Sex isn’t something to be ashamed of however, clear boundaries are important.
For one older sister those lines felt crossed when she discovered her younger brother was having sex somewhere he had no authority to.
Redditor Sunday479643 turned to the “Am I the A**hole” subReddit for perspective on her awkward sibling sitch.
She asked:
“AITA For no longer letting my brother take my car nightly after what I discovered?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained
“I (F32) have a younger brother (18) who’s struggling with transportation because of his recent medical condition. I let him take my car to go to his shift at 6 til 10 at a restaurant that’s not close to where me and my family lives.”
”My husband was perfectly okay with helping and supporting my brother. Both our parents are deceased my brother lives with me and as his big sister I’d get a little overprotective of him to be completely honest…”
“Anyway. I have a recording device inside my car for safety reasons and I only got it after my car was almost stolen and I became paranoid. Ever since I have dashboard camera but isn’t working currently.”
”Yesterday my husband was checking the recorder [to see] if it was working and he came to me to tell me that I needed to hear what has been recorded. I listened to some of it and it sounded like my brother was with someone-a female and after hearing some inappropriate words it was clear they both were doing it (the deed-) inside the car.”
”My husband looked red in the face after listening to it. I felt upset and enraged.”
“I talked to my brother right away. Basically started a huge argument about what he did.”
”My brother knows about the recording device of course he said he didn’t [think] it was working. Then said it just happened and he didn’t make plans for this to happen.”
”It was clearly not a one time thing I yelled at him because he was not respecting the fact that the car is my property and I just wanted to help him out of love but he was using that to his advantage by what he did.”
”The argument went til I told him he can’t take the car anymore. He pitched a fit saying I was cruel reminding that he can not stop going to work. I suggested public transportation but he made excuses about his health issues.”
”I stood my ground and refused to let him take my car after this. My husband says he’s just being a teenager and shouldn’t be too controlling about his personal business.”
“I’m not—that’s my car so it’s my business.”
“My brother has been criticizing me calling me unsupportive wanting me to give him a break. My husband can’t drive him since he works night shifts as well.”
“I still feel upset though I could have had more patience with him.“
The OP asked Redditors to weigh in and rule:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The judgement was that this sister was NTA for expecting her brother to not get it on in her car.
“NTA. He’s 18, he’s an adult. He can earn your trust back. The idea that he’s younger and dumb is so irritating.”
”He’s not that young and he will only stay dumb as long as people keep letting him get away with dumb stuff with no consequences. The car was for work. No getting some. He should have thought of how he was gonna get to work before using your car for an hour motel room.”~tiredandcranky89
“NTA if your husband thinks it’s no big deal and to cut him some slack. Then why not trade cars. Your husband takes your car and your brother takes your husbands car and when he has sex in that car too just tell him it’s no big deal right he’s just being a teenager.”~CODE_NAME_DUCKY
“NTA . Thats honestly really gross and unhygienic, he is an adult so should know better by now.”
”If he was apologetic and honest when confronted then a second chance would have been nice, but he argued, got defensive and recieved an appropriate consequence for his actions.”
“I remember what it was like to be a teenager, eagerly looking for anywhere private – and I would have found this disgusting and disrepectful. No one is entitled to sex, just because he is a ‘horny teenager’ and OP is housing him, does not mean he can shag on whatever property OP owns without consent.”
”If he was wanting some alone time he should have spoken to OP or figured something out with his lady friend. Or at least shown SOME degree of remorse for his actions.”
”Regardless, he works now so can afford a room for a night somewhere. And if he was so worried about getting to work safely he should have repsected OP’s property.”~mixed-switch
“NTA. You were nice enough to allow him to use your car for free. It’s gross for him to have sex in there.”
”It definitely crosses a boundary. He can have sex when he gets his own car all he wants but its common courtesy not to do it in someone else’s car.”~Turbulent-Being5212
“NTA. If he can work in a restaurant then he can take public transportation. Tell him to wash his hands often and mask up. Also, consider new seat covers.”~HelloMellen
“Easy NTA here. But, I would say that you all might be happier in the long run if you just told him you could use your car but that you’d be checking the recorder or tracking the car’s location.”
”He’s 18 and is an adult, so you don’t per se owe him a place to live and your car, but also I assume he needs some way to support himself to not be a financial burden on you. Just food for thought.”
“As I previously stated, I think you’re NTA and that you have a right to do what you want with your car, just that it might be better to set aside your pride for the sake of your home life.”~rorank
No one wants a surprise of bodily fluids having been exchanged in their car without consent.
Looks like a deep clean is in order.