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Couple Balks After They’re Berated For ‘Lewd Behavior’ By Recently-Divorced Dinner Guest

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Redditor Lumpy-Boss352 is a 44-year-old woman who hosted a dinner party that ended abruptly.

She and her 46-year-old husband have a 14-year-old son, and their party guests were the son’s best friend and his mother.

The Redditor said the boy’s mother was quiet until she “blew up out of nowhere.”

When the mother left with her son, the Redditor visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and wondered if her behavior was the reason for the dramatic exit.

She asked:

“AITA for being ‘inappropriate’ with my husband in front of my son’s friend and his mom?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My husband ‘Will’ and I had my son’s best friend (both are 14 male) and his mom (47 female) over for dinner. I thought everything was going fine.”

“The mom, who I will call S, was kind of quiet, but the kids seemed to be having fun. Then while Will and I were getting desert ready, S blew up out of nowhere.”

“I will say Will and I are pretty affectionate with one another. We enjoy each other’s company. During dinner one of us would occasionally lean on each other or grab the other’s hand.”

“While we were getting desert ready (the dining room table can see the kitchen Bc it is just on the other side of the counter island) we were goofing off a little bit. We laughing and pushing each other a little, we would hip bump each other and occasionally give each other a peck on the lips or cheek.”

“One of the times my husband gave me a peck on the lips, S starting yelling. She said that she has had enough of our ‘lewd’ behavior and that she and her son were leaving Bc they were uncomfortable.”

“Her son started to say he wasn’t but she cut him off. I have never considered this to be lewd behavior and told her that, but she got angry again and said it was just ‘inappropriate’ for us to act like that in front of guests and in front of our own son. They then left.”

“My son was confused and upset that they left. My husband told me afterwards that he thinks she is just upset Bc she recently got a divorce.”

“I don’t think we acted inappropriately but I want to be sure. As a mother I wouldn’t want someone being inappropriate in front of my son.”

AITA?

Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole here for being affectionate with her husband. At least initially.

“NTA. She is and clearly she’s got some hang ups about intimacy.” – jrm1102

“‘Lewd’? A married couple being affectionate towards each other. God give me strength to endure. S probably has some serious issues and may have been having a bad day already but NYP and NTA.” – HerefsAndrew

“The level of intimacy is sweet on the one hand and not exactly rude, but also not a level of intimacy I’d expect shown around a guest, especially not one you’re having over for the first time.”

“Everything I’ve been ‘taught’ about hosting does suggest both adult hosts leaving the other adult guest alone for long enough to repeatedly hip bump/flirt/kiss is rude especially when you’re basically in the same room ignoring her. Like whispering to eachother would be rude, leaving her to interact with the children, effectively a fifth wheel.”

“You’re nta and her reaction is more than likely related to her divorce but as far as hosting goes it wasn’t great.” – MothmanNFT

“Where are you all getting that they just ignored S? They held hands every now and again while eating, but I’m sure they can manage to hold hands and talk to S at the same time.”

“S was in the dining room while they were in the kitchen getting dessert ready, and sure they goofed off a little, but they were still getting dessert – you know like a good host does.”

“Have you ever held your spouse’s hand? Sometimes you just want that little bit of contact and it feels nice. If hand holding in front of a guest is considered inappropriate or rude, then boy howdy am I terrible host.”

“Goofing around in the kitchen while getting food ready while the guest waits however long it takes to get food together to be served? Lock me up and throw away the key.” – ForeverSam13

“They touched hands during dinner and goofed off a bit while prepping the dessert, so at best friend’s mom was alone for like, 5 minutes? That’s not ‘ignoring her,’ unless you’re unable to keep up any kind of discussion w/ someone while holding someone’s hand.”

“If you can’t manage to not be the center of attention for 5 minutes as a guest, I honestly don’t see the problem with the host, but with the completely ridiculous 1950s expectations of how a guest should be treated.”

“Oh no, both hosts went to prepare a handmade course of the meal they’re serving me, how rude! I must immediately get up and leave to protect my honour, pip pip cheerio and toodeloo, I must go now.” – snorting_dandelions

Some Redditors, however, hesitated to exonerate the OP of her guilt.

“Soft YTA. I love that u guys love each other. But ya. You were acting like flirty couple. First time meets. You don’t leave company alone as a 3rd wheel.”

“I know i don’t appreciate quite that amount of affection from people I’m just meeting. My friends its a little different.”

“I don’t care as much. She was probably more sensitive because of the divorce. I wouldn’t have acted that way.”

“And if i had felt like her. I just wouldn’t have returned. No outburst. No hard feelings. As we just different.”

“Edit : had my kid been there alone. That would have been fine. I have no issues with small pda like that around kids. Its healthy.” – Federal-Ferret-970

“Married or not, not everyone is comfortable around PDA. I mean yeah it’s not really ‘public’ since it’s in your own home, but still, a guest you don’t know very well that you’re meeting for the first time and making an impression on?”

“I’d say the same etiquette applies in that scenario for acting as you would in public to a certain extent. This is your guest, not your third wheel.”

“And of course the whole inconsiderate aspect of it. Everyone keeps mentioning the divorce, but hell I think it’s still inconsiderate without the divorce.”

“EDIT: You know what, f’k it, I’ll say it – YTA. It’s easy to dismiss the woman’s reaction as ‘overreaction’ and ‘being dramatic/causing a scene’ – and maybe she could have expressed herself and her frustration better – but honestly, considering the uncomfortable/awkwardness of the situation and how as I said I believe it is kind of rude even without the divorce – can only begin to imagine how it would be with that factor thrown in there.”

“While most people in such a position would be uncomfortable, they would probably just try their best to ignore it and tune it out and endure it and sulk and brood because they’d be manipulated to want to not upset their hosts, or ’cause a scene’ with someone they don’t really know in their own home.”

“So I say props to her for standing up to it, even though she probably ‘snapped’ and could have expressed herself better or used better words – but f’k it I’m giving her a pass. So my vote is YTA, her reaction was practically justified.” – i_like_it_eilat

“ESH. Very slight YTA for the OP.”

“It is not the display of physical affection for me, it is the amount of physical affection in as short a time as dinner.”

“One peck on the cheek? Fine. Multiple? Starting to go a bit overboard. Add in the hip-checking, pushing, leaning, and hand grabbing, and it all seems a bit much for when you have guests.”

“Perfect for when you are home with just your family. But I can see how a guest would be made uncomfortable by all of this.”

“But S is a much bigger AH. This was not lewd behavior. It might have been a bit much, but it doesn’t sound as if it was so bad as to be called lewd or to deserve an outburst and their immediate exit from the home.” – krankykitty

“YTA. Because you were doing this in front of her knowing of her recent divorce.”

“It’s the timing that was wrong, rather than your actions (assuming that they were as innocent as you claim).”

“You don’t make jokes about death to a person who’s just lost a loved one, and you don’t rub how affectionate your relationship is in the face of someone who’s just broken up. It’s basic manners.” – RevKyriel

When a Redditor pointed out the OP was NTA but maybe slightly “inconsiderate” given the guest’s divorced status, the OP conceded:

“That’s fair. It didn’t occur to me that we were being insensitive, but I definitely could’ve been more considerate.”

Overall, while some Redditors took issue with the couple’s lovey-dovey behavior in front of someone whose marital status was known, a strong majority felt their affection towards each other was far from “lewd.”

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo