Doctors need people to be upfront about their symptoms. Otherwise they’re just guessing your diagnostic.
Redditor easy432 encountered this very issue with her husband. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
She asked:
AITA for telling the doctor my husband was lying?
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My husband is someone who doesn’t understand the concept of rest and is constantly working/doing things.”
“He was in an accident and the doctor told him that he needed plenty of rest to help speed up his recovery and that he should take some time off work.”
“Well, my husband hasn’t listened to the advice he was given.”
“He still sleeps less than 6 hours a night, is constantly working like before and is doing exercise his body can’t handle. The only thing he hasn’t done is try to go on a business trip but I know he will soon.”
“I’ve tried getting him to stop or to at least slow down but he won’t.”
“A few days ago, he had a follow up appointment and he just sat there lying the entire time.”
“I got frustrated and told the doctor he was lying and that he wasn’t sleeping more, that he was still working stupid hours like before and that he was hurting himself trying to keep up with his regular exercise routine.”
“Now my husband is mad at me and told me I had no right to tell the doctor anything.”
“AITA?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. Your husband’s doctor can’t treat him properly without true and correct information. Your husband is putting himself at risk and wasting his doctor’s time.” ~ joanclaytonesq
“This whole post is a big part of the reason married men live longer.” ~ neobeguine
“My dad was doing a lot of overtime and he was stressed and exhausted. My mom told him to slow down one Friday. “What are they gonna do if you have a heart attack?” (history of heart disease in his family, but nothing diagnosed for him that far)”
“Over the weekend he wasn’t feeling well, ended up going to the walk-in clinic on Monday morning because my mom insisted. He called her asking that she come get the car at the clinic because they were transferring him to the nearest hospital. Because he had had a heart attack over the weekend.”
“One of his arteries was almost completely blocked, and he had a valve defect. He was 51.”
“Ended up needing open-heart surgery. It’s been 20 years. He has downplayed physical issues several other times since, but I think he’s finally learning to listen to her.” ~ Waury
“I came home from work one night and noticed my husband was swaying and slurring his words. He hadn’t been drinking. I dragged his ass to the ER, and oh, surprise–he’d had a mild stroke.”
“Why? He hadn’t bothered with his blood pressure meds. He told me that he hadn’t been feeling well the day before, or earlier that day, *but had driven himself to and from work both days.* (I still can’t even about that, and it’s been over 5 years.) I still maintain that if he wants to kick it, I’m fine with becoming a widow. I’ll just chuck him out back for the wildlife to eat.”
“OP, you are NTA. If you’re there and he’s not telling the truth, you tell on his ass.” ~ bookfaerie23
“NTA If there’s one person you should always be honest with, it’s your doctor, whose sole purpose is to help you maintain your health. If you’re lying to him/her, what the hell is the point in asking them to treat you? It’s true, your husband is an adult, and you can’t control his actions, but he is behaving like a child, so again… NTA.” ~ owenamador
Many wives had a similar experience.
“I’m a doctor and the things husbands forget or down play and wives tells are huge like medications, complains, duration of symptoms, etc are huge and very useful.” ~ pioroa
“My dad had a second brain bleed in 2017 and it was only discovered because he’d casually mentioned to his GP on one of his regular visits that he’d had a strong headache for a few days.”
“She knew his history and sent him for a ct scan, the bleed was discovered and he was immediately sent to hospital. Mum and the rest of the family were furious with him for not saying anything because we would probably have sent him to the doctor sooner had we known, had he not said anything when he did he very likely could have been dead the next day.” ~ Charming-Treacle
“I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3.5 months and I already got him signed up for surgery to correct a long term health problem. He told me clearly it was important to me so he prioritized it.” ~ Zukazuk
“Not to mention if the doctor thinks he’s resting and not getting better he’s going to be looking at more invasive recommendations for him.”
“Doctor needs to know his current level of healing is not the result of ideal recovery conditions so he can adjust recommendations appropriately.” ~ OrindaSarnia
“This. My dad lied to his doctor about his alcohol consumption prior to surgery. The 30 minute surgery ended up taking 5 hours, and my dad came out different. It was either an issue with the anesthetic mixing poorly with the alcohol in his blood, or the doctor nicked his brain (it was some surgery in/around his nose).” ~ raven_of_azarath
“Before dementia, my MIL would basically say nothing other than “I’m fine” to her doctor. She straight up expected him to figure out her problems from a visual inspection without any input from her. How long have i had this raging swollen rash on my arm? A few days. How often do I check my blood sugar? Enough. (Truth was she hadn’t tested in like 2 years.) With dementia she talks to him more, but zero info is correct . Her thinking tended toward the magical even before the dementia so I’m not surprised she expected the doc to figure out her health as if by magic.” ~ Songbirdmelody
Don’t lie to your doctors.