Should pets be allowed on furniture? Some people are a hard yes, some a hard no, while some say it depends on how nice the furniture is.
Pets in the bed is another bone of contention for people, especially in relationships.
A woman—for whom English isn’t their first language—turned to the “Am I The A**Hole” (AITAH) subReddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
Purple_Hair1877 asked:
“AITAH for not letting my boyfriend move in with me?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (28, female) live alone with my dog (12, female) let’s call her Nina she is my baby I found her and her siblings when they were about 2 weeks old and care for them only two survived sadly but I have to admit I spoiled her since the begining because she barely made it.”
“My boyfriend (30, male) still lives with his mom which is not abnormal in our culture but lately they been fighting a lot because his sister moved back in with her kids and he doesn’t have much space, he has a very good job so he can realistically move out alone but he is very insistant in wanting to move with me.”
“We only been dating for 8 months and I don’t think we are there yet also every time he visits he complains about something about Nina, he got mad the other night because he wanted to sleepover and wanted me to kick Nina out of the bed and I refused I told him before if he doesn’t like it he can literally just break up with me. I’m not changing mine or Nina’s life just because he doesn’t want to move out alone.”
“Well on Friday he got into a big fight with his family because one of his nephews grab his Nintendo switch and damage it or something and he came to my have with all his things packed pretending to just stay over without telling me and immediately trying to change things around he said Nina can sleep in the floor in our room or in the living room but he ain’t living with a dog who is on the furniture.”
“To make the long story short I kicked him out and told him he never even asked if he could come over and Nina lives here, he doesn’t. He yelled a lot and got even more mad when I didn’t reacted. He left and it’s been texting me from a hotel telling me he’s losing money because I’m mean and a bad girlfriend.”
“I told him we’ll talk again once he gets his own place. I told my friends about it and some of them were on my side but others said I was prioritizing a dog over a human and yes maybe but why is it so wrong?”
“I started doubting myself but I’m not really willing to make my dog suffer because he can’t adapt to her or find his own place so AITAH?”
“I wanted to break up but my friends said I was overreacting, so I doubt myself.”
“But my best friend said that even if you just don’t like the way they breathe, you’re allowed to break up.”
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP only mistake was not kicking this guy to the curb (NTA).
“NTA, Break up with this guy—not just because he cant respect that your dog lives there—but because he doesnt respect YOU and the rules in YOUR home. If you let him move in he will just take over, and he’ll probably abuse your dog when you’re not around.”
“This guy doesn’t communicate with you, he imposes himself on you without warning and then tries to throw his weight around. He truly isn’t worth your time. he sounds like a nightmare.” ~ Kindly_Candy_4831
“Besides him being a hobosexual, he is not a dog person and you are. Find someone who is and have a happy life. You can do far better than him.” ~ MeasurementNatural95
“There are so many times opposites attract, so many things a couple can have respectful, contrasting opinions about.”
“But, a person who loves animals and a person who can’t stand animals will never be happy together. One will always resent the the other, either for having a pet or for never being able to have a pet.” ~ calminthedark
“Boyfriends come and go but you are the center of Nina’s world. You will never be loved like she loves you by your boyfriend. Oh and by the way, he is an aspiring abuser. Please move on. You can do better.” ~ Alternative-Pin5760
“I can’t disagree, the dog part alone makes you (the royal you) incompatible, and the hobosexual behavior just seals it. No reason to downgrade your life for someone who can’t even handle his own housing.” ~ I_Hate_Dogs_and_Cats
“Your friends are morons. Your dog has been your family for 12 years, this dude is just a guy you’ve known for 8 months.”
“A man child who already tried to evict the doggie from the bedroom and move himself in without consent. To all the moron ‘friends’: OF COURSE I’M CHOOSING MY DOG OVER A MAN! Drop the dead weight of the dude and the friends.” ~ BusyAd6096
“Tell them it isn’t just about the dog—it’s about him assuming he can just live there without so much as calling to talk to you about it. It’s about him coming in without warning and wanting to change things around as if he has a right to.”
“He is leaving a cavalcade of bright red flags in his wake—he is a controlling, manipulative man and if they don’t see why you need to break up they aren’t really your friends at all. No D is good enough to put up with that sh*t.” ~ Kindly_Candy_4831
“Yeah, even if there was no dog, if someone showed up at my house and just expected to move in without any discussion I would tell them to get the f*ck out.”
“I hope OP breaks up with him because that dude is crazy for thinking any part of his behavior was/is acceptable.” ~ Urmomlervsme
“Leave him. If you stay, this will only get worse and before you know it Nina will be gone and you’ll completely forget who you are. This man is throwing SO many red flags. If he moves in, it will be all the more difficult to get him out.”
“He already disrespects and completely oversteps his boundaries which means he doesnt care about you. Sorry to be blunt, but I’ve been in a similar situation and I wish someone had told me this before I got deeper into it.” ~ GotTheNurseCurse
“‘Leave him’ means tell him to not call, text, or visit. That he is not welcome.”
“And then block him. And if he comes over, call the police.” ~ MegansettLife
“NTA. He just showed up and was going to tell you how you were going to live. Nope. He wants to move in with you because it would make his life easier, not yours.”
“He doesn’t care how it effects you, how you live, or your dog. Listen to yourself, not your friends. They don’t have to live your life.” ~ Vandreeson
“Those ‘friends’ who think you were overreacting are WRONG. They’re rather dumb too, and they probably think the same way as your (soon-to-be) ex about your dog.”
“That idiot you are dating IS NOT A GOOD PERSON!!! I can promise you he’s an entitled, controlling, immature piece of sh*t.”
“He wants to move in with you so you can cook for him, clean after him, do his dishes, wash his clothes, etc, etc, etc… He needs a woman (you) to play Mommy to him. I can also promise you that he will never ever help you with anything in the house.”
“DUMP THAT TRASH! Never ever betray your dog. Especially not for a filthy and totally worthless piece of garbage like your boyfriend.” ~ YakElectronic6713
“You really need to get away from this man. In no universe will you end up happy if you allow him to stay. I dont know how easy it would be to move or get him out, but he seems like he would manipulate and gaslight you into thinking hes fine and youre overreacting.”
“I cannot stress the importance of protecting yourself. This man is obviously from a culture that puts men first and women cater to them. Even if you are from this culture, you can do better.”
“Please dont second guess this. Look at the way he is objectively. Don’t preface with “well, at least he hasnt…” because there is time for that to happen. He hasn’t gotten marriage from you and already is taking your place over and harming your dog.”
“Don’t let him baby-trap you because that’s most likely next on his agenda.” ~ l00ky_here
“That would NOT be overreacting. Look at how angry he got. That’s a huge red flag.” ~ robble808
“Your friends are WRONG! He turned up, UNINVITED, with ALL his belongings AND tried to TAKE OVER YOUR HOME! Break up and keep your peace. He doesn’t want to live alone because he wants a woman to take care of him.”
“You said yourself he HAS THE MEANS TO MOVE OUT OF HIS MOM’S HOUSE… BUT he hasn’t. WHY?? Because he wants someone to take care of HIS needs. Ignore your friends and get rid of this man child.” ~ rata_s80_v8
Uninvited houseguests who make demands should get just one thing—an invitation to leave and not come back.