We all need validation every now and again.
More often than not, the person we need validation from most is ourselves.
With that in mind, we feel compelled to share recent accomplishments with our nearest and dearest.
Usually, our inner circle continues this validation and further congratulates us.
Other times, however, we don't get the support we expected from our friends.
Redditor OACRattler recently hit a very important milestone in their life.
Understandably, the original poster (OP) felt compelled to share this significant turning point with their friends.
Unfortunately, the OP didn't entirely get the reaction they were hoping to get, with one friend even going so far as to accuse the OP of being "insensitive".
Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for sharing my progress about weight loss?"
The OP explained why they were chided by a friend for their lack of sensitivity:
"About two and a half months ago I got a personal trainer and started working towards losing weight."
"I started at 370 lbs or higher, don't fully know."
"Now I'm already down to 330."
"Im very happy with the progress I've made so far."
"Last night I was at a friend's place, hanging out with 4 friends."
"In passing, I mentioned how much I've lost, I didn't make an announcement-type thing, just in passing: 'Hey, I've managed to lose 40 lbs, and I'm really happy about it"
"This morning one of the friends texted me and said, 'I need to be more sensitive about talking about weight loss'."
Went on to say it's physically impossible to lose that much in 2.5 months and I will make others feel terrible about themselves if they are trying to lose weight too.
"I don't think it's an a**hole thing to share a milestone in my life, what do you think."
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
The Reddit community all but unanimously thought that the OP did nothing wrong by sharing their weight loss with their friends.
Everyone agreed that the OP did nothing wrong by sharing their accomplishment, and the friend who scolded them was likely jealous:
"NTA."
"You are perfectly fine being happy with your progress and sharing that with friends."
"This person is clearly jealous, and you should ignore them."
"Congratulations on your awesome progress!"- lariet50
"NTA."
"I think they are confused because that wouldn’t be safe for most people. Like if you’re 200 pounds that’s super unsafe."
'But you were 370 that’s a normal time frame for that amount of weight loss."
"Good job and ignore the haters."- inquisitivemind79
"NTA."
"Losing 40 pounds in three months is an amazing accomplishment, and you need friends who will celebrate that with you, not bring you down."- milee30
"NTA."
"Tell them if they don't have anything nice to say they can shut up."- Impressive_Moment786
"NTA."
"As someone working on weight loss, I've lost 11 pounds in just 22 days."
"I'm sure like me, you also know the majority of it is glycogen depletion and water weight drop and completely expected and healthy."
"Something that I'm focusing on right now, is observing the people reacting to my news and deciding if they're worth keeping in my life."
"I don't know about you, but even overweight and disappointed at myself, I supported my best friend's abs and body achievements."
"I would like similar people around me that don't expect others to manage their emotions."- Top-Noise5959
"NTA."
"Lost 100lbs years ago and never talk with one friend that, for some reason, took my effort and loss as me thinking I'm better or making fun of them some way."
"We were two fat dudes since high school and used to talk sh*t about being fat to each other daily."- bigboij
"I think it all depends."
"If it happens as you said that it's just in passing you said that then you're absolutely NTA."
"I often find that people who are on a strict diet/exercise regime spend bloody ages talking about it and it gets tiring fast."
"They often aren't even aware of it."
"In one of my friend groups, early this year one of the girls (tbf she is quite overweight) went on a diet and started working out at a new gym."
"We were all encouraging at first, but after a few weeks it was literally all she would talk about."
"We'd make dinner plans at someone's house, and she'd bring her own food because we were ordering pizza, and she'd be looking at the pizza and saying she wished she could eat it, but she'd already lost a stone and didn't want to ruin the powerlifting class efforts she'd made that day, and a slice of pizza would be x calories, and the dip x calories... really made everyone else self-conscious about what we were eating."
"Even worse, now she's given up the diet; she'll comment every time we eat about how unhealthy the food is and how she should go back on the diet, and if she is eating unhealthy food she'll try to get you to eat unhealthy food too so she feels less bad."
"Even if you don't want it."
"Drives me nuts!"
"Funniest thing was she distanced herself from one of the other girls after one dinner, and when I asked why, she said it was because all that girl talked about was her boyfriend (dieting friend is single)."
"And yet I don't remember said friend mentioning more than one or two things about her bf."
"All I remember from that dinner was how much my friend was going on about her gym and her diet and her weight."-EnjoysAGoodRead
"Congrats on your awesome progress!"
"NTA."- Every-End7495
"NTA."
"I was celebrating with my friend about losing 3 lbs in 5 days after *months* of being stuck in a plateau."
"She and I did a happy dance in her kitchen."
"Real friends celebrate your wins, no matter how big or small; they don't try to shame you for them."
"She doesn't sound like your friend, unfortunately."- ravnarieldurin
There were some, however, who understood where the OP's friends may have been coming from, noting it takes very little for people with weight or body image issues to feel triggered, even if they still agreed the OP did nothing wrong:
"NAH."
"I struggled for a long time with an eating disorder and I remember when my brother had been working out and dieting and losing weight, he started talking a lot about it."
"I was genuinely happy that he was getting in shape because he deserves everything in the world that makes him happy."
"I made sure to tell him that."
"But I did let him know (gently) that it was a little triggering, that it was my problem, not his, but that I wanted him to know."
"Mostly so that if I was having trouble articulating my enthusiasm, he would know why."
"He was incredibly grateful I let him know, because he cares about me."
"He hadn't thought about how talking about weight loss/dieting could affect other people, and he said it made him more conscientious about who he talked about this to."
"He works for a non-profit assisting mentally ill and homeless people, and it's important to him to be aware of these things."
"All this is to say, it wasn't insensitive for you to talk about your weight loss."
"Not at all. But if you know it's demoralizing or triggering to certain people, it's probably a good idea to avoid discussing it with those people."- indignantgirl
"NAH."
"That's incredible work! You should be proud, and I understand why you want your friends to celebrate with you."
"It sounds like maybe some of your friends are struggling with their own weight loss journey, though, and maybe you do need to be mindful of who you celebrate with or how they're feeling that particular day."
"My best friend struggles with obesity and weight loss, and although she will celebrate my fitness goals with me, I am mindful that some days she's not in a place to hear about it or celebrate with me because she's feeling particularly insecure or frustrated with her own progress."- VerbaAdAbyssum
The OP later returned with an update, thanking everyone who took the time to comment:
"I just want to thank everyone for how encouraging you've all been. I was really bummed when they texted me that, but this all helps more than I thought it would."
Sometimes, what might seem like a perfectly harmless, innocuous remark can be unexpectedly triggering for some people.
However, scolding them for saying something they had no idea caused offense likely won't be the solution.
In this situation, it wouldn't have been hard to support and congratulate the OP on their personal achievement.
Indeed, the OP's friends could even have looked to them for inspiration on their own journeys.
