The things kids say stemming from their boundless imagination can be oftentimes amusing and very entertaining.
However, there are the occasional comments uttered from these mouths of angels that can be downright disturbing and leave you wondering how in the world they came up with the idea in the first place.
Redditor slightlysillyy is a nanny who was upset by a comment made by one of the boys she looked after.
And after learning the source of the comment, she took the course of action she thought was right.
But when she started feeling guilty about how she responded to the situation, she took to the “Am I the A**hole”(AITA) subReddit to ask:
“AITA for deliberately getting a nurse fired?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m a nanny for two boys, aged 9 and 6. A week or two ago they were cranky with each other all day, just arguing and screwing around constantly.”
“This happens sometimes, no big deal, but the 9 year old snapped at his brother— ‘yeah, well you ate your brother when you were in mom’s belly!’”
“It was such an incredibly dark and shocking thing for him to say. I immediately separated them, told the younger one his brother should NOT have said that and it absolutely isn’t true.”
“I put the older brother in time out and then sat and asked him why he said that to his brother.”
The OP learned that he did not come up with the idea himself.
“’It’s true! Miss Dana told me.’” Dana is a neighbor, and also happened to be their mother’s prenatal nurse.”
“I asked exactly what Dana had said and he replied, ‘she said that’s why (brother) is so slow. Because he had a twin but he ate him when they were in mom’s belly. That’s why I don’t have two brothers instead of one.’”
“I immediately shut it down and told him that Miss Dana should not have said that to him, and he shouldn’t tell his brother anything that she said. I explained that babies don’t ‘eat’ other babies in the womb and it was a terrible thing for her to say.”
“I spoke to their mother about it and she was hurt but honestly not surprised.”
There was more to uncover about Dana and the truth behind the mother’s pregnancy.
“She told me she knew Dana had a drinking problem and probably just mentioned something while intoxicated. She also said, however, that the info Dana spread was partially true.”
“There was a twin, and the twin did die in utero. There is no way the nine year old could have known this without Dana saying something— his mother has never told either of the boys about it.”
And while the OP wanted there to be consequences, the mother advised against it.
“She’s my boss and these are her kids, so I wanted her to decide how to proceed….but then she warned me not to report Dana to the hospital.”
“She said it would cause ‘problems for her socially’ in the neighborhood and since Dana’s husband works for their HOA he could ‘make their lives miserable’ with yard regulations and such if she found out who reported her.”
“I ended up calling and reporting Dana anyway. It’s a huge violation of HIPAA, and who knows what other vulnerable women she’s exposing? If she’s willing to get drunk and tell a nine year old that his brother cannibalized his twin in the womb, what the hell isn’t she willing to do?”
“I’m sure Dana will be fired over this, and I do feel guilty for going against my boss’s wishes, but I felt it went way beyond just her.”
Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors decided ESH and explained why each person was guilty of part of the blame.
“After much debate, I think I have to go ESH.”
“Dana for possible HIPAA violations and for being intoxicated and alone with a child (???)”
“Mom for not wanting to report for real but sh**ty reasons.”
“You for going behind mom’s back on the word of a 9 year old when I’m not even sure your complaint actually follows reporting guidelines, as you have no idea and no way to know when Dana may have actually talked to 9yo (reports must occur within a 180 day period and while it’s likely a 9 year old wouldn’t hold onto info for longer than that, this info is just weird enough that who knows?).”
“If you haven’t already, I do think you need to fess up to mom and give her a head’s up.”
“However, if you’re correct and Dana is violating HIPAA, then you did overall do the right thing, and I think you can wear your AH badge with pride – even if it’s with another employer.” – justobsolete
“I super agree that ESH- except the mom, kind of. Neighbors can be so petty and it’ll definitely come back to bite her if people find it out due to the HOA husband.” – peepeeweed
“I agree ESH.. except the Mom. We’ve got no way of knowing why she doesnt want to get involved – it could be something entirely personal that she doesnt feel comfortable sharing with her employee.”
“The fact that, if this is escalated into a full-on OCR investigation, the mother could be forced to participate against her wishes (OCR has legal power to compel parties involved) really doesnt sit well with me.”
“For all OP knows, the details of her pregnancy could have been quite traumatic for the Mom. Forcing her to relive them is not something she should have to face unwillingly.” – G0r1ll4
This person had a problem with the OP but also expressed having issues with the perception of morality as depicted on Reddit.
“I’m gonna be honest here, regardless of whether or not this person was in violation of the rules is irrelevant to whether or not OP is an a**hole – the fact that they made the report without knowing the rules, and on the words of her 9 year old, makes her an a**hole.”
“This subreddit has a really strange morality compass whereby people seem to be absolved if things work out in the end, regardless of their intentions… if you were beating the sh*t out of someone on the vague suspicion that they might have stolen something from you, and you end up being correct, you’re absolutely still the a**hole for doing it, you just got lucky that you were right.”
“Seriously, I need to constantly remind myself that Reddit morality is absolutely not congruent with real world morality.” – PM_ME_BUTTHOLE_PLS
HyacinthFT responded to the reaction submitted by PM_ME_BUTTHOLE_PLS—calling it a “strange comment”—and challenged their opinion on “Reddit morality.”
“No one here would be saying it’s OK to beat someone up because they might have stolen something from you. I just don’t think that’s the general vibe of this sub, even though that has never come up here (because of the ‘no violent questions’ rule). I think most people here would be against that even if you had 100% solid proof someone robbed you.”
“We have no idea how the OP’s situation will work out, so saying that people’s answers here are biased because of how it worked out makes really no sense at all.”
“‘Regardless of intentions’…. Are the OP’s intentions bad? It sounds like they’re just concerned about a drunk nurse who said a horrible thing to a little kid. Whether or not the OP’s actions are right is debatable, but their intentions sound OK.”
“Reddit is literally a collection of human beings who live in the real world. There is no agreed-upon ‘real world morality.’ That is, people disagree all the time in the real world about morality!”
“This is something people who venture into the real world know! Just because you disagree with some people here doesn’t mean the people here don’t exist in the real world!” – HyacinthFT
This person stood by the OP and strongly encourage others in a similar situation to react the same.
“It’s not about what’s acceptable for the kids to know. It’s about what’s acceptable for a healthcare worker to expose about patients under their care. Patient confidentiality is serious business.”
“I fully support anyone who learns about a HIPAA violation reporting it.” – lucia-pacciola
In an update, the OP said she expects consequences for her actions and wrote:
“Thanks for all of the replies. Unfortunately they seem to be just as divided as I feel. I appreciate everyone’s input.”
“For the record, I expect repercussions at my job over this and expect to be terminated because of the report I made.”
“I knew that going into it and am totally fine with that. I just wanted to do what seemed to be the morally correct thing regardless.”