Nepotism is a hot-button issue nowadays, especially with how rocky the path to success can be in today’s economy for all but the lucky few.
Even so it can be difficult to resist when a friend or family member asks for preferential treatment and a boost to their career from a powerful acquaintance.
A man on Reddit found himself in this situation when his nephew asked him for a management-level job in his company right out of college. He wasn’t sure how to handle it, so he went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for some input on his hypothetical WIBTA (Would I Be The A**hole) quandary.
The Original Poster (OP) asked:
“WIBTA for refusing to jumpstart my nephew’s career?”
He explained:
“I (42M[ale]) am the owner of a private tech company that I established in my early 30s. I work with people who are truly dedicated to their craft and know their sh*t.”
“My nephew (22M) recently graduated from college and has asked if I could get him a ‘high title job’ in my company to help him progress the corporate ladder faster.”
“Although somewhat understandable, this seems very lazy on his part– I had to put in blood, sweat, and tears to get this company going, and earn the respect of my workers to jump on when they did.”
“I have offered to start him as a low level office worker, but he’s demanded a higher position, saying how he ‘needs this’ especially in the current job market.”
“My employees have all worked to establish their professional careers and If I were to hire him as a management position right out of college, that would immediately show my bias.”
“I don’t want to ruin the reputation of my company and my relationship with my staff.”
“WIBTA for refusing to jumpstart my nephew’s career?”
Redditors were then asked to judge who would be in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Verdict
“…When one of the main tools to success tends to be nepotism. So many people use their connections with their family to give them a better starting point in the job market or college. The saying it’s who you know, is real.”
“It shouldn’t be and I applaud OP that he’s not caving under nephew pressure.” — kawaeri
“Jumpstarting his career WOULD BE getting him a low-level job just because he’s OP’s nephew. Giving this kid a high position would be a terrible, awful idea for everyone involved. The kid won’t be ready for it. The employees will be mad and see OP in a bad light, and then OP won’t be able to fire him or do anything else because then his family will be mad at him.”
“Nope. Sorry. I’d tell the kid to work his way up at another company.” –crystallz2000
“NTA. Don’t light yourself on fire to keep your nephew warm. He would be lucky to get any job at your company—that right there would be a jump start since he would skip over all the regular pains of job searching.”
“He can take what you offer, and demonstrate he is capable and worthy of moving up the ladder, or he can face reality and see how hard it will be on his own.” –Eccentric_Mermaid
“If I were OP I’d consider saying something like:”
“‘Well, I can get you a head start in the interview queue, but I’ll need to excuse myself from being part of it obviously. Let me know when you think you’re ready, and I’ll get my recruitment team to slot you into the next interviewing intake. Good luck with it, we’re pretty particular who we hire, and the interviews are brutal, you’ll need to make sure you’re riught on top of your game just the same as every other candidate…'” –f02f2e6fa0b3
“This! NTA. Time for your nephew to face reality. Very few people start at the top. Mixing business and family rarely works. If you don’t have any other family or friends working their you could tell him ‘Sorry but I have a rule regarding not hiring family or friends.'” –JanetAz18
“NTA. You’d be risking your business (and the trust of your employees) by putting someone with no real experience in a high position.” –rpepperpot_reddit
“NTA also a ‘high-title’ position fresh out of college would look suspicious to anyone looking at their resume in the future.”
“Hmmm graduated college in 2022 and started as a Chief of Tech Stuff in the same year?” –logicalsanity
“True, my husband is a tax agent and he sees this stuff all the time. Fresh grads immediately becoming directors and getting 10k a month salary whereas other staff are working their behinds off to actually make the company’s profits.”
“OP is NTA and nephew is an entitled AH.” –nomadl17
“He wants nepotism, instant gratification and dishonest promotions…. If you have integrity an want to maintain a reputation then give him a low level job, he probably has no meaningful work experience or shining resume, he should be grateful to even be offered a job instead of trying to use you. Nta” –Escape_Overlander
“Hell no, NTA!! Honesty its cheating and will not help him. You need to experience these things. Maybe if you have a big heart you can give an interview and give him some hard technical questions or about people management. Give some real world scenarios and see how he would react.” –bigboyrobbie_ray
“NTA, he wants a job he hasn’t earned yet and probably does not have the professional experience to be successful in. You offered him an entry level job which is more than generous.” –photosbeersandteach
“NTA. Job market is very healthy right now. He’ll be fine; he just has to get off his a**. Feel free to offer him an entry-level role if you have one and he’s a good fit (sounds like that’s unlikely). Otherwise, so sorry, but you’re not hiring right now.” –epithet_grey
“Job market is very healthy right now.”
“Admittedly it’s easier to get a job when you already have a job, but I literally just half a**ed some applications around Thanksgiving last year – didn’t even go on any company websites, just clicked some ‘quick apply’ roles on various recruiter sites that I had my resume uploaded to… and had a new job that was a huge upgrade in both title and pay by the 2nd week of December.”
“I worked in tech prior to this new job, which is a different industry I’ve never worked in before and knew little about, I just happened to have a few particular skills that they were looking for.” –ertrinken
“You would not be an AH. You owe him nothing and it is very nice to even offer him a position. It looks like he has lessons to learn still, and you can tell him these are the lessons he ‘needs’.” –Dognamedturtle
“well, do you have a high-level vacancy in your company at the moment? and if so, does he have the experience needed to meet the requirements of the role? if the answer to either of these questions is no, then NTA. He needs to start at an appropriate level and work his way to the top”
“just make a rule that managerial positions require X years experience.”
“(in my experience, 3-5 years of experience in the right field with no degree is worth a hell of a lot more than a degree and no experience)” –Ardeeke
“I like how’s he’s demanding a higher position that he hasn’t earned. People work hard to get to that point and pick up valuable experience that can’t be duplicated by just sliding into a big title like that. Your employees with notice if you do this and respect you less. It will impact moral.”
“You may even lose some of those valuable employees as a result. And I bet your nephew will suck in that higher title position and cause problems. Stick to what you’ve offered him and no more. Tell him he needs to prove himself like everyone else.” –Misscontrariwise
“I had a friend in college who graduated with a journalism degree and refused to apply to entry level roles because they felt they ‘deserved’ to immediately be editor, since they’d been the editor of their college newsletter.”
“Cue nearly 5 years of unemployment before making the decision to go to an Ivy League college to get a masters in journalism.”
“Cue another few years of unemployment and way more student debt before they finally caved and took a sh*tty assistant role.” –ertrinken
“NTA. Beggars can’t be choosers. Starting him on the lowest ring on the ladder is the best opportunity you could have offered him. Also, nepotism is a thing.”
“I remember when I moved across the country with my spouse, and we only survived because somebody was like you, Op. Giving us a chance to start.” –DescriptionFun9775
Hopefully OP can find a way to work this out with his nephew.