No matter if it’s for fun or necessity, shopping can be anxiety-inducing.
Maybe it’s leftover PTSD from Covid binge retail.
But some people can’t handle running up and down the aisles.
And some people have an issue with being seen by people they know.
Maybe that’s more about being in public.
There is much to discuss here.
Case in point…
Redditor Putesfhk wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for laughing at my cousin after she had an absolute melt down after her boss saw her buying toilet paper at Costco?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“First post ever on this sub so using a throwaway.”
“Yesterday I tagged along with my cousin on her trip to Costco.”
“She has always been very high-strung but for the most part, we were having a nice time.”
“As we were in the checkout line a very pleasant man in his 50s or 60s came over and said hello.”
“My cousin introduced him as the man who owns the company she works for.”
“I sort of stood by as they had normal small talk and he even complimented her on helping out with a huge sale event though she’s not in sales.”
“And he said that they were still working out what the bonus was going to be but it was going to be more than they initially thought.”
“I mean all and all, it seemed like a great interaction to have with a boss when you see them out in public.”
“Shortly after he left she started almost hyperventilating saying ‘Oh my god, oh my god, I can’t believe that just happened.'”
“I had no idea what she was talking about and then she started saying ‘We have to leave, we have to get out of here, that was horrible.’”
“I said I had $300 worth of groceries and I can’t come to Costco, I can’t leave.”
“She actually walked away and sat down in the food court and I was still so lost but her leaving caused an even bigger scene because I had to go find her because I needed to scan her membership card.”
“She was in absolute hysterics at this point and even the cashier asked if she was ok and if they could get her some water.”
“We paid and walked out and she appeared to be so physically weak I told her to lay down in the back seat and I would load everything and drive.”
“As I was driving I finally asked her what was going on and she screamed at me ‘My boss just saw me buying toilet paper!!! Do you know how humiliating that is?'”
“I actually thought I misheard her so I said ‘Wait this whole thing is over toilet paper?'”
“She screamed ‘Yes I’m probably going to get fired!!'”
“I asked her if she seriously thought she was going to get fired for buying toilet paper.”
“She said yes, and that she can’t let anyone at work know her private life.”
“I told her I doubt he even noticed and I also doubt he thinks about her bathroom habits, but he also probably assumes she sh**s and pi**es like everyone else.”
“Then she screamed back ‘Your job is so easy, you couldn’t possibly understand how much pressure I’m under at work… I’m going to lose it.'”
“At this point, I lost it and started laughing harder than I knew was possible.”
“Not only was it ridiculous but I felt like she was attacking me and instead of going back and forth, i felt finding the humor was the way to go.”
“She said ‘You’re actually laughing at me? You are such an a**hole. I do you a huge favor and you’re laughing at me?'”
“She got to my house and dropped me off and sped off with my groceries.”
“I called my Aunt to make sure they got at least put in the fridge.”
“My aunt said my cousin overreacted but I’ll probably need to apologize to be able to get my stuff.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Holy crap, your cousin uses TOILET PAPER?!?”
“As in… she goes to the BATHROOM?!?!”
“Yes, she’ll definitely get fired as her boss will never be able to look at her without imagining her on the toilet.”
“So sad, but she’s the only person in the entire world who produces bodily waste and it’s just too difficult to get our minds around that.”
“Obviously, NTA, as that’s stupid AF, but perhaps you invited her rage by making her feel every ounce of the stupidity she deserved.”
“She was clearly overreacting, but, unless she’s a known faker, those huge feelings were real and she probably felt like she deserved to keep the shred of dignity she had left after making such a scene.” ~ SunshineShoulders87
“Like he’s never noticed any of them going into the bathrooms?”
“The scene she caused (if he saw it) would be the reason to question her sanity.”
“She’s beyond high-strung and may need to start talking to someone about her issues.”
“Sounds like this was a lot more than her boss seeing her toilet paper given her comments about the stresses of her job.” ~ rainyhawk
“My old boss would go on and on and on about how stressful the job was, how she had to work all weekend, how everything had to be absolutely perfect.”
“She would freak out all the time.”
“No one cares except her.”
“The company’s owner had no idea what was going on until they were informed.”
“Everything was always fine.”
“And when it wasn’t fine, she was waaaaay too much of a mess to fix any of it, so problem-solving always fell to me.”
“It sounds like OP’s cousin is making herself miserable and stressed.”
“I mean if she gets this stressed over toilet paper…”
“Although, OP, she’s not high-strung.”
“It sounds like she has pretty severe anxiety and probably needs professional help.” ~ Uhwhateverokay
“Agreed. Professional help in the form of counseling and medication both.”
“I’m not saying that to be flippant either.”
“Her reaction was so incredibly disproportionate that I understand OP’s reaction. NTA.” ~ UCgirl
“As someone who has struggled with anxiety, ‘those huge feelings were real’ is such a kind and affirming thing to say even though OP’s cousin was acting ridiculous.”
“It’s so hard to step outside your own brain when it’s throwing a fit, and while the trigger and the actions are objectively wacky, the feelings are what they are.”
“I hope the cousin gets some therapy — living with those feelings all the time with no tools for managing them is exhausting and demoralizing, to say nothing of the innocent bystanders like OP who get caught in the blast radius.”
“OP, if you want to repair the relationship, you might apologize for not realizing how distressed your cousin was.”
“It sounds like she was having a panic attack.”
“That’s not your fault and I don’t blame you for your reaction, but it wasn’t helpful.”
“Acknowledging that might help you both move forward.”
“Still NTA, though.” ~ double_sal_gal
“I had to learn this lesson the hard way with my wife.”
“I’ve always struggled with anxiety too, but I guess not as severely or I’m just otherwise able to process that I’m being ridiculous and that helps me.”
“My wife on the other hand has extremely big, powerful emotions and very much does not appreciate having it pointed out that they aren’t logical. “
“They are very real FOR HER and that’s what matters.” ~ 3nigmax
“Anxiety is hard, and work anxiety sometimes feels worse, especially in places with little social safety net.”
“But either cousin has a very high level of anxiety or a high level of toxic workplace environment or maybe both.”
“Regardless, she’s going to need to sort that out.”
“NTA for OP, though. I feel a lot of compassion for my cousin and would like to say that laughing is not going to make that situation better, but honestly, chuckling at a toilet paper freak out while getting those discount dogs would probably be involuntary for most people.” ~ Evening_Tax1010
“NTA. Hell, I laughed, and I wasn’t even there.”
“With that said, your cousin needs therapy.”
“I don’t say that in a mean way.”
“I say it because that is a level of anxiety that needs professional help.”
“For her own sake!”
“That has got to be a God-awful way to live!” ~ JustMe869
“OMG, I cannot believe someone would use toilet paper.”
“Whenever I have the human urge to defecate and urinate, I will myself not to because I’m an alpha, and it passes.”
“NTA. Your cousin is being absurd.”
“I’m not sure of her reasoning (maybe she’s afraid of not looking any less than perfect), but she completely overreacted to something normal.”
“Honestly, if I was her boss and saw her act that way, I would find that to be incredibly odd than coming upon with her buying essentials.”
“Go get your groceries.”
“Maybe talk to your cousin when she’s in a better mood.”
“If you want, you can apologize, but you didn’t do anything wrong.” ~ AVeryBrownGirlNerd
“NTA… what kind of repressed life has your cousin been living?”
“Double-down on this one and order the CHILDREN’S book ‘Everybody Poops’ from Amazon and have it delivered anonymously… LOL!!” ~ Ok-Weather1267
“Nah, cousin is upset because in the bathroom habits portion of her job interview, she claimed to be a member of the bidet brigade and now the boss knows she lied.”
“She’s def screwed. NTA.” ~ MrHodgeToo
“NTA – Yet I’d say tell aunt your cousin needs some help…” ~ CornerSevere
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Your cousin has the right to her feelings but she doesn’t get to mistreat you.
It sounds like she could use some serious therapy.
Maybe a little more finesse and a little less laughter next time.
Hopefully, you get your groceries back.