While a bride and groom are entitled to have their nuptials tailored to their specific demands, it can also potentially backfire.
Redditor throwaway2071cqt is a seventeen-year-old who was designated to be the bridesmaid at her brother’s wedding that wound up being postponed.
When the wedding was back on, she discovered much to her dismay that plans had changed.
Things took a dramatic turn and inflammatory comments were made.
When the dust settled, she visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for literally being the cause of my brother cancelling his wedding because I couldn’t ‘get over’ the fact it was childfree.”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I(17f) originally was meant to be a bridesmaid at my brothers (25m) wedding in 2020 but they cancelled when my sil found out she was pregnant.”
“there was no talk of a wedding till 2 weeks ago when they surprised us by saying they were legally married but will have an official wedding with family and friends at sil aunts mansion to save money for the honeymoon.”
“I was excited even though sil was gonna ask me to maid of honour when she and my sister (25f) asked to talk to me alone.”
“Well no I wasn’t maid of honour or even invited.”
“apparently the aunt said kids weren’t allowed at her mansion but she’d allow my sisters daughter(flower girl) and my brothers baby to be at the ceremony for 20 minutes so they could take pictures than they had to leave or she’d shut down the wedding.”
They explained since it’s a child free wedding and I was technically a child (lol) I wouldn’t be allowed to attend anyway so they decided I’d babysit along with the brides 16 year old cousin a total of 9 kids as a way of being involved in the wedding without being there.”
“My sil had the balls to tell me she’d even count it as a wedding gift if I would take a few days off school to babysit while she’s on honeymoon .”
“I honestly couldn’t speak due to shock till my sister suggested I should take their kids overnight because they’d all be hungover the next day.”
“I screamed ‘NO,NO,NO IM NOT YOUR NANNY DONT ASK ME TO EVER BABYSIT AGAIN EVER F’K YOU AND YOUR KIDS’ before busting out crying.”
“My parents came into the room demanding to know what happened so I told them and they where pissed. My dad said I wasn’t their slave and he was sick of them treating me as such, my mom said if they even attempt to pressure me in anyway to babysit again they’d wouldn’t pay anything towards the wedding.”
“We all got into a massive fight my brother told my parents not go to wedding and my sister claimed I was the favourite so she isn’t on speaking terms with them ether.”
“The wedding ended up being cancelled because the other girl wouldn’t babysit alone so no childcare and they were counting on the money from my parents for multiple things.”
“My brother texted me today ‘I hope your happy you little b*tch this is all your fault you ruined my wedding all because you couldn’t accept it was child free you’re pathetic.’”
“My sister texted me similar stuff all day blaming me for being petty.”
“And if anyone is wondering my siblings are twins as for my bad grammar all I can say is sorry.”
Strangers online were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors sided with the OP as not the a**hole in the situation.
“NTA- They can’t have it both ways. They claim you’re a child so you can’t attend a child free wedding but you’re adult enough to supervise 9 children for days(& miss multiple school days to accommodate as well).”
“Child free weddings generally mean 12 and under unless it’s a venue that has an age restriction for insurance or legal purposes.”
“In her aunt’s home there is no difference between you attending now or after your next birthday other than they just wanted to use you and don’t care about you celebrating their marriage with them.” – sleepthedayzaway
“‘I’d babysit along with the brides 16 year old cousin a total of 9 kids as a way of being involved in the wedding without being there’.”
“HA. What involvement. The asks, especially one right after the other, gave it away. You’re NTA. I’m glad your parents backed up your decision.”
“An aunt who hates children enough to ban them from the premises but allow them for a short time so Mom & Dad can forever commemorate their part in the special day rings false.”
“It sounds more like the parents want a night free, and they tipped their hand went they kept going for more (overnight babysitting, week-long babysitting).” – snarfblattinconcert
“NTA, if in their eyes, you are too young to attend the wedding then you are too young to babysit. They didnt want you to come because they wanted a free babysitter. They should hire one and simply stop being so entitled.” – LobsterBoi420
“Lol NTA. If the wedding was actually going to happen they would have hired babysitters and paid them. This is not on you and you’re being used as the scapegoat.” – 4614065
“NTA. It doesn’t seem to me that you were upset about the wedding being ‘child free’ like they are trying to say.”
“You’re upset they are considering you a child, excluding you, and then expecting you to be their free babysitter to an unreasonable amount of children for an unreasonable amount of time. That’s pretty out of line in my opinion. I would be upset too.” – marleezy123
The OP wrote the following update, and things didn’t sound promising.
“Edit so I showed my parents the texts a few hours ago well my dad yelled my brothers ear off about ‘a grown man harassing a cHiLd’ till my brother hung up on him.”
“my sister ended up coming over with her crocodile tears trying to play victim about feeling overwhelmed with the kids and missing my parents . She didn’t look at me once when she cried about no childcare or her mental health, my parents told her it’s 100% my decision and they’ll support me ether way.”
“I told her I will never ever babysit again even if there’s an emergency and if they think about just dropping the kids off I call cps I’m done trying to be their sister I wash my hands of both of them .”
“My sister called me a selfish b*tch and my mom told she was disappointed in my sister for all this mean girl bullsh*t and she needed to leave.”
“My sil rang about 20 minutes ago apologising and said in 2 weeks when everyone is more calm she’d like to host a dinner so we can all make up and be a family again.”
“My parents are going because I want them to make up with my siblings for their own sake but as for me I think I’ll have plans that night.”
Disrespect at a level like this can be a deep cut for teens.
Hopefully, in time, the siblings can find a way back to each other and repair their familial relationship.