Among the many historic events and dynamics that confronted us throughout 2020, one small but significant act took center stage in a way it never had before.
That activity was hand washing.
But for all the public service announcements and social pressure, some people are still trying to spread the word.
In a post to the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit, one woman was even forced to confront her husband.
The Original Poster (OP), known as seau_de_beurre on the site, got specific in the title.
“AITA for asking my husband to wash his hands after he poops?”
OP began the story with the inciting event.
“This morning, my husband [31-year-old male] pooped, as we all do.”
“He came out of the bathroom after just rinsing his hands with water for about two seconds.”
OP couldn’t help but note the brevity.
“I asked him if he’d used soap, he said no. I told him that was gross and he needed to go wash his hands with soap.”
“He said, in an irritated voice, he was about to take our dog on a walk and have to pick up poop anyway, so it didn’t matter.”
“I asked if he usually used soap, and he got aggravated and said yes…which I’m not sure I believe at this point, frankly.”
But it didn’t end there.
“Then he was walking around the house, touching doorknobs, so I asked him again, more firmly, to go and wash his hands before he got poop everywhere.”
“He ignored me. I asked again a third time and said ‘I’m serious, you need to go wash your hands before you touch everything in the house. I don’t want to get norovirus.’ “
“He finally did, very frustrated about it, acting like I was being silly for asking.”
OP’s was struck by the attitude.
“I confronted him about that and he said I was being very rude. I told him it was rude for him to put my health at risk like that. He’s a doctor, and he said, ‘I am in no way putting your health at risk.’ “
“I asked him if he could hear himself right now, and he said ‘I don’t think you hear yourself right now.’ “
“We agreed to put a pin in it and discuss again later.”
The whole thing left OP reflecting.
“AITA for asking my husband repeatedly to wash his hands? I feel ridiculous asking this but he clearly thinks I’m being an a**hole.”
“I don’t think my tone was really aggressive, although it was definitely quite insistent.”
“I’m sure he thinks it’s nbd since he’s taking the dog out anyway, but it’s a big deal to me. Maybe I’m overreacting.”
“But I’m emetophobic (terrified of vomit) and I can’t live in a house with someone who does this.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors shared OP’s disgust.
“NTA for God sake wash your poopy hands people!!! Also one thing we should have learned from the pandemic is the need to was our hands thoroughly.” — Wee-bull
“NTA – what is he a toddler? Washing your hands for more than a couple of seconds after going to poop is what he should be doing. Perhaps if he didn’t feel like doing that, he should have used hand sanitizer.”
“I would think that after this last year that he, like everyone else, has gotten much better with washing their hands. It’s concerning that as a doctor he doesn’t seem to put much weight in hand washing. Doesn’t need to be long – just ten to twenty seconds.” — Not_Cleaver
“This is VILE! Your husband is a doctor and doesn’t wash his hands properly? Disgusting. Not wanting someone else’s faecal matter on you or the rest of the house is hardly being phobic. It’s having basic common sense.”
“As a grown a** adult, he really should know better and shut his mouth when he’s responding like a petulant child to your concerns.”
“NTA. I’d love to know who your husband is to ensure I never have him as my doctor.” — Molatov_Bubblebath
Many focused on the irony, given his profession.
“He’s a DOCTOR?? Holy mother. My heart goes out to all his patients…..” — GlutenFree_sister
“NTA. How tf he a doctor if he can’t even understand basic hygiene?!” — loosyusy
“NTA. He’s a doctor who isn’t washing his hands after using the bathroom? His excuse doesn’t even make sense.”
“It’s not as though he was outside walking the dog and then took the garbage can to the curb, he’s in the house and has to touch things to get the dog ready for a walk. And doctors who aren’t surgeons still have to wash their hands about 10 times an hour.”
“Where is your husband a doctor because I wouldn’t want to go where he practices.” — pnutbuttercups56
And alongside the synonymous support OP received from Redditors, an update to her original post outlined how her husband responded too.
“He came home for lunch and we talked.”
“He admitted that my request was reasonable and said ‘of course I think you should wash your hands’ and that it was just about the dog thing, and he didn’t think it was that big of a deal for such a short time when he was about to touch the dog’s nasty frisbee anyway…”
“…and–as he said–‘the kitchen sink is probably just as dirty.’ Which is true. But in my opinion, beside the point.”
But then OP’s husband made some promises.
“He was very firm that he thinks washing hands after pooping is important, so that was a relief, and I do feel more like this must be a one-off or a rare thing.”
“He agreed that he won’t do this in the future, even if he just plans to go out with the dog–he said he hadn’t really thought about the doorknob, but now he understands better why I was so disgusted, especially given my phobia.”
“He really hammered home that he agrees with me on washing hands, he just took issue with the tone of my initial reaction to it.”
“Which…frankly, I don’t know that I could have done differently, I had such a visceral phobic response, but he’s allowed to feel how he feels just as I am.”
There you have it. There’s now one more house out there adhering to basic health and safety standards.