Adhering to a strict diet isn’t easy.
Humans want what they want when they’re hungry.
As people get older, they’ll only have so many chances to enjoy certain things.
So is it on the rest of the world to police the diet of others?
Sometimes, everybody just wants a treat.
Redditor More_Brilliant240 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for taking my grandma to eat lobster?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My (19) maternal grandma (79) has been living with us since my grandpa passed away two years ago.”
“She said their house reminded her too much of him.”
“Last year, she got a health check-up at the hospital.”
“The doctor warned her that her L[ow]-D[ensity] L[ipoprotein] level has gotten high and that she has to start watching what she eats.”
“Didn’t prescribe medicines though.”
“She has made changes.”
“She replaced potato chips with fruits like kiwi.”
“She no longer eats junk food.”
“Her diet now consists mainly of fish and vegetables.”
“Yesterday she asked if I could drive her to a restaurant to have lobster since I recently got my driver’s license while she decided not to renew hers.”
“She said she knows she won’t pass the reflex test and doesn’t want to embarrass herself.”
“I hesitated, and she said that just one meal wouldn’t hurt after her new diet and that she was going in for a checkup at the end of this month anyway.”
“So I took her there.”
“But my mom was upset when she found out and said that ‘It always starts with just one meal’ and I ‘Should spend more time thinking before doing something.’”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Your grandmother is 79 and an adult.”
“As long as she’s of sound mind, it’s not your place to police her diet.”
“She’s not doing this every day, and her problem is so borderline that they haven’t even put her on meds.”
“What else is there to live for if you can’t even have a nice cheat meal every once in a while?”
“NTA.” ~ Intrepid_Parsley_655
“My grandmother lived to 103.”
“In her last year of life, I was lucky enough to live close by.”
“Once a week, I took her for a bacon cheeseburger and a Dr. Pepper.”
“It was the highlight of her week.”
“My aunt would get so mad.”
“You’ll kill her eating that!”
“Death at 103 by bacon cheeseburger sounds like a good way to die.”
“You’re NTA.”
“It’s one meal, she’s an adult.”
“I’m sure she enjoyed her time with her grandchild.” ~ pink-Bee9394
“NTA. She’s 79.”
“If she wants lobster, take her for lobster.” ~ 7625607
“The woman is 79 years old.”
“A full-grown adult. If she wants to eat lobster with you, take her.”
“Far too soon, you’ll only have pictures and memories.”
“I can’t stand when people treat elderly people like they’re infants.”
“She’s a woman with her own wants and needs in life.” ~ Charity83
“The infantilization of old people drives me nuts.”
“Like, respect their dignity.”
“After 79 years, she’s capable of making decisions for herself.”
“The only exception to this rule is people with dementia and even then I think they should be able to make basic decisions like what to eat.”
“On kind of a funny note: My sister treated our grandmother like she was an innocent child.”
“One day, Grandma was asking about sister’s boyfriend and sister was hedging (because they lived together and she didn’t want to admit this), so I said, ‘They’re living in sin, Grandma.’”
“My sister glared at me and then I just asked, ‘You ever done the math on when [our oldest uncle] was born? He was perfectly healthy and four months premature.’”
“Sister turned to Grandma in shock, and she just shrugged LMFAO.”
“Sister started to treat Grandma like, I don’t know, a real person after that.” ~ Grouchy_Snail
“NTA. Doctor here.”
“Let your 79-year-old granny eat whatever the f**k she wants.”
“There is a point where pleasure takes precedence over remote health benefits.”
“The likelihood of benefit from a strict diet at that age is minimal.”
“And a lobster meal at age 79 is DEFINITELY on the pleasure side.” ~ TiredofCOVIDIOTs
NTA (also not a doctor) but I’ve said since my grandpa was 80 to just let him be. It’s been a long road through many years. Let them eat!! Do you know what crap food existed 50 years ago or 70 years ago. I mean unless you were rich food was bland and overcooked.
“Lobster is what every 79-year-old should be eating.” ~ threebecomeone
“My mom is 78.”
“She is on this kick that microplastics are going to kill her. “
“I’m like woman, you’re almost 80.”
“I promise drinking out of a plastic water bottle is the least of what’s going to kill you.”
“Now if I could only get her to drink more water…” ~ Relevant_Struggle
“I’ll be damned if someone tells me I can’t have chips and ice cream at 79 damn years old.”
“And she’s already doing that!”
“You aren’t in charge of your grandma and your mom, while she may be getting worried about the passage of time in regards to her own mom, what’s the point if the final years/decades are miseries trapped at home with no lobster ever? NTA.” ~ KetoLurkerHereAgain
“NTA. You’re not your grandmother’s prison warden.”
“She has a right to choose what she wants to eat.”
“All you did was drive her where she asked you to.” ~ ScarletNotThatOne
“NTA. Your grandmother has every right to decide for herself what she will eat!”
“She’s about as grown up as a grown-up gets.”
“Some people prefer to indulge in life’s pleasures and maximize the enjoyment they get out of life, rather than maximizing their time.” ~ Low_Temperature9593
“NTA. I get your mom’s fear: She lost her father, and she fears losing her mother.”
“But, your grandmother is a grown adult.”
“At 79, she’s had a long life.”
“She -chose- to eat healthier because she did want to continue living well.”
“Trust me, there are OODLES of older people who ignore their doctor.”
“My father was one of them.”
“But she can also -choose- to eat less healthy.”
“A lobster drowning in butter is unlikely to be her death.”
“And if it was? Well, a good last meal.” ~ Available-Love7940
“NTA. Grandma’s an adult.”
“She can make her own decisions.”
“Mom needs to chill.”
“She sounds controlling.” ~ CalamityClambake
“NTA. One meal of lobster isn’t going to send her to the hospital.” ~ Embarrassed_Loss_584
“NTA. Hell, if she wanted a cheeseburger, a whole cheesecake, a cocktail, and a cigar it’s her prerogative.”
“Enjoy your time with her while she can enjoy it.” ~ CleverRedditUsrNme
“NTA. It’s like the reverse of when Grandmas and Grandpas let you have ice cream for dinner ;).”
“Since it will take her some effort to acquire future lobster and other bad foods, I think there’s a difference between that and leaving her a credit card and your door-fast password.”
“Also, if she was able to make those changes, I am optimistic about her self-control.” ~ cocobear13
“NTA. She’s old enough to know what she wants, I think.”
“If she wants lobster, give her lobster with butter, salt, and a lot of bread!”
“I never understood monitoring anyone’s diet for them, unless they asked.”
“I’m diabetic, but none of my friends ask me why I’m having dessert or whatever.”
“They know I understand my circumstances to make up for it or make appropriate adjustments to my insulin.”
“Tell g-ma to enjoy her lobster and have a glass of wine if she wants it!” ~ No-Broccoli-5932
“If I make it to 79 and want lobster, someone better get me a lobster!”
“I’ve made it to 60 with cholesterol and triglycerides being okay.”
“By the time my parents were my age my dad had type 2 diabetes and very high trig, my mom was on statins for her cholesterol.”
“I do not DENY myself anything — I just eat mostly healthy and occasionally splurge.”
“Oops – NTA and good for your grandmother.” ~ Punkinsmom
“NTA. Your Grandma is old enough to decide what she eats.”
“She’s allowed to have a ‘cheat meal’ here and there.”
“Lobster is good, like mentioned earlier, it’s the butter.”
“But, given she’s not on meds, I’m willing to bet that won’t hurt her either, especially if she’s eating healthy otherwise.” ~ HwlngMdMurdoch
“It gets to a point where the quality of years is far more important than the quantity of years.”
“She’s almost 80.”
“She’s doing what she needs to to be healthier.”
“But what’s the point if she’s not enjoying her life? NTA.” ~ CAAugirl
“NTA – your grandma is an adult, she can make her own choices even if they’re bad for her or your mother disagrees with her.”
“Besides, whilst sauces/butter and sides etc aren’t that great for the ol’ health, lobster itself is a pretty low-fat food.”
“Besides which if she’s not on meds then her cholesterol and blood pressure are probably not dangerously high even if they’re getting towards the point where they need to be managed.” ~ redcore4
“NTA. While lobster as compared to other fish is higher in cholesterol they are still not something to be completely avoided especially since most people have it occasionally as a treat like your grandmother.”
“What you eat every day – fried foods – foods that are high in fat – not eating sufficient produce and whole grains – eating ice cream and processed foods is what one needs to avoid or eat rarely in a healthy diet.” ~ laurazhobson
“NTA. Your GRANDMA is a grown-a** woman.”
“If she wants lobster, she should get lobster.” ~ szy91
“NTA. It was one meal that she wanted and that you shared with her.”
“Hold onto it.”
“These days won’t last forever.”
“You did something wonderful, gifting her (and you) with time together and something she enjoyed.” ~ MerelyWhelmed1
Reddit is with you, OP.
Grandma is an adult.
She’s not eating lobster every day.
It’s understandable that Mom is worried, but she needn’t take it out on you.
Grandma would’ve found lobster one way or another.