Sharing meals is a common part of any relationship.
Whether your blood kin, friends, or just work colleagues, everybody has ordered takeout from time to time.
Sometimes it can be a stressful experience and people just go their separate ways about it.
But if you’re in an intimate relationship and people live and work from home together, it’s pretty commonplace to order as one, or for one another.
Isn’t it?
Or is it regularly an everyone for themself situation?
Case in point…
Redditor No-Parking5391 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA For Expecting Hubby To Ask Me If I Want Takeout When He Orders??”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My hubby works from home with me.”
“He orders food from DoorDash without asking me if I want anything.”
“I am working away on my laptop and food magically appears at the door just for him.”
“I have told him before that I think that this is inconsiderate.”
“He doesn’t think anything of it.”
“I would never order food to be delivered without asking him.”
“He thinks I am just overreacting.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. That is totally inconsiderate.”
“My husband and I would never do that to each other.”
“How selfish of him.” ~ lihzee
“NTA. My husband: ‘Wow that’s huge a**hole behavior.'”
“Honestly, asking is basic human decency.” ~ Derpazor1
“I said I was hungry out loud the other day, and my cat dropped a half-dead Palmetto bug in my lap.”
“The smug on my cat’s face was real, along with my screams.”
“I lost my appetite, and am now considered a snob and ingrate.” ~ Beneficial_Ship_7988
“My husband is an a**hole, he even thinks this is a d**k move.” ~ legal_bagel
“Mine is too.”
“I told him about this post and he said that if he waited on me to decide what I wanted to eat, he would starve.”
“That said, he will tell me he is getting food and ask if I want anything.”
“If I can’t decide before he leaves, he says, ‘text me what you want.'”
“If I haven’t texted by the time he arrives at the source of food, he calls me to get my answer because he knows I get distracted, or the kids go bonkers and interrupt my decision-making.”
“And my husband who is also an a**hole said that OP’s husband is inconsiderate.” ~ FeistyIrishWench
“The kitchen is two steps away from the bed.”
“My boyfriend works, and I cannot find a job currently.”
“So I do almost all the cooking.”
“Every time I order food with my own money, I ask if he wants anything.”
“He usually makes breakfast and will ask me if I want anything or if he gets a snack he’ll just throw me a snack from the kitchen.”
“Any time he’s home at lunchtime, I offer to make him lunch.”
“It’s just relationship courtesy.”
“Only time we don’t get food together is when I’m asleep or someone isn’t home.” ~ Free_Medicine4905
“My husband and I both work from home on most days.”
“When one of us makes coffee, we ask the other if s/he wants one too.”
“Lunch is a no-brainer, the concept of one of us ordering or cooking without including the other (or asking if the other wants to be included) is non-existent.”
“It’s basic courtesy.” ~ Helpful_Hour1984
“I know, right?”
“I even ask my coworkers if they want something whenever I order my lunch and vice versa.”
“It’s not really much effort to order one or two more meals.”
“The only reason I could imagine is if the husband doesn’t want to pay for her food.”
“I would get not thinking about your wife one time, but after she explicitly told him? Several times?”
“He’s deliberately doing so because he doesn’t want to pay for her.”
“I just don’t see any other reason than that.”
“I would also like to know, what excuse he gave her other than not thinking anything of it.”
“I mean he can really only use this excuse as long as she says it bothers her, which she clearly did.”
“Now he should be thinking of her.” ~ lilawonder
“If that’s true, then that’s not a marriage.”
“It’s barely even a roommate situation.”
“They could agree to pay from the joint account or split it in the same way they do other household expenses.” ~ Helpful_Hour1984
“Why pay two delivery fees when there can just be one?”
“Seems bizarre not to ask the other person in the house, and your spouse, if they don’t also want something?”
“It’s literally a sentence. A text. A shout across the hallway.”
“Seems really asinine on his part. NTA.” ~ cMeeber
“More than just being a**hole behavior it’s so weird!!!”
“My husband and I just had a crazy thought experiment where we tried to imagine the other person doing this, and it’s so odd we can’t even pretend.”
“He’s such an a**hole it defies my ability to put my place in his shoes at all.” ~ floofloofluff
“Agreed NTA.”
“My husband and I don’t even get ourselves a water without offering one to the other.”
“If my husband ordered food delivery for himself while I was home too, I would wonder if he was also going to serve me divorce papers… lol.” ~ i_want_that_boat
“My parents are in their late 60s and they still ask each other if they want something when they’re about to buy something, be it food or anything, just out of consideration.”
“NTA, but for some reason, you married an inconsiderate one.”
“Tell that A-H he should think about you from time to time, if not because you are married, at least because you live together.” ~ Commercial-Loan-929
“NTA. If I’m passing for food on the way home or passing near a place my wife likes, I’ll call her.”
“When I want to order out, I’ll always tell her.”
“Sometimes she answers grumpily because I interrupted something, but when I say food, the mood just shifts positively.”
“Food is love.” ~ tango421
“NTA! That’s a d**k move.”
“If you were just a random roommate, then I could MAYBE see how he wouldn’t think to ask, but even then, it’s rude.” ~ th3waterwitch
“NTA. It’s common courtesy to ask if anyone else wants food, especially your partner.”
“Honestly, his behavior is not only baffling from sheer rudeness but also expense.”
“Isn’t it a lot cheaper to only pay one delivery charge instead of multiple delivery charges (if he expects that you’ll just order your own delivery)?” ~ dunemi
“The only way I could sort of understand the husband’s actions is if it takes OP like 30 minutes to figure out what they want.”
“And never wants to order from the same places as the husband, turning a 30-second ordering process into a frustrating slog.”
“And if this is a constant occurrence.”
“There is nothing saying this is the case in the post, however, and even if this was the case, it’d still be a d**k move in my opinion.”
“I’d have a hard time not asking whoever I’m with if they want food to when I’m ordering.” ~ NinscoomFOPsnarn
“NTA. He should at least mention it to you and check if you want anything, especially since you already brought it up to him.”
“I mean it’s not a huge deal but he should at least ask.” ~ Tdluxon
“Both of you working from home can be difficult, but in my opinion, this is a bit off.”
“You have told your husband that this practice bothers you, but he continues?”
“People at offices often ask around when ordering out, why can’t he do it for one (rather important) person? NTA.” ~ Entire-Ad2058
“Before half our office was remote and more folks were about, I’d usually ask if anyone wanted to hop on my order.”
“I feel guilty not doing that even though it’d be weird as I have zero people sitting near me.”
“NTA. Your husband is rude OP.” ~ ADownsHippie
“Every time I pick up food or eat out anywhere I am expected to text in my family group chat to see if my parents or brother wants anything to eat.”
“If I don’t ask, I generally get reamed out.”
“It’s a common courtesy to include others you live with on your food plans + why the hell is he paying extra DoorDash fees just to order alone.”
“HUGE NTA!!” ~ Rude_Concert5179
“NTA. Your husband is a jerk, but you probably already know that.”
“If he doesn’t care, there isn’t anything you can do to make him.”
“I don’t imagine anyone that inconsiderate would care what Reddit strangers think of him, so all I can say is good luck.”
“Oh and order your own dinner (without asking him, of course).” ~ Sea_Firefighter_4598
“NTA, I’m literally drinking a smoothie from DoorDash right now because my husband in the next room asked me if I wanted anything before he ordered.”
“It’s a super easy and considerate thing to do, especially since you’ve previously told him that it bothers you.”
“It’s kinda weird that he still insists on not asking you!”
“What’s the big deal?” ~ Ill_Wallaby_9121
“NTA. My fiancé sometimes even orders delivery solely for me when I’m home alone because he knows I love sushi and he’s on a work trip or whatever.”
“I’m very lucky to have him.”
“Yours doesn’t even think about you when you’re literally right there.”
“Seriously, think about it.”
“I wouldn’t do what he did to you, to my mom or best friend either.”
“But he does it to the main person in his life, the one he’s sharing his life with and should be in his team.”
“He treats you like an outsider, though.”
“Is he this inconsiderate in other areas as well?” ~ rembrandtismyhomeboy
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Everyone understands why you would see this as inconsiderate.
YOU’RE IN THE SAME HOUSE!!
Everybody needs some lunch.
Maybe show him this thread, and he’ll understand.
Until then, stay strong.
And don’t share any of your fries with him.