Everyone has things which other people do that get under their skin.
This can be especially true amongst spouses.
This can range from the way one spouse neglects to pick up after themselves or leaves dishes in the sink, or even the way they cough or clear their throat.
The wife of Redditor gghikmnggjj would frequently get under her husbands skin when the two of them went out to restaurants.
While he thought he came up with a solution which should have pleased the both of them, his wife strongly thought otherwise, and wasn’t afraid to say so.
Having second thoughts about his decision, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for splitting my food into 2 plates.”
The OP revealed that his wife’s new habit came after the two of them hit a major milestone in their marriage.
“I and my wife have been married for 4 years.”
“She’s 26 weeks pregnant now.”
“Recently, she’s started to pick food off my plate whenever we go out to eat.”
“The thing is I really don’t mind sharing food with others I just don’t like it when someone puts their hand/fork/spoon into my plate.”
“I feel like I’m in a competition and I’ve to eat fast or I’ll not get to eat enough food.”
“I’ve explained my feelings to her but she says it’s not a big deal and that spouses should always share food with each other.”
When he found his frustrations beginning to rise at a subsequent trip to a restaurant, the OP came up with a solution, one his wife did not appreciate one bit.
“Today, we had gone out to dinner.”
“While ordering, I asked her if she wants me to order the same for her but she said no.”
“She ordered a different thing for herself.”
“When the Food arrived, she took a bite of my food to see how it tastes.”
“She said it’s really good and started eating off my plate.”
“I offered to let her eat my food and that I’d take her plate of food but she said no and that she wanted just a bit of my food.”
“She didn’t eat a lot of my food to be honest, but as I was eating, she kept picking food off my plate.”
“At one point I got frustrated and asked the waiter for an empty plate.”
“I took half of my food from my plate and put it on that extra plate and handed the plate to her so that she stops picking food from my plate.”
“She got extremely angry and walked out of the restaurant.”
“When we got home, she said that I made her feel like a glutton by giving her a separate plate.”
“She’s not talking to me now.”
“I had gotten chicken fried rice and she was picking out just the chicken and leaving the rice for me.”
“That was part of the reason why I got annoyed.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP had every right to be annoyed by his wife picking food off his plate, and decided he was not the a**hole.
Just about everyone felt that the OP made it clear to his wife that her picking at his food annoyed him, and she should have respected that, pregnant or not.
“You set your boundaries, and those boundaries did not include ‘not sharing’.”
“Stick to your guns on this.”
“I know she’s pregnant but that doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat.”
“It seems like you communicated well enough, so keep up the good communication, but don’t apologize for anything and keep enforcing your VERY REASONABLE boundaries.”-FreeMySpeech.
“‘If its not a big deal why can’t you stop doing it when you know it bothers me this much?'”-Dye_Harder.
“I am pregnant and still have control over my manners.”
“I will ask my bf for a bite if I think something looks good but I ask and if you have made it clear you don’t like it then she needs to be respectful.”- AcceptableCup6008.
“She doesn’t get to dictate how you need to feel about something NTA.”- FaizerLaser.
“Nobody, spouse or not, should be eating off your plate without your permission.”
“NTA that is rude AF to me.”
“Me and my husband don’t mind offering each other taste, but to keep eating the food I chose would infuriate me.”
“I ordered what I got bc I’m hungry.”
“You offered her solutions and she’s being a bit of a brat about it.”- Amethyst-talon91.
“It sounds like you’ve tried to explain to her why it bothers you and you are still willing to share.”-Similar_Pineapple418.
“If you ask her not to take food off your plate, she should respect that.”
“Let her know that it drives you crazy and that she can ask you for a bite if she wants to try it, but it’s still YOUR meal.”
“I can’t imagine how annoying that is.”
“I have never had someone start digging into my plate.”
“My worst food experience is men who fart while I’m eating.”-Embarrassed-Data2957.
“Pregnant or not, picking off of someone’s plate is rude.”
“A fetus doesn’t give you an automatic pass on manners nor bulldozing someone’s feelings.”-bunnyhopskip.
“I cannot even imagine taking more than one bite from someone’s plate let alone picking out the good stuff.”
“My ex and I used to try each other’s food and if he really enjoyed my food I would put some on his plate and he’d replenish my plate with some of his and vice versa.”
“You could maybe offer a trade of a small portion and see if that keeps her off your plate.”
“If it doesn’t.. I hope it’s the pregnancy.”-briefly_obsessed.
“This is coming from someone who had back-to-back pregnancies with food cravings that made me want to murder everyone in my line of sight.”
“You set your boundaries, you sounded like you were very understanding of her feelings while enforcing them.”
“I would hope that, giving her the benefit of the doubt, she was just pregnancy hangry and she’ll come back and apologize later.”
“But from what you’ve written here, it sounds like you handled it really well.”-lady_forsythe.
“Not that you need any better reason than ‘i don’t want you to do that so please stop’, but you’ve explained your very valid boundaries and found a way to indulge her (frankly selfish and childish) behavior in a way that doesn’t compromise your feelings.”
“What she’s doing (picking at your food and having a tantrum when told that enough is enough) is something we are working on stopping our 2 year old from doing ffs!”- PastSupport.
“That is an extremely annoying habit, and a violation of basic courtesy.”
“It’s fine if you invite someone to try your food, but to just eat off someone else’s plate is rude.”
“Doesn’t matter if you are married.”
“There is still a boundary, and a need to remain polite.”- Windermyr.
“NTA, you told her you didn’t like when she did that and she blatantly ignored your feelings on the matter because she likes doing it.”
“Maybe embarrassing her will get the point across.”-Unit-00.
“NTA, you had valid boundaries, and a solution to her problem with said boundaries.”
“I know several couples who share food with one extra plate, your wife is being unreasonable, pregnant or not.”- SmartPlant7.
“NTA, She’s being disrespectful.”-FromTheBack6996.
“Pregnancy is rough with cravings, but she should back off if you say no to sharing.”
“I’m guessing she feels ashamed about her increased appetite.”
“I share with my SO, but only if they don’t have a problem with it, and I certainly don’t pick off the best parts—that’s just rude.”- gollumwasrobbed.
“I can’t stand people who trample all over boundaries, especially when it comes to food.”
“She’s mad and embarrassed because she thought she could do whatever she wanted, but you kept your boundary firm.”
“To be fair, she’s also pregnant.”
“But that isn’t an excuse to repeatedly not hear her own spouse communicating a very reasonable request.”-pennywhistlesmoonpie.
A handful of Redditors were reminded of a fairly iconic episode of the sitcom Friends.
“The correct answer is ‘JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD’.”-MoonpawX.
“I take the same approach as Joey from ‘Friends’.”
“You can eat as much food as you want; I will not judge you.”
“Just don’t eat MY food.”
“Hell, if you want to order extra because it all looks good, go for it.”
“If you can’t finish it, then I’ll gladly eat it.”
“My friends and family call me the ‘Garbage Disposal’ because I will eat all the leftovers if nobody wants to take them home.”
It would be one thing if the OP blatantly refused to let his pregnant wife have a bite of his food.
But it is somewhat surprising how offended she was by the extra plate, when all he was trying to do was share.
Hopefully a minor blip on their journey to parenthood.