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Woman Threatens To Call Police On Neighbor Mom Of Three For Using Her Pool Without Permission

Kids play in a pool

People’s homes are their sanctuaries.

Even when people open their homes to others frequently, it doesn’t mean it’s a lifetime pass.

Or does it?

Inviting in guests is like inviting in a vampire.

Once they’re in, it’s your issue.

So laying down the law of who visits is imperative.

But it can cause some drama.

Case in point…

Redditor hippajibba wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for not letting my neighbor and her kids swim in our pool?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I 29 F[emale] live with my husband 30 M[ale] in a nice house in a smaller town.”

“We have double income, no kids.”

“Our house has a pool in the yard, it’s really nice since it does get quite hot during summers.”

“Our neighbor 32 F is a single mom of three, her house doesn’t have a pool and it’s a lot smaller than ours.”

“Both me and my husband babysit for her sometimes which is why I know this.”

“Yesterday morning when my husband had already left for work and I had started to work from home, I heard noises from our yard.”

“Our houses in here aren’t right next to each other so it’s quite easy to tell that the noise is from your yard.”

“So I went to check and our neighbor and her kids were swimming in our pool.”

“I was confused since she has never come to our house uninvited.”

“But I went to talk to her and asked what was going on.”

“She explained that she had a day off from work so she wanted to do something nice with her kids so she decided to ‘borrow’ our pool since we don’t have much use for it since we are child-free.”

“I asked her nicely to leave since they had come uninvited and were there without our permission.”

“She thought I was joking but when I asked again she got defensive and demanded that I should give her valid reasoning why she and her kids can’t be there.”

“I didn’t give her reasonings but I told her that I would call the police if she didn’t leave and told her not to show up uninvited again.”

“She did leave but kept cursing at me.”

“And even accused me of classicism.”

“I think it’s important to mention that because we live in an area where the houses aren’t right next to each other and you can’t see inside our house even for the furthest point of our yard.”

“So me and my husband tend to hang out just in underwear or sometimes naked.”

“So I was shocked to find her there just using our pool so comfortably.”

“My neighbor has been mad at me since and she has bad-mouthed me to others in the neighborhood.”

“I told my husband and my parents about this.”

“My husband and my dad think what I did was reasonable but my mom told me that I should have been more understanding to her since she works hard and is a single mom of three.”

“But I feel like she didn’t care about our privacy at all.”

“So am I the a**hole?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“If she complains again or badmouths you in the neighborhood, remind her, and everyone, it is also a liability issue for you if someone were to get hurt while swimming.”

“Just because you have a pool does not make it the friendly neighborhood pool, and she was trespassing at the least, stealing by using your pool at the worst.”

“Remind Mom of the possible consequences of her actions as well.”

“It’s also possible that her kids would just show up without her, making it even more dangerous.”

“Thinking it’s good to do it with mom there, they can do it without her.”

“Your Mom also needs to be reminded.” ~ dhbroo12

“I’m a single mom with 2 kids and I feel weird about going to FAMILY member’s houses to swim when they’ve given us an open invitation to just swim whenever.”

“I have a cousin who works really hard and basically made him and his wife a huge event space with a big pool and they told all of us to just come whenever we want. Even then.”

“Even when I know it’s okay.”

“I would want to ask first before I would go.”

“I can’t imagine just showing up in someone’s yard without ever asking. the audacity, honestly. NTA!” ~ SpudTicket

“NTA Absolutely.”

“It is a huge liability for her or anyone to be in your pool without permission and without oversight.”

“What if one of the children has an accident or drowns he would be liable.”

“I would put up signs saying private property, or whatever is customary in your own country to let everyone know this is not something that can be shared without permission.” ~ Myobright2344

“This is very very important!!!”

“Please be sure you have a lockable fence around your pool!”

“Also, double-check your homeowner’s insurance policy.”

“You are entirely in the right here and in NOW WAY are you the a**hole, OP!”

“This woman was trespassing on your property and teaching her young children to do the same.”

“A person with a lack of morals and consideration like her would be highly likely to sue you should an accident occur in your pool.”

“Be careful!!”  ~ AlmeMore

“NTA. Absolutely agree with OP and everyone else.”

“Please arrange to lock your gate and ensure your backyard is fenced securely as it’s an ‘attractive nuisance’ that means you have to keep it secure as it’s risky for children unseen to swim in a swimming pool. You?”

“Your next-door neighbor is outrageous for trespassing into your garden and then pool, letting her children play in your swimming pool without any permission.”

“It’s yours, not hers.”

“She would have been more sensible to have asked you nicely one day that you were home, as a one-off.”

“And hoped that on hot days you might invite them over again… she can use the public swimming pools like everyone else.”

“Now you would be sensible to never let her use it because of how downright entitled and nasty she’s been.”

“She’s clearly a person who will take a mile off you offer an inch (English phrase for overstepping and not respecting what is yours, not hers).”

“Also, How does she know you’d not just put lots of chemicals in it to clean it?” ~ JSJ34

“NTA. Not only was it important that your neighbor isn’t trespassing on your property and using your pool without permission.”

“But depending on where you are if one of those kids gets hurt using your pool then you could be liable.”

“What that mother did was out of pocket.”

“Stick to your guns and get a motion-activated camera to make sure she’s not still using the pool.” ~ Choice_Werewolf1259

“Agreed – even if she had permission, it’s a legal liability issue if she or her kids gets hurt.”

“This is why pools are called ‘attractive nuisances’ by insurance companies, and why my folks never put one in, even though we have a ton of space in the back.”

“Even if you have security cameras and locked fences up, proving that she was trespassing and did not have your permission to be there or to use the pool, she can still sue you for the damages.”

“Her using ‘you’re classist’ is factually not true; she needs a dictionary.”

“It’s not ‘classist’ to expect permission to be asked for the use of YOUR PRIVATE PROPERTY by others, especially when you’re assuming ALL of the legal risks.”

“Nor is it classist to not want your private property to be used by others at all in order to protect yourself from that very legal liability and risk.”

“You bought and paid for it, and not for others’ use, unlike, say, donating to the updating of a public park or another public-use place, for which public input would take precedence.”

“If she wants a pool, she can get her own; a pool is neither a right nor a requirement but a privilege.”

“Put up an electrified security fence and cameras, and maybe even get a trained guard dog as a deterrent (this will also keep wildlife out of your pool, so they don’t drown either); no doubt she’ll try to get in again when you’re not around.”

“I’d also call up the police non-emergency number and ask their advice for a group of neighbors who keeps trespassing to use your pool without permission and after you’ve explicitly told them ‘no.'”

“Needless to say, NTA – minimize the risk to yourself.”  ~ TigerShark_524

“NTA. First, this is YOUR pool and you get to decide who can use it, much like you can decide who can just walk into your house.”

“Second, there are liability issues if anyone gets hurt or worse.”

“Third, when people start demanding your things, they have lost the moral high ground.”

“This neighbor and her kids will just have to find another place to swim until she sincerely apologizes and agrees to abide by your terms.”  ~ FuzzyMom2005

OP came back with some details…

“Thank you for all the advice.”

“We have purchased locks and cameras for our pool (we already have a fence).”

“Also, we live in the US, but we were both born in China and later moved here, we met in university here in the US.”

“Also, we were babysitting for free, but we are not going to continue doing so.”

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

People can’t just come onto your property whenever without permission.

Your house. Your rules.

Hopefully, this doesn’t cause a big issue with the neighborhood.

That can be uncomfortable.

But show everyone this article, and maybe they’ll understand.

And bad for your neighbor.

Losing free babysitters is a HUGE deal.