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Dad Claps Back After His Sister-In-Law Calls His Wife ‘Selfish’ For Bottle-Feeding Their Newborn

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Redditor 143BenAndHolly is a supportive father whose wife is suffering from postpartum depression.

When the Redditor invited his brother and family over for a visit, drama ensued as a result of his sister-in-law (SIL) making comments that were apparently upsetting his wife.

He dealt with the issue, and the consequences led him to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit, where he asked:

“AITA for calling my SIL a hypocrite after she criticized my wife’s choice to bottle feed our baby?”

The Original Poster (OP) wrote:

“My wife gave birth to our first child July of this year. She tried to breastfeed our son but couldn’t handle the pain, she also suffered from postpartum depression so I suggested we try formula.”

“Our baby is growing healthy and happy and my wife started to feel good again. She still feels down sometimes but her medication has helped her a lot.”

“My brother and his family visited us last week. They gave us gifts for the baby and asked how things are going for us. We were just chatting in the livingroom when our baby started crying.”

“My wife hurried to the kitchen to prepare our son’s bottle when SIL followed her. She said something along the lines of ‘are you sure you want to feed your baby cow’s milk?.'”

“My wife said yes and explained that she tried breastfeeding but it was too painful for her. SIL then went on to say that when she had her firstborn she never complained of pain and that her ‘great love’ for her child helped her overcome everything.”

“I told her everyone’s experience is unique but she continued to say we are depriving our child the best nutrients because we’re feeding him cow’s milk.”

“This time my wife already went to the nursery to feed our baby. My SIL said she can’t believe how some mom’s are so selfish by choosing to bottle feed to not destroy their figure (my wife is slim even after giving birth).”

“I told her that is not the reason we chose to bottle feed. She stopped making comments because her daughter started to get fussy.”

“She pulled a snack from her diaper bag and what do you know, she handed her daughter cheetos. I wanted to say something but I stopped myself because I thought it’s uncalled for.”

“We continued talking for a few minutes when my wife joined us holding our son to help him burp. SIL went on to say ‘Oh you poor thing. Did mommy give you cow’s milk? I hope you don’t end up malnourished.'”

“My wife didn’t say anything but I could see from her expression that she was hurt. I told my SIL ‘can you stop being a hypocrite and give your daughter a healthier snack.'”

“My brother got pissed that I called his wife a hypocrite. We got into a verbal altercation which ended in me kicking them out.”

“Our parents are now angry at both of us for acting like teenagers. They want us to apologize to each other but I refused. I said only if SIL apologized to my wife first. AITA?”

“Edit for clarification: we use Kirkland signature ProCare. It is baby formula. My SIL calls it cow’s milk. I don’t know maybe to make it sound awful.”

Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole here.

“NTA. Your SIL was incredibly rude and mean to badger your wife for doing what is best for her and her baby.”

“The fact she turned around and gave such a horrible snack to her kid was an easy thing to call out. You simply stated the truth that she is a hypocrite.” – Talathia

“NTA: your SIL is straight stupid for multiple reasons because it isn’t cows milk, it is baby formula that is specifically made FOR BABIES! And not everyone can breastfeed!”

“Fed is best 😊 your wife was attentive to your baby’s needs, bonded with him while feeding him in a quiet room, and then burped him.”

“Sounds like a loving mother regardless of bottle versus breast. I would have said something too. It’s good to defend your wife, especially against someone who won’t stop saying ignorant things.” – Chicagobeauty

“More to the point, your SIL insulted your wife in her own home. You don’t do that and then be all shocked pikachu when you get the boot.”

“I didn’t breastfeed. I have a visceral reaction to it. I don’t mind other people doing it, but my mother really impacted my breastfeeding. I gave in to pressure and tried with my last. Once.”

“As soon as she was latched on, I was so grossed out that I ripped her off of me, gave her back to the nurse, and threw up more. I’m not one of those people who throws up. But after my c-section, I threw up so much that it was conversation worthy among the nurses.”

“As much as people in the thick of raising a baby feel how you feed is important, here’s a perspective from someone who is way beyond those things now: By the time your kid hits kindergarten, there’s no way to just tell how your kid was fed.”

“They’ll all eat fries off the floor and pick their nose, because that’s what little kids do.” – ClothDiaperAddicts

“NTA, she had no business picking at a new mom like that.”

“Also -“

‘My SIL said she can’t believe how some mom’s are so selfish by choosing to bottle feed to not destroy their figure.’

“What??? Breastfeeding is the way to go for weight loss, it burns an insane amount of calories… that’s where I lost all the rest of my postpartum weight.”

“I can’t see how bottle feeding would be the thing to preserve one’s ‘figure.'” – PangolinSignal3674

“NTA – Sounds like a case of the can dish it out but can’t take its. I get where your parents are coming from, but with full context you are standing up for your family against, what sounds like, a bully.”

“You do what you have to do for your family. But don’t let a mountain form from a molehill either, this sounds like something you can and should be able to move past.” – Kixion

Overall, Redditors continued defending the OP for calling out someone who they believed was being a hypocrite.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo