Friends—in this case, sisters—can have diametrically opposed personalities and still claim to get on well with one another.
But as with anybody, there is always a tipping point if someone incessantly pokes and prods at their vulnerabilities.
Redditor mysisters-resister found her patience has run thin after years of being put down by her sister and it all came to a head in public.
But the way she reacted made her feel guilty, which led her to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit where she asked:
“AITA for calling out my sister on her lip injections?”
The Original Poster (OP) wrote:
“My older sister and I have always been best friends, but completely opposite.”
“My sister is also extremely insecure, which is crazy because shes beautiful.”
“She also recently got a divorce from her husband, as she was unfaithful and they couldn’t work through it. She ended up going a bit off the deep end after the divorce, but nothing crazy…except lip injections.”
“Neither of us have small lips, but she chose to inflate her top lip to a huge size, and she refuses to admit she got them done to me or any family.”
“That’s fine and I don’t care, her body her choice–but I think its dumb to deny it.”
“Anyways, she had a bad habit of putting me down to make herself feel better. I don’t think she realizes this.”
“I usually let it roll off my shoulders, because I love myself and Im okay with the way I look.”
“However, when we went to the bar together and got to talking to a group of people, she would NOT stop bringing up how small my lips were compared to hers. I have no idea why.”
“It was obnoxious, over and over again. I kept trying to steer the conversation away but she kept coming back to it.”
As her confidence level tanked, the OP did not let the following insult “roll off” her shoulders.
“Finally when she said, ‘Can you believe we are sisters?? Look how small her mouth is! Tiny! I dont know where I came from! My lips are so full compared to hers, its crazy.'”
“I turned to her and said, ‘I know where your lips came from and its called Juviderm, can you please stop?'”
Juviderm is an injectable hyaluronic acid treatment that restores volume loss in certain areas of the face and is typically used to treat wrinkles and for augmenting the lips.
It seems the non-surgical treatment got a huge endorsement that night at the bar, and the OP started regretting making the retaliatory remark.
“I feel like such an a**hole now. We don’t have the kind of relationship where we attack each other, but I was so tired of the years of constant put downs. AITA for telling her off?”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
This Redditor wondered if the two siblings were as close as the OP claimed.
“NTA she was insulting you in front of others in what was clearly an attempt to get others to notice her lips and pass them off as real.”
“You say that you don’t have the type of relationship where you attack each other, but it seems like this is something she does to you often.”
“Could you have approached it in a different way? Sure. E-S-H was almost my answer.”
“Pointing out that someone paid for lip injections when they clearly needed to pay for therapy wasn’t a great move.”
“It really seems like your sister has a lot to work through. It sounds like it’s time you two have an honest conversation about how her actions hurt you.”
“Just because she doesn’t realize she’s putting you down doesn’t mean it’s okay.” – millem1496
This Redditor encouraged the older sister to get professional help.
“your sister needs therapy. It’s clear she’s always had confidence+self-esteem issues, which were made worse by the affair and later the divorce.”
“She needs help to understand love comes from within, and not from external validation, and also that’s just stupid to put people down to feel better, because then you’re not BECOMING better, but a worse person.”
“If you think you can, talk to her about this. Low self-esteem is the gateway drug to A LOT of mental issues, and unhealthy relationships.” – DancingCatflower
The OP clarified that her sister did have personal struggles but respected her privacy by withholding details.
“She has some mental issues that I’d rather keep private, which I think is also why I feel so awful.”
“She went to a therapist but she just lied to them instead of being honest.”
“It makes me extra sad to post this too, because other than this shes the most loving, supportive and wonderful person to me–shes just an extremely difficult person to deal with and we’ve all learned to just let her comments roll off.”
But the sister was not exonerated for how she treats the OP.
“Just because someone has mental health issues does not give them the right to treat you like sh*t.”
“By letting the comments ‘roll off you,’ you all are enabling her behavior. I get it, she’s your sister, I have a sister who does the same sh*t to the point where my dad just started letting her abuse my 15 year old baby sister (she is 24, I’m 22) and stopped talking to ME when I called him out on it.”
“My sister needs people to call her out on it and tell her she needs help- just like yours does but by just letting her be as she always has will only mean you have to take the abuse for the rest of your life.”
“So decide what you want. I no longer talk to my dad or my toxic sister because I value myself too much to constantly be put down and belittled by a God damn adult.” – SpyroRampage
When one Redditor asked if the “we” enabling the sister’s behavior referred to the family, the OP confirmed:
“Yes. My family definitely goes along with it.”
“I’ve brought it up to my mom before but she has always told me to ‘just ignore it, shes just trying to make herself feel better.'”
“I try my best to, but Ive also had friends with a history of doing the same thing to me too, so its kind of hard to deal with at times. I feel like if we all sat down and talked to her, she’d cut us out.”
This Redditor lauded the OP and encouraged her to keep calling her out on her B.S.
“NTA. Good on you for checking your sister on her sh**ty behavior.”
“However, while you don’t have a relationship where you don’t attack each other, you clearly have a relationship where she attacks you.”
“Sure, you take it because you don’t let her get to you, but that’s inappropriate for any relationship and needs to either be constantly checked with you snapping back at her or a conversation where you tell her you won’t tolerate the disrespect.” – GothlobReznik
This Redditor said the OP could benefit from some therapy as well.
“NTA. You said in another comment that your sister is the ‘most loving, supportive and wonderful person to me’ but really you’ve just normalized the verbal and emotional abuse that she’s been heaping on to you for so long (in the name of protecting her fragility!) that you can’t even see it for what it really is.”
“Your sister is cruel, whether she means to be or not, and that’s no excuse. Sit her down and tell her that the backhanded ‘compliments’ she doles out are callous and hurtful, and that you won’t be putting up with that kind of treatment any longer. You’re not doing any favors for either of you.”
“It’s been said in other comments that your sister could use therapy, but I think you would benefit from some as well.” – badfeelsprettygood
The general consensus on Reddit was that the sister had it coming and the OP should never let future aspersions spouted by her sister “roll off” her shoulders.