It goes without saying that lying is very dangerous.
Whether one lies to stay out of trouble or to take someone down, they can often be more trouble than they’re worth.
One way or another, the truth always has a way of coming out, and all lies will eventually be uncovered.
The aunt of a recent Redditor suffered from chronic health problems.
However, these health problems weren’t always quite as drastic as she made them out to be.
In fact, the original poster (OP) discovered that her most recent diagnosis was not even an exaggeration, but a lie.
Something the OP simply could not keep quiet about.
Feeling somewhat bad about their behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITAH for calling out my aunt after finding out she lied about having cancer?”
The OP explained why they felt the need to confront their indisposed aunt:
“My Aunt Cathy has a long history of health problems, but she also has a pattern of exaggerating them and blowing things way out of proportion.”
“This has been going on for years.”
“She frequently gets my grandparents worked up and stressed when they already have their own issues to deal with.”
“She’s on disability and can’t drive because of a seizure disorder, so my grandpa often takes time off work to drive her to medical appointments.”
“The problem is, she’ll guilt him into taking off work and then either still be asleep when he arrives or tell him she canceled the appointment because she didn’t feel well.”
“Many of these are specialist appointments that took months to schedule.”
“A few months ago, she called everyone in the family and told us she had cancer and only had a few months to live.”
“We were devastated.”
“She asked for help making funeral arrangements and spent hours on the phone with family discussing what kind of casket and headstone she wanted.”
“Later, I was talking to my grandpa and found out he hadn’t taken her to any cancer appointments because a friend had been driving her.”
“Given her history, I was suspicious.”
“When I asked her what kind of cancer she had, she just said ‘blood cancer’.”
“When I asked for more details, she said she didn’t want to talk about it.”
“Not long after that, she had a severe seizure and was hospitalized.”
“I went with my grandpa to visit her.”
“While she was heavily medicated, the doctor came in.”
“My grandpa asked if her seizures were getting worse because of her cancer treatments.”
“The doctor responded, ‘What cancer?’”
“He checked her chart and said the only blood-related issue he saw was iron deficiency anemia.”
“My grandpa didn’t press the issue.”
“After the doctor left, I was furious.”
“My grandpa told me to keep quiet and suggested maybe she misunderstood something.”
“He asked me not to bring it up.”
“I decided to keep what we learned to myself to avoid upsetting my grandpa.”
“I started ignoring her calls because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay quiet if she brought up her cancer again.”
“Recently, she sent me a long text saying she was hurt that I’d been ignoring her and that I hadn’t visited her in the hospital.’
“She didn’t remember me being there as she was heavily medicated.”
“She also said she ‘doesn’t have much time left on this earth’.”
“I finally snapped.”
“I told her what the doctor said at the hospital and that there was no record of cancer.”
“I told her I needed space and that she needed mental health help for putting the whole family through months of stress and grief.”
“I called my Grandpa, and he is furious with me for adding to her stress.”
“Now I’m wondering if I went too far.”
“She does have real physical and mental health issues.”
“AITA for calling her out?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for calling out their aunt.
Everyone agreed that the aunt’s lies needed to be revealed, even if everyone also agreed that she was clearly suffering from severe mental health issues, which didn’t necessarily excuse her behavior, but needed to be dealt with:
“NTA.”
“Many people, unfortunately, have lost to cancer, and people who pretend to have cancer for attention are major AHs.”
“‘My grandpa told me to keep quiet and suggested maybe she misunderstood something’.”
“I have to disagree with your grandpa, OP.”
“Your aunt told everyone she had cancer and had a few months to live, no way she misunderstood anything.”
“She did this solely for attention.”- DJ_Too_Supreme_Mk3
“NTA.”
“Everyone (especially your grandpa) needs to stop enabling this behavior.”
“It’s disruptive to other people’s lives and mental and emotional well-being as well.”
“Someone should read/send her the fable about the boy who cried wolf.”
“If her mental health is that bad that ppl excuse her shenanigans, maybe she should be seeing a therapist/psychologist.”- Delicious-Papaya-389
“NTA.”
“Pretending to have cancer is so wrong, and telling your loved ones you have only months left…that is a whole different level of sick.”
“I absolutely would have called her out.”
“What was her explanation?”
“I would stay no contact until she gets mental health treatment.”
“If grandpa wants to continue to entertain her lies, there is nothing you can do about that.”
“I hope you told everyone else in the family that she lied.”- 1RainbowUnicorn
“NTA but IMHO your aunt has a serious mental health problem.”
“13 months ago, I was told I had cancer.”
“As a person who really has been told they have cancer, I find her behavior and lies are truly abhorrent.”- Public_Reaction2129
“NTA.”
“Your whole family should also know about this.”
“Her mental health issues do not change this.”- jerrrrremy
“NTA.”
“I’m not any kind of doctor, but maybe she has Factitious Disorder (Munchausen’s)?”-Shadynastysdynasty
“NTA.”
“It sounds like grandpa is enabling her.”
“I’d have blown her cover for the entire family.”- JenninMiami
“I would get that toxicity out of my life ASAP.”
“F the aunt.”
“What a piece of work!”
“NTA.”- DeuceXTrouble1015
“NTA.”
“She’s actually sick for lying about that.”
“Just because it’s a grandma doesn’t mean you need to keep communicating with them.”-StockCaterpillar7303
“You’re NTA, definitely not.”
“But your aunt really does have some mental health issues.”
“It’s not your fault, though, and understandable that you snapped.”- Fielddogtrain
“NTA.”
“Your grandpa is addicted to enabling your aunt, just wash your hands of this dynamic because they’re not going to change for you.”- Imnotawerewolf
“NTA.”
“You didn’t scream it to the whole family, just told her, and only her, that you know the truth.”
“She’s mad she got caught, and grandpa is embarrassed that he believed her.”
“He’s mad at himself and taking it out on you.”
“How is she going to explain months from now that she’s still alive, still has hair, and isn’t weak from chemo treatments?”- JustAMuggle94
“Why in the f*ck would people lie about something like that?”
“Cancer out all f*cking things?”
“That’s so disgusting, f*ck your aunt.”
“I had to watch my dad lose and regain his lower body mobility due to cancer.”
“F*ck your aunt.”
“NTA.”- andrey_not_the_goat
“NTA!”
“I just lost my mother to cancer 4 months ago, and I’m telling you right now that if any family member of mine (or friend), IDGAF who they are or what mental/physical issues they have, lied to me about having cancer, I would not be responsible for my actions.”- Skippy_T_Magificent
“NTA you reacted well I think.”
“Hopefully she gets mental help, and hopefully your grandparents stop letting her use them as much, but you can’t control that.”
“…you definitely need to tell your family about the cancer being a lie.”
“The emotional energy of thinking she’s dying is a huge burden on your family members, not to mention other things, like if someone puts off an expense because they think they’re about to help pay for a funeral, or put off a trip or move because they want to spend as much time with your aunt as possible, etc.”
“Which is likely happening since it’s likely your aunt told this lie for attention because people were getting numb to her less urgent medical issues.”- SafetyFluid8535
There were a few, however, who felt the OP couldn’t be so sure that his aunt was lying, based on the information he gave, and couldn’t condone how they handled the situation:
“YTA.”
“You don’t actually know she doesn’t have cancer.”
“You’re assuming.”
“Hospitals don’t always have all of a patient’s records.”
“It’s possible she is lying of course, but you don’t actually know that.”
“Also, canceling appointments because you feel too sick to go is not unusual for those of us with severe health issues.”
“It doesn’t mean they’re faking, it means they’re sick, and health issues don’t care about your appointments or your schedule.”- notrightmeowthx
“Doctor here.”
“YTA.”
“You are basing this on the doctor not having this in her chart.”
“Do you have any idea how often that happens?”
“All the time.”
“I’ve had patients missing limbs, and it wasn’t in their chart.”- Elegant_Bluebird_460
It is clear that the OP’s aunt is a very sick woman.
It seems up in the air, however, that the OP’s aunt has cancer, as she claimed she has.
What is abundantly clear, however, is that the OP’s aunt needs serious help.
After which, hopefully, the truth will come out.