If there's one thing all parents can relate to, it's the difficulty in finding reliable, affordable child care.
As people are understandably particular about who they feel comfortable leaving their children in the care of.
This is why those who live in close proximity to their parents, their child's grandparents, often rely on them to babysit when they're in a pinch.
Sadly, however, not everyone can be so reliant.
Redditor Crybbyfromdablock recently had to make her first big trip after giving birth, leaving her baby under the care of her parents as well as her in-laws.
While her baby remained safe and healthy under her watch, the original poster (OP) was less than thrilled to learn of an admission made by her mother-in-law (MIL).
Leading her to seriously consider whether she ever wanted to leave her baby under her care ever again.
Concerned she may have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for not wanting MIL to babysit anymore?"
The OP explained why she wanted her MIL to be a last resort when it came to childcare:
"My husband (26 M[ale]) and I (28 F[emale]) went on a trip for a family member's birthday and decided to leave our baby (5-month-old) with my parents and in-laws."
"The trip was for 3 nights and 4 days."
"My parents took the baby 2 nights, and my in-laws took the baby one night."
"I recently found out that my MIL almost breastfed my baby."
"She claims she was tired and heard the baby crying in the middle of the night."
"She said she almost took her top off to feed the baby, but then 'realized' she can't nurse him."
"She's made comments like 'mama is here' when I'm in the room, and the baby is crying."
"Then quickly says 'sorry grandma's here'."
"She claims that she refers to herself as 'mama' with the dogs and says it out of habit."
"I found out about the breastfeeding comment from my mom when she picked up the baby from my in-laws."
"She said my FIL 'found nature and motherly instincts funny/crazy' and mentioned that my MIL almost breastfed my baby."
"I brought it up to my husband and said it was crazy and weird, but my husband defended it by saying she didn't actually do it, and if she had, it would have been weird."
"He said his mother did tell him about it, but didn't want to bring it up to me because she didn't feel it would have made me feel comfortable."
"Not really sure how to navigate this."
"I do not want them to babysit anymore but feel like husband will think I'm overreacting."
"Am I overreacting?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was, indeed, overreacting, and would be the a**hole if she forbade her MIL from ever babysitting again.
Just about everyone felt the OP was jumping to negative conclusions, and that her MIL's behavior did not warrant a permanent ban on babysitting:
"YTA."
"She was half asleep in the middle of the night, and her body remembered those nights from when her kids were little, so she, on autopilot, went to do something before realizing it was wrong."
"I think it's funny more than anything, not weird."
"If she'd actually tried to do it to soothe the baby, then that would be weird."
"It's honestly weirder to me that you're leaving a 5-month-old with its grandparents for 4 whole days than it is that having a young baby overnight reminded her of her breastfeeding days."- now_you_see
"Personally, I don't see the problem with one errant comment about a middle-of-the-night moment of sleepiness."
"YTA if you stopped her babysitting because of this, or sometimes referring to herself as 'Mama'."
"You're the baby's mother, no one is going to take that away from you, so it would be good to save your angst for more pressing concerns as they arise."- Travelgrrl
"YTA."
"She didn't 'almost' breastfeed your baby."
"She got woken up in the middle of the night by a baby crying, and it made her think of when her children were babies, and she breastfed."
"Her saying she almost took her shirt off was a figure of speech; she didn't ACTUALLY almost take her shirt off."
"You are overreacting."- 1RainbowUnicorn
"YTA."
"Stop being such a drama queen about the groggy maternal instincts of someone who is a mother."-Accomplished-Sky3949
"Maybe if you are so concerned for your 5-month-old baby, you should be heading off for 3 nights so you can go off and party."
"Your MIL did you a favour, and now you are complaining because she almost possibly did something that wasn't going to hurt the baby anyway."
"Also, she sometimes refers to herself as mama, but does correct herself."
"YTA."- lord_buff74
"YTA."
"Majorly."- Hopeful-Material4123
"YTA it's not that deep, she woke up and her instinct was from her motherhood days, very normal."
"Very kind of her to mind such a young baby overnight, which is very hard to do."-Annabelle_Sugarsweet
"YTA."
"It was autopilot and a mildly funny anecdote."
"You're the f*ckin weird one for leaving your 4-month-old for a few days for a trip?"
"Like wtf!!"- hollowsbest
"YTA."
"For leaving an infant for 4 whole days to attend a party."- trekmadonetwo
"YTA."
"For seizing on such a petty thing to deny your MIL access to the baby."
"She didn't 'almost breastfeed' your baby, given that she's not even producing milk!"
"Reads to me like you're looking for reasons."
"Give her a break."- WestCovina1234
"YTA."
"Yes you are overreacting."
"Nothing actually happened here."- Pale_Height_1251
"YTA."
"She didn't do anything, and you're being weirdly aggressive to her, calling her mama to your baby who won't even remember any of this."
"Just be happy they want to help watch the baby and forgive these perceived slights."- Just_Bz77
"YTA."
"You left your baby for 4 days and are mad at your MIL?"
"She's fine."
"Being tired brings back old reflexes."
"Maybe don't leave your baby to go off and party?"
"I have 3 kids and have never left them longer than a night with a relative."
"You have a lot of growing up to do."- JewelerAggravating96
"YTA."
"Yeah kind of an overreaction imo."- Popular-Candle3249
"She said it while barely awake."
"I think you are putting too much into the comment."
"I can't tell you how many times I've called my husband my son's name and vice versa."
"It happens when you get older."
"Taking away babysitting seems like a massive overreaction."
"YTA."- Turbulent_Cow2355
"I think YTA."
"She didn't 'almost' breastfeed, she said she 'almost' took her top off which I assume she said in a joking manner?"
"Like ok yeah the thought of anyone's MIL nursing their child is weird."
"Sure."
"But that's all it was, just thoughts."
"I'm a mom and currently bf, and I could hear a baby crying in the street and have a let down lmao, it's just instinctual/muscle memory."
"You could look at it as 'wow my MIL has strong maternal instincts when it comes to looking after a child, that's awesome', but again I feel like it was a harmless/joking comment and to not read into it."
"Maybe I'm TA here, but 5 months is very young for a baby to be away from their mom for 4 days."
"I think you're very lucky you have the kind of village who'd help out with a baby who is at an age where they have unpredictable schedules and are going through so many developmental milestones."- Ok-Pomegranate-3298
"YTA."
"I can understand being sensitive about your own children, I know I will be, but it sounds like she was saying how tired she was and that she had an automatic response from when her kids were little."
"Older people struggle with sleep a lot, so being woken in the night probably affected her cognition for a few seconds."
"She didn't almost breastfeed your baby."
"She made an ill-judged comment to try to describe a moment that was confusing for her."
"Did your baby come home safe?"
"Were you able to enjoy a few days away?"
"Why would you prevent her from babysitting over a couple of harmless comments?"- Regular-Message9591
"YTA."
"Have some grace and be thankful."- proflem
"I've got a 4-month-old baby, and I think you're overreacting, so YTA."
"Both sets of our baby's grandparents live on the other side of the world, and I'd be so grateful and happy if our son could have a relationship with them, let alone for me and hubby to get to go away on a multi-night trip."
"I get where you're coming from, but I don't think you need to stress or worry about this."
"Focus on the positives."- hugmytreezhang
It's understandable that the OP might have been alarmed by her MIL's confession, especially if she heard it through the grapevine rather than directly from her.
That said, if this was a one-time occurrence due to sleepiness and confusion, a permanent ban on babysitting seems a bit excessive.
If anything, her semi-impulsive reaction showed just how naturally motherhood came to her.
Possibly even making her a role model for the OP.
