Choosing a career path isn’t always easy.
It can take years to figure out the best option.
Sometimes the career chooses the person.
But not every career decision will sit well with friends and family.
So, how does one make these choices?
Redditor ThinCold2885 wanted to discuss his experience and get feedback, so he naturally joined the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
“AITA for telling my parents I do not want to attend University?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m 16 M[ale], live in Canada with immigrant parents (41 F[emale], 55 M) who’ve always dreamed of me becoming a doctor.”
“Typical story: get good grades, go to a top University, become successful.”
“I get why they want that for me, but I’m struggling in school—even though I study hard, I can’t get my grades up, especially in chemistry and biology.”
“I’m more interested in math.”
“I’ve realized I don’t want to be a doctor.”
“The process is long, stressful, and not for me.”
“Instead, I want to become an electrician.”
“There’s good money, high demand, and solid job security, and I’d eventually like to open my own business in a bigger city.”
“Plus, I could start earlier through a co-op program in high school, but it means switching out of my current courses (bio, chem, physics).”
“When I told my parents, my mom flipped out and called trade jobs something ‘losers’ do.”
“My dad was more open to it, but still wants me to stay in my current classes, ‘just in case.’”
“My mom now says if I don’t get 95%+ in science this year (I currently have 60%), she’ll punish me and ground me all summer.”
“I feel like I’m being forced into a path that I’m not interested in, and I’m tired of not being heard.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for wanting to take a different path?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the a**hole.
“NTA. Electricians and other tradespeople are in high demand and can make an excellent living.”
“College isn’t for everyone.”
“Do you have counselors at your school?”
“Maybe they can talk to your parents?” ~ LateForDinner61
“Listen to this poster, OP, the wear and tear is real.”
“My father is a retired tradesperson, and his joints are in terrible shape!”
“That said, there are ways to do it if you plan appropriately. I did academic advising for apprentices in trades and got to meet their instructors; they all told them to think both short and long term.”
“Think just beyond the electrician job to what comes next, so that when that wear and tear starts to show, you can pivot so you aren’t killing your joints till retirement.”
“Having a business where you are running most of the operations is one way; the other is to teach.”
“Just make sure that you are planning appropriately.”
“Also, if you could find a program that is sponsored by a community college and does an apprenticeship, that would be your best bet.”
“Because a lot of times you will have some general courses that you could potentially transfer into something else, or you could pick up affordable business courses at the same time, so you have that knowledge as well.” ~ LavenderWildflowers
“A friend of mine‘s daughter, I believe grade 10, joined this special program, where she continued working on her high school diploma evenings and weekends, but was an apprentice electrician during the daytime.”
“By the time she finished grade 12, she had completed her electrician’s apprenticeship, had just about six figures in the bank, and graduated from high school.”
“She’s now making bank at commercial construction sites.”
“Trades are not for losers.”
“We need more tradespeople.” ~ empreur
“NTA. An electrician is a good career choice.”
“You need to sit your parents down and have a discussion with them.”
“They’ll need to accept that you’re not going to be a doctor and respect your decision to become an electrician.” ~ FoxxFluxx
“NTA, but you need to sell her on it like you are pitching a business deal.”
“Show her the career prospects, the salaries, your longer-term plan.”
“It’s hard for immigrant parents to look beyond white collar careers.” ~ yesnomaybeso456
“NTA. As a black sheep from an immigrant family, you’ll be happier long term following the path that you’re passionate about.”
“Don’t let them manipulate and stifle a dream you have, trust yourself and your gut on this choice.”
“Sometimes the hardest paths are the right ones!” ~ MapRevolutionary2015
“NTA. It is their definition of success, not yours.”
“An electrician is a nice job for many reasons.”
“Also, on the financial front: going to school for years to become a doctor and paying so much money is not wise.”
“If you became an electrician and dumped a bunch into index funds at the start of your career, a doctor would never catch you.” ~ senor_sosa
“Here is the meeting in the middle approach.”
“You finish your college degree as an undergraduate in electrical or civil engineering.”
“Then you go become an electrician.”
“The college’s higher-level education for science and engineering will equip you to become an even better electrician, and you will appreciate the extra academic education when you want to become an entrepreneur.”
“Going to a decent university taught me how to study and network, and allows you to pivot to white collar jobs if you ever need to do so.”
“At the minimum, your parents cannot complain too much if you have a college degree and decide what to do from there.”
“I agree that being a doctor is bulls**t unless you have the calling to do so.”
“The money is not worth the stress, discrimination, and bullshitry in the workplace.” ~ MikePrime13
“NTA. You have to do what’s right for you.”
“Being a doctor is great, but it doesn’t sound like it’s for you.”
“Don’t do something just to make other people happy, even your parents.”
“You can make good money as an electrician, and it can give you a lot of options in life.” ~ SoMuchMoreEagle
“NTA. It’s going to be hard to convince your mum, but ultimately it’s your life, not hers.”
“You may need to talk to your father and see if he can persuade her.”
“Get the facts on electrician salaries and how you can have your own business.”
“Do some business studies whilst at school.”
“Not sure of the situation in Canada, I’m Australian, and all trades are really in demand and can charge a lot of money.”
“We’re actively importing tradies here, we just can’t get enough.”
“If that’s what you want to do, you should try your utmost to do so.”
“It’s a good, solid career.”
“It’s not like you just want to drop out of school to veg out.” ~ hollyjazzy
“NTA. As long as people use electricity, then electricians will always be in demand, and that makes them more than the losers your mother perceives them to be.”
“You want the person working your home’s wiring to do a good job after all.”
“It’d be more productive to work out why you’re not engaging these classes better, that way you have information to work with instead of just being expected to do better.”
“Grounding you for the summer isn’t going to do any help.”
“Can you talk to your teachers and explain the expectations your mother has and what she’ll do if you don’t meet them?”
“Engineering could be something to look into, if you have a creative side, then that also opens up architecture, since math is important for that.” ~ lemon_charlie
“NTA. You present your mom with some figures.”
“How much can you make?”
“What kind of training will you get to reach the goal?”
“If you present it logically AND CALMLY, she really doesn’t have an argument.”
“If she does, you can always emancipate when you are 18.” ~ Big_Bookkeeper1678
“NTA. Just remember, if you are a carpenter with a business degree gives you the means to start your own company.”
“Don’t shut doors that haven’t already been closed!” ~ D0lan99
“NTA. AI isn’t gonna be able to rewire a house anytime soon, and electricians set their own rates and hours.”
“You could potentially compromise with your parents by becoming an electrical engineer, or getting into a school course for engineering, but only if you actually wanna do that.” ~ Mobile_Sorbet4629
“NTA. I’m a retired Electrical Engineer, and I can testify electrician is a great career.”
“If you love math, engineering might work, but I worked with quite a few electricians who put me to shame.”
“I do highly recommend business classes if that’s a possibility.”
“If you want to open a shop, you’ll need the training.” ~ Pbevivino
“I teach at a college.”
“I see young people who are there because their parents want them there.”
“A lot of students fail out or drag themselves through with a 2.2 GPA.”
“You are NTA.”
“That’s a common immigrant mindset, I think.”
“I work with someone who graduated from Harvard Law, hated being a lawyer, and went to grad school for a PhD, getting an assistant professor position at the age of 37.” ~ Opening_Past5943
“NTA, you only get one life.”
“Live it on your terms.” ~ tb0904
OP came back to chat…
“Thanks for all the responses.”
“I’m glad that most people are supportive.”
“I just wanted to add that my mom is genuinely a good person, we just don’t always see eye to eye.”
“Also, my mom has never been the type of person to care about anything anyone has to say, so I’m positive that she isn’t trying to secure bragging rights or feels the desire to say ‘my son, the doctor.’”
“Also, we’re immigrants from the Middle East (Palestinian to be exact), not South Asia.”
“My dad is an accomplished dentist who owns a dental practice, and there are many doctors in my family, and others were studying to become doctors.”
Reddit is with you, OP.
This is YOUR life.
Electricians make great money.
Stay strong and do what makes you happy.
Good Luck.