As of the third quarter of 2025, total credit card debt in the United States reached a record $1.23 trillion. The average American carries a balance of approximately $6,523.
Credit card debt is increasing due to inflation, high interest rates, and predatory practices by creditors that target teens and college students specifically.
One in seven Gen Z credit card users are “maxed out” on their credit cards with 16% of young adults (18-24) showing credit card and auto debt in collections on their credit reports.
Some people are also victims of identity theft perpetrated by their parents or legal guardians who opened lines of credit in their names. It’s especially prevalent among children in the foster care system who may be targeted by their birth parents or foster parents.
Children in U.S. foster care often age out with significant credit card debt and financial problems because their personal info is accessible to many adults (emergency placements, longterm guardians, caseworkers) in the system.
Federal law mandates free credit checks for older foster children, but compliance is poor, leaving children with fraudulent accounts, collection calls, and major barriers to housing and education once they reach age 18.
A young person turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback after their mother opened a line of credit without their consent.
Shoddy_Secret_1119 asked:
“AITA for not accepting this birthday gift?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I’m turning 21 soon and found out my mom applied for and got approved for a credit card in my name. My initial reaction was ‘oh! um.. okay?’.”
“I told her I recently applied to one, and she was disappointed that I did that because she already did it for me. She basically said I ruined her ‘surprise’.”
“The next day, I told her not to do it again. She got really upset and blew up at me.”
“She said she had good intentions, and she’s never done any wrong to me. I just hate her reaction, you know?”
“immediately started yelling, calling me ungrateful, disrespectful, and said how she’s not the ‘enemy’. She had said how all her friends and even her boyfriend said it was a good gift too.”
“it’s just a regular student credit card from what i know. She told me the limit, but didn’t tell me she put money down for it, and that I need to learn responsibility.”
“From what i know, she just used my info and put the card in my name. She didn’t tell me she’d pay it off, so her gift was opening a line of credit in my name.”
“I tried to defend myself, saying how that’s not a good gift, and she told me to shut up. it’s been a long week tbh. she never apologizes and i can’t talk about my feelings without her being either dismissive or full on victim blaming and yelling.”
“I really want to move out, but I currently don’t have the funds. Just wanted to know if im the a**hole for reacting this way to a ‘birthday gift’?”
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
“Not accepting a birthday gift that was a credit card in my name is not accepting it making me the a**hole?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) aside from their crimes against grammar.
“Pull your credit reports and lock down your credit ASAP. You didn’t ruin a surprise gift; you outed that she’s stolen your credit. NTA.” ~ Fun-Holiday9016
“She had to forge OP’s signature. This is fraud, and please call the credit card company and report the card lost so they can issue you a card with a different number, one your mom doesn’t have.”
“Make sure there are no other authorized users. You could cancel the card, but it might affect your credit score. Freeze your credit. She didn’t do you a favor.” ~ lovenorwich
“In the US at least, the business can notate that it was a fraudulent account and POSSIBLY push that to the credit bureaus to potentially render it (essentially) inert for future calculation – if not removed entirely – the open, close, and any related hard credit inquiry the application created.”
“Additionally, individuals can dispute credit report errors to the credit bureaus to report the fraud (ideally – report to each, don’t rely on them ‘syncing up’, they won’t), though I believe a dispute needs to include an identity theft report to the authorities as additional investigation of fraud (can be rough when it’s mom who opened the account if you don’t want mom to get in trouble for it).”
“If the credit bureaus cannot remove it entirely (used to be able to though) – they can at least notate the related account as fraudulent and people pulling your report in future (credit applications etc) would be able to see that. Even if it doesn’t ultimately fix the credit score back to an ‘as before fraud’ status – it goes a long way if additional accounts or debts opened by mom are discovered later too.”
“The best-case should be a net zero change to the score from the original after reporting the fraudulent account. So that shouldn’t factor into the decision to report the account as opened fraudulently.” ~ All-The-Nope
“NTA. That’s not a birthday gift, that’s identity theft.”
“Freeze your credit at all credit reporting agencies so she can’t ‘give’ you this ‘gift’ again. Also, maybe cancel that card—she may have spending access to it.” ~ IamIrene
“Cancel the card your mom set up IMMEDIATELY! She could have added herself as a secondary on the account, giving herself access to see what you’ve bought and even to use a second card that you’d be liable for paying/ruining your credit.”
“What she did is illegal as well.”
“My uncle set up a card in her son’s name, ran up $50k in debt, and ended up in jail over it. His dad pressed charges when he found out.” ~ Head-Emotion-4598
“FREEZE YOUR CREDIT!! Please lock down your credit with all three bureaus. Locking it is free.”
“You will be asked to create a password, so make sure you have a paper and pen to write it down, but do not let your mother have access to it. This is a personal violation for your mother to do this. NTA.” ~ Ok_Nobody4967
“NTA. Run, do not walk, to Transunion, Experian, and Equifax websites and freeze your credit with all three. Or subscribe to a paid solution like Lifelock if you can afford it, which makes the process a bit easier.”
“While there, pull your free credit report from one of them and see how many cards she has opened and what the balance is on any of them. If there are more accounts than she said or a balance on any of them, file a police report.”
“If she has access to any of your bank accounts, open new accounts that she does not have access to (you may need to unfreeze your credit to do this or do it before freezing) and move all your money.”
“Write her an email (yes, I know it may be weird to email your mom, but do it anyway so you have a written record) outlining what you discovered, reiterating that you never gave her permission to open any accounts in your name, and instructing her to hand over all cards and account information for the accounts she opened so you can contact the banks/card issuers and explain they were opened without your permission and figure out how you can close them.”
“If there is an outstanding balance on any accounts, demand immediate payment or, if she has no money, set up a payment plan. Tell her you will file a civil lawsuit against her if she does not comply.” ~ JeepersCreepers74
“NTA. Her applying for a credit card in your name is FRAUD.”
“I would highly recommend that you create a username and password for all of the credit bureaus and FREEZE YOUR CREDIT EVERYWHERE. Put on an additional fraud alert for good measure.” ~ Spare-Shirt24
“NTA—in what world is opening a credit card under your name for you a gift to you? That isn’t a gift at all. Your reaction is totally valid.” ~ littlest_bug
“NTA! Make sure she didn’t make herself an authorized user on your account and have the account canceled!” ~ Bae_Mes
“NTA. This is not a gift, you could have done this on your own.” ~ answopes
“NTA. This isn’t a birthday present, it’s literally credit card fraud, so textbook it could go in textbooks.” ~ axw3555
“Fraudulent credit cards are not a gift. Debt is not a gift. Guilt is not a gift.” ~ macattakk37
The OP provided a very short update:
“ended up getting the card I applied for in the mail and checked everything. We still haven’t talked since then, but no other harm was done. Thank you all for the advice and comments !!”
Whether OP’s mother intended no harm or planned to exploit the OP’s clean credit record, the gift part of this gift is hard to find.
Refusing a dubious at best gift didn’t make OP an a**hole.