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Groom Kicks Sibling Out Of Wedding For Making A Joke About His Affair During Toast

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It’s become something of a wedding tradition to roast the groom whenever someone from his circle gives a speech at the big event. But some jokes can just go way, way too far.

A person on Reddit learned this the hard way when they cracked wise about their brother having had an affair on his first wife during their wedding speech, enraging his brother and new sister-in-law.

They weren’t sure how to feel about how it all went down, so they went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.

The Original Poster (OP), who goes by the username throwra2433 on the site, asked:

“AITA for making a joke about my brother’s affair at his wedding?”

They explained:

“When I was in elementary school, I was the type of kid who got ‘disrupts class often’ on their report card so I never focused much on school.”

“My district had this system where they would pair high schoolers with younger kids to help them with school etc. and my mom made me do that after I kept getting in trouble.”

“So my tutor was a freshman (‘Abby’) so she would come to our house after school to help me with my homework or something (I barely remember).”

“My brother ‘John’ was the same age as Abby so they would talk to each other and ended up dating. She stopped tutoring me officially after like a month but since she was at our house a lot I also talked to Abby a lot and we were close as well.”

“Fast forward 10 years, Abby and John got married and had a kid together. Five years later John tells me that he’s getting a divorce because he’s met someone new. It sucked because I liked John and Abby together a lot but whatever.”

“Then he tells me he had an affair with his new girlfriend. Also sucks and I told him he shouldn’t have hurt Abby like that but whatever. I also asked Abby how she was doing and she wasn’t doing well but she told me she didn’t want her to be the reason I have a bad relationship with my brother.”

“However, two months before the wedding, Abby calls me and tells me that my brother’s girlfriend has been harassing her nonstop.”

“She showed me the texts and his girlfriend was saying some pretty disturbing things about how she’s so much better than Abby, taunting Abby for having to share custody of her kid now, etc. Just making fun of her and bullying her.”

“I told my brother about this and he said he would ‘ask his girlfriend about it.’ A month later I ask him if he ever brought it up and he said he did but saw ‘nothing wrong’ with the texts which pissed me off (i confirmed that he saw the same texts i saw).”

“Abby apologized for involving me in the whole thing in the first place and encouraged me to still go to the wedding, where my brother asked me to make a speech.”

“The speech went well until I made a joke. The gist of the joke was me turning to his new wife and telling her that if she’s learned anything from this she should know that my brother ‘will never let his wife stop him from finding the love of his life.'”

“This got my brother and his wife really mad, and they kicked me out shortly after, and my brother has been calling/texting me nonstop yelling at me.”

“tldr; made a joke about brothers affair”


People on Reddit were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

And as you might guess, they were pretty much unanimous that what OP did at his brother’s wedding was wildly inappropriate–though some couldn’t help but love it anyway.

“You know how vigilantes are technically in the wrong but we all cheer them on anyway?”

“YTA but High five” –catsncupcakes

“Clearly you were an AH, but I’m not mad at it. ESH.”

“Also, if you want to help Anna, tell her to show those texts to her lawyer, pretty sure the judge in a custody court would not find them amusing.” –photosbeersandteach

“My jaw hit the floor when I read that. Then my foot came up and kicked me in the a** for not thinking of such a great line.”

“Batchelor party, good line. Hanging out with the guys, good line. Wedding reception? BAD LINE. But I applaud the balls it takes to say that at the absolute worst time. Know your audience.” –jacob7574

“ESH except Abby. Bro and his new wife deserved that shade though. I kinda wish you had hit them with, ‘Just wait until he upgrades to wife 3.0 in a few years.'”

“Side story: My buddy was prevented from saying anything at my other buddy’s second wedding because he wanted to begin his speech with, ‘First, welcome back…'” –MadScientistCoder

“Definitely ESH, and same. I wish I’d thought of that “joke” when my stepmom (dad’s affair partner) said that she knew she was “the one” for my dad and just wished he’d met her first.” –Due-Compote375

“YTA, but I adore you. Happiness cannot be built on the misery of others. Nor is it deserved.Newbie is insecure, she knows once a cheater, always a cheater. LOL” –Takeabreak128

“NTA. I petition the introduction of Justified A**hole.” –RvrTam

“YTA. If I was attending that wedding I would have laughed my a** off! Sometimes being an a**hole is appropriate. Not all heroes wear capes.” –LockSea824


“This guys brother cheated after a decade and not only married the woman he cheated with but let his mistress HARASS the mother of his niece/nephew.”

“Informed his brother and his brother did not care. Homeworker and cheating husbands don’t deserve an ounce of sympathy they made their beds.”

“Was he right? Probably not. Was it well deserved? 1000 percent”

“Is he TA? Yes BUT HES THE AH WE LOVE good job man.” –Objective-Ad-4411


“EVEN IF he is the AH, so is pretty much everyone else in this story, so it would by ESH at most. But I think it was appropriate, it wasn’t even that bad a joke, really” –Traditional-Ad-3161

“If the new wife hadn’t been taunting Abby then I would say mind your own business even though I would have strongly disapproved as well.”

“You don’t mess with people when it comes to kids. It’s immature and cruel and he will do the same to her.”

“Normally I really do believe in the high road even when it tastes like Sh*t in your mouth, but your comment was hilarious and deserved.” –YouGottaBeKidney

“I have never in my life been happy to attend a wedding, but I wish I was at this one.”

“You know YTA, even if they deserved it. It was never your war, you have no right to wage a battle here. Infidelity and co-parenting are your brother, his ex wife, and new wife’s issue.”

“They can fight, play fair, wage war— you can provide your opinion if you’d like but are not entitled to be an active participant.”

“You are a hero though for the wronged in the story, so perhaps being an AH was worth it.” –Jazzlike-Squirrel-116

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I disagree, I think she’s NTA when he actively agrees with and enables his new wife to harass and bully the person she helped the brother cheat on.”

“Maybe it’s not her war but in my opinion, people like this deserve to be called on their sh*t and embarrassed for their bad behavior. If she wasn’t harassing and bullying the ex, I’d agree with you.” –transgenderspike

“honestly NTA”

“if he’s willing to have an affair, support bullying, and does all of that while he has kids, his friends and family should know what kind of a person they’re supporting.”

“is it petty? absolutely. But is it wrong? not in my eyes.” –DrewsToSay

“YTA. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t warranted….Or hilarious lol. But, just because it’s true and funny doesn’t mean that it’s appropriate or necessary. Your brother is going to be the way he is, so is his wife.”

“There’s no one on the face of the planet, no words you could string together, no threat that could make them change who they are as people, and they deserve each other honestly. Let them ruin each other’s lives on their own.” –Additional-Number969

“Yes my friend, yes you are, but I do applaud you for this petty move.”

“If you marry your affair partner, who on top of that treats the mother of your child like sh*t, you deserve a speech like this.”

“Well done indeed you earned it: YTA (in this case it’s a badge of honour).” –NyotaHikaru

“Okay… You are definitely AN a**hole. But he absolutely deserved this so imma let it slide” –lordkemosabe

Hopefully OP and his brother can reconcile.

Written by Peter Karleby

Peter Karleby is a writer, content producer and performer originally from Michigan. His writing has also appeared on YourTango, Delish and Medium, and he has produced content for NBC, The New York Times and The CW, among others. When not working, he can be found tripping over his own feet on a hiking trail while singing Madonna songs to ward off lurking bears.