Friends—in this case, sisters—can have diametrically opposed personalities and still claim to get on well with one another.
But as with anybody, there is always a tipping point if someone incessantly pokes and prods at their vulnerabilities.
Redditor mysisters-resister found her patience has run thin after years of being put down by her sister and it all came to a head in public.
But the way she reacted made her feel guilty, which led her to the "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) subReddit where she asked:
"AITA for calling out my sister on her lip injections?"
The Original Poster (OP) wrote:
"My older sister and I have always been best friends, but completely opposite."
"My sister is also extremely insecure, which is crazy because shes beautiful."
"She also recently got a divorce from her husband, as she was unfaithful and they couldn't work through it. She ended up going a bit off the deep end after the divorce, but nothing crazy...except lip injections."
"Neither of us have small lips, but she chose to inflate her top lip to a huge size, and she refuses to admit she got them done to me or any family."
"That's fine and I don't care, her body her choice--but I think its dumb to deny it."
"Anyways, she had a bad habit of putting me down to make herself feel better. I don't think she realizes this."
"I usually let it roll off my shoulders, because I love myself and Im okay with the way I look."
"However, when we went to the bar together and got to talking to a group of people, she would NOT stop bringing up how small my lips were compared to hers. I have no idea why."
"It was obnoxious, over and over again. I kept trying to steer the conversation away but she kept coming back to it."
As her confidence level tanked, the OP did not let the following insult "roll off" her shoulders.
"Finally when she said, 'Can you believe we are sisters?? Look how small her mouth is! Tiny! I dont know where I came from! My lips are so full compared to hers, its crazy.'"
"I turned to her and said, 'I know where your lips came from and its called Juviderm, can you please stop?'"
Juviderm is an injectable hyaluronic acid treatment that restores volume loss in certain areas of the face and is typically used to treat wrinkles and for augmenting the lips.
It seems the non-surgical treatment got a huge endorsement that night at the bar, and the OP started regretting making the retaliatory remark.
"I feel like such an a**hole now. We don't have the kind of relationship where we attack each other, but I was so tired of the years of constant put downs. AITA for telling her off?"
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A**holes Here
This Redditor wondered if the two siblings were as close as the OP claimed.
"NTA she was insulting you in front of others in what was clearly an attempt to get others to notice her lips and pass them off as real."
"You say that you don't have the type of relationship where you attack each other, but it seems like this is something she does to you often."
"Could you have approached it in a different way? Sure. E-S-H was almost my answer."
"Pointing out that someone paid for lip injections when they clearly needed to pay for therapy wasn't a great move."
"It really seems like your sister has a lot to work through. It sounds like it's time you two have an honest conversation about how her actions hurt you."
"Just because she doesn't realize she's putting you down doesn't mean it's okay." – millem1496
This Redditor encouraged the older sister to get professional help.
"your sister needs therapy. It's clear she's always had confidence+self-esteem issues, which were made worse by the affair and later the divorce."
"She needs help to understand love comes from within, and not from external validation, and also that's just stupid to put people down to feel better, because then you're not BECOMING better, but a worse person."
"If you think you can, talk to her about this. Low self-esteem is the gateway drug to A LOT of mental issues, and unhealthy relationships." – DancingCatflower
The OP clarified that her sister did have personal struggles but respected her privacy by withholding details.
"She has some mental issues that I'd rather keep private, which I think is also why I feel so awful."
"She went to a therapist but she just lied to them instead of being honest."
"It makes me extra sad to post this too, because other than this shes the most loving, supportive and wonderful person to me--shes just an extremely difficult person to deal with and we've all learned to just let her comments roll off."
But the sister was not exonerated for how she treats the OP.
"Just because someone has mental health issues does not give them the right to treat you like sh*t."
"By letting the comments 'roll off you,' you all are enabling her behavior. I get it, she's your sister, I have a sister who does the same sh*t to the point where my dad just started letting her abuse my 15 year old baby sister (she is 24, I'm 22) and stopped talking to ME when I called him out on it."
"My sister needs people to call her out on it and tell her she needs help- just like yours does but by just letting her be as she always has will only mean you have to take the abuse for the rest of your life."
"So decide what you want. I no longer talk to my dad or my toxic sister because I value myself too much to constantly be put down and belittled by a God damn adult." – SpyroRampage
When one Redditor asked if the "we" enabling the sister's behavior referred to the family, the OP confirmed:
"Yes. My family definitely goes along with it."
"I've brought it up to my mom before but she has always told me to 'just ignore it, shes just trying to make herself feel better.'"
"I try my best to, but Ive also had friends with a history of doing the same thing to me too, so its kind of hard to deal with at times. I feel like if we all sat down and talked to her, she'd cut us out."
This Redditor lauded the OP and encouraged her to keep calling her out on her B.S.
"NTA. Good on you for checking your sister on her sh**ty behavior."
"However, while you don't have a relationship where you don't attack each other, you clearly have a relationship where she attacks you."
"Sure, you take it because you don't let her get to you, but that's inappropriate for any relationship and needs to either be constantly checked with you snapping back at her or a conversation where you tell her you won't tolerate the disrespect." – GothlobReznik
This Redditor said the OP could benefit from some therapy as well.
"NTA. You said in another comment that your sister is the 'most loving, supportive and wonderful person to me' but really you've just normalized the verbal and emotional abuse that she's been heaping on to you for so long (in the name of protecting her fragility!) that you can't even see it for what it really is."
"Your sister is cruel, whether she means to be or not, and that's no excuse. Sit her down and tell her that the backhanded 'compliments' she doles out are callous and hurtful, and that you won't be putting up with that kind of treatment any longer. You're not doing any favors for either of you."
"It's been said in other comments that your sister could use therapy, but I think you would benefit from some as well." – badfeelsprettygood
The general consensus on Reddit was that the sister had it coming and the OP should never let future aspersions spouted by her sister "roll off" her shoulders.















New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.