Weight is a very sensitive issue.
And even with the body positivity movement, discussing weight seems to be even more taboo.
There are ways and right times.
And sometimes the right time is no time.
Case in point…
Redditor aita2012 wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling a pregnant woman she weighs more than me?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m 19 F[emale], the pregnant woman in question is my aunt (30 F).”
“Starting this off, I am very much fat and my extended, my parents are not a**holes, family has never been nice about it.”
“From the weird diet suggestions I get all day long, from my grandpa giving outright insults disguised as ‘jokes’ from certain people, it has always been a thing.”
“My aunt has always been more likely to tell me about an exercise routine but she has been known to joke about breaking chairs and s**t.”
“My mom, my aunt and I went out to a restaurant together today and when we were ordering she was giving me looks.”
“My mom went to the bathroom and while she was gone my aunt was like ‘are you sure you want to order that… you know, given your weight and all.'”
“Mind you, we were ordering the exact same thing.”
S”o I told her something along the lines of ‘You do realize you probably weigh more than me right now, right?’ and this woman burst out into tears.”
“My mom comes back out and my aunt says that I called her fat, which excuse you I did not.”
“But I explained the whole thing from my P[oint] O]f] V[iew] and my mom told me that it was wrong to insult someone who’s pregnant and to apologize.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“You have to remember she’s pregnant she’s insulting for two now.”
“Sorry couldn’t resist the joke, you’re NTA in this specific situation, generally one doesn’t draw attention to a pregnant persons weight.”
“But I’ll give it a pass given the context.”
LunaticBZ
“NTA. Let me get this straight…”
“She comments on your food and weight, and this is not an insult (just ‘concern’).”
“Then you do the exact same thing and it is an insult?”
“Ask your mom and aunt to explain that, because I am sure you were just concerned about the baby, right? :)” ~ RUaRealDr
“Well to be fair, gaining weight while pregnant isn’t cause for concern.”
“That’s just a baby growing.”
“Don’t try and play into that fact by asking for an explanation.”
“That being said, I love the come back OP.”
“Just don’t talk about people’s weight.”
“Ever. Well, unless you’re a medical professional.” ~ DutchGirl122
“I gained 70 lbs when I was pregnant, got gestational diabetes and was on bedrest for 2 months.”
“The weight was definitely an issue during pregnancy AND delivery.”
“My D[ad] I[n] L[aw] was heavy before getting pregnant and she has really put on weight as well, has high B[lood] P[ressure] and ends up weekly at the labor and delivery dept at the hospital after EVERY weekly appointment.”
“They only advise gaining 25 to 30 lbs while pregnant. NTA.” ~ CatrosePro54
“I agree with NTA but I disagree with people not drawing attention to a pregnant person’s weight.”
“For some reason, being pregnant is an invitation for any and everyone to comment on your body.”
“Sincerely, A twice over mom with comments varying from ‘you’re so small for your gestation!”
“To, ‘you’re carrying a girl bc you’re fat in the butt.'” ~ throwRAwhatnoww
“Well, being pregnant doesn’t give you a free pass to be an AH either.”
“If she’d kept her mouth shut, OP wouldn’t have said anything.”
“So NTA but the aunt is definitely TA.” ~ Liveandletlive_
“NTA. You should probably put your judgement first.”
“I believe the algorithm looks for that in the first three characters.”
“Totes agree by the way.” ~ ScottishSpartacus
“NTA – jeeeeezus no offense but your whole family sounds like a bunch of AHS.”
“It’s kind of hilarious how much sh*t they talk but you can’t even make a simple observation without being scorned.”
“Respect to you OP for making her cry.”
“I wish I could’ve seen it.” ~ RzymskiWasTaken
“NTA! Your extended family is uncomfortable with your weight and their insecurities and inability to act right makes them say incredibly hurtful things to you.”
“You telling your aunt that she weighs more than you isn’t technically an insult.”
“She just took it that way, and that’s her problem!”
“My suggestion would be to memorize some good come backs and every time they made a rude comment about you, fling an insult back at them.”
“I would say to be the mature one and ignore it, but honestly ignoring it won’t make them stop.”
“You could try telling them that their remarks hurt your feelings.”
“But they will probably defend their sh**ty behavior and make excuses for it.”
“I think your aunt should have kept her big mouth shut and they should all mind their own business.”
“Good for you for saying something!” ~ ItsOk_ItsAlright
“NTA The world is so dang judgmental, I’m sorry your family is treating you this way.”
“You are NTA, they are.”
“That’s some toxic crap to have to grow up with.”
“Pregnant women are not some kind of magical beings.”
“They can be the same name calling jerks as before they were pregnant, just growing a person in their belly.” ~ vegetable-trainer23
“Read the title and came here to say Y T A.”
“Can’t believe I’m judging NTA after reading the post.”
“I’m generally a fan of taking the high road/not stopping to their level or whatever.”
“But if this has been going on for years, nothing other than rudeness is getting through.”
“Maybe if you keep giving her a dose her own medicine she’ll knock it off.”
“In what world is it okay for her to deride you all she wants for literal years.”
“But you say one thing and she dissolved into a puddle?” ~ Prof182
“NTA. You live by the fat joke, you die by the fat joke.” ~ duckylam
“NTA but your Aunt is for bringing up your weight.”
“You returned the favor.”
“Even if being pregnant is not the same, she said something hurtful to you.”
“She doesn’t get special exemption to be rude because she’s pregnant.” ~ DeepFudge9235
“As a fat person I say, if you don’t want me to comment on your body, don’t comment on mine.”
“I in general don’t think you should comment on bodies unless asked but as a fat person the amount of people who just think they can comment or give suggestions is wild.”
“Being fat for me is a descriptor but so many people fear the fat title.”
“And if you want to make comments on my body, be prepared to have the same energy returned.”
“She f**ked around and found out.”
“Pregnant or not she’s the a**hole not you. NTA.” ~ LanguageResident
“NTA. Jesus, so many people in the comments are saying that you shouldn’t have stooped to her level.”
“But that sounds like such a useless platitude considering the fact that she’s been bullying you about this for years.”
“I’m assuming that she doesn’t live under a rock and therefore knows that harassing people about their weight is rude and hurtful.”
“Your comment seems pretty tame compared to some of the stuff she’s said.”
“She’s supposedly mature enough to bring a child into this world, so she ought to learn some kindness.”
“God forbid her child becomes her next target.” ~ grisver
“NTA. I will most likely get a shitload of downvotes but here goes…”
“She had no business shaming you for what you ordered in a restaurant, whether or not she ordered the same thing.”
“She was body shaming you, which she’s done before, and it needs to stop.”
“Giving her a taste of her own bitter and mean medicine is justified in this case, in my honest opinion.”
“She hasn’t lived in your shoes, she has no idea about how you feel and you don’t deserve to be her punching bag.”
“Maybe now she’ll think twice about commenting on your weight and food choices.” ~ LoveBeach8
“Pregnancy is a hard time but that doesn’t give her a pass for crocodile tears.”
“If anything, the fact that you saying the same thing back to her made her that upset when she’s been talking to you like that forever shows how NTA you are.” ~ tupperw*ore
“NTA. Then it’s wrong for someone pregnant to insult you.”
“A voluntary condition doesn’t give them the right to use that as an excuse to avoid consequences for verbal insults.” ~ MizzJax
Well OP, reddit understands your feelings.
Sometimes, one is compelled to speak.
It sounds like you and A LOT of the family need a deep conversation.
Let us know how it goes…