"'Hey just so you know, I'm changing for the gym. I'll be partially naked in my room.'"
"Update: 'I'm done changing!" ~ 7hr0wn
"NTA - Susie's weird jealousy issues are her problem and not yours."
"Texting that you're going to be naked? Really?" ~ WilyEngineer
"If she didn't have a towel in the bathroom, would she have her phone? Maybe not."
"In any case she didn't think they were awake."
"If she thought they were asleep, should she have shouted a warning?"
"It was an accident and really no big deal. NTA." ~ Bicoastalgigi
A different thought...
"This might be an uncommon opinion, but light ESH besides the boyfriend."
"While she is definitely overreacting quite a bit and being kinda unreasonable."
"I think there could've been other ways you went about it..."
"Were the clothes absolutely disgusting?"
"If not, you won't immediately be dirty again if you just put them back on for the walk to your room."
"Could you not just text them asking, 'hey you up?' to see if you could either avoid them or have one of them bring you a towel?"
"Could you really not hear the boyfriend walking towards you and either run or shout out a warning?"
"It wasn't like you forgot you had roommates, you forgot your towel."
"It's an honest mistake, but there were better solutions that could've saved a very uncomfortable situation."
"Like sure, you didn't care and just brushed it off, but what if the boyfriend felt very uncomfortable?"
"Put yourself in his shoes, no one wants to accidentally see someone naked, especially their roommate." ~ unseriouscats
Reddit continued...
"NTA it was an accident."
"Tell her you'll make sure it never happens again by asking her to leave." ~ Dinosaur_Doctor
"NTA. Sounds mortifying for the two people actually involved."
"His girlfriend wasn't involved and nothing happened that was an actual issue regarding their own relationship."
"Maybe leave some extra towels in your bathroom? Lol." ~ Kathalysa
"NTA. It was an honest mistake. That's all. Susie needs to relax."
"It's too controlling to expect you to be texting them when you're naked and that you should have told her when you accidentally flashed him."
"I see no harm no foul to her and, if I was in Susie's place, I would have laugh my a** off." ~ SimpCaptain23
"Susie is totally TA for expecting you to text 'I'm naked now guys' like that is just weird."
"I'd be more uncomfortable receiving that text than i would be getting accidentally flashed."
"However, you DO have people in your house."
"And you mentioned you were AWARE that they were there, it's not like you forgot."
"You assumed they'd be asleep."
"But better to be safe than sorry."
"I would've probably just bitten the bullet and put the dirty clothes back on."
"Although it was unintentional I'd say it was a little disrespectful and unthoughtful of you to walk around naked with guests in your home."
"Susie is overreacting."
"BUT you created a hella awkward situation for tom that could've been avoided."
"But it was a mistake. NTA." ~ yellowbunnythrowaway
"NTA- Your are allowed to quickly run to your room to grab a towel at night when it is assumed people are asleep."
"You are doing your friends a favor." ~ lostalldoubt86
"A bit of a different take but I'm going with NAH."
"While you probably should've just put your dirty clothes on to get the towel you didn't, you made a mistake (and hopefully apologized to the bf.)"
"Is your friend overreacting?"
"Yeah probably but I would probably also feel a little weird if my friend was fully naked in front of my bf and we all lived together."
"No one's really an ah here but you should all probably just apologize to each other and move on, it'll make living together a lot easier." ~ anon689936
"NTA. It's your house and you were nice enough to let them stay instead of them paying for a hotel or being homeless."
"It's a body, one looks similar to another and you weren't trying to force him to look at you naked."
"Your friend sounds insecure and immature, she shouldn't have blown up at you."
"If that had been my friend I would have asked her to move out." ~ Harmonia_PASB
"That sounds very controlling for a guest."
"Not sure what state you're in but in some states people are considered tenants after awhile and you can't ask them to leave anymore."
"You'd have to evict them."
"I'd be careful letting someone like that stay with me long term to be honest."
"She doesn't seem to respect that it's your place. NTA." ~ PsilocybinK
"NAH - I think it's understandable your friend would be upset, but your momentary lapse is also understandable."
"I hope you can smooth this over and stay friends." ~ MCDexX
OP... Reddit understands.
Sometimes you have to be naked in your own home.
Accidents happen.
Maybe you and Susie and Tom can read through this together and move on.
"Move on" being the operative phrase for Susie and Tom.
Woman Irate After 'Misogynistic' Date 'Insults' Her In Front Of Waiter For Interrupting Him
While dating is supposed to be fun and the best way to find new love, some people are just not meant to date each other.
Fortunately, people can get out of dating someone, and no reason is too small or petty, members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit pointed out.
Redditor Mental_Driver_6134 had been dating a guy on and off for over a year, and while things were okay, there hadn't been a particular reason to make the relationship more serious.
When they went on a date, and the guy publicly insulted her for interrupting him and speaking out of turn, the Original Poster (OP) was not certain it was worth going on another date with him or continuing to string this situationship along.
She asked the sub:
At a restaurant, the OP's date wasn't being clear while speaking with the waiter.
"I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall."
"When the waiter came to take the order, he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically, he didn't want too much garlic in chili burnt garlic noodles."
"Everything was going fine, but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really getting to the main point, which was less garlic."
"I chimed in and casually said, 'We just want less garlic.'"
"But I couldn't even complete the sentence before he said to me in front of the waiter, 'If you're gonna cut me off like this, I'm not giving any orders, okay?!' in the rudest way possible."
The moment ruined the date for the OP.
"I just went quiet after that. He quickly realized that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that, 'Okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards.'"
"I was really p**sed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene."
"On our way back home, he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquette and that I should have at least said, 'Can I give my opinion here?- before cutting him off."
"It kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and 'The Man,' I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order."
"The whole tone was so misogynistic."
"He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly, which I didn't mind as basic banter, and I told him that there are forks and spoons kept here; it's not necessary to use the chopsticks (he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks)."
"When the noodles came, he said that we could use forks then, and I was like, 'No, why not use chopsticks here, as well? You should watch more anime, maybe,' and he then went on to brag about having been to many five-star restaurants, which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any 'real experience.'"
The OP was over it by the end of the conversation.
"I was too exhausted from this; it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance."
"Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing and that he won't shout again, but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all)."
"Also, sidenote: He's like four and a half years older than me. I met him last September and on and off many times with a few months of minimal contact. These offs end with him acting as if nothing happened."
"This incident was the calmest he's behaved if compared to past situations, so you can guess what the worst may have looked like."
"I only gave him a chance cause he was trying to control his anger issues. But I think you can't expect a 29-year-old to fix the misogyny."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she was right to be upset.
"He was s**tty, but it was her fault; I just love that. NOR."
"If she hadn’t interrupted his highness, none of this would have happened. Why can’t she just admit it?"
"I’m so glad I’m long out of the dating pool. There is no bar anymore; it’s what can I get from you while I treat you like s**t. Man, the good old days of dating are long over." - Shadow4summer
"NOR. The 'I'm the man' line revealed everything OP needs to know about him. He couldn't handle a simple, harmless interruption, so he tried to humiliate her in public to regain control. Taking his own dumpling dive while trying to act superior is peak karma, honestly." - virelaczi
"NOR! If a 'small' man tries to put you down in public on a date, run the eff away! It doesn’t matter if it’s two dates, two months, or two YEARS!" - Delicious_Winner_819
"Not overreacting, this man is clearly insecure and controlling. Not to mention a misogynist. Instead of being on and off, just be off. It's better to be single than to be with someone who tries to make you feel less than." - curiouscuriel
"'I know better than you.'"
"Should tell you ALL you need to know about this 'man'. Go and find somebody who will treat you as their person... and not an object. That is what is not sitting right with you."
"NOR. And bloody run!!! I wouldn't even give him the time of day after an experience like that." - pootling_1976
"My ex would constantly say, 'You're interrupting me.' I was not. He was a psycho."
"This is how it went, for example:"
"Him: I am ordering chicken and snow peas and white rice [long pause]."
"I start to say ANYTHING (the place is on effing fire!), and he would berate me, 'You interrupted me, you ALWAYS do that, I can never speak, blah, blah blah.'"
"I say, 'Lucifer (what I call him behind his back), you took a long pause. I waited, and I thought you were done.'"
"Then THAT becomes a pile of s**t convo, more berating... He was so manipulative and verbally abusive; I cannot even scratch the surface here."
"So, no. That date is a Lucifer, and you should never even speak to him again." - Belmontisnowhideous
Others pointed out that the OP didn't have to keep dating him if this is how she felt about him.
"Great news! You do not need to spend any more time with this guy." - Blue-flash
"If you marry this guy, this behavior will only get worse. He doesn’t respect women, and he probably never will. I'd stop dating him now before you waste more time." - Additional-Start9455
"NOR. Don’t waste another minute of your life on an angry man. He’ll get worse, not better. Just find a guy who doesn’t need fixing." - Broad_Pomegranate141
"I mean, him being an insufferable smug jerk is not a small thing."
"'I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off.' But this strikes me as an elephant in the room."
"It isn't often that good, healthy relationships are on and off again. And given how profoundly rude he was, how immediately he doubled down, how condescending, etc., I can't help but think this isn't the first time he's been gross as a partner."
"NOR, but really ask yourself what you're doing here. This can't be the life you hoped for, and you know he isn't going to change as well." - Traeyze
"NOR. There's no way to live with this kind of man, honestly, and OP should definitely leave this guy."
"A year of on and off with kind of behavior is basically a preview of the next ten." - NoEar4226
"NOR. I've broken up with guys like that by telling them they were right all along. I'm just not smart enough for him. He deserves someone on his own level..."
"Hopefully he picks up the hint and does some self-reflection for his future dates (with other women)."
"For what it's worth, I have two post-graduate degrees." - PomeloPepper
"When someone treats you like s**t, you do NOT have to stay with them, no matter how long you've been together."
"Unfortunately, my therapist had to explain this to me a short time after I started seeing her because my parents never gave me any autonomy to make my own decisions. I didn’t know that I could just leave places that I didn’t feel safe in because it wasn’t an option for me until then."
"Some people do need to be given permission to do what’s best for them because of the way they were treated by their parents."
"Hopefully she does leave him because he sucks, and with the way he treats her, things will likely get worse for her." - Accomplished_Dig284
We've all heard the advice to not cry over spilled milk, but clearly, this date must fuss over garlicky noodles.
To the subReddit, it wasn't worth continuing to date a man who clearly had anger and control issues, especially given everything going on in society right now.
The OP would be better off staying single for a while or dating someone new, preferably someone who respects their differences about noodles and chopsticks.