Sustaining a strong relationship as a roommate can be difficult.
But as long as everyone remains respectful of each other's personal spaces, keep common areas clean, and above all else, respects each other's privacy, it's not too difficult to remain on good terms.
However, things are bound to get a little more complicated when one roommate invades the other's privacy.
Redditor omgjdh's roommate was respectful of his privacy.
Unfortunately, his roommate's girlfriend was not, constantly barging into his bedroom when he was still asleep.
Having finally had enough, the original poster (OP) came up with a solution he was confident would scare his roommate's girlfriend from ever barging in on him again.
His tactic was successful, though not at all appreciated by the OP's roommate or his girlfriend.
Wondering if he had gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors.
"AITA for sleeping naked because my roommate's girlfriend keeps waking me up?"
The OP shared how after his roommate's girlfriend barged in on him one too many times, he came up with a plan to ensure she would never do so again.
"I (19 M[ale]) have a roommate."
"He has a girlfriend (call her L) since they have been seeing each other and when she's been staying around she has walked in on me and pulled the covers off as a joke."
"She's also walked in on me and my girlfriend which was the final straw."
"My roommate has been doing nothing about this saying, 'I can't control her'."
"A few days ago my girlfriend was in our flat and so was L."
"My girlfriend has been getting pissed at L walking in on us."
"I told her to sleep naked, and she will stop probably."
"At 6 me and my girlfriend was sleeping and L busted threw the door and saw us butt naked together."
"She screamed like she saw a murderer scene."
"My roommate walked in and told us we should have been wearing clothes."
"I told him that she needs to learn about privacy first."
"He told us we were acting childish."
"We didn't care if we were acting childish she needed to know that it's weird walking in on people like that."
"I ordered a lock."
"So AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for frightening L away by sleeping naked.
Everyone agreed that L's behavior was invasive and obnoxious, and she got what she deserved by walking in on the OP and his girlfriend in their birthday suits.
"What on earth did I just read?"
"A grown woman, who doesn't live in your place, is bursting into YOUR bedroom and waking you up?"
"I wouldn't allow her back into your home."
"That's just not okay on so many levels."
"NTA but holy crap."- bokatan778
"WTF?"
"NTA?"
"So if I'm reading this correctly they're upset because your roommate's GF has a weird obsession with barging in your room (early AF keep in mind, who TF barges into their BF's roommate's room at 6 am?), and is upset she found you and your GF naked under YOUR covers, in YOUR bed, in YOUR ROOM after she decided to barge in and rip your covers off?"
"if anything a sane person would be EXPECTING the possibility of you guys being naked in bed together, correct?"
"I am HIGHLY confused about her logic and roommate's logic."
"Wow."- nana2vibrant
"NTA obviously, but get a lock."- 2ndgenerationcatlady
"NTA."
"Your roommate has a responsibility for his guests in the apartment."
"If he 'can't control' his girlfriend, then she shouldn't be there."
"What she is doing by invading your space and pulling the covers off of you isn't a joke."
"It's harassment, and it needs to stop."
"I would have done exactly what you did."- MerryMoose923
"I am a university professor."
"What you described sounds like you're roommates at a university."
"If you are, speak to your student conduct office."
"What she's doing counts as sexual harassment."
"I suspect your roommate and her will sing a different tune once they talk to the student conduct office."-Worldsgreatestfrog
"Gotta start barging into roommate's room."
"Maybe at 3 am."
"Bc he can't control you and if he reacts badly he's being childish."- Current-Practice2664
"Spray bottle with stinky water."
"OR."
"You scream bloody murder at her when she does it, and called her a sexual offender, because clearly she wants to see people having sex without their consent."-Rohini_rambles
"Curious."
"She walked in on you and your GF (& I assume you were intimate) and nothing."
"But walked in on you two sleeping naked and screams?"
"NTA either way."- Poesy-WordHoard
"Your roommate can kindly f*ck a hat."
"You were in a bedroom."
"The f*ck was she doing inside it?"- checco314
"NTA."
"You asked nicely first."
"She disregarded your request."
"Well, you went for the shock value, and it seems to be working.
"Maybe she'll finally learn."- Sunny_Hill_1
"Your roommate's GF needs some f*ckin boundaries."
"You can sleep however you want in your room."
"NTA."- Ogreguy
"NTA."
"You can sleep naked."
"She can't just walk up on you and take the sheets away, just to get angry that you sleep as you do."
"She has to respect your privacy."- AlHazard33
"NTA."
"She f*cked around and found out eh."- ameanjew
"NTA."
"She is weird."
"What is the purpose of this?"
"Her 'jokes' are childish and an invasion of privacy."
"Have you flat-out asked her to stop?"
"Also, can't you get a lock?"- Ok-Context1168
"NTA."
"Bet she doesn't walk in again."
"What she was doing was the childish action and just plain rude."- Zestyclose-Egg6211
"NTA."
"The roommate's girl is the only AH here."- Minute_Patient_8841
"NTA, why would anyone feel that it's appropriate to do that."
"That is your home."
"You are meant to feel comfortable there, and this sounds like anything but comfortable."
"The lack of self-awareness is appalling."
"I suggest you start locking your bedroom door and have a very serious discussion with your roommate about boundaries."- looklikecollege
"She's invading your privacy and it's just weird that she just comes into your room to pull the covers off your bodies, like what's the point in her doing that?"- Ambby94
"NTA."
"Sounds like she got what she wanted."
"A peek at your pee pee."- magic-money-tree
"NTA."
"Get a darn door wedge and put a stop to her stupid antics already."- jammy913
"NTA."
"If she can't respect closed doors that's just something that's gonna happen."- Specialist_Tea8851
"NTA but there is zero chance she's doing this by accident or 'as a joke'."- WiseBat
"NTA."
"How on earth would anyone be the a**hole other than the GF for doing the thing and the roommate for not stopping that behavior."
"Time to install door locks."- archiotterpup
"NTA!"
"This post made my day."
"I needed a good laugh, and you delivered full bore!"- Capelily
"Casually ask her if she wants to join in, good chance it never happens again."
"On the other hand maybe she will take you up on it and you can tell your friend 'sorry I can't control her'."
"Either way sounds like a win/win."- zbreima
"NTA."
"She was the one acting childish, and she got a very adult wake-up call."-Existing-Quote7936
"Hahahaha!"
"Well played."
"Masterful."
"A solid, nonconfrontational solution."
"I applaud you."
"NTA, but voyeur certainly is."- cheezitapplepie
"Gotta get pepper spray for keeping away the crazy."
"NTA."- blonde_Cupid
"NTA."
"BTW, he could tell her to stop doing it."
"It's a real lazy cop-out to say he doesn't control her."
"No, he doesn't, but she should be decent enough to listen."- Rocking_Horse_Fly
"NTA."
"Honestly sounds like she is wanting to walk in on you and or your GF in the nude, lock is probably a good idea."- Nalpona_Freesun
"Invest in a super soaker and keep it by the bed."
"If she wants to barge in like an animal then start treating her like one."
"NTA."- The-Additional-Pylon
"NTA she's a creep and a pervert."
"She should be banned from your place."
"She's lucky she didn't get a physical reaction."
"I know some people who will instinctively thrash out their arms if startled in their sleep."
"Next time she started screaming start screaming back at her like Buffalo Bill did his captive."-paul_rudds_drag_race
"NTA."
"And BTW, good one."- kistner
"NTA."
"She is way out of line."
"Tell roommate to tell her to cut that sh*t out, or there will be serious consequences going forward."- AlbaTejas
It's simply common courtesy to knock before entering a room with a closed door.
Particularly when it's not even in your own home.
As many people pointed out above, L should honestly consider herself lucky that she didn't walk into anything more than the OP and his girlfriend naked in bed.
One can only hope this experience taught her to knock.
Woman Irate After 'Misogynistic' Date 'Insults' Her In Front Of Waiter For Interrupting Him
While dating is supposed to be fun and the best way to find new love, some people are just not meant to date each other.
Fortunately, people can get out of dating someone, and no reason is too small or petty, members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit pointed out.
Redditor Mental_Driver_6134 had been dating a guy on and off for over a year, and while things were okay, there hadn't been a particular reason to make the relationship more serious.
When they went on a date, and the guy publicly insulted her for interrupting him and speaking out of turn, the Original Poster (OP) was not certain it was worth going on another date with him or continuing to string this situationship along.
She asked the sub:
At a restaurant, the OP's date wasn't being clear while speaking with the waiter.
"I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall."
"When the waiter came to take the order, he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically, he didn't want too much garlic in chili burnt garlic noodles."
"Everything was going fine, but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really getting to the main point, which was less garlic."
"I chimed in and casually said, 'We just want less garlic.'"
"But I couldn't even complete the sentence before he said to me in front of the waiter, 'If you're gonna cut me off like this, I'm not giving any orders, okay?!' in the rudest way possible."
The moment ruined the date for the OP.
"I just went quiet after that. He quickly realized that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that, 'Okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards.'"
"I was really p**sed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene."
"On our way back home, he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquette and that I should have at least said, 'Can I give my opinion here?- before cutting him off."
"It kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and 'The Man,' I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order."
"The whole tone was so misogynistic."
"He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly, which I didn't mind as basic banter, and I told him that there are forks and spoons kept here; it's not necessary to use the chopsticks (he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks)."
"When the noodles came, he said that we could use forks then, and I was like, 'No, why not use chopsticks here, as well? You should watch more anime, maybe,' and he then went on to brag about having been to many five-star restaurants, which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any 'real experience.'"
The OP was over it by the end of the conversation.
"I was too exhausted from this; it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance."
"Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing and that he won't shout again, but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all)."
"Also, sidenote: He's like four and a half years older than me. I met him last September and on and off many times with a few months of minimal contact. These offs end with him acting as if nothing happened."
"This incident was the calmest he's behaved if compared to past situations, so you can guess what the worst may have looked like."
"I only gave him a chance cause he was trying to control his anger issues. But I think you can't expect a 29-year-old to fix the misogyny."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she was right to be upset.
"He was s**tty, but it was her fault; I just love that. NOR."
"If she hadn’t interrupted his highness, none of this would have happened. Why can’t she just admit it?"
"I’m so glad I’m long out of the dating pool. There is no bar anymore; it’s what can I get from you while I treat you like s**t. Man, the good old days of dating are long over." - Shadow4summer
"NOR. The 'I'm the man' line revealed everything OP needs to know about him. He couldn't handle a simple, harmless interruption, so he tried to humiliate her in public to regain control. Taking his own dumpling dive while trying to act superior is peak karma, honestly." - virelaczi
"NOR! If a 'small' man tries to put you down in public on a date, run the eff away! It doesn’t matter if it’s two dates, two months, or two YEARS!" - Delicious_Winner_819
"Not overreacting, this man is clearly insecure and controlling. Not to mention a misogynist. Instead of being on and off, just be off. It's better to be single than to be with someone who tries to make you feel less than." - curiouscuriel
"'I know better than you.'"
"Should tell you ALL you need to know about this 'man'. Go and find somebody who will treat you as their person... and not an object. That is what is not sitting right with you."
"NOR. And bloody run!!! I wouldn't even give him the time of day after an experience like that." - pootling_1976
"My ex would constantly say, 'You're interrupting me.' I was not. He was a psycho."
"This is how it went, for example:"
"Him: I am ordering chicken and snow peas and white rice [long pause]."
"I start to say ANYTHING (the place is on effing fire!), and he would berate me, 'You interrupted me, you ALWAYS do that, I can never speak, blah, blah blah.'"
"I say, 'Lucifer (what I call him behind his back), you took a long pause. I waited, and I thought you were done.'"
"Then THAT becomes a pile of s**t convo, more berating... He was so manipulative and verbally abusive; I cannot even scratch the surface here."
"So, no. That date is a Lucifer, and you should never even speak to him again." - Belmontisnowhideous
Others pointed out that the OP didn't have to keep dating him if this is how she felt about him.
"Great news! You do not need to spend any more time with this guy." - Blue-flash
"If you marry this guy, this behavior will only get worse. He doesn’t respect women, and he probably never will. I'd stop dating him now before you waste more time." - Additional-Start9455
"NOR. Don’t waste another minute of your life on an angry man. He’ll get worse, not better. Just find a guy who doesn’t need fixing." - Broad_Pomegranate141
"I mean, him being an insufferable smug jerk is not a small thing."
"'I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off.' But this strikes me as an elephant in the room."
"It isn't often that good, healthy relationships are on and off again. And given how profoundly rude he was, how immediately he doubled down, how condescending, etc., I can't help but think this isn't the first time he's been gross as a partner."
"NOR, but really ask yourself what you're doing here. This can't be the life you hoped for, and you know he isn't going to change as well." - Traeyze
"NOR. There's no way to live with this kind of man, honestly, and OP should definitely leave this guy."
"A year of on and off with kind of behavior is basically a preview of the next ten." - NoEar4226
"NOR. I've broken up with guys like that by telling them they were right all along. I'm just not smart enough for him. He deserves someone on his own level..."
"Hopefully he picks up the hint and does some self-reflection for his future dates (with other women)."
"For what it's worth, I have two post-graduate degrees." - PomeloPepper
"When someone treats you like s**t, you do NOT have to stay with them, no matter how long you've been together."
"Unfortunately, my therapist had to explain this to me a short time after I started seeing her because my parents never gave me any autonomy to make my own decisions. I didn’t know that I could just leave places that I didn’t feel safe in because it wasn’t an option for me until then."
"Some people do need to be given permission to do what’s best for them because of the way they were treated by their parents."
"Hopefully she does leave him because he sucks, and with the way he treats her, things will likely get worse for her." - Accomplished_Dig284
We've all heard the advice to not cry over spilled milk, but clearly, this date must fuss over garlicky noodles.
To the subReddit, it wasn't worth continuing to date a man who clearly had anger and control issues, especially given everything going on in society right now.
The OP would be better off staying single for a while or dating someone new, preferably someone who respects their differences about noodles and chopsticks.