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Guy Irate When Wife Answers Honestly After His Mom Demands To Know How They Spent Honeymoon

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There are certain moments in our lives that are best left private.

Obviously, this can include painful histories and embarrassing moments, but for some, it can also include romantic getaways or intimate moments with loved ones.

What happens when someone repeatedly tries to breach that boundary and get at information that you might not be eager to share?

That was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) Bloom-Sparkle3769 when she came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for judgment.

She asked:

“AITA for my answer when my MIL insisted to know exaclty how my husband and I spent our honeymoon?”

OP began with a little background. 

“My husband ‘Jerry’, 31and I, 27 are newlyweds.”

“We just got back from our honeymoon and his mom (MIL who is a snoop in nature and who always wants to know about everything going on in her son’s life) invited us to her house multiple times for dinner.”

Then she got to the problem at hand.

“She kept insisting Jerry tell her everything that happened on the honeymoon. every single detail.”

“My husband kept giving her vague answers because we really didn’t do much other than spend time together but he admitted later that he could no longer handle the pressure from her.”

“She invited us for a BBQ get-together a few days ago.”

“And when everyone gathered to eat. MIL asked once again how the honeymoon was spent and I looked at Jerry and saw how annoyed he is.”

OP decided to end the conversation.

“I decided to handle the conversation and answer her question.”

“I responded by saying that we didn’t do much…we just had s*x NON-STOP.”

“I admitted how he was often on top but never seized to please me, and how I remember having him between my thighs most of the time.”

“How I loved it!”

“How he made me feel like I was the only woman in the world.”

“How I was mostly the one who initiated and he never ever turned me off.”

“Then said ‘it was bliss…’ MIL was stunned like absolutely stunned.”

“I then added  ‘”I mean we did go out a few times to look at some places but then went back and had”‘.


“Awkward silence for the whole family…then BIL goes ‘Soooo….anything else to talk about???”‘.

“MIL blew up at me calling me shameless and disrespectful for talking like this in front of her and family.”

“She then said the question was for my husband, not me but I told her that….you know since I was there then I figured I’d help out since he’s a bit of weak memory and she wanted ‘details'”.

“She at this point got up and got into an argument with me and told Jerry to take me out of there because I was no longer welcome.”

“We left and Jerry wasn’t happy with how I handled it.”

“Then his 2 sisters berated me up and down for ‘insulting’ their mom and embarrassing by talking in an inappropriate manner at the party and ruining the atmosphere.”

“They demanded I apologize and Jerry says it’s the only way but I’m not sure at this point because I felt like I had to do this to get her to stop asking.”

OP was left to wonder.


Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for some outside opinions.

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided: NTA

Some responses suggested scripting for the future.

“Agreed, and another way to handle people like this is just broken-record them.”

“Mom: ‘What did you do on your honeymoon?”‘

“You: ‘We’ve already told you all we’re sharing”‘.

“Mom: ‘I know, I know, but what ELSE did you do?”‘

“You: ‘We’ve already told you all we’re sharing”‘.

“Mom: ‘Did you go to any sight seeing activities? What food did you eat?”‘

“You: ‘We’ve already told you all we’re sharing”‘.

“Mom: ‘Why do you keep saying that?!”

“You: ‘Because we’ve already told you all we’re sharing”‘.

“Mom: ‘what is so wrong about wanting to know about your honeymoon?”‘

“You: ‘We’ve already told you all we’re sharing”‘.

“…repeat until she drops it. You don’t have to get angry or frustrated because Mom will get angry way before you will and she’ll seem unreasonable to everyone and give up.” ~ somewhat_pragmatic

“Seriously though…”

‘”I’m sorry, I thought you’d know from experience that most of the details from a honeymoon weren’t suitable for ‘polite company’, I figured since you kept pressing you weren’t bothered with us sharing. Was your honeymoon not like that?”‘

“Edit: better wording” ~ calliatom


“But, OP, in the future, don’t fall into your MIL’s hands.”

“Turn to her and say, ‘Is there a reason you keep asking? We’ve given you all the details, and now you’re asking for the fifteenth time. Is everything okay?”‘

“Hint that it’s a memory issue.”

“And then, if she keeps pushing in front of other people, turn to the others and say, ‘Does anyone want to tell her what married couples do on their honeymoon, because she keeps asking, and it’s getting very uncomfortable.”‘

“Or, whatever.”

“To everyone else it probably looks like the MIL asked for the first time and OP just went off on a crude tangent that makes her and her husband look bad, for saying that to her MIL.”

“Her response was absolutely justified, but I wouldn’t have taken the opportunity to say that in front of everyone when they haven’t seen the badgering up to this point.” ~ crystallz2000

Others had personal stories of their own.

“I was once at an Asian friend’s wedding, where I was one of very few white people.”

“My friend was the square to end all squares and I have not the slightest doubt that both parties were virgins. It was arranged by family, though they were keen on each other at least then.”

“One of the others, sitting beside me, asked an older Asian woman about what the proceedings were because the ceremony had actually taken place in private.”

“She explained in detail about the various things that had to happen now.”

“‘And what happens after that?” said the other white woman, still puzzled.”

“‘Well,” said the Asian lady, ‘I hope that goes well too”‘.~ HerefsAndrew

“This reminds me of my Mom being sarcastic to those people who react to letting us, her adult kids, go on trips with our SOs back when we were still single.”

“People ask her if she knows what we do on those trips.”

“She’ll just roll her eyes and say ‘What do you think they’re doing? Pray the Rosary and read the Bible during their trip?”’ 😂 ~ Dense_Implement8442

Not everyone was convinced that OP was NTA.

“I’m ok with being downvoted for this but ESH.”

“Your MIL for obvious reasons, your husband for not sufficiently setting a boundary, and you.”

“Imo, it is inappropriate and rude to discuss your s*x life with others WITHOUT THE CONSENT of the person you had s*x with.”

“Why didn’t you tell your husband you were going to do this, it sounds like it was your plan since he said he was getting annoyed.”

“I understand why you did it, to shame her for overstepping.”

“But did you consider that sharing those private intimate details embarrassed your husband and maybe tarnished his memories of your honeymoon?”

“I just find it ironic that in order to preserve the privacy and sanctity of your marriage you exposed your and his s*x life.”

“You basically sacrificed your husband to shame your mil.”

“This is why being passive aggressive doesn’t work.”

“Better to be direct and succinct(it was great) and if she asks for details tell her if she’s interested in a vacation there you can connect her with your travel agent or website, you guys are keeping details private.” ~ Boredread


“You had the perfect opportunity to take the high road and still point out her nosiness and you missed it. Work on outmaneuvering your MIL – not just shutting her up.”

“This would have been a more effective response:”

“‘Every time we see you, you’ve asked about our honeymoon.'”

“‘We told you what we did outside the bedroom. Are you prying into our s*x life now? Because it was our honeymoon – lots of s*x. Why do you want to know about that?”‘

“In other words – put her on the defensive without making her the victim.” ~ Mermaidtoo

The commenters mostly defended OP though.

“NTA, but it wasn’t a useful response.”

“In a lot of situations, people will excuse the person who is actually in the wrong.”

“By sinking to her level and just giving her what she asked for, you allowed them to paint you as a bad guy here, when you are not.”

“It’s sort of a pyrrhic victory to be in the right but they are all still going to act like you were in the wrong.”

“A better response is just asking specific, pointed questions about why she is asking in an emotionless way as possible.”

‘”Why are you asking for specific details of a couple’s honeymoon? What sort of answers are you looking for here. It is making us uncomfortable.”‘

“But… just because there was a better strategy to have taken to get what you wanted, it doesn’t mean you are at fault. So not the a**hole.” ~ ACorania

Privacy is important and enforcing that boundary sometimes means being firm with people who care about you.

Remember that your boundaries are yours to set and repeal at your discretion and that even the most well-intentioned questions can be invasive.



Written by Frank Geier

Frank Geier (pronouns he/him) is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama. He is an avid roleplayer and storyteller occasionally masquerading as a rational human.