Picking your kids’ names can be challenging, but it’s even more difficult if your family is full of bullies.
Making fun of a baby because of their name is particularly cruel. Especially, if that baby is your grandkid.
Redditor SoftBlussh encountered this very issue with her family. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
She asked:
“AITA for wanting to give my daughter an Irish name that my whole family hates?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Hi all. My partner and I want to try for a baby, and we have two concrete names picked out.”
“We decided not to tell anyone the names until our baby was born and already had it on the birth certificate (because what can they say at that point?) but my mom found my list of girls’ names and spread our top choice around to the whole family who HATES it.”
“My partner is Irish, and we both love the name Saoirse (Ser-Sha). There’s a famous actress with the same name so we didn’t think it would be a huge deal.”
“My mom has flat out told me if I have a daughter she won’t call her by her given name and will instead call her ‘Sushi.’ My entire family jumped on board with this and has been relentlessly harassing me about the name.”
“Honestly I know I shouldn’t stress too much as there’s a fifty fifty chance I’ll have a baby boy anyway. But the discourse around the name has really started to aggravate me and the idea that my kid is going to be bullied by my whole family because she has an Irish name is getting under my skin.”
OP’s mom is now very invested in OP’s journey.
“The last time she asked me if I’d gotten a positive pregnancy test I said no, and she goes ‘well let’s hope it’s not a girl because she’s Sushi to me.'”
“I flat out told my mother I don’t care for her opinion as she has shit taste in names anyway. She asked what that meant and I said I’ve always hated my own name, and I should have the ability to choose one for my child just like she did for me.”
“She was extremely hurt that I didn’t like my name and the general consensus is I’m a jerk for saying so.”
“My husband’s family of course has no issue with Saoirse. They’re Irish.”
“AITA for wanting to give a child a phonetically Irish name? And for telling my mom off?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. I’d just tell her if she calls her Sushi it will be the last time she sees her to call her anything. The irony of her being hurt you don’t like your name lol. Families can be such assholes.” ~ TheVue221
“If you insist on calling my daughter Sushi, I’ll insist on calling you the Grandma We Don’t See.” ~ Durbee
“That’s one brutal ultimatum if I’ve ever read any” ~ retired-penguin
“Exactly. She’s seriously going to bully her own grandchild over a name? Really? If you’re going to treat your own grandchild poorly over a dumb reason like that then maybe you shouldn’t be part of the grandkids life.” ~ Fun_Frosting_797
“You think that’s worse than having the whole family call a child sushi for her whole life because the xenophobic grandmother didn’t like her name? Nah… NC is a very fair response to this BS.”
“NTA. Next time she says this shit tell her she’ll be cut out and then stop talking to her until she gets her act together. Never mind that this stress isn’t going to help you get pregnant.” ~ LimitlessMegan
“Exactly this family is sooo toxic. Depending on which country you’re in your daughter may actually face trouble because of the name (the spelling and pronunciation are different from each other, it might cause problems for her in school where kids are silly and stupid but I think it’ll be fine after she grows up) so you might want to consider changing it but it’s ultimately your choice.”
“I would have said NAH but instead of suggesting other cute names their solution is to BULLY your child from an age so young she might actually think it’s her nickname or something. Don’t let them near your daughter if they do this.”
“She’ll grow up to resent her name and them definitely but it might actually extend to you too. Protect her from them. Also them not even trying to pronounce it correctly makes them come off kinda racist (they probably are).” ~ got_toaskthis
Many shared how their nickname came to be.
“Seriously. Sushi would only be an ok nickname if a young relative said it as an honest mispronunciation. Kind of like how Beezus is actually named Beatrice in the Beezus and Ramona books, because as a toddler Ramona couldn’t say Beatrice right.” ~ phalseprofits
“My cousin’s name was Shelfie because she couldn’t say Michelle as a baby. Until she was ready for that to stop in her teens.” ~ FenderMartingale
“That’s why I’m Auntie Apple. The ‘pr’ in April is hard for little ones to say…” ~ Orca0574
“My sister’s FIL doesn’t like my niece’s name so he calls her by her initials (think like calling her DD because her first and last name are the same initial) and she stopped speaking to him and got rid of anything where he had written the initials instead of her name.” ~ Writer_Life
“Lol.”
“Sushi would actually be cute if it was one of those nicknames that comes from the kid not knowing how to say a name. Like Miley being from Smiley but she said Miley instead.”
“But it sucks it’s grandma being mean instead.”
“NTA obviously.” ~ Happy-Investment
“My niece is called Lucy, but when she was little she couldn’t say it properly, so she called herself ‘sushi’- it was so cute! Not cute if people are calling you that to be an asshole though” ~ sarz111
“Not sure it will survive the language barrier, but my great aunt Iza (Polish nickname from Isabella) is really Aunt Maria, which I learnt at like 10 y/o. My grandma as a toddler couldn’t say Marysia (sth like mah-ri-shiah), the nickname for Maria, and called her… Mama.”
“So great-grandpa told her to call her “Izia” (sounding similar to the last syllable of “Marysia”) and with time it evolved into “Iza”, and from my dad to me, she’s Aunt Iza.” ~ Bubblegumiebitch
The OP returned with an update.
“Thank you so much! I am open to rethinking names.”
“If my mother had respectfully given reasons for disliking Saoirse I’d have taken those reasons into account.”
“So I very much appreciate people sharing their thoughts.”
“Can someone link me to these posts with all the desperate Saoirse-moms? I keep seeing them mentioned in the comments and I want to find solidarity amongst my people. Lol”
Ultimately, the name of your children is your choice.