Disney is said to be the happiest place on Earth.
And who wouldn’t want to treat their family to a magical vacation if it’s in the budget?
Going even further, who wouldn’t want to treat their family and their girlfriend’s ex’s family, too?
Oh, right… Most people.
A guy on Reddit, though, got in a fight with his girlfriend because she expects him to pay for her ex’s family to join in on their family adventure, so he turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor Livid_Chipmunk_2644 asked:
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Maybe it will be ex-girlfriend soon.”
“Ashley and I have been together for three years.”
“Her kids are 9 and 12.”
“I get along with them, and they are good kids.”
“I’m not their da,d but they are polite and respectful.”
“My parents have bought them Christmas and birthday gifts ever since they met.”
“I had a good year, and I wanted to do something nice for the kids.”
“Ashley and I talked about it, and we were going to take the kids to Disney World over Christmas.”
“The problem is that her ex wants to pitch in and come as well with his wife and their kid.”
“I don’t really want to go on a holiday with this guy and his family.”
“I talked to Ashley and I said I would prefer if it were just us since this is our first big ‘family’ holiday.”
“She said that her ex really wanted to be there for the kid’s first trip to Disney.”
“We argued, and I gave in.”
“Then the plan was told to me.”
“He really can’t afford to stay where we were going to stay, so he and Ashley decided that I should change our reservation and stay somewhere cheaper.”
“Fine, I don’t really care.”
“I wanted to treat the kids to something awesome but as long as we stay somewhere nice then in happy.”
“We chose a good neighbor hotel at Disney Springs.”
“It’s nice and still allows for early entrance and has character events and such.”
“It turns out that what was supposed to happen was I cancel our reservations at the Grand Floridian and use the money to pay for an extra suite at the other hotel.”
“Their idea of him pitching in was paying for flights for his wife and kid.”
“I said f**k no.”
“Ashley said that the kids really want their dad there.”
“I said that he was welcome to take them.”
“She said I was being cheap since I could afford to do this.”
“I can, but that’s not the point.”
“I do not want to do this.”
“I can afford to do a lot of things.”
“I only do them if I want to do so.”
“We had a big fight and gave her the tickets for her and the kids to go, and I canceled the flights and hotel.”
“Now she is mad at me because she went through all the trouble and expense of getting the kid’s passports and luggage and stuff.”
“I told her to tell me what that cost, and I will reimburse her.”
“Her ex called me to say I was being a pr*ck and hurting his kids.”
“I said it probably hurt them more when he had a kid with another woman and left their mom to go be with her.”
“I don’t think I’m in the wrong here, but maybe an outside opinion would help.”
“Thanks.”
“Ps. Her ex is a manipulative POS.”
“He still tries to control her, and I’m sick of it.”
Redditors weighed in on the situation and decided OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA.”
“A gift you are gifting shouldn’t be on someone else’s terms.” – Mobile_Prune_3207
“NTA.”
“He wants you to pay for his hotel by downgrading yours? LoL.”
“Did he expect you to pay for his passes too.”
“What a leech.” – No_Lavishness_3206
“Your girlfriend, not wife, expects you to pay for her ex-husband and his Affair partner/ wife and all their kids to fly to the US, pay for their hotel and resort tickets?”
“She must be out of her damned mind.”
“NTAH” – Mother_Search3350
“NTA. She bit the hand that is providing, and now she is being slapped with boundaries.”
“I would have canceled the minute she included her ex.”
“If she wanted them there for her kids’ sake, then he can pay for that all by himself.”
“Her ex still controls her.”
“I would not be reimbursing her for the passports.”
“Those Disney tickets for Disney during Christmas are around $200 -$300 each.”
“I would Inform you that the kids were a package deal, but her ex was not.”
“She is making him part of the deal of being along with his new family.”
“This is a no-brainer to end the relationship.”
“She over-stepped too many times.”
“Deal breaker in so many ways.” – Additional_Way1346
“NTA.”
“You planned a trip for your family, and her ex tried to take over while expecting you to pay.”
“Not your responsibility.”
“Boundaries are valid; he can take his kids himself if it’s that important.” – PervyMoon
“NTA – your girlfriend gave up staying at the Grand Floridian, an experience her kids would have remembered for the rest of their lives!”
“Fire works every night! 5 minutes from MK and luxury rooms!”
“For her ex! Wow!”
“She chose him over her kids!”
“Nah, she wanted to be at the same place as him!”
“Because she wanted the Disney magic to bring them back together! “
He may have left her, but that doesn’t mean she stopped loving him.”
“Ask her outright if she still loves him.”
“Sorry OP, but I would move on.” – Nervous-Tea-7074
“NTA. But passports and luggage costs?”
“You must not be in the US.”
“Definitely an ex-GF” – NotShockedFruitWeird
“NTA… why do you need to pay for the ex?”
“He wants to intrude, but he can pay his own way.”
“I’d say dump your gf cuz she doesn’t have your back.” – ThisEnvironment6627
“Definitely NTA.”
“Can’t believe they all EXPECTED you to pay for most everything, even the ex and his new family.”
“People need to stop trying to take advantage of someone’s generosity.”
“GF should’ve explained to her kids (who are plenty old enough to understand) that since the parents are divorced, they couldn’t expect both parents to be present for everything.”
“I personally think she was a bit of an AH to actually think you should accept her ex coming along.” – ChatKat1957
“NTA. I wouldn’t have even offered to reimburse her. The ex should have chipped in for his own kids passport and luggage.” – dessertchef11
“This is a huge red flag.”
“Ashley apparently is fine with you paying for her cheating ex and his new family?”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“You aren’t their ATM and they’re all screwed up for treating you as one.”
“NTA at all.” – FasterThanNewts
“NTA.”
“Good job for having a backbone and standing up for yourself and not letting yourself being used.” – Pretend_Protection73
“NTA leave her asap!!!”
“Just because you can afford it doesn’t mean they take over and you become the atm if they all went you would still be paying for things you shouldn’t have to.”
“To the person who called you a AH didn’t think things through all the rest of the cost you would have to pay because it will literally be thousands, not even including things in the park a freaking churro is like $2.50 for one and add other food costs omg and if you want fast passes f that so screw that person just break up with her!”
“Save yourself and your wallet !! 🏃 🏃 🏃 🚩🚩🚩🚩” – LostShoe737
“Definitely NTA.”
“Paying for your girlfriend’s ex is just absurd. You are not responsible for his time with his kids. If he wants to take them somewhere, he pays for it, and that’s that.”
“Can’t afford? Too bad, plan something else or save money.”
“Next thing you know, you will be paying for food for everyone, buying extra gifts for all the kids because they will want something there.”
“If girlfriend has the audacity to ask for something like that, maybe you should ask yourself if you want this kind of person in your future where ‘what’s mine is yours,’ because it will be shared with that ex.” – IAmKicky
“NTA.”
“Red flag—-they are USING YOU TO FUND THEIR FAMILY REUNION.”
“Run fast and far from this.”
“I truly feel bad for the kids as they are innocent victims in this- this is their parents fault, be gentle with them, but you need to protect yourself.” – Kgates1227
“You’re definitely not the a-hole here.”
“It’s completely fair to want a trip that’s just you, Ashley, and the kids without her ex tagging along.”
“You also made it clear that you were willing to contribute, but only in a way that you felt comfortable with.”
“It sounds like Ashley should have communicated better and respected your wishes more.” – Plastic-Ad-8340
According to his fellow Redditors, OP has no reason to feel bad for canceling the trip.
However, it sounds like there are some big conversations and decisions in his near future.