Everyone is different, and everyone is born with some unique features, like a rare eye color, bright blonde streaks in their hair, or particular birthmarks.
But there are some people who celebrate these unique features and other close-minded people who judge people for having them, side-eyed the users of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Bright-Artist-9653’s three-year-old daughter was born with a noticeable birthmark on her cheek, and she raised her to understand that she was beautiful and unique.
But when she overheard her sister making fun of her toddler and even saying that she’d have to “make up for” her looks when she got older, the Original Poster (OP) was furious, hurt, and refused to babysit her niece for her sister anymore.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for telling my sister I won’t babysit her daughter anymore after what she said about mine?”
The OP’s daughter was born with a unique birthmark on her face.
“I (30 Female) have a three-year-old daughter, Lila, who was born with a noticeable birthmark on her cheek. It’s harmless, and we’re teaching her to be confident and kind no matter what.”
In addition to taking care of her daughter, the OP frequently cared for her niece, Ava.
“My sister (33 Female) has a six-year-old daughter, Ava, and I’ve helped raise her.”
“I babysat her all the time, took time off work when my sister was struggling, and have even helped financially now and then.”
But when the OP overheard her sister say something hurtful about Lila, everything changed.
“Last week, I walked into my sister’s kitchen after picking Lila up from daycare and overheard her talking to Ava and her friend.”
“She said something like, ‘Lila’s going to have to be extra nice when she’s older. She’s cute now, but that birthmark isn’t going away.'”
“I stood frozen.”
“Ava giggled at what her mom said.”
“Her friend just said, ‘That’s mean,’ and my sister laughed in response.”
“I didn’t say anything then. I just turned around and left with Lila.”
The OP decided she and Lila needed to distance themselves from her sister and Ava.
“Later, I texted her and said I’m done babysitting Ava.”
“She called me dramatic, said I was overreacting to a ‘stupid joke,’ and now she’s furious because her backup sitter fell through and she had to miss work.”
“Our mom says I’m punishing Ava for something she didn’t do and making family drama over ‘hurt feelings.'”
“AITAH for cutting her off over that?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that her sister didn’t deserve her babysitting.
“The sister was bullying OP’s daughter with other kids! And when the girl told the sister that she was being mean, she laughed it out.”
“F**k around and find out. Your sister sucks and doesn’t deserve ANYTHING.” – NHFNCFRE
“Your mom is wrong. You are not punishing Ava. You are punishing your cruel, mean sister.”
“Most importantly, you’re protecting your daughter from bullying and what I’m sure was really sh**ty babysitting. NTA.” – Tight_Jaguar_3881
“These people ALWAYS drag innocent children in so they can make the child THE REAL victim here, instead of the injured party.”
“It’s deflection at its most manipulative. Mother should be shunned, too. NTA.” – grayblue_grrrrl
“NTA for cutting her off. Sorry you’re now being sucked into family drama. You’re not ‘punishing’ Ava, you’re protecting your child, and that’s a good thing.” – morepics2024hw
“Well, OP’s mom told her she’s punishing her niece for something she didn’t do. Apparently, spending time with her own mother is seen as punishment for that little girl so everyone knows her sister is an a**.” – leyavin
“OP’s daughter is likely going to grow up being bullied by Ava and whatever friends she has over and influences to do the same. Disgusting behavior, I would limit my interaction with them to being civil at family gatherings and leave it at that.” – courtxx
Others agreed and pointed out the niece was learning to be just as cruel as her mother.
“Ava laughing at the comment sounds like she’s used to hearing it from her mom…”
“It’s worse when the bullying comes from family. It hits deeper. And those so-called family even have the gall to call it a joke.” – toastandturn
“Even Ava’s friend said the comment was mean! A six-year-old behaves better than the adult sister.” – CB4life
“She’s teaching her daughter to be a bully, which is what my aunt and uncle did with their kids.”
“As much as I know my cousins are just a product of their environment, they still all grew up to be s**tty people and a slight blood relation doesn’t mean I have to put up with it.” – Caitsyth
“Worse, it wasn’t even the daughter who said she was being mean. The daughter laughed. It was her friend that said the comment was mean. That just tells Lila already has or will be bullied from both sides. Better to get out of that situation now rather than later.” – hiddenone0326
“The little girl was brave enough to voice what was right!! It speaks volumes that the most mature in the conversation was the child.”
“That girl is being raised right, it’s unfortunate that she has an adult like OP’s sister in her life trying to undermine it.”
“I would absolutely reach out to that kid’s mom and tell her what a good kid her daughter is for standing up to bullying and hopefully she would keep her kid away from these people.” – naida_tez6
“Ava is going to grow up as a bully because her mom is teaching her to be one. Wouldn’t surprise me if she’s said something to Lila out of OP’s hearing.” – ravynwave
“Kids are gonna say a bunch of s**t they don’t realize should be said. And some comments maybe shouldn’t be said, and some are better said in private and not to just to or in front of whoever.”
“You can’t always control when your kid is gonna say something inappropriate, but this was not handled well by OP’s sister.” – Upset-Stomach519
“Children repeat what they hear from their parents. Ava’s friend has been well raised because she realized what you sister said, along with Ava’s laughter, were mean… something the parent should be teaching against, not encouraging.”
“NTA.” – mca2021
A group of Redditors lined up just to point out what a jerk the OP’s sister was being.
“Tell your sister I said she’s a jerk.” – Dazzling_Flight_3365
“She really is such a jerk. It’s one thing to have a private thought, but to vocalize such a cruel sentiment about a three-year-old and then laugh about it is CRUEL AND OUT OF LINE.” – CharLieLyuh
“She is a jerk. The fact that she placed future beauty on one birthmark says more about her. Clearly, she’s never heard of Cindy Crawford, Winnie Harlow, or Yulianna Yussef, renowned supermodels.”
“I’d tell my sister, she should do everything she can to keep hold of her looks, because when she eventually grows up (she’s clearly still immature), she doesn’t even have a personality to save her.” – Redd1tmadesignup
“NTA. Your sister is for belittling your daughter behind her back. Even her daughter’s friend knows better.” – LimeInternational856
“This isn’t just a stupid joke. This is undermining a child’s developing self-esteem through bullying. It’s BAD BAD to mock someone’s perceived flaws.” – Jonabel_Sweet_8818
“She joked about it in front of older children! That’s setting the child up for bullying. Your sister is a monster.” – Eshabelle
“To vocalize it to a couple of six-year-olds is teaching them to be mean girls. The one child got it. How long before niece starts telling your daughter she is ugly … because mommy said so.” – GoodAcanthocephata95
“I have scars all over from surgeries starting at 10 days old. I fully embrace them. Makes me unique. I don’t care if people stare. I just stare right back wide-eyed so they know I know what they’re doing. It stops them immediately.”
“True friends won’t give a s**t and will try to protect her from bullies, remind her of this as she grows.” – Sayomi_Koneko
“NTA, because your sister and Ava are undoing the confidence you and her dad are teaching your daughter, and instead teaching her that looks are all that matter. I understand looks matter, but all of us know people who are not conventionally attractive, but their confidence, character, and personality make them outstanding.” – pephm
“I can see it now, the OP is going to tell someone, ‘1000 internet strangers said she’s a jerk,’ lol. Because, YEAH, WE DO.” – FluffyRosa
The subReddit was disgusted by the sister’s behavior and grateful that the OP had reacted so quickly and removed Lila safely from that situation before she could hear more mean commentary.
While we cannot escape looks and attraction in our society, we can do what we can to not prioritize them above moral values, intelligence, and personality.
Clearly from the post, Lila would have these qualities in spades, while Ava would have learned bullying instead.