Cancer sucks.
Too many people have been taken by the brutal disease.
Every day, all over the world, people are waging a war on cancer.
Many do win.
Cancer is not a topic people take lightly.
So it’s shocking when some people use it for nefarious reasons.
Redditor Fit-Hunt-2476 to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for exposing my sister’s fake cancer to our parents after she refused to come clean herself?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (34 F[emale]) just found out that my sister (31 F), who has been telling my whole family she has cancer for the last 8 months, has been lying.”
“She shaved her head, said she was doing chemo, and had our parents move in to ‘help her through treatment.'”
“I started to have doubt when, besides also staying out late relatively frequently, she would never let anyone attend appointments with her, and she clearly had way too much energy for someone going through aggressive chemotherapy.”
“Last week, I ran into the office manager of my sister’s oncologist at a coffee shop (small town).”
“I casually mentioned my sister, and the office manager was confused; she had no idea who I was talking about.”
“I did some digging through doctors and spoke to my sister about what I learned, and she broke down and spilled her guts.”
“It turns out she fabricated the whole story because she was over her head with debt and couldn’t afford her apartment anymore.”
“The cancer story got our parents to move in, and she could then stop paying her bills.”
“I was furious and told her that she had 24 hours to tell our parents the truth or I would.”
“She asked me not to tell them because it would ruin her relationship with them.”
“She did not tell them, so yesterday I told everything to our parents.”
“Our parents are heartbroken.”
“My sister is acting like I had no right to ‘out’ her and she didn’t even say this to our parents, she was going to stage a ‘miraculous recovery’ next month.”
“She said I ruined her life, and that family should be trying to defend each other rather than expose each other.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for exposing my sister’s fake cancer to our parents after she refused to come clean herself?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA for telling them.”
“But you were a tiny bit of an AH for not demanding that she tell your parents immediately, like within 15 minutes of finding out.”
“24 hours is too long to be deceived into thinking your child is dying.” ~ Additional_Mood_7997
“As someone who survived 6 different cancer diagnoses, including chemotherapy for ovarian cancer, please tell your sister that I hope she knows how hard a cancer patient has to fight just to survive.”
“Your sister is a lunatic and a monster.” ~ Electrical-Act-7170
“Honestly, I do not think you should regret giving her 24 hours.”
“In my opinion, that’s totally reasonable.”
“Gives her time to come up with an apology that hopefully is genuine, but clearly, that wasn’t the direction she chose to go.”
“My stepdaughter accidentally outed herself to me about something that her mother would certainly be unhappy about; It wasn’t earth-shattering, nor particularly bad, just that garden variety parental disappointment thing.”
“I gave her a similar ultimatum, it was ‘You have till the end of the weekend to tell Mom. I can be there if you want when you do, but you need to tell her.'”
“Giving people that f**ked up a chance to do their own processing about the magnitude of their f**k-up is not a bad thing when giving that time won’t change anything.
“Also if it’s not obvious: NTA.”
“One million percent NTA.” ~ slash_networkboy
“Completely agree with you.”
“OP, your sister’s lie went way too far, and your parents deserved the truth sooner.”
“Giving her 24 hours was honestly more grace than she deserved.”
“You did the right thing, even if it was hard, protecting your family from that kind of manipulation matters.” ~ PuffySprinkless
“NTA. There is no rule that ‘family’ is supposed to corroborate psychopathic lies or else be accused of ruining the liar’s life.” ~ Content-Plenty-268
“NTA whatsoever.”
“Unfortunately, my ‘cousin’ pulled the same stunt.”
“My family is still dealing with his stupidity a few years later, and it’s exhausting (secondhand, my beloved albeit gullible grandparents refuse to cut him off).”
“My advice is to talk with your parents about getting her some sort of help and go very limited contact with her (no contact if she refuses).”
“Also, don’t be surprised if she pulls a similar stunt again.”
“From what I’ve experienced, people who do this are chronic liars who are addicted to the attention and have a permanent victim complex.” ~ maplethistle
“NTA. I’m really curious about the family dynamic here, though.”
“I couldn’t imagine not being able to just go to my parents and ask for help.”
“This whole situation is weird.” ~ Ferowin
“Does your sister have a history of this kind of manipulation?”
“Or was she a bit of a spoiled child/golden child?”
“You are definitely NTA, but this kind of behavior just doesn’t come out of nowhere.”
“If you haven’t seen it before then I bet somebody else has.” ~ Single-Tangerine9992
“NTA. Putting your parents through the agony of thinking you have cancer and making them pay for your apartment when their money needs to start going to their retirement fund is sick.” ~ Pale_Cranberry1502
“NTA OMG, why do people do this?”
“Why do people fake illnesses?”
“Her reasoning, just to use her parents for their money, is absolutely diabolical.”
“I hope they sue her to recoup anything they’ve paid to help her.” ~ EdenCapwell
“Too many people fake cancer, and as someone who has battled it 3 times, it’s no joke the side effects of chemo are deadly themselves, and to use that as a sympathy ploy is outlandish.” ~ Dangerous_Farm_2188
“Your sister needs mental help… ASAP… that is not only beyond horrific to do to your parents (I saw my parents go through it with my sister’s brain cancer, and it destroyed them on the inside), but that’s beyond disturbing?!?”
“Pathological liar is what comes to mind.”
“The normal person would probably find another job, find another place, move back in with parents, or get a roommate.”
“The only thing she came up with was cancer… just says a lot about her.”
“She deserves everything she’s going through, and I hope she gets the help she needs.”
“Don’t regret what you did, someone had to stop the manipulation and lying.”
“When she matures she’ll realize what you did is what was needed for it to stop.” ~ Ly22
“My best friend of 35 years had aggressive cancer two years ago.”
“I gave her my flat to live in.”
“She only pays bills, no rent.”
“She struggled for a year.”
“And is still not okay due to neuropathy.”
“Your sister spat in the face of all cancer patients and survivors.”
“NTA. And I won’t even start on how your parents must feel and felt.” ~ Seaweed8888
“NTA… family does defend each other… you were defending your parents from her emotional and financial abuse and manipulation.”
“She’s not the victim.” ~ similar_name4489
“Lol. NTA.”
“A chick in our motorcycle community just pulled this crap, including the shaved head, a whole lot.”
“Got people to raise money for her motorcycle accessories and willed people into helping her build stuff because she supposedly had a year to live.”
“We even organized a surprise ride as a ‘one last ride.'”
“Only for her to start bragging, that she doesn’t have cancer and was not dying, not leaving 2 kids behind etc, etc.”
“Her hubby left her over the lie, and the ENTIRE state bike community has shunned her so hard for lying to us that she may as well get rid of her bike, nobody will go near her.”
“The point I’m making is that these people are another level of effed in the head and don’t deserve sympathy when it all comes to light.”
“Cancer is just the ONE thing you don’t lie about, and the level of disrespect toward actual cancer patients is just… whole other level.”
“Please let it come to light.”
“She dug her own hole, and now she can sit and stare at it while realizing nobody will ever trust her again. NTA.” ~ kasparzellar
“You did defend your family.”
“The ones who were being scammed by someone who didn’t care about them at all and just saw them as servants and a wallet to take from.”
“You actually had an obligation to “out” her or you would be participating in her fraud.”
“She could literally be arrested for this level of fraud for cash gain, and anyone who contributed one penny to her case could bring the charges she should be grateful you are not going that route.”
“NTA at all.” ~ Ok_Pomegranate_5748
“It takes a true psychopath to fake cancer for any reason.”
“I am so sorry you and your family had to go through this.”
“I hope your sister decides to get help from a psychiatrist or therapist/some qualified person.”
“I also hope your sister realizes what she’s done and decides to make amends.”
“I wish you and your parents a happy heart.” ~ REDDIT
“Your sister might be a sociopath, so she might not exactly be able to take any blame at all.”
“And since sociopathy is incurable, as it technically is no disease, but a wrongly wired brain, you will never be able to find a working ground with her.” ~ Azula-the-firelord
“She’s right, family should defend each other.”
“Just like you defended your parents against her manipulation and theft by deception. NTA.” ~ Maximum-Spot-9087
Reddit is with you, OP.
Where does one even begin to try and process your sister’s actions?
It’s outrageous!
She needs a therapist, stat!
You had every right to do what you did.
She is correct, one should stick up for family.
You stood up for your parents.
Good luck with all of this.