Content Warning: Discussions of Stealing Money and Gambling Addiction
Some people will say that family is family, and family should be there for each other no matter what.
But there are some lines that a person should never cross, especially for the people they’re supposed to love the most, countered the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
While attending a funeral of all things, Redditor ImaginarySetting1856’s credit card went missing, which she realized later while attempting to get gas.
When it was uncovered who had stolen her card, the Original Poster (OP) had no problem reporting them to the police, despite the family ties.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for pressing charges against my boyfriend’s mother after she stole my card info?”
The OP recently attended a funeral with her boyfriend and future mother-in-law.
“I (22 Female) am dating Greg (25 Male). His mom is Lisa (70 Female). Lisa and her husband adopted Greg when Lisa was 45.”
“Last month, we attended a funeral for one of Greg’s and Lisa’s family members. After the service, everyone was mingling in the fellowship hall and eating, and Lisa stepped out for a smoke break.”
“I happened to see her, through one of the open church windows, get into the back seat of the car while lighting her cigarette, and then she started rummaging in the large bag that I brought along.”
“I didn’t think anything of it, as I had brought the bag so I could carry any extra things anybody needed, including lighters for instance, so I thought that’s what she was fishing for. I forgot that my wallet was also in that bag.”
“So I went back to socializing and supporting Greg.”
But then the OP realized that her debit card was missing.
“Two days later, I stopped by the gas station for some gas, and realized I was missing my card from my wallet.”
“I used ApplePay so I could get my gas, went home, and started searching. I also called Greg, who was at his parents’ home, and asked if he could search there and see if I misplaced it somehow.”
“I only take it out of my wallet if I’m using it and then put it right back in my wallet, but, I thought that maybe I was shuffling things in my wallet, put it down, and forgot about it.”
“I didn’t find my card, Greg didn’t find my card, and I decided to give it one more day before I canceled it because maybe it would just pop up. I had also not noticed any transactions through my bank app that weren’t from me, so I figured it might be fine.”
Then a surprising discovery was made.
“The next day, Greg texted me, saying he found my card on top of the washer. He said he didn’t know how he missed it, but it was there waiting when he went to do some laundry.”
“I told him I’d get it from him in a couple of days when he came back to our apartment.”
“The next day was payday, so I checked my account to see what I made, and I noticed directly below the direct deposit was a withdrawal for an Amazon order. The total was almost 350 dollars.”
“I hadn’t placed an order for anything from Amazon in weeks, and checking on my account confirmed that.”
“I asked Greg if he used my card to make a purchase, and he said no, of course not, and that he would never do so without asking.”
“I canceled the card and reported potential fraud, and then it was discovered that LISA had used my card for the purchase because she couldn’t find hers.”
Lisa had some explaining to do.
“She said she would pay me back soon and that she really needed what she purchased.”
“I don’t know what she bought, but I don’t care considering she STOLE my card.”
“She also apparently has a history of gambling and stealing, she has taken money from Greg before, and a driving factor of her divorce from Greg’s father was that she stole most of his savings while they were separated. He has never recovered the money, but it was almost half a million.”
The OP decided to take immediate action.
“I decided I would involve the cops, and now Lisa is furious and saying I’m being a brat and a lot of other insults and that I could have just waited for her to pay me back. Even though she also has a rep of not paying people.”
“Greg has excellent credit and basically no debt unless he has any recent charges to his credit card he hasn’t paid off this month. He mainly uses it for little things to build and keep good credit, and he has never had a problem with Lisa opening things under his name.”
“This is part of why we didn’t suspect she had stolen the card despite her history. She has taken a few dollars here and there and lied about it, or failed to pay Greg back, but she hasn’t committed any ID fraud with Greg’s info. The only person she’s really stolen more than twenty bucks from (that we know of) is her ex-husband, so this was originally quite a blindsiding event.”
“Hindsight is 20/20 and I will never trust her again. It’s unlikely I’ll ever speak to her again unless it becomes necessary for legal proceedings.”
“Some people think involving cops with family/partner’s family/future inlaws is a bad thing and inexcusable no matter what they did. I came from a weird background where family was held as the highest bond basically and if you turned your back on them or turned them in, you were a s**t person, even if they did something awful.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that she had done the right thing by reporting Lisa.
“You are NTA. You are not wrong for pressing charges because she can do it again to you and others. Lisa f**ked around and found out that her actions have consequences.” – Kangaroo-Pack-3727
“NTA. These are the right consequences. Her family and friends probably enabled this bad behavior for years. Earlier legal consequences might have made a difference.” – TabuTM
“NTA. She stole from you, then tried to turn it around and make you the bad guy? No thank you.”
“You did the right thing by involving the police. She broke the law, and your trust. She should get charged for her actions.”
“Don’t back down here.” – BulbasaurRanch
“You should have jumped on her when she was rummaging through your bag in the car and checked your cards immediately since she is a known thief. At least you now Know you cannot trust her at all.”
“She’s a criminal, and yet she calls you a brat! NTA, OP.” – Some-Geologist-5121
“Don’t stop with the report, OP. That’s a good start, but there’s more to do.”
“You know she had to enter your debit card info into her Amazon account to order that thing. Report the stolen card to Amazon, lock your credit (in case she uses your number to get credit for herself), and get a new debit card number issued from your bank. And monitor your credit going forward; who knows whether she took a photo of your ID or anything else she can use fraudulently.”
“NTA. Report the theft to the Police and get a report. Lock your valuables up in your shared apartment, because your BF isn’t going to keep her from coming over and potentially rummaging some more.” – thatgirlannie
Others were also supportive of Greg, who was in a tough position.
“NTA. She stole and probably wasn’t going to pay you back. Greg may not like it though, but she does need consequences. No doubt all the others around her enabled her instead of telling her she did wrong.” – lillies117
“NTA. That is credit card fraud plain and simple. If one of my parents stole my card, I would cut them off and bring charges against them. Lisa needs to sort out her gambling addiction and take a long hard look in the mirror.” – Alternate-Leek-2981
“NTA, and I am so glad Greg is on your side; he sounds like good people. His mother, on the other hand, stole from you and would not have paid you back, she would have told you that she ‘needed’ whatever cheap crap she bought from Amazon, and that as you’re almost FAAAAMILY you should just let it go.”
“Look, my brother’s ex-wife stole from everyone in my family, except for me, even though we have *the same exact name*. She didn’t try that sh*t with me because she knew that I saw through her from the jump.” – Acrobatic_Ear6773
“I’ll bet Greg DID know and quietly started looking for it once you told him it was missing. He was probably hoping she didn’t get a chance to use it yet.”
“And I want to add, I’m not blaming your boyfriend. I think if it DID go down like that, it’s because he was trying to fix it.”
“It must suck to have a family member like that, and maybe he was hoping he could run interference before she did any real damage, and it would go away.”
“He’s not even upset or surprised about the charges and is supporting the right person in this, YOU, but it’s almost like he knows this was inevitable. NTA to both of you, ALL of the YTA to her.” – madpeachiepie
The subReddit couldn’t believe the future mother-in-law’s gall to steal from her son’s girlfriend during a funeral… from her personal checking account, which could impact her ability to pay her bills or corner her into overdraft charges.
Being 70 years old, she already should have faced consequences that were much more severe than divorce. Perhaps with more consequences staring her in the face, she would start to change her tune, but unfortunately, we all know how set in their ways some people can be.