Favors are a kind thing to do for others.
We should all have no issue doing a favor for another person.
But there are limits.
Sometimes the favor is just too much.
Whether it’s friends or family, a line has to be drawn now and again.
Case in point…
Redditor SnowNo3724 wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for telling my dad that I’m not a babysitter and if he wants me to babysit, he’ll have to pay?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m now male 22 and I have a good relationship with my dad (43).”
“When I was 16 my dad was caught cheating, my mom kicked him out and got his mistress pregnant.”
“Mistress was so much younger than him and left him with the kids (5M twins, she is still in the picture but acts more like a distant relative).”
“He’s been a single dad ever since.”
“My mom and dad have reconciled and improved their relationship for my sake.”
“My mom even helped him watch the babies a couple of times.”
“I love them and I’ve never considered them to be my half-siblings but my siblings.”
“I’ve watched them a couple of times too (for a couple of hours).”
“After the divorce he dated a couple of people but nothing serious until he met Dan (40 Male) 2.5 years ago.”
“No surprises here, my dad was openly bi, and even dated men before meeting my mom.”
“They got married this past May, it was a nice wedding, mom was there, I was there, the twins, family.”
“My dad is a great dad to me and the twins.”
“I have no complaints about him.”
“He has never left us behind but I think he is in a part of his life that he wants and needs time for himself.”
“They couldn’t have their honeymoon immediately and they are planning to have it in a couple of weeks.”
“Dan wanted to take the boys with them but my dad convinced him not to.”
“He argued that they’ll have their whole lives to see the boys and they needed this time for themselves. (Dan agreed).”
“They asked my mom to watch the boys.”
“They call her mom; they know she isn’t their mom, but my mom refused because it’s going to be 3 weeks long and I get why my mom doesn’t want to be that responsible for the kids.”
“She usually watches them for a couple of hours.”
“Then my dad asked me but I told him that I’m not a babysitter and if he wants me to be one, he’ll have to pay.”
“He got mad at me and said that they are my siblings and this is just a hand he needs.”
“Here is the thing, the boys are messy (like any other kid I know) but they are also a little shy/bratty.”
“So when another person watches them, they scream, cry, tantrums, etc.”
“That’s why my dad can’t hire another nanny.”
“Whether it’s me or my mom, though my mom refused.”
“So either I take care of them (I’m on a break from college) or my dad takes them.”
“AITA for expecting my dad to pay?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT be the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA- 3 weeks of 5 year old twins is too long for a favor.”
“A weekend, maybe.”
“But your dad is expecting you to drop everything and be on duty as a parent for 21 days!”
“It may be summer break, but you’ve still got stuff to do.”
“Things you can’t do when taking care of 5 year olds.”
“He should either cut his honeymoon way down or pay you without complaining.”
“And he should also pay for them to go to day camp during the week so you have at least 6 hours off each day.” ~ kknits
“NTA. 3 weeks is a long time for childcare.”
“If we were talking about a 3 day weekend, it would be different.”
“Maybe between you and your mom you could have managed without burning yourselves out.” ~ IllustriouskToe
“NTA they need to go for one week, pay you for that.”
“And then fly you and the twins to meet them and do 2 weeks of family vacation on their dime.” ~ ElectricalgTowel
“He should pay a qualified nanny to be there with the boys.”
“A childcare professional won’t be phased by tantrums or tears or attention seeking.”
“They will know first aid and early years info so be able to occupy the twins with activities and keep them on a schedule and know what to do in a crisis.”
“If he can afford a three week honeymoon, he can afford a professional to look after his kids.”
“If he can’t afford a professional or refuses to then he needs to bring the boys with him.”
“His kids, his responsibility.”
“Two five year olds for three weeks is far too much, even for a loving family member to take on.” ~ Lulubelle__007
“Since supposedly everybody is an adult in this story, it’s super bizarre to me that he would think that someone will stop everything they’re doing and watch his kids for three straight weeks.”
“Surely he raised OP to some degree…?”
“He must know that children aren’t just Magically Cared For.”
“Or maybe he doesn’t and OP is looking at his father’s involvement in his upbringing in the best light/rose coloured glasses.”
“OP, this ask is truly unreasonable.”
“And super weird that he’d be planning it without planning the childcare aspect first.”
“Don’t back down on this.” ~ FishforMe
“A 3 week honeymoon when you’ve got young kids seems excessive?”
“The twins are too young for a 3 week disappearance from their primary attachment figure.”
“Sorry I know that’s not what you’re asking… I think it’s really commendable how forgiving and loving you’ve been.”
“Many wouldn’t have been able to do what you and your mum have been doing with your dad and the twins.”
“Of course you’re NTA but I think the honeymoon itself needs rethinking from your dad.” ~ mkaybabesyoudoyou
“NTA – but I’m sorry I literally cannot focus on anything else in the story but the fact your mom is f**king Wonder Woman.”
“She’s got a soul made of gold.”
“Insha’Allah may Allah grant your mom the best spot in heaven for her mercy.”
“Because lord knows I wouldn’t have been able to do what your mom did.” ~ Murky_Captain_8192
“NTA. Not your circus, not your monkeys.”
“And, to be quite blunt, a 3-week honeymoon with young kids is obscenely self-centered, inappropriate, and f**king ABSURD.”
“I don’t begrudge someone with young kids going on a long weekend.”
“Heck, you could even convince me that a week is reasonable. But 3 weeks?”
“That’s just patently ridiculous and your dad should be embarrassed he even asked you to do it.”
“Pay has zero to do with this.” ~ throwmeawaypoopy
“Why would he expect you to parent his children for 3 weeks without pay?”
“That’s so odd to me.”
“I don’t care if they are your siblings.”
“My mom pays me to watch my parent’s dog for a week if they go out of town.”
“And she is the easiest pup in the world.”
“3 weeks with 5 year old twins as a favor? Is he serious?”
“Also, I get that it’s his honeymoon or whatever, but what business does he have taking a 3 week honeymoon when he has young children with an absentee baby mama?”
“Major respect to you for maintaining a good relationship with him after he broke up your home and had children outside of his marriage.”
“I would love to say that would be me, but I’m no liar.”
“I’m 30, and my petty would be on 100 if my dad hurt my mom like that. “
“Even bigger props to your mom for watching them ever as a favor to him after the fact.”
“The b*lls he’s rockin’ must be massive to ask her to watch them for 3 weeks before he even asked you.”
“Whew that is wild.” ~ EnvironmentalGene755
“NTA. 3 weeks looking after twin children is a full time job!”
“Then there’s food, fuel, electricity, and other resources to consider.”
“You didn’t say ‘No’ out of hand (though you’d be justified if you did).”
“You set a condition and your Dad isn’t willing to meet it.”
“Which is totally reasonable on your part.” ~throwawayboopjoop
“NTA. You aren’t responsible for his kids because he wants to have a long honeymoon.”
“He has a responsibility for two mini humans that needs to come before things like that.”
“It sucks, but that’s how the cookie crumbles.” ~ vellichorical
“NTA. The bottom line is that they are his kids and his responsibility.”
“He should have made arrangements BEFORE booking a trip.”
“And he should also know that even expecting someone to watch 2 five year olds with temper problems for three full weeks wasn’t going to happen.”
“Which is probably why he waited until the last minute hoping that you or your mom would feel pressured into doing it.”
“I wouldn’t even do it for money.” ~ ProfPlumDidIt
You had the kids.
They are your problem.
That is just life and Reddit agrees.
OP is here for you.
Stay strong.