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Bride Irate After Groom’s Mom Threatens Not To Come To Wedding If She Can’t Dress ‘Sexy’

Frustrated middle-aged woman
John Sommer/Getty Images

Redditor BeeNo5344 is getting ready to send her son down the aisle to his bride, but an outfit disagreement has put a damper on this happy occasion.

The Original Poster (OP) and her future daughter-in-law are not seeing eye to eye.

This disagreement led the OP to the subReddit, “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

There she asked:

“AITA for not wanting to wear the ugly Mother of the Groom outfit my future DIL picked out ?”

She went on to explain.

“My son, 23, and his fiancee, 23, are getting married in early September. I, [44-year-old Female] was assigned “coral” as my color and picked out a fancy Calvin Klein dress in coral.”

“It’s called the Starburst dress, and it’s a satin-type material. She wanted me to try it on the other day and has now decided it’s not motherly enough and wants me to wear this ugly chiffon pantsuit.”

“I told her I’m fine with what I got, and I’m not sure precisely what the issue is with my dress.”

“I offered to wear a shawl if my shoulders showing is the issue, but she said no, it’s too “sexy” period, and I need to look like a mother and dress my age.”

“I told her she is being ridiculous and I would rather just not go. Now she is all mad, and my son is upset and trying to mediate.”

The OP was left to wonder,


The OP also provided some an image of a comparable pantsuit: 

Screenshot of Cicilia Mother-of-the-Bride pantsuit Pantsuit

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

    • NTA – Not The A**hole
    • YTA – You’re The A**hole
    • NAH – No A**holes Here
    • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“NTA. I’ve googled the CK Starburst dress – it’s basically a shift dress cut just above the knee, sleeveless but with wide shoulder straps and a wide boat neck.”

“It has gathers/tucks/pleats at the hip/waist that create a wide starburst of about six pleats from shoulder to low hip. It’s very business tidy and not sexy at all.”

“So this means… the OP must look DAMN HOT to carry it and look sexy.”

“And DIL wants her in a floaty chiffon 60yr olds outfit of many layers and basically designed for a woman with a broad spread.”

“Ahahaha. This means OP looks really hot, and DIL is sour because she doesn’t want a hot-looking MIL.”

“Let DIL buy the chiffon outfit. Give it to your mother to wear (groom’s grandmother). Wear the CK dress. Everyone wins!”

“EDIT: Someone has rightly pointed out that the groom’s grandmother deserves better. Update is to offer it to the brides mother.”

“That should sort the entire matter out. Either she wears it, or she recoils in horror. Problem solved.” – Particular-Try5584

“I’m almost the same age as you, and I’d honestly be furious if someone told me that I needed to dress more ‘motherly.’”

“And especially if they tried to force me to wear the hideous outfit that your FDIL [future daughter-in-law] is trying to make you wear.”

“I cannot understand for the life of me why some people go batsh*t crazy the moment they start planning their wedding.”

“I wonder if you look so good in the Calvin Klein that she genuinely feels like she’d be walking in your shadow?”

“ETA: Someone responded to my comment saying that maybe OP could get the hideous outfit altered to make it look better, and I think this isn’t a bad idea at all.”

“I’m pretty sure a decent tailor could turn it into a sexy jumpsuit.”

“NTA” – Slight_Nail_5869

“The Calvin Klein is gorgeous. Very clean, elegant, and classic. MORE than appropriate for someone who’s mid-40s.”

“Your future DIL’s comment about dressing your age? Yeah… I’m guessing her mom is older than you, and she’s trying to make you look frumpy.”

“NTA. Tell your son that the outfit his bride chose is something that a 70 yo geriatric person with little to no sense of style would choose. You’re 44.”

“You have chosen a very appropriate dress and will not be wearing the pantsuit monstrosity.”

“Maybe ask your son what the real issue is. Your future DIL is definitely trying to embarrass you.”

“Edited to add: my apologies for using 70 as an “old age.” Let’s strike that through :-)” – Beck2010

“I’m four years younger than you, and I’d be livid if someone told me to “dress my age” and suggested that ugly pantsuit. NTA” – FLchick415

“NTA. Your DIL assigning a color to anyone other than the bridesmaids/groomsmen is already problematic enough; you’re her fiance’s parents, not props in a photo shoot.”

“You should wear whatever makes you comfortable and happy. I’m honestly not sure where this trend of dictating a color scheme or outfits to wedding guests came from (TikTok?).”

“But it’s incredibly rude and out of line, and selfish couples who phrase this as anything other than optional need a reality check”

“And then your DIL doubles down with those icky comments about “dressing your age” that feel really shaming and judgmental.”

“DIL has serious issues and a heavy dose of main character syndrome. Your son is in for an interesting marriage if this is who he’s marrying… Just saying.”

“I do think refusing to attend the wedding because of this is a step too far. You want to be there for your son, right?”

“If so, talk to him and have him discuss with his bride that parents are invited honored guests, not props, and should be encouraged to wear what they want.”

“Then find an outfit that makes you happy and show up. Keep smiling, have a good time, and if DIL chooses to cause a scene, that’s on her.”

“ETA: I’m about your age (43) and actually own the starburst dress in purple. It’s a chic dress that is not even a little bit inappropriate.”

“IMHO, if anything it’s a bit too office/corporate for an evening wedding, but that is just personal taste.”

“Your DIL is totally in the wrong for trying to shame you for wearing it, especially since you were making an effort to accommodate her color scheme.”

“I also would be horrified to wear that pantsuit. I think even my mom, in her 70s, would find it old looking.”

“ETA #2: And yes, I’m aware of how weddings work. I actually got married just last year.”

“Some trends popular with today’s GenZ couples are completely disrespectful to guests, and this toxic wedding attitude of “it’s your day so you can do whatever you want” is just plain inconsiderate.”

“Your DIL needs to get over herself.” – coffeeloverfreak374

“Tell her Thank You For Being a Friend, but you’re not quite into your golden years yet. NTA”

“I’d ask if the two of you could compromise on a different outfit, but I don’t think she’s in the right head space for that.” – Cherry_Hammer

“You’re 44. How is this ancient pink monstrosity age-appropriate for you?!!! NTA! Sincerely, a 28-year-old.” – MicciMichi


“That pantsuit is hideous.”

“Talk to your son. Explain that you aren’t comfortable with his wife for trying to make you wear something that isn’t to your taste to his wedding.”

“Offer to buy a different dress for his wedding, but his wife doesn’t get to pick it.” – teresajs

“NTA, and now you know your DIL is jealous of you. I am so sorry.”

“Talk to your son, don’t blame or anything, just state that you will not be dressing like the late Queen Mum.”

“And if it’s forced on you, you will bring six corgies and be at least four gin & tonics in before the vows even happen.”

“She may be reading Justnomil-type drama stories and is seeing you as some kind of villain.”

“Start communicating now, hopefully, you can eventually get over this nonsense and laugh about the time she tried to put you in geriatric drag.” – ImmunocompromisedAle

“So I just googled the Calvin Klein dress, and I don’t see what the issue with that dress is. It’s not white, it’s not bridal, and it’s not overly revealing.”

“NTA. Your future DIL’s comment about dressing your age is frankly ridiculous. It’s not like you’re trying to show up in hot pants and a crop top.”

“That pantsuit is honestly horrid. What did you do that she’s trying to punish you like that?!” – eternal_entropy

“‘Dress my age’ WTF, you’re only 44?!?! It sounds like the original dress you got was perfect for your age.”

“That pantsuit is made for women in their 60s/70s. I would have never told anyone what they should wear at my wedding. NTA” – GoatsNCatapults

“Girl, I say wear the d*mn pantsuit. Get a ridiculously over-the-top hat to go with it as well. Then just lean into the ridiculousness of the outfit and own it with confidence.”

“You can tell everyone with a huge smile that your DIL chose it for you and then ask them if they don’t love it. When they go low, we go lower.”

“EDIT: NTA – she’s being petty and trying to put you down.” – Royal-Earth-5900

“That looks super ‘I’m divorced and go everywhere with my small white dog’”

“NTA, she’s probably insecure you’ll look better than her mom. I don’t know why else it’s a big deal.”

“You’re young and most likely younger than her mom, but the wedding isn’t about the parents, it’s about them? So why make a big fuss over it? She has other things to worry about” – owolowiec16

That pantsuit is cruel and unusual punishment.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)