Being in a relationship for a long time means you find out a lot of things about another person. And one would think that after several years, you’d even learn that the other person has bodily functions.
However, Redditor Same_Step_881 found out her husband doesn’t appreciate her bodily functions. The original poster (OP) doesn’t understand what the big deal it.
On the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit, commenters judge OP for what happened between her and her husband.
But it’s just a simple thing that everyone does, right?
“AITA for being unladylike infront of my husband and farting?”
What does he mean by ‘unladylike’?
“This is going to sound ridiculous, but my husband is convinced I’ve done something wrong, so I just want to make sure I’m not overlooking something.”
“My husband (38M[ale]) and I (34F[emale]) have been married for 5 years. We’ve had a really successful marriage with few hiccups or significant arguments, but yesterday I was watching TV with him while I was resting my head on his lap when I farted”
“he asked, ‘Did you just fart…?’ I answered yes and he then said ‘Don’t do that in front of me. It’s nasty and unladylike.’” “I could sort of understand the nasty bit, but it was unladylike…?? In a grumpy mood, he got up from the couch and went into our bedroom by himself.”
“I attempted to speak with him and ask him to express why he was so unhappy, but all he said was that I needed to ‘learn some respect and act like a real lady around my husband.’”
“I’m still confused by what happened, so I’m writing this. AITA?”
After some of the comments started coming in, OP had to make an update to clear up a few things.
“Edit: Yes, the fart was accidental I didn’t do it on purpose. And yes he farts infront of me.”
OP doesn’t see why her husband would think this is such a big deal. On the other hand, he seems to be really offended that she would do something like that.
But does he have a point?
On Reddit, the users of the board judged OP for farting in front of her husband by including one of the following in their response:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Commenters agreed that OP was not wrong for just farting. The husband’s reaction was incredibly overblown.
Farting is a normal part of life, though one that’s better concealed in public. But if you’re just with your spouse, who you’ve been together with for five years, you’d think you’re safe to let out a little toot.
The majority of commenters said that OP was NTA.
“Being a woman doesn’t mean you stop having basic human needs, farting is normal and everyone does it.” – PinkGlasses1
“Um. He needs to check himself. NTA.”
“My wife hates when I fart, but that’s only because my farts could raise the dead. If she wants to let one rip, she can do so with NO permission needed from me.”
“I don’t own her. And he sure as hell doesn’t own you. You don’t need his permission to fart with impunity.”
“Let it rip, sister!” – rockhall73
“NTA. Omg, women fart.”
“Does he expect you to get up and go into the other room every time you have to fart? Does he not fart in front of you?”
“Farts happen while you’re sleeping. Does he expect you not to fart in bed while you’re asleep?”
“He needs to get over himself.” – miyuki_m
“Lol my husband actually does this. Will leave the room to fart or blow his nose. It’s so polite.”
“Haha so when he accidently lets one go he gets a totally embarrassed look. I just make a joke about the dang floor/chairs/couch squeeking again and needs to be oiled.”
“Haha. However, I totally just do it wherever I may be (but not purposefully on him). 🤷♂️” – AdventureKins
“I’m assuming you didn’t fart ON the guy and you had your head on his lap or something watching TV.”
“The next time he farts in your presence, which I’m willing to bet he does, inform him that he’s being ungentlemanly and leave the room in a huff.” – EdgeCityRed
“Info; he farts around you? I’m asking because this is a rule in my 9 years relationship. I don’t fart around him, he don’t fart around me.” – oyaschild
“Same here and my husband and I have been together 15 years. I know they are bodily functions, but do it in private.
“That’s like people talking about being together so long they sh** with the door open.”
“I don’t care how long I’ve been with my husband. I don’t want to see him sh** and he doesn’t want to see me sh**.”
“Same with farting.” – Jahjahsgirl0808
“If he just doesn’t want you farting around him because he doesn’t want to smell it that’s one thing. You can both avoid farting around each other.”
“But sounds like he definitely has a double standard in place, and that it bothers him because you’re supposed to be ‘ladylike’. (red flag red flag red flag)” – CrazyBoPeep
“So, info: your dude has never once scratched or rearranged his bits in front of you? Never belched without an apology?”
“He’s remained meticulously groomed and bathed daily for 5+yrs? He never forgets to use deodorant and stinks? If his socks smell he always carries them straight to the laundry room rather than leaving them on the floor or clothes hamper?”
“He doesn’t drip piss on the bathroom floor or else he mops it all up himself? He doesn’t leave skid marks in the toilet, ever?”
“He does half the housework and cooking? He’s basically perfection?”
“If so, I guess you try not to fart in front of him cuz whatever he’s got a huge issue but seems great otherwise. If he’s a normal slobby man but also apparently a controlling misogynistic recently radicalized podcast watching douche then call him on his sh**!” – SnooFoxes4362
NTA. I avoid consciously farting around people in general (including my husband). That said, he has witnessed me giving birth…. A fart is just not that serious. It happens 🤷♀️
“OP: have you considered the idea that your husband may have an agenda here? You mentioned in a reply that you try to avoid conflict – has he ever taken advantage of that?”
“His reaction seems like the kind of behavior I’d expect from someone trying to manipulate his partner by creating problems and insecurity over trivial things”
“I could be Totally wrong.”
“Either way – NTA. People fart.” – MissRiss_
The premise sounds like something out of a bad sitcom. The backward views of the husband leave a lot to be desired.
It’s also so unlikely that in a five year relationship, OP’s husband never heard her fart before.
However, The idea that OP’s husband has never heard her fart was too funny for some people.
“Have you informed your husband that women poop? He might be surprised.” – GopherDog22
“Real quick question OP: you married this guy? Like, on purpose?”
“Yeah, NTA” – WhoFearsDeath
“NTA. Farting is a normal, albeit smelly, bodily function and you should feel comfortable to do it in front of your partner without judgement.”
“Does he also think ‘girls don’t poop’? He sounds immature and sexist.” – bubblegumcurlyfry
“Whenever he farts from now on, refer to him as Lord Fartquad.”
“NTA” – ErrorReport404
“You have not farted in front of your husband in 5 years. How is that possible?”
“You are NTA and you need to rip them them proudly and loudly. Make sure you burp also.” – momofklcg
“NTA. Every time my husband or I let one rip, we always follow it up with ‘Did you hear that?? That one was just for you.’”
“I’d say let ‘em rip as much as possible around him, doesn’t make you less of a lady, the right guy wouldn’t care or make you feel like crap about a natural occurrence like your body needing to release pent up gas. For necessity or for humor.”
“I’m sure he does worse ones and doesn’t even bat an eyelid! Maybe call him out the same way next time he does something ‘gross’ since he doesn’t want to communicate like an adult!” – slitherpuff1009
“Crap! I must be really unladylike since I have burping and farting contests with my husband on a regular basis.”
“NTA OP. But I will tell you something. One of my girlfriends can’t even stand it when her husbands burps loudly around her, even if he says excuse me.”
“She has a visceral reaction to it. Maybe your husband is just that way? When I asked my friend why she’s so strict with her husband, she says that it’s a major turnoff for her.” – MoonLover318
There’s a lot that can be said about the a misogynistic take like “women shouldn’t fart.” OP and her husband need to sit down for a conversation and see if there’s something else that might be an issue.
If not, maybe OP’s husband needs a wakeup call as to how people exist as humans.