Sustaining a strong relationship as a roommate can be difficult.
But as long as everyone remains respectful of each other's personal spaces, keep common areas clean, and above all else, respects each other's privacy, it's not too difficult to remain on good terms.
However, things are bound to get a little more complicated when one roommate invades the other's privacy.
Redditor omgjdh's roommate was respectful of his privacy.
Unfortunately, his roommate's girlfriend was not, constantly barging into his bedroom when he was still asleep.
Having finally had enough, the original poster (OP) came up with a solution he was confident would scare his roommate's girlfriend from ever barging in on him again.
His tactic was successful, though not at all appreciated by the OP's roommate or his girlfriend.
Wondering if he had gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors.
"AITA for sleeping naked because my roommate's girlfriend keeps waking me up?"
The OP shared how after his roommate's girlfriend barged in on him one too many times, he came up with a plan to ensure she would never do so again.
"I (19 M[ale]) have a roommate."
"He has a girlfriend (call her L) since they have been seeing each other and when she's been staying around she has walked in on me and pulled the covers off as a joke."
"She's also walked in on me and my girlfriend which was the final straw."
"My roommate has been doing nothing about this saying, 'I can't control her'."
"A few days ago my girlfriend was in our flat and so was L."
"My girlfriend has been getting pissed at L walking in on us."
"I told her to sleep naked, and she will stop probably."
"At 6 me and my girlfriend was sleeping and L busted threw the door and saw us butt naked together."
"She screamed like she saw a murderer scene."
"My roommate walked in and told us we should have been wearing clothes."
"I told him that she needs to learn about privacy first."
"He told us we were acting childish."
"We didn't care if we were acting childish she needed to know that it's weird walking in on people like that."
"I ordered a lock."
"So AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for frightening L away by sleeping naked.
Everyone agreed that L's behavior was invasive and obnoxious, and she got what she deserved by walking in on the OP and his girlfriend in their birthday suits.
"What on earth did I just read?"
"A grown woman, who doesn't live in your place, is bursting into YOUR bedroom and waking you up?"
"I wouldn't allow her back into your home."
"That's just not okay on so many levels."
"NTA but holy crap."- bokatan778
"WTF?"
"NTA?"
"So if I'm reading this correctly they're upset because your roommate's GF has a weird obsession with barging in your room (early AF keep in mind, who TF barges into their BF's roommate's room at 6 am?), and is upset she found you and your GF naked under YOUR covers, in YOUR bed, in YOUR ROOM after she decided to barge in and rip your covers off?"
"if anything a sane person would be EXPECTING the possibility of you guys being naked in bed together, correct?"
"I am HIGHLY confused about her logic and roommate's logic."
"Wow."- nana2vibrant
"NTA obviously, but get a lock."- 2ndgenerationcatlady
"NTA."
"Your roommate has a responsibility for his guests in the apartment."
"If he 'can't control' his girlfriend, then she shouldn't be there."
"What she is doing by invading your space and pulling the covers off of you isn't a joke."
"It's harassment, and it needs to stop."
"I would have done exactly what you did."- MerryMoose923
"I am a university professor."
"What you described sounds like you're roommates at a university."
"If you are, speak to your student conduct office."
"What she's doing counts as sexual harassment."
"I suspect your roommate and her will sing a different tune once they talk to the student conduct office."-Worldsgreatestfrog
"Gotta start barging into roommate's room."
"Maybe at 3 am."
"Bc he can't control you and if he reacts badly he's being childish."- Current-Practice2664
"Spray bottle with stinky water."
"OR."
"You scream bloody murder at her when she does it, and called her a sexual offender, because clearly she wants to see people having sex without their consent."-Rohini_rambles
"Curious."
"She walked in on you and your GF (& I assume you were intimate) and nothing."
"But walked in on you two sleeping naked and screams?"
"NTA either way."- Poesy-WordHoard
"Your roommate can kindly f*ck a hat."
"You were in a bedroom."
"The f*ck was she doing inside it?"- checco314
"NTA."
"You asked nicely first."
"She disregarded your request."
"Well, you went for the shock value, and it seems to be working.
"Maybe she'll finally learn."- Sunny_Hill_1
"Your roommate's GF needs some f*ckin boundaries."
"You can sleep however you want in your room."
"NTA."- Ogreguy
"NTA."
"You can sleep naked."
"She can't just walk up on you and take the sheets away, just to get angry that you sleep as you do."
"She has to respect your privacy."- AlHazard33
"NTA."
"She f*cked around and found out eh."- ameanjew
"NTA."
"She is weird."
"What is the purpose of this?"
"Her 'jokes' are childish and an invasion of privacy."
"Have you flat-out asked her to stop?"
"Also, can't you get a lock?"- Ok-Context1168
"NTA."
"Bet she doesn't walk in again."
"What she was doing was the childish action and just plain rude."- Zestyclose-Egg6211
"NTA."
"The roommate's girl is the only AH here."- Minute_Patient_8841
"NTA, why would anyone feel that it's appropriate to do that."
"That is your home."
"You are meant to feel comfortable there, and this sounds like anything but comfortable."
"The lack of self-awareness is appalling."
"I suggest you start locking your bedroom door and have a very serious discussion with your roommate about boundaries."- looklikecollege
"She's invading your privacy and it's just weird that she just comes into your room to pull the covers off your bodies, like what's the point in her doing that?"- Ambby94
"NTA."
"Sounds like she got what she wanted."
"A peek at your pee pee."- magic-money-tree
"NTA."
"Get a darn door wedge and put a stop to her stupid antics already."- jammy913
"NTA."
"If she can't respect closed doors that's just something that's gonna happen."- Specialist_Tea8851
"NTA but there is zero chance she's doing this by accident or 'as a joke'."- WiseBat
"NTA."
"How on earth would anyone be the a**hole other than the GF for doing the thing and the roommate for not stopping that behavior."
"Time to install door locks."- archiotterpup
"NTA!"
"This post made my day."
"I needed a good laugh, and you delivered full bore!"- Capelily
"Casually ask her if she wants to join in, good chance it never happens again."
"On the other hand maybe she will take you up on it and you can tell your friend 'sorry I can't control her'."
"Either way sounds like a win/win."- zbreima
"NTA."
"She was the one acting childish, and she got a very adult wake-up call."-Existing-Quote7936
"Hahahaha!"
"Well played."
"Masterful."
"A solid, nonconfrontational solution."
"I applaud you."
"NTA, but voyeur certainly is."- cheezitapplepie
"Gotta get pepper spray for keeping away the crazy."
"NTA."- blonde_Cupid
"NTA."
"BTW, he could tell her to stop doing it."
"It's a real lazy cop-out to say he doesn't control her."
"No, he doesn't, but she should be decent enough to listen."- Rocking_Horse_Fly
"NTA."
"Honestly sounds like she is wanting to walk in on you and or your GF in the nude, lock is probably a good idea."- Nalpona_Freesun
"Invest in a super soaker and keep it by the bed."
"If she wants to barge in like an animal then start treating her like one."
"NTA."- The-Additional-Pylon
"NTA she's a creep and a pervert."
"She should be banned from your place."
"She's lucky she didn't get a physical reaction."
"I know some people who will instinctively thrash out their arms if startled in their sleep."
"Next time she started screaming start screaming back at her like Buffalo Bill did his captive."-paul_rudds_drag_race
"NTA."
"And BTW, good one."- kistner
"NTA."
"She is way out of line."
"Tell roommate to tell her to cut that sh*t out, or there will be serious consequences going forward."- AlbaTejas
It's simply common courtesy to knock before entering a room with a closed door.
Particularly when it's not even in your own home.
As many people pointed out above, L should honestly consider herself lucky that she didn't walk into anything more than the OP and his girlfriend naked in bed.
One can only hope this experience taught her to knock.
Woman Asks If It's Wrong To Cancel Date After He Makes Too Many Sexual Comments
Dating can be really hard, because let's be honest, as fun as it's supposed to be, there are some very strange prospects out there.
While some might just be socially awkward, there are definitely some walking red flags, ready to push every boundary, cautioned the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Suspicious_End_441 had been talking to a guy for a little while and was planning to go on a first date with him when he started sending her increasingly inappropriate text messages.
But when his texts went far past her comfort zone, especially for someone she'd never met, the Original Poster (OP) planned to call off the date and truly never meet the guy in real life.
She asked the sub:
The OP had been talking to a guy and was looking forward to going on a first date with him.
"For context, I (30 Female) met this guy online and have been talking to him the past few days."
"He asked me out, and we planned a date for today. He seems really nice so far."
"I like him, but he’s made a couple of comments that maybe seem like a red flag to me."
"First off, I did my nails for the date, and he asked me to send him a picture, so I did."
"Then he made some comment like, 'Those would look great wrapped around something.'"
"I kinda brushed it off because I know that’s how some guys are... but it did give me the ick a little."
"Then I asked him to tell me more about himself, and the second thing he told me was that he has a high sex drive."
The potential date texted:
The OP no longer liked the idea of dating the guy.
"Don’t get me wrong, I’m no prude, but this made me slightly uncomfortable. I’m wondering what reason you would need to tell this to someone you haven’t even met yet."
"I didn’t think he would be expecting sex on a first date, but this made me rethink."
"I’m also recovering from a surgery that I had three weeks ago, and he knows this. So that literally isn’t even an option for me, not that I would wanna do that on a first date anyway."
The OP considered never meeting the guy in person.
"I kind of feel like he’s making too many sexual comments too quickly, especially considering I didn’t engage with his first comment at all."
"Am I overreacting, feeling like I maybe want to cancel the date and block him?"
"I just feel like these comments are an indicator of his expectations... or maybe he is just 'being a guy'?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some had second-hand "ick" from reading that text message.
"NOR. My face when I read that text: [Dan Levy from 'Schitt's Creek']" - Unlikely_Captain_499
"I’d nope out right after the nails comment. After I blast him for being completely out of line." - WHYohWhy__MEohMY
"If he’s that comfortable saying stuff like that before he meets you, imagine what he’ll say after he knows you better." - ScrambledNoggin
"Gross. That joke should be saved for wife or long-term girlfriend where you know you'll get a laugh... or more accurately, an eye-roll and a 'threat' to not sleep with him for the next three months, LOL." - HovercraftIII1258
"Every time I get my nails done, my husband says something similar to that, and I always reply, 'I think they'd look good jammed in your eye sockets,' and we both laugh, LOL. But we've been married for over a decade. When we met and when we were dating, he was incredibly polite and possibly TOO slow in making advances. THIS is gross." - wingin_it0618
"This is exactly what I expect as a response from a man heavily in the dating scene right now. Like, sex is fine, but this guy really couldn't wait to go out on the date that was already set up and chill for ONE d**n night? If the girl is into you, it will happen when it happens. It says to me like he has no self-control." - BrayIsreal
"If he's giving you the ick, listen to that. It's not going to go away. Don't waste your own time or his. Plenty more fish in the sea, girl." - Zieglest
"As a man who is heavily in the dating world right now, that sounds like such a turn off, and any self-respecting girl who wants an actual relationship would not even talk to him anymore after this. It's so cringey and makes all of us guys look like there's no reason we want to go out with them other than getting laid. As a guy, it's really annoying; it makes girls weirded out by all of us. Sigh."
"Like, sex is fine, but this guy really couldn't wait to go out on the date that was already set up and chill for ONE d**n night? If the girl is into you, it will happen when it happens. It says to me like he has no self-control."
"That was the dumbest thing he could say to kill his chances. I wouldn't bother with him." - BrayIsReal
"NOR, I wouldn’t want to go anymore either. Making multiple sexual comments before even meeting someone is purposeful, and I doubt he remembers that you can’t do anything due to your surgery or even considers whether you want to."
"Don’t brush off how your gut makes you feel. If you are uncomfortable, then you are under no obligation to go." - AliBari
Others urged the OP to listen to her gut, not to go on that date, and to immediately block the guy.
"If he is already this forward, making sexual comments to a complete stranger, then it will only increase from here; he’s not going to suddenly stop. OP, if he already makes you feel uncertain or pressured, then don’t bother." - saiphxo
"Your gut is telling you something and wants to keep you safe. Don't ignore it." - SparkEli1
"Stay far, far away from this guy. Block. Don't look back. Men like this use high sex drive as a disclaimer for zero boundaries later." - CompetitionLankys
"Trust your intuition. Don’t go."
"I (39 Female) am very comfortable with casual sex and hook-ups. When single, I have never needed an emotional connection with a man to let off some steam. I don’t need him to make me feel special or like we have potential. I don’t need to know his hopes and dreams. I separate men into 'just sex' and 'potential for more' easily."
"I do need him to show the most basic level of respect and not be a creep. I would stop talking to this guy the instant he started speaking like that, even if my intention was to just f**k him."
"We are already talking, we are already about to go on a date, why is he turning it creepy sexual, what is that doing for either of us. It just speaks to a lack of judgment, I wouldn’t want to trust. If he can’t handle a basic text conversation without being a creep, why would I trust him to be alone with me?" - TheCa11ousB**h
"Ok, so I'm a degenerate, but even I wouldn't say something like 'those would look good wrapped around something' to a person I'd never met."
"I mean... do I have to be dad here and say the obvious? It's some guy on the internet who's looking to f**k. Is that really what you want? He can't even be bothered to type the d in the word 'and.'"
"Also, your nails look cool." - skippybeefree
"I’m more insulted that it’s just a terribly uncreative line. This guy's a bum!"
"Also, it's a huge red flag is the first thing he describes himself as a clean freak and needs things done his way. Sounds like a control freak, which would make me dip out immediately." - JeromeBarkley
"Only you know what you need to do. Feel safe. Feel comfortable. Feel SAFE!"
"If you don't, then cancel."
"Some men (I am a man) sometimes say way too much way too soon, and some men don't know how to hold a decent conversation. Sometimes just telling them how you feel about the sexual comments and seeing his reaction will tell you more than anything else he has ever said to you up until this point."
"But always remember you can choose to back out at any point in a date, even if you turn up to have dinner but can't walk in. The same goes for him as well if he turns up but doesn't walk in. We all have the right to feel safe and comfortable, especially on a first date." - Ok_goal6591
It was possible that the guy was just excited about the date, nervous to talk to someone new, socially awkward, or just joking at an inappropriate level.
Unfortunately, though, it was much more likely that these comments indicated the guy's expectations for the first date and how he would treat the OP if she set boundaries, especially regarding his inability to perform after surgery for safety reasons.
While it would be fun to meet someone new, it was much safer for the OP to wait for someone else.