Despite the deep connection felt between two people that get married, their families aren’t always destined to be so in sync.
A recent post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit illustrated one form that dynamic can take.
The Original Poster (OP), known as AITAmom2021 on the site, divulged the source of the beef right in the post’s title.
“AITA for telling my husband I wasn’t feeling comfortable with him wearing shorts around his mom?”
Things began when OP’s mother-in-law came to town.
“Me [26-year-old female] and my husband [29-year-old male] have been married for few months.”
“His family lives in another town hours away. His mother came to stay with us for few days after a conflict between her and her husband.”
Then OP shed light on some stark familial differences.
“Here’s the thing, unlike my in-laws, my family is very conservative I grew up in a conservative household and I see stuff at other people’s house that can make me feel uncomfortable.”
“I do my best to be open minded but because of my upbringing old habits sort of die hard.”
“My in-laws are the opposite. They are very open minded. My husband is very close to his mother specifically.”
Then OP got into specifics.
“The issue began when my husband and I were sleeping at 7am when his mom knocked on the door wanting help with something.”
“My husband got out of bed and went to meet her downstairs. I was half asleep but then I was already awake when he came back into the bedroom.”
Then OP was struck with a concern.
“He started talking about an issue with the oven while mom was trying to make us breakfast.”
“I wasn’t paying much attention to what he was saying because I kept wondering how he was able to go outside the bedroom and meet his mom while wearing shorts.”
OP felt the need to share.
“I pointed that out and it somehow made him upset asking if I was serious.”
“I told him I just didn’t feel comfortable with him wearing shorts around his mom and he lashed out saying it wasn’t bit deal and found it strange to be uncomfortable with him wearing shorts around his mom since that’s his mom.”
“I shrugged and said I can’t help but feel this way and suggested he wear pants or jeans since all of them are accessible and take him no time to put on.”
“He lashed out calling me ridiculous and to stop acting as if it was a big deal.”
The back and forth continued from there.
“We argued back and forth and then he got extremely upset with me even though I only asked him to not do that again.”
“He said he didn’t apprecite what I said and said ‘it’s my house I can wear what I want to,’ then went downstairs and had breakfast with his mom without even asking name to join them.”
“I felt bad because I might’ve hamdlercthis conversation poorly but I think he refused to listen to what I had to say and just acted dismissively towards my feelings.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors were totally opposed to OP’s take on wearing shorts at home.
“YTA. You don’t get to police his clothing. I get that you were raised conservatively, but it’s honestly weird that you’re sexualizing his relationship with his mother.” — onablanketwithmybaby
“YTA – here’s an uncomfortable thought for you: that woman had changed his diapers and possibly breastfed him.” — asianingermany
“He refused to listen because you are being absolutely ridiculous. It’s time to grow up. YTA” — GokrakenWA
“Conservative doesn’t cover this. My family is very old country and conservative Catholic. This sounds more like some 50s era nonsense where a man should be in a suit and a hat as soon as he wakes up.”
“Shorts are not weird. Nor are swim trunks, boxers, jockey shorts, or really anything that covers his junk. Hell, he could wear a dress if he wanted to. As long as his shit’s covered, it’s all good. YTA here.” — genericreddituser147
“YTA. This woman literally birthed him. She has seen every inch of his body already. Further, your feelings about dressing conservatively are not a valid excuse to dictate what your partner wears.”
“If you can’t get over other people not dressing the way you want, then that’s something you need to work on personally.” — DisgruntledPelican54
Some could barely believe it.
“Umm.. what did i even just read?”
“My son wanders around in shorts first thing in the morning.. that’s what a NORMAL son does around his mother. Are you seriously suggesting that there’s something wrong with wearing shorts around your own MOTHER?”
“Even if he was bare a** naked, so what? that’s HER SON.”
“I’m disturbed that you would 1) think it was weird that your husband was wearing shorts around HIS MOTHER, and 2) that you think you can order him to do something and he should comply.”
“You are his wife.. not his ruler. You do not get to order him to do anything..ever. YTA.” — singing_stream
YTA. What the fu**? Is he ‘allowed’ to wear shorts in public, around other women? Is it only his mom he’s not able to wear shorts in front of?”
“And seriously, what is your deal with sports not being acceptable? Even if it’s boxers, it’s his MOM. My boys will occasionally walk around in boxers (and they’re 8, 12, and 18), and I’ve seen my girls (16 and 14) walk around in gym shorts and sports bras.”
“There’s nothing wrong with what he’s wearing in front of his mom, and you have major issues for thinking it’s unacceptable. Seriously, I’d look into therapy if I were you, because your views are NOT normal.” — yepanotherjennifer
“Wow, you gonna lash him if he shows ankle too? Wtf did I just read?”
“Shorts are such a stupid hill to die on. Sounds like you are controlling. Not very considerate of you.” — I-Ponder
With both her husband and the entire Reddit thread opposing her view, OP will be forced to find some way to accept his shorts-wearing.