We all have friends and family members that we kid around with.
However, there are only so many things the words "just kidding" can excuse.
It takes very little for a joke to go too far, and some things are harder for people to find funny than others.
Redditor TerribleTomatoTango had an aunt who loved to joke around with him.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP) never found his aunt's jokes very funny at all.
Finally fed up, the OP felt compelled to throw his aunt's humor back at her.
Interestingly, she didn't find the jokes very funny either.
Wondering if he went too far, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for telling my aunt she's gotten fatter?"
The OP explained why he resorted to making a very public remark about his aunt's weight:
"I'll try to keep this short."
"I really do like my aunt, but like my grandma and other relatives she always felt the need to comment my weight."
"'You've gained weight, maybe take it easy with the food today', 'you lost weight, you need to eat more' - you know how it goes."
"I've always felt uncomfortable because of those comments."
"But that was 30 years ago."
"I'm a grown man now. I'm in the best shape of my life, I've run marathons, I regularly go climbing indoors and outdoors, I lift and do strength training."
"I know how to eat healthy and take care of my body."
"And STILL when I invited my aunt over a few weeks back to my new home, the FIRST thing she said to me was how I lost weight and look scrawny and should eat more."
"She even grabbed my sides to check my ribs!"
"That really, really set me off!"
"In turn I grabbed her sides, squeezed her fat rolls and told her that she's gotten fatter."
"I tried to 'sell' it by being extra gentle and show her the irony, but I don't think that worked."
"BTW I'm 77kg on 1,78m; she's more like 110kg on 1,55cm."
"As you can imagine this somehow killed the mood."
"She didn't really talk to me for the rest of the evening, and my wife later told me that I was super insensitive and couldn't say stuff like that."
"Other relatives told me that as well."
"But then why is it okay when she did it my whole life!?!"
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was somewhat divided as to whether or not the OP was the a**hole for making a joke about his aunt's weight.
Everyone agreed that the OP's aunt seemed to deserve a taste of her own medicine, and might hopefully think more carefully about her jokes going forward:
"NTA."
"I was ready to call you an AH based on the title."
"But damn, she really stepped into it here."
"Touching your ribs is really odd, and also the hypocrisy, you're always too big or too small."
"Maybe you taught her a lesson here."- RhododendronWilliams
"NTA."
"And I don't think she's gonna be making those comments again."- Princessesierra
"NTA, in context."
"Folks of a certain generation are obsessed with commenting on others' weight gain/loss."
"It is extremely rude, especially coupled with the fact that she physically grabbed you."
"Next time you see her, have a calm talk to inform her to please not comment on your body."- RazVsLungfish
"NTA."
"Consequences of her actions."
"Btw. if thats true she is OBESE."- Csimpattana
"NTA."
"It’s always been so strange to me that in society it’s considered ok to comment on a man’s appearance/weight but as soon as you do it to a woman you’re an insensitive prick?"
"It’s always the older lady relatives too!"
"Ugh."
"Men’s mental health matters."
"I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this from your aunt for so long!"
"Maybe you didn’t go about it the right way but I would have snapped as well."- EasyAcanthisitta3082
"So she's spent 30 years policing your weight and crossing your physical boundaries while grabbing your or jabbing you in the sides?"
"NTA."
'I'm amazed at the restraint to not call her out 30 years ago, she's long-earned a comment back."
"In general it's a cruel thing to do, but someone making an effort to shake you for weight gain/loss for 3 decades has lost the benefit of the doubt."
"Maybe let your wife know how long it's been going on, and tell your relatives to stop being hypocrites."
"If they're fine with her doing it, they can be fine with people doing it to her."- TheGingerCynic
"You can not win with people like this."
"Anyone who feels it is ok to comment on another person's weight will not take it well if you direct it back to them."
"They have a mental block which does not let them see that it is inappropriate."
"They have an internal monologue that tells them it is ok for them to comment on others."
"But if someone does it to them they feel attacked."
"They cannot reconcile that the two situations are the same."
"Anyway."
"You are NTA and hopefully your aunt learned a lesson."- nancylyn
"NTA."
'I had a great aunt that tried this with me from childhood up until she went senile."
'I heard it CONSTANTLY whenever she was in town."
"I was an obese child and went into adulthood that way too."
"It was hard, and I kept having miserable diet culture and negative reinforcement drilled into me."
"Eventually, as an adult, I was able to make my own choices and began losing the weight on my own."
'I was getting active and doing things I enjoyed."
"I felt good."
"Did I eat perfectly all the time?"
'No."
"I still enjoyed food in moderation and allowed myself to eat intuitively."
"She visited my dad one summer, and I dropped in to see her and the family before heading to do backyard wrestling."
"I had a Wawa coffee and a muffin."
"She asked me if it was a 'diet muffin'."
'I said something snarky to her and met up with my wrestling buddies."
"Skipped lunch because I wasn't really hungry yet and went back to my dad's house."
"Fast forward, it's late afternoon."
"They're making dinner."
"I snatched a biscuit fresh from the oven."
"'You're eating again?'"- fenrirjotun
"NTA."
"You gave her a taste of her own medicine."- onion2077
"NTA."
"Let the big bij know whats up."- Nice_Nebula_6156
"Keep doing it."
"Maybe she will finally learn to keep her hands, and her unwelcome comments, to herself."
"NTA."- ProfessionalYam3119
There were a few, however, who didn't think the OP needed to sink to his aunt's level, even if they thought she deserved it:
"I mean.. ESH."
"But, I don’t blame you."
"She spent your whole life on you about your weight; it only makes sense you’d snap."
"It does make you also an a**hole, just less of one than her, and yours was very justified."
"This is one of those 'both things are true' situations: yes, she asked for it, and yes, your response was extremely understandable and imo justified; however, the way you did it."
"There are better ways to create and enforce boundaries."
"Just because I do think you are an ahole too, I don’t think you had much choice, and I don’t blame you."
"It’s okay to be the a**hole sometimes."- Kittenwho21
"Look."
"If someone is being as a**hole, and then you stood to their level, then ESH."
"It's that simple."
"I realize not everyone agrees with this simple philosophy, and it's good that you stood up for yourself."
"Sometimes we need to act like an a**hole."- jarboxing
"ESH."
"I’m sure the teenagers will believe you behaved just fine."
"So just take heart in that the brains of 15-year-olds think it was fine."- Inconceivable76
"ESH."
"Have you ever tried to talk to her about her constant verbal abuse?"
"Why do so few of these stories have the words 'I tried to talk to them about this issue' ..."- Gertrude_D
"ESH."
"But honestly I think you’re a justified a**hole in this scenario."- hyperhurricanrana
Others, however, felt the OP should have handled the situation more maturely and only made matters worse by clapping back at his aunt:
"YTA."
"Maybe not an a-hole but petty."
"Maybe next time be the bigger adult (no pun intended) and say 'hey auntie I don’t like when you comment on my body so please don’t ok?'”
"I understand this is a trigger but if you ask AITA, I say yeah."- tiosega
A joke at someone's expense is only funny if that person is laughing with everyone else.
Even then, someone's body is usually always off-limits.
Something the OP's aunt shouldn't have had to learn until she became the butt of the joke herself...
