Nearly all of us have found ourselves in a position where we did something despite the warnings of others not to.
More often than not, we eventually learn the hard way why we were advised against doing something.
On the flip-side, sometimes we can’t help but feel vindicated, or even laugh, when we warn people against taking part in something, and see their bad decisions come right back in their face.
A recent Redditor recently fulfilled a life-long goal of his, which his girlfriend was vehemently against, believing it to be a very dangerous endeavor.
But the original poster (OP) ignored his girlfriend’s disapproval, only to find her fears to be well founded.
Wondering if he would be out of line for asking his girlfriend’s assistance following his poor decision-making, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for expecting my gf to help me when I did something she disapproved of?”
The OP explained how he didn’t heed their girlfriend’s warning, but still expected her help when his poor judgment caught up with him.
“I bought a secondhand motorcycle from a friend and began using it to get my motorcycle license.”
“My gf was very against it and showed me statistics of injury rates from motorcycles and how stupid it was that I was choosing to take the risk.”
“I’ve always wanted to get one and I ignored her because she is constantly nagging about it being dangerous.”
“We got into multiple fights over it and I was sick and tired of her complaining.”
“Last month I got into an accident, no car only me, where I swerved into a metal fence and broke my collar bone and fractured my wrist.”
“I got myself to emergency and they patched me up.”
“I also got multiple cuts on my face and I needed stitches.”
“I don’t have the best insurance so after insurance, I have a $3700 bill.”
“I can’t afford this and even if I sell the motorcycle I still have over a grand in the bill.”
“I’m trying to get the bill reduced now but it will take a while.”
“Beyond that, I also can’t cook or do basic things like put on the brace to my shoulder or lift things.”
“I’ve asked my gf to help me when she comes over and she’s just coldly told me if she helps me I’ll just get back on my motorcycle, which I’ve already told her I’m trying to sell.”
“I’ve called her cold and b*tchy for refusing to help me with anything because she calls my injuries self-inflicted.”
“She seems like she wouldn’t help me if I got sick because she isn’t the least bit sympathetic.”
“I got hurt but AITA for expecting any help after she warned me it was dangerous?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP received little to no sympathy from the Reddit community, who felt he was pretty clearly the a**hole for expecting help from his girlfriend.
While just about everyone agreed that the OP was reckless, many also pointed out how he doesn’t seem particularly happy in this relationship, nor does he seem to treat his girlfriend particularly kindly, thus finding the fact that he expected help from her all the more absurd.
“Dude, YTA.”
“I ride.”
“There’s 2 types of riders: those that’ve wiped and those that haven’t.”
“YET. I ride with my safety gear on, NEVER without insurance on both me and the bike!”
“I’ve even added Aflak-type insurance, ‘just in case’.”
“You’ve no business riding without insurance or being safe.”
“She was against it, you belittle her, then you want her help?”- melloyellomio
“You don’t even like this person. Why are you dating her?”- sunfloweries
“YTA.”
“She warned you, you got hurt, she’s not budging.”
“I admire her boundaries.”
“F around and find out!”- devlin94
“Ok so let me get this straight because I had to read your post several times to understand what ‘help’ you were demanding, and not getting, from your girlfriend.”
“Here’s what you wrote:”
“‘I still have over a grand in the bill’.”
“‘I can’t cook or do basic things like put on the brace to my shoulder or lift things’.”
“‘I’ve asked my gf to help me when she comes over to help me’.”
“So:”
“Your girlfriend is helping you during your recovery.”
“She comes over to your place to cook for you and help you lift things and put on your shoulder brace.”
“However, you are calling her ‘cold and b*tchy’ because she refuses to help ‘with anything else, ie pay your hospital bill, on top of the care she is already providing for your ungrateful a**.”
“OP, you have some nerve demanding that your girlfriend pay any part of your hospital bill.”
“You should be kissing her feet for cooking for and tending to you right now, instead of dumping you flat, as you deserve.”
“Hopefully she is only waiting for you to recover somewhat before she does in fact dump you.”
“YTA.”- Prestigious_Isopod72
“‘I’m going to put my hand near that fire’.”
“‘Don’t, you’ll get burned’.”
“‘I’m going to’.”
“‘Please don’t’.”
“‘Stop nagging me’.”
“‘Ouch that fire burned me’.”
“‘Yea, fire does that’.”
“‘Help me with my burn’.”
“‘I warned you but you called me a nag’.”
“‘Don’t be a b*tch, help me’.”
“‘Bye.”
“YTA.”
“Sounds like the issue is more your AH communication style than anything else.”-lastofthe_timeladies
“YTA.”
“You didn’t care about how she felt when you went ahead and got the bike.”
“You didn’t factor in the risks and costs associated.”
“You are very lucky it was only $3700 bill.”
“This is not just getting sick.”
“This was you making a choice to get on a motorbike knowing the danger and her feeling then expecting her to be responsible for you when it went wrong.”
“Would it be nice if she helped care for you?”
“Yes.”
“But then it would also be nice if she had a boyfriend that cared about how she felt and didn’t call her b*tchy and nagging.”- Asleep_Dimension_120
“YTA.”
“This is the definition of f*ck around find out.”- Famous_Ad_3124
“YTA.”
“Actions have consequences.”
“You’re asking her to pay for your choices.”
“Choices that she specifically spoke out against.”
“No one should own a motorcycle if they are not in a position to pay medical bills, cover being off work, and cover paid help for the things they can no longer do.”
“If a spouse/SO agrees to help you in the case of a problem, that’s one thing, but your GF stated clearly that she was against it.”
“This is in no way on her to solve for you.”
“And just so you know I’m not one of ‘those’ people, my husband currently owns around 20 motorcycles.”
“But we can afford for an accident to happen.”- BookReader1328
“YTA.”
“You were literally warned by her about the exact situation you are now in.”
“Not sure how the rest of your relationship is but it seems like this was the breaking point for her.”
“Also why’re you with her if you’re sick of her complaining?”
“Like.”
“Just break up then.”- PAD_Rowken
“You got off lightly, something it doesn’t sound like you realize because you’re focused on her treatment of you.”
“I’m an amputee from a motorcycle accident lol.”
“$3700 hundred dollar bill and a girlfriend who has the right to say I TOLD YOU SO is nothing.”
“Count your blessings man, could’ve been so much worse.”- ButterscotchRight645
“YTA.”
“You had bad insurance and you got a motorcycle anyway.”
“That is completely irresponsible.”
“If you knew anything about riding you would know that everyone ends up in the ER at some point.”
“It is just your lack of skill, it is every other diver out there as well as road conditions and lack of protection on a bike.”
“Now you expect a bailout from the people who loved you enough to warn you.”
“I would do very little to help you too.”
“There is no way I’d give you money for this.”
“She is right, this is a lesson you need to learn.”
“Everything you put in this post is an indication you haven’t learned your lesson.”
“If it wasn’t a partnership when you considered her a nag, then it isn’t magically a partnership now just b/c you decided that it works in your favor.”
“Perhaps if you admitted you were acting selfishly and irresponsibly, that you are sorry for treating her poorly, that she was right and you are going to take responsibility for the mess you caused, i.e. by paying your own bills and figuring out how to take care of yourself, then she will know you have learned a lesson and she will be willing to help.”
“If you don’t do those things, then there is really no point to the relationship, is there?”-Corpuscular_Ocelot
Telling someone “I told you so” never improves any situation, even if the OP’s girlfriend had every right to say so.
Beyond his not heeding her warnings, however, one has to wonder why the OP would have expected his girlfriend to help him when she appears to be so low in his estimation.
Leading one to imagine this will likely be the last time she ever gave advice to him as his girlfriend.