Many people believe that when in search of a romantic partner, you really can't make a fair judgment without having a second date.
For others, though, they tend to just know if someone is a good match for them or not.
More often than not, they make this discovery after less than five minutes of speaking with them.
Other times, they might be more than open to a second date, right until they say goodnight....
Redditor Iguanal0ver was recently set up on a blind date by their friends.
Initially, things seemed to be going well, and the original poster (OP) was more than open to the possibility of a second date.
Until things took an unexpected turn, making a second date out of the question in the OP's eyes.
After being called a "sensitive b*tch" for feeling this way, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole Here" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for declining a second date with a guy after he ran over an iguana?"
The OP explained how a recent blind date blew all their chances for a second date:
"There's honestly not much to the story."
"I got set up on a blind date with Daniel (fake name) by some our mutual friends, as we‘ve both been in the dating scene for quite a bit. I’m (21 Non-Binary [NB]) and Daniel is (23 M[ale]).
"The date itself was pretty uneventful."
"We got to know each other and he genuinely seemed like a pretty cool guy,I was seriously considering a second date with him."
"That was until he drove me home."
"Where I’m from, iguanas are an invasive species."
"While considered a plague, I still am of the opinion that they shouldn’t be mercilessly killed; in fact, I think they’re one of my favorite animals."
"This is important."
"While he’s driving me home, we’re both chatting away when I suddenly notice an iguana on the road."
"It was a vibrant green and a small little fella, couldn’t have been older than 1.5 years."
"He honestly looked pretty confused."
"There weren’t many cars on the road lane where it was standing so, I assumed he’d be safe if he ran fast enough."
"But my date had other plans."
"Without as much of a warning, he swerved into the other lane, running over the iguana and then laughed about it."
"I think he said something, but I didn’t quite hear it, as I was in shock."
"I didn’t say anything for the rest of the drive."
"Once he dropped me off, I told him, 'It was lovely meeting you, but I don’t think there should be a second date.”
"Without missing a beat, he asked if it was about the iguana, proceeded to call me a sensitive b*tch, and then sped off."
"I later realized he blocked me, and now some of our friends said I shouldn’t feel bad for an iguana and that I was an a**hole for not giving him another chance over that."
"With so many of our friends on his side, I came to ask Reddit."
"AITAH?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for pulling the plug on a second date.
Just about everyone agreed that if deliberately running over an iguana wasn't enough to justify no second date, Daniel's calling the OP a "sensitive b*tch" definitely was:
"Proceeded to call me a sensitive b*tch and then sped off."
"NTA, bullet dodged."- peakpenguins
"NTA."
"Swerving into the opposite lane to kill an animal, then calls you names and acts reckless when called out?"
"No, you are not the AH here."- VxGB111
"NTA."
"But your friends kind of suck."- ToggleMoreOptions
"NTA."
"Never trust people that are wantonly cruel to animals."- maybe-an-ai
"We know people by how they treat animals."
"NTA."- Forsaken-Equal9839
"Why the hell are your friends defending this psychotic behavior?"
"I think you need new friends."
"NTA."- Last-Campaign-3373
"NTA."
"Never has the term bullet dodged rang so keenly."- Busy_Rhubarb6818•
"Your friends are also tools."
"Can you also get new friends?"
"What is wrong with people?"
"This makes me sick to read."- Neverstopstopping82
"Invasive species should be taken out, absolutely."
"However how he went it about said a lot about his brain works."
"Merciless and willing to endanger you both just to take out an iganua?"
"Yea no."
"Your friends have sh*t standards."
"NTA but get better friends."- MagicalSitarTruths
"Jesus what a creep."
"You are NTA."- marklikestolearn
"To do this on a first date is pretty crazy."
"I do my best to avoid running animals over, it’s not a good thing."
"Bullet dodged."- TechDreamcoat
"Finding joy in animal cruelty is the first symptom of psychopathy."
"If he can kill an innocent animal and laugh about it, who knows what he could do to you behind closed doors?"- pindvarp420
"NTA."
"He may have killed it because it's an invasive species, but to go out of his way to do it, and then insult you for disapproving?"
"He's the AH, not you."- johncate73
"You need new friends."
"NOW."- Timely-Group5649
"I'd be considering dropping some friends too."- Weary-Introduction-5
"Exhibited psychopath level behavior and then didn't respect your decision and called you a b*tch?"
"And some of your friends are upset with you?"
"Those are not friends and he is a psychopath, and you dodged a HUGE bullet."- Powerful_Company_682
"Animal cruelty is a huge red flag."- IntrovertedBrawler
"Based on how he treats animals, you could possibly have received the same treatment."
"You did the right thing and your friends are jerks."
"NTA."- lilguybigaxe
"NTA."
"You can date/ don’t have to date , anyone , for any reason."- Druid-Flowers1
"NTA."
"Your friends think you should go on a second date with a man who was comfortable with calling you a sensitive b*tch on the first date?"
"Get better friends."
"You could debate if killing an invasive species is acceptable, or if when doing so, you should laugh like a serial killer but the insult when told there is no second date proves he wasn't worth a second date."- StandingGoat
"Anyone who enjoys killing animals that much is a monster and should be avoided by everyone."- crazybicatlady86
"His mask dropped fast."
"NTA."
"Bullet dodged."- Lindris
"This dude is mentally unstable."
"It's really weird to go out of your way to kill a living being just for the fun of it."
"That's just sadistic."
"I'm not about to date someone I'm afraid of."
"Op, NTA."
"Sorry that happened."
"Please stay safe."- reckless_rachel
"NTA."
"Its one thing if it ran out in the road and couldn't be helped."
"He intentionally did it, swerved to do it, and laughed."
"Yuck."
"Don't look back!"- ItaliaEyez
"You need new friends."- Agreeable-Inside-632
"'You're so SENSITIVE about my UNNECESSARY CRUELTY'."
"Invasive species or not, taking glee over killing something is gross."
"NTA."- AliaMelange
"I'm stopping for dumba** birds so they can fly away, I could never."
"Run far away from someone who laughs at killing something."- whitstheshit1986
"Children who hurt animals grow up to become psychopaths."- counselorofracoons
"That’s crazy behavior to intentionally go out of his way to run it over and laugh about it."
"Especially on a first date."
"Did he seem like an outdoorsy type who cares about the native wildlife?"
"I still think this behavior is crazy if that is the case."
"If he just gets off on killing things, you should stay far away."
"Not the AH."
"Even if he did it with good intentions, you are more than allowed to have that as a deal breaker."
"And he called you a b*tch, he doesn’t care about your feelings or opinions at all."
"Bad sign for a potential partner."- spitvalv
"NTA."
"No reason is required for declining a second date."
"Running over an innocent creature and laughing about it is a good reason."
"Calling you a sensitive b*tch immediately upon rejection is a second good one."
"Your friends can mind their own business or date him themselves."- Jamestodd106
"NTA."
"Someone who goes out of their way to harm an innocent life is psychotic."
"I’m glad you got the chance to realize that about this man early on & are safely away from him."- blendswithtrees
The fact that Daniel not only didn't apologize for upsetting the OP with his actions but instead resorted to name-calling says pretty much everything about his character.
The OP's friends taking Daniel's side in this says plenty about them as well.
One can hope this will be the last time the OP is ever set up on a blind date by this particular group of friends.
And the OP is all the luckier for that.
