A little generosity goes a long way.
And more often than not, the one providing a bit of kindness will often feel as good or better as those on the receiving end, knowing they have helped make their day a little better.
Everything starts to go south, however, when kindness and generosity are taken advantage of.
Such was sadly the case with Redditor BingandBong123, who used to lighten the day of her colleagues when she went out to make smoothie runs.
But when one co-worker began to take advantage of the original poster (OP)’s generous offer, the rest of the office likewise suffered.
Worried that she was being unfair to everyone else, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA For not including my coworkers in smoothie runs any more?”
The OP first shared how she initially enjoyed picking up smoothies for her co-workers, and the gesture did go unappreciated, with one notable exception.
“I (27 F[emale]) work in an office building that’s around 10 minutes walk from a local smoothie shop.”
“I often walk there on my lunch break, and I used to ask around and see if anyone wanted anything before I went, and they would pay me back when I brought them their drinks.”
“A couple of coworkers would not pay me back straight away but buy me drinks when we went out to a bar for a work mixer, so it evened out.”
“One of my coworkers (52 F) has started being more and more relaxed about paying me back, to the point where I had bought her about 5 smoothies and had nothing in return.”
“The next time I went on a smoothie run, I politely asked if she could transfer me some money or give me some cash for the drinks I’d bought her the week before, and she apologized for forgetting and said yes of course she would.”
“I bought her the smoothie and the next day when I checked my account, she had not given me anything.”
“I know she had my details saved as I have received money from her that way several times before.”
“I asked her one more time via message if she could please pay me back for her drinks and she sent back a message saying ‘I already said I would, don’t be so impatient’.”
That one rogue colleague’s resistance to pay the OP back resulted in her becoming less inclined to make smoothie runs for anyone other than herself, much to the dismay of her office.
“After that I started just getting myself a drink and not buying any for anyone else.”
“When she saw me coming into the office with smoothies just for me she kept complaining, saying she would have asked me to get her something if she knew I was planning to go to the smoothie place.”
“I said that I was low on funds right now and couldn’t cover the cost of everyone’s drinks, and she scoffed and said everyone pays me back anyway so why should being broke affect anything.”
“I reminded her she still owed me for several drinks and she instantly flipped to saying I was petty and selfish for only picking up my own drink, and that she already said she will pay me back so I should leave it alone and stop bringing that up.”
“I told her I wasn’t going to get her another smoothie again, ever, and that I expected to be paid what I am owed.”
“She walked off very upset.”
“Several of my coworkers said they thought my reaction was over the top and that she was just speaking from a place of hurt, and that they don’t see why I have stopped getting anyone a drink when only one coworker is causing a problem.”
“I have told them I don’t want to deal with the drama and complications, but they are still upset with me.”
“Am I the asshole for only picking up my own smoothies from now on?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP was not at all the a**hole for declining to buy the rest of her colleague’s drinks.
Everyone agreed that the OP made a fair decision to hold out till the one colleague paid her back, while several pointed out how there was nothing stopping anyone else from either getting their own smoothies or, for that matter, volunteering to make the smoothie run themselves.
“NTA.”
“Crazy how none of your coworkers are chomping at the bit to go pick up smoothies for the office.”
“Maybe because they know they won’t be paid back, huh?”- NUT-me-SHELL
“NTA her ‘place of hurt’ is that you called her on her BS.”
“AH just don’t want to know that we see through their crap.”- Glock212327
“NTA.”
“Cash up front is the only way.”- goodwithsalt
“NTA.”
“If this person wants a smoothie, then they can buy their own darn smoothie.”- bigdrew444
“NTA.”
“Your first mistake was asking people if they’d like anything from the shop.”
“People’s sense of entitlement is astounding.”
“I used to keep a bowl of chocolates in my office.”
“People would pop in and grab a candy, no big deal, right?”
“Someone complained they didn’t like the type of candy I bought and could I get something else.”
“I just looked up and went back to work.”-penguin_squeak
“NTA.”
“This is not your fault.”
“You’re not a charity.”
“This one person has ruined it for everyone else.”
“Your coworkers should be complaining to her about what she has done.”
“I get the impression they’re complaining to you because they see you as a pushover.”
“So good on you for drawing and sticking to this boundary.”
“Don’t ruin it by agonizing over it!”
“The way to deal with this is not care that they’re complaining.”-Antstst
“NTA.”
“What you do is say,’ I am happy to pick up smoothies if anyone wants one as I am going but I don’t want friction over money with colleagues’.”
“As such I will need to ask for payment in advance’.”
“If this is questioned you point out you are out of pocket and though happy to help your colleagues you are not happy to fund their smoothies.”
“In this way you can avoid being accused of specifically excluding this woman and still help your workmates.”
“As they are aware of the issue they can direct any frustration at the cause.”
“There is nothing unreasonable in expecting people to pay at the time of ordering.”-Agreeable_Part_1718
“NTA she’s a free loader.”
“Don’t listen to your coworkers.”
“In fact tell them they can start covering the price of her smoothies up front and see how they like not getting paid back.”- MissBerrylicious
“OP, I am YOU at my job, but for lunch, so about $10 to $20 per person.”
“My policy is that if someone doesn’t pay me back ONE time, I don’t take their order again, until I get paid.”
“I don’t even ask them for the money, I just don’t get them lunch anymore.”
“NTA.”- strangemusicsince04
“NTA.”
“I would take a moment to realize your other co-workers aren’t upset about how you treated deadbeat, they are just upset they are losing their smoothie run.”
“I personally don’t believe in one bad apple spoils bunch, but if this is an annoyance you’d rather not have your perfectly go for cutting it off.”
“If you ever feel like offering to do a run again, feel free don’t let this one experience color your friendliness, only now, get funds first.”- mewhilehigh
“NTA.”
“An asshole would take her order, and then tell her she would get her drink sometime, you said you would do it and she shouldn’t be so impatient.”- BikingOtter
“NTA.”
“You handled it perfectly.”- Embarrassed-Sweet905
“NTA.”
“You’re not a free drink service.”
“She hasn’t paid you back on your the bad guy?”- MerlinBiggs
“NTA.”
“Your first mistake was asking others.”
“It’s your break, take it for you.”
“You’re not the office smoothie runner.”- dafuq55
“NTA.”
“You’re ‘speaking from a place of hurt’ that your bank account was depleted by a scammer.”
“She’s working right there in front of you, making money, but you’re not a priority for her to pay back.”
“She can watch you drink your smoothie.”- Glum-Ad-4736
“NTA.”
“You did everything right.”
“You seem like a great human and deserve a smoothie!- thatdogegirl
“Sigh.”
“No good deed goes unpunished.”
“NTA.”- Cindy-Lou-Who-2
“NTA.”
“People like this are pure poison.”
“They say they will pay, and nothing happen, then they say they did pay, but something went wrong.”
“Then, if you keep pushing they eventually pay you some.”
“But not as much as you were owed.”
“But at that point, you feel like such an ass that you don’t want to ask anymore.”
“One of my best friends is notoriously like this, and the rest of the people in the friends group have learned just to live with it.”
“He’s a great guy, but just goes mad about money.”
“So rules with him are, never lend him money you expect to get back.”
“Never pay up front for anything with him around.”
“Restaurants, taxies, aso.”
“At least my friend know exactly what he is, so when we call him out on it, he just laughs.”- Odd-Jupiter
As the saying goes, “one bad grape spoils the bunch.”
It does seem a shame that the rest of the OP’s colleagues felt the need to gang up on her, rather than the one colleague who continuously neglects to pay her back.
Making her decision to stop getting smoothies for everyone all the more understandable.