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Woman Unloads On Her Mom After She Tries To Pressure Her Into Getting A Breast Reduction

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As children enter puberty their bodies change. But some people aren’t supportive of those changes.

One 22-year-old woman has been dealing for years with a mother who doesn’t appreciate how her body developed.

After reaching the end of her rope with her mother’s constant comments, the woman turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Redditor nonniethenonnie asked:

“AITA for yelling at my mom that she is obsessed about my boobs?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“AITA for telling my mom to stop obsessing over my boobs?

I have always been, well, blessed in the chest department. It’s something I used to be super self conscious about since my mother makes a big deal over it.

I’m the only daughter in a family of 4 kids so my mom was overjoyed that she finally had a girl. Which means she is always hyper focused on me and my body, especially my boobs.

Imagine being 10 and listening to your mom argue loudly with the sales lady at the store that I could absolutely not be wearing a bra because I was too young even though none of the training bras fit me even at that young age (spoiler, we ended up having to get me an actual bra).

I mean I could constantly list the things she does /says in regards to my chest, from telling me I shouldn’t be showing off so much cleavage in front of my brothers, to that I shouldn’t wear tops that are too revealing because creepy old men will look at them.

The problem is that everything is too revealing. I could be wearing a normal tshirt and it would be too revealing because it would be a little stretched out and tight on my chest area.

I felt so self conscious I basically wore giant hoodies most of my teen years so she wouldn’t comment.

Well fast forward to now and I’ve begun to appreciate my body for what it is. I like my boobs the way they are!

Yeah I might not be able to fit into some clothing types and yeah I might accidentally (or purposely on occasion) be showing cleavage but that’s my right!

And being away from my mom at college for the last few years was super helpful to get the negativity away, but being back home during the pandemic for my last semester has been rough.

Especially after my mom and dad gave me a graduation gift of $5K, which my dad suggested I put towards a car, and my mom suggested I put towards breast reduction.

I was stunned, and frankly so was my dad.

She got super defensive and launched into a rant about ‘how I need to do this so I don’t look like a tramp all of the time and I’ll never find a good man if all they are interested in are my boobs’.

I was furious and let all of the pent up rage from the last 10 years out on her, and told her she needed to stop being so obsessed with my boobs and I’m going to do with them what I want even if I look like a tramp.

She broke down crying and left the house and hasn’t been back in hours. My dad agrees that what she says was uncalled for but that my response was equally uncalled for and now I feel incredibly guilty.

AITA for yelling at her about her comments over my boobs?

Redditors weighed in on the situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole.

“NTA, your mom sounds as creepy as the old men she’s warning you about when it comes to your boobs.”

“She needs to mind her own business and take a good hard look at herself before commenting on your appearance.”

“Breast surgery is a huge undertaking, not to be considered lightly and telling her daughter she’s ‘trampy’ is extremely uncalled for.”

“Put the money towards the car. Enjoy your assets and disregard your mom and her peculiar ideas.” ~ ApartLocksmith1

“NTA. I don’t know what her problem is, but it’s HER problem and she’s making it yours.”

“Calling your own daughter a tramp because of her body shape is incredibly mean and cruel, whether she intends it to be or not.”

“The only reason to have a breast reduction is if you want one. Full stop.”

“You like your body and you like the way you look in your clothing, and that’s what counts.”

“Your mother needed a dose of frank truth, and I’m not sure she was willing to listen to any other method of presentation.” ~ corgihuntress

The OP returned with an update.

“First off, did not expect this to blow up this much and it’s sort of weird to have so many people talking about my boobs (although I asked for it!)”

“I want to thank everyone for your thoughts, and to all those blessed chested ladies in the comments who’ve given wonderful advice on dealing with this and other haters, loving yourself and how to find proper bras you’re all amazing.”

“Second, the update.”

“We finally found out where my mom was after 5 hours – to no ones surprise, she went to our church. When my mom got back she was incredibly weepy and apologetic – lots of ‘I’m a horrible mom’ talk.”

“I let her sort of vomit out all of her excuses – she’s concerned about pervs, some BS religious stuff about modesty and tempting others, lots of ‘I was just trying to help/protect you’, etc – and I kept quiet.”

“Once she was done, I apologized for my language towards her but not for being angry. I explained that it really hurt all these years that she would want me to change/hide the body god gave me (thanks for the advice to say that everyone!), and that I wouldn’t tolerate any more discussion of my body or my boobs, period.”

“If she does do it, I’ll leave the room. She wanted to continue talking, but I did my best to shut her down and end the conversation – I know I’m not going to change her mind on most of her excuses (and tbh, I don’t want it to be my responsibility to fix her BS mindset).”

“It is my job to set boundaries for myself- so that’s what I’m going to try to do. And I plan on having a discussion with my dad soon too, but honestly I’m already exhausted from this all so that’s going to happen later.”

Hopefully the OP can set those boundaries firmly with her mother. She’s happy with the body she has. That should be what counts.

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka Haudenosaunee and Metis Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. She considers herself another proud Maineiac.
Member of NAJA.