Some people act incredibly entitled, especially where it concerns other people’s possessions and services.
But sometimes this becomes more evident after a big event, like a wedding or having a baby, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Fun_Calligrapher_330 was sick of his sister’s entitled behavior, especially where it concerned her children and her as a mother.
But when she started lashing out at his future wife, the Original Poster (OP) decided enough was enough.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for defending my fiancée when my sister yelled at her for wearing perfume around her infant baby?”
The OP felt his sister was an entitled individual.
“My sister has an attitude that everyone should cater to her the entire time. She doesn’t know what boundaries mean and just ignores any complaint we’ll make regarding her behavior.”
“Whenever she visits me and my fiancée, or our parents, she’ll just dump her kids to everyone else and sit around with no responsibility.”
“One time she was mad that my fiancée couldn’t babysit for her kids because my sister wanted to go to a bachelorette party, but it was also my fiancée’s birthday so she, of course, didn’t want to stay inside watching someone else’s kids on her bday.”
His sister was especially demanding at a recent family wedding.
“My sister since gave birth to another baby. The baby is 1.5 months old.”
“On Saturday, we had to attend my cousin’s wedding. My fiancée wore her usual perfume.”
“At the reception, my sister tried to dump the baby on my fiancée again, but she didn’t do so because she smelled my fiancé’s perfume.”
“She then got mad that my fiancée wore perfume and said something like, ‘You knew you’d be around a baby and you’re wearing a heavy perfume like that?'”
“My fiancée told her it was a wedding, and she’s allowed to wear perfume.”
“She then noticed my fiancée also has a body glitter lotion on and my sister got even madder.”
“She called my fiancée insensitive for wearing perfume and body glitter, knowing she’d have to interact with the baby at some point.”
The OP stood up for his future wife.
“I told my sister that maybe she should stop trying to dump her kids onto other people, in this case, my fiancée.”
“I added that if other people’s scents and lotions bothered her so much, she should care for her own kids for once.”
“My parents called me insensitive for saying that to my sister, and they emphasized how being a mom is not easy and I was really hard on her.”
“They also said I’m TA for defending my fiancée like that just for wearing perfume and lotion, and they said how it’s not that difficult to skip perfume and lotion, so you can help someone else when they need it.”
“They called us disrespectful to my sister’s needs and the baby.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some agreed with the OP and found the sister to be incredibly entitled.
“I can’t believe your sister was going to dump her baby on your fiancé at a wedding. Like? What? Hire a sitter.” – Ursula2071
“Skip perfume and lotion?! For a baby? It’s not even her baby. Why would she be ashy for the baby that isn’t hers?”
“NTA. But bruh, your folks need help.” – somethingblvck
“I was ready to be on the sister’s side! Babies are sensitive, and no offense, stupid little blobs that can’t function without help.”
“But she didn’t ask for the OP’s fiancée to babysit and ask for no perfume. She assumed.”
“SIL is a total TA. Good for the OP respecting his fiancée and her boundaries and being able to smell a certain way at a big event.”
“Heck, even my shampoo might make babies sensitive. I would change that if I was asked to watch my nephew! But wouldn’t think twice if I wasn’t 1.) asked, and 2.) asked to watch the kid.” – BillyYumYumTwo-byTwo
“I had that rule myself too (no scents around my baby) when my angry toddler was just a squishy potato.”
“It’s one thing if you agreed to watch the baby and mom and dad are like, ‘Hey, this will cause the baby rashes. Please don’t,’ but to be like the sister and try to shove your baby against someone who doesn’t agree…”
“Can’t really get mad at them for wearing it when they didn’t agree/expect to have a baby attempted to be placed on them.” – Moonydog55
“I had no idea that perfume and glitter lotion were so dangerous to babies?”
“Seriously though, if having children is so hard for her to handle, maybe she shouldn’t have them.”
“I get that being a new mom is hard. I’ve been there, done that, but I wouldn’t take it back for anything in the world, and I’d go through all that stress again, because being a mom is one of the best things I’ve ever done.” – mortgage_gurl
“Also does the sister keep trying to give the baby to the wife? Why not give the baby to her brother? Is the wife being specifically targeted or am I reading too much into it?” – goldanred
“NTA.”
“Firstly, your fiance did nothing wrong. Secondly, so you should defend your fiance if any of your family comes for her!”
“Sounds like your parents understand your sister’s needs perfectly, so she now has two new babysitters at her disposal who agree with her no lotion or perfume rules. Perfect!” – Diligent_Hat_51
“NTA. It was a wedding, and your fiancee isn’t your sister’s default babysitter, especially at an event. To that end, remind your parents of that simple fact. She’s your fiancee and you will always defend her when people are being rude to her.”
“Your sister’s needs regarding care for her children are 100% on her, not on you or your fiancee. The fact that your parents feel differently is disrespectful of them.” – coloradogrown85
Others made jokes about using perfume as a permanent babysitting repellant.
“NTA, and now everyone knows to slather on the lotions and perfumes to get out of the forced babysitting!” – OrangeCubit
“NTA and I’m guessing perfume sales amongst your immediate family within earshot of this conversation just doubled.” – JeepersCreepers74
“New advertising strategy: Market perfume as ‘Babysitting Duty Repellent.'” – alexemalexem
“‘Baby Be Gone’ glittery body lotion.” – Roux_Harbour
“Baby Banishing Cream.” – ClothDiaperAddicts
“Next time she tries to pass the child off to you, look her in the eye, take out a bottle of perfume, and spray it on yourself while maintaining eye contact. Then say, ‘Sorry, I can’t, I have too much perfume on.'” – Le_Chimp
“Okay so, I’m Autistic and have actual sensory reactions to a lot of smells. Perfumes and sprays are the biggest. They cause my brain to go into a panic attack. I’m talking the sweating, shaking, trying not to cry, head-spinning PANIC.”
“I’m still not going to b***h someone wairs it to a wedding. Now, if they are in the place where I live and they do it, knowing that it could casue this reaction? I may ask them just to go a little lighter on the stuff next time.”
“Your sister is absurd. NTA.” – cassity282
“NTA. Welp, this is the usual dysfunctional family story, isn’t it? Sis imposes, Sis goes off on something irrational, other family members make apologies for the irrational behavior, rinse and repeat.”
“But did you notice you played your part, too?”
“What you should have said was, ‘No problem, we’ll stay as far from the baby as we can.’ There’s no way out of that, it’s the end of the argument.”
“Instead, you opened up a different front and went after her about child care, which is a much harder hill to win, generated the big argument everyone was looking for, rinse and repeat.” – Cjack66
“NTA. What total BS!!! So someone should not wear perfume or lotion JUST IN CASE someone needs help with a baby? Again, what total BS!”
“These are your sister’s kids. She needs to stop dumping them on other people. The world does not revolve around her and your parents need to stop enabling her.”
“If your parents are so concerned, let THEM take care of her kids. They are not YOUR responsibility nor your fiancée’s. Your sister sounds odious.” – patjames904
The subReddit could not believe how the sister was behaving or that her family was supporting her bad behavior. To expect someone to dress a certain way, just in case they will interact with a baby, is hardly realistic and incredibly selfish.
If the OP’s future wife had been expected to babysit prior to the event, that would be an entirely different story if she showed up wearing strong perfume, knowing it would be too much for a newborn baby.
The one issue the subReddit took with the OP was that he didn’t shut this down further. He absolutely should stand up for his future wife, especially in the face of such a silly matter, but some of the subReddit felt he should have made it clear that babysitting of any kind would be a complete impossibility in the future.