It’s important for everyone to take care of their body and stay healthy.
But while some will just make sure they have a salad every now and then, and make a couple visits a week to the gym, others take their health and fitness much more seriously.
This means making multiple visits to the gym a day, and carefully planning and managing food.
The girlfriend of Redditor Ok-Village5901 certainly fell in the latter party, being especially careful regarding her diet.
As a result, when the original poster (OP), offered a less than thought out suggestion on the subject, it did not go over well at all.
Wondering if he was actually out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my girlfriend to stop meal planning?”
In a short, concise post, the OP explained how eating one snack led to an unexpected confrontation between his girlfriend and himself.
“I know it sounds bad but hear me out.”
“My (23 M[ale]) girlfriend (20 F[emale]) Charlotte is really big into fitness.”
“She always played sports as a kid and is now playing volleyball in college.”
“She also goes to the gym six days a week.”
“Because of this, she likes to ‘meal prep’ for the week to make sure that she gets her ‘macros’.”
“Just a couple hours ago she went into the fridge and suddenly became very frantic because I had eaten her overnight oats.”
“I think that’s what they are called.”
“I didn’t realize they were apart of her meal prep because she had never made them before and didn’t say anything.”
“Usually her meal preps are several of the same meal but there was only one oatmeal container so I thought it wasn’t hers.”
“She went off about how inconsiderate I was being because she didn’t have time to cook in the morning because of her schedule.”
“I immediately apologized for eating it.”
“I know that was super crappy and I genuinely had no idea.”
“This is where I may have fucked up.”
“After apologizing I said maybe she should stop meal prepping if not getting one of her meals throws her off that much.”
“She got angry and said that I wouldn’t understand since I don’t play a sport.”
“Then she left.”
“She usually texts me when she gets to her location safely but hasn’t said anything since our argument.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The OP found little sympathy from the Reddit community, who felt his behavior definitely made him the a**hole.
Everyone agreed that not only was it wrong for the OP to suggest his girlfriend change her diet, but that he shouldn’t have taken food which he knew wasn’t his.
“Did you make it?”
“Then whose did you think it was if not hers?”- AmazingAmiria
Did you think the magical oats fairy prepped the overnight oats?”
“You didn’t make them, which means they weren’t yours.”
“You know your GF plans meals, so it should have been very obvious ‘Huh, this prepared food that I didn’t make is probably part of my GF’s meal prep’.”
“Maybe I should make something for myself instead’.”
“Her meal prepping didn’t cause a problem, you ignoring that something was very clearly one of her prepped meals is what caused the problem.”- Samael13
“Of course YTA.”
“The fact that not having prepped meals available stresses her out is why she puts in all that work to prep meals, not a reason to stop.”
“That argument doesn’t make any sense and you wouldn’t be making it if you didn’t feel badly.”
“You feel badly because you messed up by eating something you supposedly didn’t know was hers, but sure as hell knew wasn’t yours.”
“And didn’t, I notice, immediately jump up to help her make a quick replacement for what you ate.”
“Your guilt caused you to lash out and that’s a you problem, not a her problem.”
“Stop projecting it onto her.”- MollyRolls
“My man, I’m a physician in his 30s with young kids and a wife.”
“We meal plan and meal prep.”
“If we don’t we run out of time and it causes stress.”
“Your GF is functioning highly academically and athletically.”
“If in the moment one of my meals for the family disappeared I’d be pissed.”
“If someone then suggested that my being pissed off was disordered I’d be livid.”
“Also YOU DIDN’T MAKE IT so therefore it does not matter whether it’s part of her prep or not so you have no justification for eating it.”- speakingtoidiots
“Um, whose food did you think you ate and left without a meal instead, and why would that have been ok?”
“For starters you ‘thought it wasn’t hers’ because her meals usually look differently.”
“But I mean you obviously knew it wasn’t yours.”
“I’d say the reasonable next step is to maybe ask her to label her meals, but asking her to stop entirely?!”
“It’s working for her.”
“Just have her add labels or have her own drawer or something.”-ManyBoysenberry6655
“Why wouldn’t you have at least asked about the random new food you saw in the fridge?”-Ok_Image6174
“Sorry OP, but YTA here.”
“A pre-cooked meal in fridge is pretty obviously not up for grabs.”
“It would have been really easy to just ask her if she was saving them.”
“Asking her to stop meal prepping because you can’t respect basic fridge etiquette is pretty rude.”
“She deserves a real apology and some support in her commitment to being healthy.”-FreeTheWelder
“Of course YTA.”
“You knew for sure you hadn’t prepared it and it wasn’t yours.”
“Instead of saying ‘my bad’, your solution is to tell her to stop meal prepping.”
“Just don’t eat things you didn’t cook.”- CrystalQueen3000
“You ate her food and apologized.”
“You then mitigated your own responsibility by criticism of her routine.”
“You are essentially saying ‘I am sorry because I did wrong but you’ve got no business being upset at me and if you are upset you have a problem that isn’t my fault’.”- LadyCass79
“Since you did not make the oats, they were obviously not yours.”
“Are you sabotaging her on purpose because you don’t like her meal prepping?”
“It’s a long stretch because you were wrong but worse because you are putting her down for her fitness routine.”- tatersprout
“That was inconsiderate, you knew you didn’t make it or even really know what it was.”
“You knew it was hers and that there was only one.”
“And you ate it anyway.”
“I hope you like being single, cause you may be there soon if you keep that up.”
“Maybe you should meal prep your own meals and leave hers alone.”
“Apologize again, buy her more stuff and maybe even make her more.”
“In the future, be more supportive of her.”- Bibbyrat
“Her issue isn’t meal prepping, it is you.”- Which_Pudding_4332
“Meal prepping is time consuming and exhausting.”
“It requires significant advanced planning and effort, especially when accounting for macros, but even if you’re just trying to make a relatively healthy meal for, at minimum, 3 meals per day, typically 5-6 for those who are fueling a high-intensity exercise regimen.”
“You just ate your girlfriend’s time, previously expended energy, physical and mental, and future energy.”
“And instead of owning up to being a lazy thief, your first instinct was to tell her to change her lifestyle.”
“Your girlfriend is on a special diet, and you just help yourself to a pre made meal in the fridge, that you didn’t make, but didn’t think was hers?”
“In case you’re wondering, she’s extra mad at you because you blamed her for being rightfully angry at you for what you did, back on her.”
“So you’re not actually sorry about anything.”
“Stop trying to sabotage her diet to cover your own stupidity.”- AliManny
The OP later shared an update that he later had a chat with his girlfriend, where he revealed his girlfriend apologized for her behavior, while also expressing how important her food prep was to hr.
“She apologized for snapping at me over an accident she was just pissed off in the heat of the moment but asked me to not touch any of her meal prep food without asking especially before practice because her foods are important to keeping her physically fit and keeping her energy high.”
“She said that not keeping to her nutritional goals can cause potential injuries for her.”
“She said if I want the food she preps I need to ask her to make me some while she’s prepping on Sundays.”
While it seemed that the OP definitely heard what his girlfriend had to say, and seemed to acknowledge that he’ll be more understanding going forward, it’s still surprising that he didn’t share that he apologized himself.
As the oatmeal he ate wasn’t quite the same as taking cookies from a communal cookie jar.
Then too, maybe instead of asking his girlfriend to include him on certain meal preps, maybe he could contribute and help out?
One can only hope.