It’s fairly unusual for any siblings, particularly those close in age, to grow up without any sort of sibling rivalry.
Vying for their parent’s attention, screaming over who gets to play video games, being unwilling to share clothes, toys, etc.
Stressful as this can be for parents, they tend to adjust to it on the assumption that this is a phase they will grow out of.
Sadly, this isn’t always the case, and on very sad occasions, sometimes relationships between siblings only get worse over the course of time.
Redditor Ok_Tailor2709 had a hostile relationship with their brother.
So hostile, in fact, that the original poster (OP) planned on skipping their sister’s wedding simply owing to their brother’s presence there.
The OP’s parents and sister eventually came up with a deal that finally persuaded the OP to attend.
However, when their parent’s side of the deal wasn’t held up, the OP wasted no time in leaving their sister’s wedding.
After being scolded by their parents and sister for their behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for leaving my sister’s wedding but keeping the bribe I was paid to attend?”
The OP explained why they refused to stay at their sister’s wedding, and why their parents and sister were particularly outraged about it:
“My brother is an a**hole and has made my life hell since I can remember.”
“I grey rocked him soon as I understood the concept and have been NC with him since he moved out of my parent’s house.”
“My sister was getting married.”
“I checked to see if he was invited.”
“He was.”
“I RSVP’d my regrets.”
“My sister and parents came by to talk me into attending.”
“I said f*ck no.”
“They promised me that he would be on his best behavior.”
“I said no.”
“They begged.”
“I said no.”
“They asked if there was anything they could do to convince me to go.”
“I said that if they gave me $1,000 each that I would return if he left me alone.”
“They said no.”
“I said good day.”
“They came back with $2,000 in an envelope.”
“I was at the wedding venue with my wife talking to my parents when my brother arrived.”
“He came right over and called me a slur for a homosexual.”
“My dad’s head just dropped.”
“I took my wife’s hand and we went out for a night paid for by my parents and sister.”
“We were already dressed up so we had a fancy night out with our phones off.”
“My parents and sister are furious at my brother.”
“He is mad because my dad told him that he is a child that can’t control himself.”
“My brother is mad at me for being a baby and not being able to take a joke.”
“I really don’t care. $2,000 isn’t alot of money.”
“But it is enough to sting.”
“Now maybe they will listen when I say I do not want to be around him.”
“My mom however is mad at me for taking the money.”
“She seems to think I was being paid to out up with his abuse.”
“I have tried explaining that it was more of a bond on his behavior.”
“She won’t listen.”
“AITA for taking the money and leaving?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for leaving their sister’s wedding with their bribery money.
Just about everyone agreed that the OP’s parents and sister didn’t keep up their end of the deal, and based on that the OP had every right to leave the wedding money in tow, with others commending the OP for not putting up with their brother’s abuse.
“He didn’t leave you alone.”
“You were there and prepared to stay but they didn’t fill their end of the deal.”
“They banked on him behaving.”
“He’s the one who cost them the money.”
“They should have graciously accepted your decline.”
“NTA.”- embopbopbopdoowop
“The deal was $1000 each and he leaves you alone.”
“He didn’t leave you alone.”
“Maybe your parents need to collect some cash from your brother since he couldn’t keep his mouth shut for one evening.”
“Solid NTA.”- Melodic_Ad_8360
“NTA.”
“Did your brother leave you alone?”
“No.”
“Was he on his best behavior?”
“Hell no.”
“You kept your end of the bargain.”
“They didn’t.”
“And I guess we know the parent who enabled your brother all these years.”
“F off, Mom.”- FitOrFat-1999
“Proceeds to immediately not leave you alone.”
“The f*ck is wrong with your mom lol.”
“NTA.”- sweetpup915
“What joke?”
“I didn’t see any joke.”
“NTA.”
“If your mom wants her $2000 back she should ask your brother.”- space_coyote_86
“NTA.”
“You kept your end of the agreement by showing up with the best of intention.”
“Your brother is a childish bully and this ended up costing his parents and sister 2K.”-SnooBunnies7461
“NTA but I wish I lived in a world where $2000 wasn’t a lot of money.”- CommandoRoll
“NTA.”
“Good for you for asking for an a**hole deposit.”
“My new thing is asking people who say mean sh*t and brush it off as a joke ‘explain how it’s funny’.”
“They never can and they get super butthurt.”- ThatHellaHighHobbit
“NTA.”
“They placed a bet that he would behave.”
“You would have given the money back (hopefully) if he did.”
“It was wise to leave as his poor behavior could’ve just continued to escalate as the wedding went on.”- Having-hope3594
“Why did they want you there, out of curiosity?”
“I assume to take the pics and look like a happy family for everybody to see?”
“NTA, you told them you’d give it back if he didn’t say anything, he said something.”
“They rolled those dice not you.”
“Also, f*ck your brother!”- Beneficial_Syrup_869
“NTA.”
“Your parents and sister need to be told it’s either him or you at any future events and you won’t budge on this so they don’t need to waste your time begging.”
“Your brother is an a**hole because he’s always been allowed to be.”
“What a miserable person to be around.”- FasterThanNewts
“NTA and good for you.”
“Stand by your guns, make clear that this was a tax ON THEM for constantly dismissing your concerns and insisting you tolerate his abuse for their sakes by pretending he won’t do it.”
“You know it’s bullsh*t, they know it’s bullsh*t, but they want you to pay the price to pretend to have a happy family.”- Irish_Whiskey
“NTA, literally everyone but you, your wife, and your dad are a**holes.”
“What is wrong with your mother?”
“You weren’t paid to take his abuse, you said you would go for 2k AND the promise that he left you alone.”
“First thing he does is walk up to you and call you a slur?”
“What was your mother expecting?”
“Also, why does your family tolerate this?”
“Why are they okay with this happening?”- vociferousgirl
“‘I was only joking’ is every bully’s defense.”
“You are NTA.”- Educational-Part-253
“NTA.”
“You were paid to show up.”
“You showed up.”
“THEY gave their word your brother would behave.”
“He didn’t.”
“You left.”
“Now, brother can pay them back, or they can get it through their thick heads that you do not want to be anywhere around him.”
“I have a brother like that.”
“Seeing him once every 15 – 20 years is enough.”
“Last time was great.”
“My sons were there too.”
“Towering over him.”
“Strong as oxen.”
“They told him one wrong word, one insult, one physical touch, he would be ‘tossed down the road like a bowling ball. His truck would come out after him’.”
“He was nicer that day than I have ever seen him.”
“Found out later, he was truly afraid of my boys, who he had never met before.”
“You do what is best for you and your wife.”
“Brother can stay away.”- Fickle_Toe1724
“NTA.”
“Even if your brother was on his best behavior it sounds like your mom would be hassling you for her money back.”
“My impression: dad and sister were serious and showed their sincerity by putting the money where the mouth is.”
“Mom wanted to bribe you, then shame you for taking the bribe and say ‘that wasn’t so hard was it? Certainly not $1000 worth’ if nothing happened.”
“But you knew better and you were serious too.”
“It ended how it ended.”
“Reality: checked.”- paulsclamchowder
It’s fair to say that the OP’s bargain was unreasonable to the point of preposterous.
Even so, their parents agreed to it and failed to deliver what they promised.
Perhaps also indicating how little they know their old children, as the OP had no doubt their brother would treat him no differently than he had their whole life.
Then too, isn’t it a parent’s job to teach their children that money can’t solve all their problems?