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Woman Offends Her Boyfriend Who Has A Micropenis After Asking If He’d Wear A Strap-On During Sex

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Everyone has needs within a relationship, and it’s always best to be honest about those needs.

But for some people, a partner sharing that information is going to be hard to hear.

For 22-year-old Redditor “throwRA664755,” she was surprised when her 25-year-old boyfriend took her suggestion to spice things up in the bedroom as terribly as he did.

The Original Poster (OP) shared her situation in the “Relationship Advice” subReddit, wondering what she should do now that she’s shared her feelings and seen how her boyfriend responds to them.

The OP confided to the thread: 

“My boyfriend refuses to get a strap-on and I think it might be over.”

The OP explained she and her boyfriend have tried to keep it interesting in the bedroom. 

“Now I know how this looks but listen my boyfriend is a great guy, we’ve been together for little over a year and all but he has a micro penis and even though we’ve been able to get around that by more foreplay and other activities versus traditional sex it just isn’t enough for me.”

But now that she’s come across an alternative, the OP wants to explore more options. 

“I heard about strap-ons for guys where they put their d**k in another d**k basically and I thought that’s a great idea, I mean its not like I’m trying to replace him its just another activity on top of the others we do but I didnt realize how sensitive he’d be about it.”

The OP’s boyfriend got upset over this suggestion. 

“He got really upset and said that there is no way he would ever put one on, I tried to reassure him but he wouldn’t listen and now we haven’t been talking for the whole day.”

Now their relationship may be ending and the OP isn’t sure what to do. 

“I cant imagine living the whole rest of my life abstaining from traditional sex so I am seriously considering ending it right now because of his reaction or giving him an ultimatum that it’s the strap on or the door and I know it sounds rude and thoughtless but I have needs too.”

Fellow Redditors shared their thoughts on how the OP approached the situation and how to remedy it. 

Some Redditors confirmed there has to be a compromise on both sides for a relationship to work. 

“Yep. I wouldn’t be okay going through life this way, and it’s honestly quite telling that he is unwilling to consider compromise.”Lucy_in_the_sky_0

“you have the right to ask, but he has the right to say no. Sounds like you guys are just incompatible”Runaway-Kotarou

“His reaction is understandable. If you don’t think you’re compatible because he doesn’t want to, and that makes you happy that’s also understandable”rah_factor

“There is no future if you aren’t satisfied sexually. Sex is a huge part of successful, healthy relationships and you guys just aren’t sexually compatible.”

“There are lots of women out there, that would be totally content with a sex life he is able to offer. It’s not your fault that you’re not fulfilled and it’s not his fault that he isn’t comfortable with doing what you need to be satisfied.”AllyKalamity

“They both deserve to be comfortable. She has needs and that’s okay. But it doesn’t sound he will feel very safe or accepted emotionally or sexually with her.”dr-garth-snoot

Others thought the OP and boyfriend were incompatible and suggested moving on. 

“I think it’s important to consider his feelings with compassion. Micro penises carry a stigma, one that a large portion of the population thinks is ok to mock and humiliate.”

“To be indirectly mocked and humiliated over one’s ability to mutually enjoy sexual intimacy is traumatizing. This man has been traumatized and I think he deserves a partner that can be compassionate towards his pain.”

“It seems OP is too unhappy with the dynamic to hold emotional space for his pain; which is ok, she is not obligated to. OP deserves a partner that fulfills her intimately.”

“They’re sexually incompatible and I think both of their reactions to the situation are understandable.”Serena_Clement

“People are making his feelings her responsibility though. His feelings and actions are making her unhappy and unfulfilled in the relationship and a lot of people are putting it on her to try to fix his mental state about his own body.”

“That’s never someone elses responsibility and this is pushed on women a lot. Women arent therapists they arent responsible for the emotional well being of their partner.”

“He needs to come to term with his body issues on his own time and if he refuses to put any effort into that at all then she has every right to leave.”greenrosepdtl

“I can totally understand his feelings, but I can totally understand YOURS too.”

“I’m a female who once dated a man with erectile dysfunction due to a minor spinal injury. He could walk normally (a slight limp) and do 90% of things someone without an injury could do.”

“He was up front that he was unable to get an erection. I told him we would try, communicate, and see how it went.”

“It didn’t work.”

“People will hand you ‘sex isn’t everything’ and ‘he has fingers’ and while those might be true and ok for SOME people and that’s fine if they are, for some other people it’s just not.”

“For me it wasn’t.”

“There’s a level of intimacy that I need with a partner and that includes penetrative sex. It wasn’t at all his fault he was injured and he was a great person.”

“But he wasn’t what I needed in a PARTNER and he just couldn’t be that.”

“And that’s ok.”RageAgainstYoda

A few also tried to encourage the OP by suggesting it would be possible to make it work. 

“Hey OP, I have a very good friend who’s hubs has MP and they have managed to make it work, but its a legit disability and there is no possible way this hasn’t been presented to him as such, so the whole ‘You shocked and emasculated the poor thing!’ I find is kind of out of place.”

“[He] knows he has f**king Micro Phallus, he’s seen Drs about it, he knew this would be ‘a thing’ that has to get dealt with inside any relationship that was ever going to involve sex.”

“If he wants to be mad at the world and his body for a minute, be patient with him, disabilities suck and are very hard to deal with emotionally, but you did the right thing to communicate your needs. This isn’t an either/or situation.”MaebeeNot

“You gotta keep in mind some girls prefer smaller penises to larger ones and some don’t care about length at all and only care about girth (or the reverse).”

“Having a small or large penis or a thin or fat penis doesn’t really make too much of a difference unless you’re unwilling to work with what you got and try new things and listen to her and see what she likes.”PresentDelivery996

“I am a straight woman, and the BEST sex I’ve ever had was actually with the smallest penis I’ve been with. The reason the sex was good was because of our insane chemistry, passion, and how involved he was.”

“He didn’t have a micropenis, but it was small enough that standard condoms slipped off multiple times during sex.”

“On the flip side, the largest d**k I’ve ever been with was attached to the worst sex I’ve ever had. The guy assumed he could just slam it around inside me and do nothing else, and that was just so uncomfortable and painful.”

“I will also tell you, many women cannot cum from penetration. Many women need clitoral stimulation, so if you are or can get good at foreplay, or look into cock rings, women may actually prefer that.”

“Main point is to pay attention to what your partner enjoys, be your best, and the right person will love it and you.”mommak2011

Whether or not the OP initially came across as insensitive, at least she now has some advice to go off of to fix the relationship, if she decides she wants to.

McKenzie Lynn Tozan

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan lives in North Chicago, where she works as a poet, freelance writer, and editor. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Western Michigan University, and her BA in English from Indiana University South Bend. Her poems have appeared in Rogue Agent, Whale Road Review, the James Franco Review, Thank You for Swallowing, and elsewhere; and her essays and book reviews have appeared with Memoir Mixtapes, The Rumpus, BookPage, and Motherly, among others. When she's not reading and writing, she's in her garden or spending time with her family. For more, visit www.mckenzielynntozan.com.