Sustaining a strong relationship as a roommate can be difficult.
But as long as everyone remains respectful of each other's personal spaces, keep common areas clean, and above all else, respects each other's privacy, it's not too difficult to remain on good terms.
However, things are bound to get a little more complicated when one roommate invades the other's privacy.
Redditor omgjdh's roommate was respectful of his privacy.
Unfortunately, his roommate's girlfriend was not, constantly barging into his bedroom when he was still asleep.
Having finally had enough, the original poster (OP) came up with a solution he was confident would scare his roommate's girlfriend from ever barging in on him again.
His tactic was successful, though not at all appreciated by the OP's roommate or his girlfriend.
Wondering if he had gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors.
"AITA for sleeping naked because my roommate's girlfriend keeps waking me up?"
The OP shared how after his roommate's girlfriend barged in on him one too many times, he came up with a plan to ensure she would never do so again.
"I (19 M[ale]) have a roommate."
"He has a girlfriend (call her L) since they have been seeing each other and when she's been staying around she has walked in on me and pulled the covers off as a joke."
"She's also walked in on me and my girlfriend which was the final straw."
"My roommate has been doing nothing about this saying, 'I can't control her'."
"A few days ago my girlfriend was in our flat and so was L."
"My girlfriend has been getting pissed at L walking in on us."
"I told her to sleep naked, and she will stop probably."
"At 6 me and my girlfriend was sleeping and L busted threw the door and saw us butt naked together."
"She screamed like she saw a murderer scene."
"My roommate walked in and told us we should have been wearing clothes."
"I told him that she needs to learn about privacy first."
"He told us we were acting childish."
"We didn't care if we were acting childish she needed to know that it's weird walking in on people like that."
"I ordered a lock."
"So AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for frightening L away by sleeping naked.
Everyone agreed that L's behavior was invasive and obnoxious, and she got what she deserved by walking in on the OP and his girlfriend in their birthday suits.
"What on earth did I just read?"
"A grown woman, who doesn't live in your place, is bursting into YOUR bedroom and waking you up?"
"I wouldn't allow her back into your home."
"That's just not okay on so many levels."
"NTA but holy crap."- bokatan778
"WTF?"
"NTA?"
"So if I'm reading this correctly they're upset because your roommate's GF has a weird obsession with barging in your room (early AF keep in mind, who TF barges into their BF's roommate's room at 6 am?), and is upset she found you and your GF naked under YOUR covers, in YOUR bed, in YOUR ROOM after she decided to barge in and rip your covers off?"
"if anything a sane person would be EXPECTING the possibility of you guys being naked in bed together, correct?"
"I am HIGHLY confused about her logic and roommate's logic."
"Wow."- nana2vibrant
"NTA obviously, but get a lock."- 2ndgenerationcatlady
"NTA."
"Your roommate has a responsibility for his guests in the apartment."
"If he 'can't control' his girlfriend, then she shouldn't be there."
"What she is doing by invading your space and pulling the covers off of you isn't a joke."
"It's harassment, and it needs to stop."
"I would have done exactly what you did."- MerryMoose923
"I am a university professor."
"What you described sounds like you're roommates at a university."
"If you are, speak to your student conduct office."
"What she's doing counts as sexual harassment."
"I suspect your roommate and her will sing a different tune once they talk to the student conduct office."-Worldsgreatestfrog
"Gotta start barging into roommate's room."
"Maybe at 3 am."
"Bc he can't control you and if he reacts badly he's being childish."- Current-Practice2664
"Spray bottle with stinky water."
"OR."
"You scream bloody murder at her when she does it, and called her a sexual offender, because clearly she wants to see people having sex without their consent."-Rohini_rambles
"Curious."
"She walked in on you and your GF (& I assume you were intimate) and nothing."
"But walked in on you two sleeping naked and screams?"
"NTA either way."- Poesy-WordHoard
"Your roommate can kindly f*ck a hat."
"You were in a bedroom."
"The f*ck was she doing inside it?"- checco314
"NTA."
"You asked nicely first."
"She disregarded your request."
"Well, you went for the shock value, and it seems to be working.
"Maybe she'll finally learn."- Sunny_Hill_1
"Your roommate's GF needs some f*ckin boundaries."
"You can sleep however you want in your room."
"NTA."- Ogreguy
"NTA."
"You can sleep naked."
"She can't just walk up on you and take the sheets away, just to get angry that you sleep as you do."
"She has to respect your privacy."- AlHazard33
"NTA."
"She f*cked around and found out eh."- ameanjew
"NTA."
"She is weird."
"What is the purpose of this?"
"Her 'jokes' are childish and an invasion of privacy."
"Have you flat-out asked her to stop?"
"Also, can't you get a lock?"- Ok-Context1168
"NTA."
"Bet she doesn't walk in again."
"What she was doing was the childish action and just plain rude."- Zestyclose-Egg6211
"NTA."
"The roommate's girl is the only AH here."- Minute_Patient_8841
"NTA, why would anyone feel that it's appropriate to do that."
"That is your home."
"You are meant to feel comfortable there, and this sounds like anything but comfortable."
"The lack of self-awareness is appalling."
"I suggest you start locking your bedroom door and have a very serious discussion with your roommate about boundaries."- looklikecollege
"She's invading your privacy and it's just weird that she just comes into your room to pull the covers off your bodies, like what's the point in her doing that?"- Ambby94
"NTA."
"Sounds like she got what she wanted."
"A peek at your pee pee."- magic-money-tree
"NTA."
"Get a darn door wedge and put a stop to her stupid antics already."- jammy913
"NTA."
"If she can't respect closed doors that's just something that's gonna happen."- Specialist_Tea8851
"NTA but there is zero chance she's doing this by accident or 'as a joke'."- WiseBat
"NTA."
"How on earth would anyone be the a**hole other than the GF for doing the thing and the roommate for not stopping that behavior."
"Time to install door locks."- archiotterpup
"NTA!"
"This post made my day."
"I needed a good laugh, and you delivered full bore!"- Capelily
"Casually ask her if she wants to join in, good chance it never happens again."
"On the other hand maybe she will take you up on it and you can tell your friend 'sorry I can't control her'."
"Either way sounds like a win/win."- zbreima
"NTA."
"She was the one acting childish, and she got a very adult wake-up call."-Existing-Quote7936
"Hahahaha!"
"Well played."
"Masterful."
"A solid, nonconfrontational solution."
"I applaud you."
"NTA, but voyeur certainly is."- cheezitapplepie
"Gotta get pepper spray for keeping away the crazy."
"NTA."- blonde_Cupid
"NTA."
"BTW, he could tell her to stop doing it."
"It's a real lazy cop-out to say he doesn't control her."
"No, he doesn't, but she should be decent enough to listen."- Rocking_Horse_Fly
"NTA."
"Honestly sounds like she is wanting to walk in on you and or your GF in the nude, lock is probably a good idea."- Nalpona_Freesun
"Invest in a super soaker and keep it by the bed."
"If she wants to barge in like an animal then start treating her like one."
"NTA."- The-Additional-Pylon
"NTA she's a creep and a pervert."
"She should be banned from your place."
"She's lucky she didn't get a physical reaction."
"I know some people who will instinctively thrash out their arms if startled in their sleep."
"Next time she started screaming start screaming back at her like Buffalo Bill did his captive."-paul_rudds_drag_race
"NTA."
"And BTW, good one."- kistner
"NTA."
"She is way out of line."
"Tell roommate to tell her to cut that sh*t out, or there will be serious consequences going forward."- AlbaTejas
It's simply common courtesy to knock before entering a room with a closed door.
Particularly when it's not even in your own home.
As many people pointed out above, L should honestly consider herself lucky that she didn't walk into anything more than the OP and his girlfriend naked in bed.
One can only hope this experience taught her to knock.
Humiliated Redditor Ditches Friend's Birthday After She Publicly Mocks Them In Front Of Everyone
Fake people tend to show their true colors during pivotal moments, like weddings and major celebrations.
But when they want an audience to hurt someone else, it takes total sense that they would be called out in front of everyone, as agreed by members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit.
Redditor HollyyGinger went to their close friend's birthday party, expecting to have a good time and celebrate their loved one's special day.
But when their close friend made several mocking comments about them, and the party laughed along with them, the Original Poster (OP) took that as an indication of the state of their friendship and left the birthday party early.
They asked the sub:
The OP was excited to celebrate their close friend's birthday.
"One of my close friends had a birthday dinner last weekend, and I was genuinely excited to go."
"I helped her organize a few things beforehand, bought her a gift, and even rearranged some plans because I wanted to be there for her."
But the birthday dinner did not go at all how the OP expected.
"During dinner, though, she started making little jokes about me in front of everyone."
"At first, I laughed along because I didn't want to make things awkward on her birthday."
"But she kept going. She joked about dating life, brought up an embarrassing story I had told her privately, and made another comment about how I'm ''way too sensitive' sometimes."
"People were laughing, and I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but honestly, I felt pretty humiliated."
The OP tried to ask their friend to change the direction of the rest of the party.
"I quietly asked her when we were alone if she could stop making me the joke of the evening."
"She rolled her eyes and said I was taking everything too seriously and that everyone knew she was joking."
"I went back to the table for a while because I really didn't want to ruin her birthday."
"But then she made another joke about me, so I decided I'd had enough. I congratulated her again, said goodbye to everyone, and went home without making a scene."
The OP's friend tried to blame them for how the evening turned out.
"The next morning, she texted me, saying she was hurt that I left early and that several people noticed."
"She said that I made her feel like she had done something horrible when she was 'just having fun.' But her having fun was more of a public embarrassment to me."
"Now I feel guilty, because it was her birthday, and maybe I could have just ignored it for another hour or two."
"I wasn't trying to punish her or make the night about me. I just didn't want to sit there smiling while someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I had specifically asked her to stop."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she didn't have to stay at a party where she didn't feel welcome.
"She was having fun. You were not having fun."
"You’re not overreacting. You told her it was hurting you, and she kept doing it because hurting you was entertaining for her. She is not a good friend." - Dunquinn-
"I remember when I was really little, a bunch of adults were laughing at me as I cried."
"I cried to my mom, 'Stop laughing at me,' to which she replied, 'We aren’t laughing at you; we're laughing with you,' while giggling."
"My response was something I stand by to this day: 'Then why am I the only one crying?!'"
"It’s only funny if the person who’s being teased is laughing too. You weren’t laughing. It wasn’t funny; it was cruel. NOR." - XSmartypants
"She’s a bully. It wasn’t 'more like 'it was publicly embarrassing. It WAS publicly embarrassing."
"Then she tells you that SHE is embarrassed because YOU left early. That's bulls**t."
"NOR. Drop her." - WTH_JFG
"NOR. They make jokes about someone's privacy to humiliate that person. Anyone who would use info that was shared in confidence to get a laugh is an abuser. You don't do that, especially to a close friend, without the intent to hurt that person." - BungenessKrabb
"Would it have been fun if you did the same? Start telling her darkest secrets?"
"She made you into a punchline for other people’s entertainment."
"You told her to stop, and she didn’t; now she’s the victim?"
"NOR."
"But also, some people need to feel it to believe it. I hope you go to the next gathering with a few stories of your own and don’t let her rewrite the narrative." - beached_not_broken
"I’ve had it happen by my 'best friend' at the time, only it was in a professional setting event. Very personal details only she knew, all spilled for her amusement, embarrassing me in front of colleagues."
"NOR, OP. As you did, I left the gathering earlier than expected. My 'friend' called the next day asking why I left so early. I told her what she had said and done and how humiliated I felt."
"Her 'apology' was that flippant version that shows no remorse, like, 'Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.'"
"Over the subsequent years, she managed to alienate and burn bridges with most of those same people we were gathered with."
"I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. Anyone who thinks you were 'too sensitive' has no empathy and 'friends' like that don’t deserve your time." - Hungry_Tank9182
"NOR. She was being a jerk to you, and she was expecting you to just take it and not say anything or defend yourself."
"Because they think it's sooo funny to mock others, but I bet if the roles were reversed, she would be offended and upset."
"Honestly, you deserve better friends. I'm sorry you had to deal with this."
"I would've left and blocked her." - Cryslove
Others urged the OP to stop thinking about the event and let that friendship go.
"That was the point of her fun! Humiliating you with an audience!"
"Sharing something deeply personal, told in confidence? Immediate dealbreaker."
"She is not (and likely never was) your friend. Friends do not treat friends with such disrespect. Block her, and go no contact. She brings nothing good to your life, and she’s not worthy of your energy and time."
"NOR." - MizPeachyKeen
"It’s called bullying. She is not your friend. Friends don’t humiliate their true friends, or tell them 'they are too sensitive.'"
"That is what bullies do. She keeps you around to put you down and make herself look or feel better."
"Her actions, attitude, and behavior are those of an immature high schooler. She could actually be jealous of you and not want one or all of the following: you to succeed, have more friends, feel better about yourself, look better, etc."
"Please slowly distance yourself, find new hobbies and activities with more mature, well-rounded, healthy people." - Freeling_Fab_U_lous
"How DARE you spoil her fun; didn't you know that part of your gift was letting her make you the butt of her jokes? (sarcastic comment)"
"What an awful person. No one should need to put others down to raise themselves up. She doesn't deserve the title of friend, to be honest. You showed much more grace than I would have managed." - tphatmcgee
"She was using you as her punching bag to make the others attending laugh. Probably thinking you’d just take it. That’s not a good friend. NOR." - Additional-Start9455
"'Someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I asked them to stop.' NOR."
"First, you shouldn't have had to ask her to stop because a friend wouldn't have started in the first place. One of her 'jokes' was about you being sensitive, so she knew you didn't like it and did it anyway."
"Second, you asked her privately to stop, because you didn't want to embarrass her. Think about that. You didn't want to embarrass her. But she couldn't show you the same consideration, even after being asked to stop."
"That's not how I treat my friends, and I suspect that's not how you treat your friends, either." - calminthedark
"I would have answered her text that she's a s**tty friend and to f**k off. You have class."
"I probably would have made a comment at dinner that I asked her to stop with the insults."
"NOR. You did everything right." - Particular-King218
The subReddit was disappointed on the OP's behalf that a friendship they were so committed to, they were excited to celebrate their friend's birthday and even helped plan the event, came apart at their expense, and on very public terms.
If the friend didn't want to be "embarrassed," maybe she should have thought about how she was embarrassing others first.