If there’s one thing we’re all learning to navigate, it’s staying at home with the people we live with. Current events have made our time indoors a little more plentiful than we may have wanted.
This makes annoyances that only happen at home extra noticeable. Something that might have only bugged you once a week has quickly become a daily occurrence.
So what do you do when it’s your own mother causing your issue?
To find that out, Apoptotic_GrimReaper asked Reddit if she went too far. For that, she went to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) where you find out if you’re being a, well, you know.
Judgement of your actions takes the form of the following responses:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA -You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Our original poser (OP) explains her situation.
“My(23F[emale]) mom (57F) prays A LOT. I don’t believe in religion. But that has never really been a problem because we stay in our respective lanes. She doesn’t impose on me, I don’t interfere in her beliefs.”
“However, there is this one VERY annoying thing that she does. She begins praying in random places without caring whether it obstructs or disturbs other people or not. Frankly it gets frustrating.”
“She will explode if anyone as much as whispers around her when she’s praying because apparently her prayer is ruined and she has to start all over again. She has mild OCD so her prayers tend to be 20-30 minutes long.”
“Once her back was turned towards me in the kitchen and I asked if she could grab me a ladle so I could get her a saucer of stew. She exploded because she was praying at that time. Something similar happened when I needed to wash the dishes and she was praying RIGHT in front of the sink.”
“Another time, I couldn’t get a textbook from the bookshelf because she decided to pray there. I’m sick of having to wait so long just to get a book or a spoon or even just grab a water bottle.”
Luckily, this just happens around the house, but with everyone staying home so much, this has become unbearable for OP.
“I told her how this was bothering me and I’d appreciate it if she would designate a separate space in the house to pray or even just pray in the living room or something where she wouldn’t be an obstruction.”
“She became very offended and said it was constitutionally wrong of me to stop her from praying anywhere. She said that if I respected her at all, I wouldn’t even have suggested this.”
“I told her that by her own logic, constitutionally, I don’t have to oblige and wait just because she’s praying and constitutionally, I can move her aside and get on with my work because our house is not a designated place of worship or prayer.”
“But I do wait anyway because I DO respect her and her freedom to pray but she also needs to respect my time. She said I was being terrible and rude and an AH and my aunts and grandma have asked me to apologize to her, though they expressed sympathy for me.”
The internet quickly agreed that OP was NTA in this situation.
“NTA. Her freedom of religion extends until it touches the other person’s nose. So she can’t expect you to wait for her to move just because she’s praying, if she’s blocking things you need or want.” – Amara_Undone
“NTA your mother needs to see a therapist” – LunaPick
“NTA, but this sound compulsive. Your requests are very reasonable.” – mckinnos
More importantly, they became very worried for OP’s mom’s mental health. Based on the obsession and OP even saying her mother has ‘mild OCD’ it was quickly recommended that she seek therapy.
“NTA. It almost sounds like an issue with mental illness. Even if she had a space in every room, it would respect your boundaries and give her what she wants.” – MizBMickE
“It really is a mental health issue and I hope the OP can convince her to talk to someone about this urge to just stop and pray when she could get seriously hurt if she did this in public.” – Misc-fluff
“She only does this at home, not in public. She’s able to control herself in public but I think it’s mentally tiring for her and she doesn’t go out much unless it’s with very close people.”
“I’ve tried to take her out to our local lake and to movies and stuff just to have fun, tbh I’m not outgoing or extroverted myself but a breath of fresh air or change of scenery seems to help her. Since the whole corona situation, I think it’s gotten worse.” – Apoptotic_GrimReaper
A few even tried to find a compromise and asked if OP could set up an altar or specific prayer space for her mom.
A great way to allow her space to pray, while not interfering with OP.
“You might try making her a home altar somewhere around the areas she frequently stops. Hopefully, this might attract her to pray there instead of right in the way.”
“Unfortunately, her OCD might be more powerful than that. Hope she gets help soon” – NottaFarmer
“NTA. You need a work-around. Would she appreciate and “altar”? Or a prayer area? With pretty devotional art and objects? A quiet place, out of the way, for her to practice to her heart’s content?”
“Sell it to her as a space for her to concentrate, to really connect with her whatever.” – Square-Concept
As of writing, OP hasn’t been able to sit down with her mother and tried to come to a solution. Her mother is still upset.
Hopefully when they do have their talk, they can reach a resolution that allows OP to do her work, and let her mother pray.